The following morning we woke up slowly and our heads still spun because of the drink we had the previous night. Our group, Ashley and I went fishing and I meditated all the morning about the strange dream I had during the night. I was inside a jungle way to dense and everything was communicating with me, I could even hear plants and trees talking. Then suddenly the scenario changed and I was on a beach filled with sand hills. There were deer all around and all the people I knew were standing close to the beach. Some of them were calling me, some of them were smiling, the most of them were screaming to run from that place. I had in my hand a wavy horn I collected on the ground. While I was standing there, a small goat single horned came close to me. It leaded his head bowing to me and inviting me to do the same. After that, I put my hand on his horn and it split from his head effortlessly. I started beating the two horns as they were sticks and all the deer moved closer to me, so I began running around and they did it too as if they were an extension of my body. We moved up and down the hills and all this running around didn't make me tired.

When I woke even if I tried I couldn't guess the meaning but it felt so good.

All the peace went away the moment we returned to the camp, when Mara told us that John got better and started walking again, while Mike could not make it and passed away.

That news shocked me to the point I could not move anymore and Ashley looked at me with a terrified face and started crying on my shoulder. I remember her warm tears wetting my neck and her little hand taking and holding mine.

I was powerless.

A simple ceremony was made and even John participated. He explained to us how hard he trained to reach lucid dreams and to cure himself. He said that during this kind of dreams he could do whatever he wanted and he reached a new way of consciousness: more aware, more awake, more kind.

He even used a method called Hamer, by the name of his finder. This started the so called new medicine. It was different from normal therapy or hospital situations. Normally the organ infected or the disease was seen as a symptom of the malady and something bad to kill or eliminate, John explained  that the illness is seen as a conflict to progress or to heal. This new type of thinking changes everything. Once understood this it is possible to see the brain as the central station of our beings, our electric magnetic machine and the creators of codes that makes our body work. If it is both the creator and the generator, it can origin the diseases as the cancer, but it can even create the cure by itself. What does it need? Just to understand the cause of the conflict. If there is no more conflict, the malady will end.

The problem is that we have medicines for everything that stops the process of the brain to understand where the conflict is coming from. There is a time needed to be sick and understand the cause of the pain first.

John added that Mike didn't believe in this and he didn't do the exercises he needed to. If he changed, he could have stayed, he said shaking his head.

A wooden altar was made and it made a giant flame. Everybody brought up flowers and throw them into the fire. A chant came and got lost into the wind with the smoke.

They buried his ashes in the ground in a very humble and respectful way. Death for this tribe was a very different concept from the western world we were used too. They took it as a mystery to accept and respect. They did not believe in the destruction of the being , but in the hope he will come back in some other form and learn what he needed to grow in awareness.

Tov invited the three of us to his wooden hut after it.

"Death is a very painful experience for you who still live in a world made of lies and taboos" he said.

"I remember the first time I fell the void and the absence of security. I will tell you a secret: all of us is dying right now, we just don't know our time and place, but everyone must go through it. We were born alone and we will die alone, we were born naked and we spend our lives accumulating riches and stuff we don't need when the most important event of our life is feared and not accepted. I ask you something, what are you living for? If death comes to your front door knocking, what do you have to offer to her? Are you spending your days chasing her, trying to keep up or living unaware that she's hunting you and she can get you anytime? What do you do to honor your way back? Do you know what awaits us? Don't waste your breath."

He let us go without answering the questions and we meditated on these matters until the full moon rose up in the most dark sky I had ever seen.

Mara woke us up the following morning with a huge smile that light up that sad day.

"Today our hunters should come back to us with a great hunt" she said. "It must be hard for you the loss you felt yesterday but do not discourage"

We spent the day like we were not there, even when we had to be concentrated about our tasks and work.

John joined the green ones and Tiferet showed him all the principles about the herbs and trees of the place.

In the evening Tov and Mara were waiting for us in the hut between the leaves.

"How was your day ?" Asked Tov.

"Terrible" replied Ashley with big red eyes. "I hardly slept"

"Do you still suffer about your loss?" He asked kindly.

"Yes, we all do" replied John.

"That's a good point to start" replied Mara

"Your suffering is caused by attachment and fear of what you don't know. You must realize that your own ego is trapping you in this state of suffering and ignorance. You need to let it go to feel complete oneness with everything around you. All that surrounds you, right now, is an illusion and to see it with proper eyes, you must start observing with no judging, like a child. First you must correct your sight, then your speech and finally your mind. Then you need to understand that death is just a transformation, so it's important you live to reach that day so that like a pawn when it reaches the other side of the board: you could choose how to be useful once again and serve."

"These are good words" I interrupted.

"I can't get your way of thinking but it's surely way too sick. It is that what you say to people who suffer? It is how you comfort them?"

"See" replied Tov

"We are not here to make you feel better with some more lies. We see the opportunity to heal your broken heart with true words and kind action. Would you prefer us to pity you? To cry with you? No way, we are doing more, we are giving you the opportunity to change.

It's painful but, once done, nothing will hurt you anymore the way it does now. You will be detached by the reality that hurts you and feel free to be connected with the divine spark you will recognize in everything.

Only those who change, can remain"

"What this is supposed to mean?" I replied furiously.

"Enough with games! Speak spinner of tales!"

"We can't tell you how this work as long you are not ready to accept it, that would be enough for today"

We went to our shelter without feeling any better and still sad.

The hunters were not returned yet and probably they would not, until the next day. Before going to sleep, a question came to my mind. What if they were right, what if our lives had never been true? Were we dreaming?