hana
while i was doing my homework, i suddenly feel it coming
i sUDDENLY FEEL THE URGE COMING LIKE A TSUNAMI HITTING MY ASS, LIKE A VOCALNO IS GONNA ERUPT IN MY ASS, LIKE AN ICE BERG HITTING MY BUTT HOLE
except that its not tsunami, vocalno or ice berg
its something what we call the natural process of human, as known as releasing your inner rainbow into the toilet bowl !!!
IM SHOOK WHEN DID MY VOCABULARY BECOME SO GOOD, I GUESS ITS WORTH WORKING MY ASS OFF FOR THIS
speaking for my ass, the sensation is coming and i literally can't hold it anymore that i ran to the toilet
BUT
i ran back because i forgot my phone !!!@@@!@@
how do you survive in the toilet without a phone, i don't know
i remember i used to hide a book under my big ass shirt and go into the toilet and i was so sad my book dropped into the toilet bowl !!!!!!!! maybe my ass was too small that time to cover the whole toilet bowl i feel so sad now
okay anyways when i was about to close the door, i ran out again and grabbed a pack of oreo then i went in again
then i sat my huge ass down on the toilet, probably covering like more than one whole of the toilet bowl
ah, i am finally at peace now
and as i stared at my thighs i had to urge to slap them because they were so thicc and i can probably choke on them
after i peed, i proceeded with the next operation
OPERATION : SAVE FROM DROWNING INTO BOREDOM WHILE SQUEEZING OUT THE POOP
so i fished out my phone from the pocket, but i don't literally fish it out i'm not selfish okay i don't sell fish
and when i clicked on the home button it showed a picture of my babies or bae or baebies or bbys so i licked it because i couldn't help it
i also kissed it because i'm a thirsty hoe
ah, speaking of thirsty
i forgot to bring my bottle of honey lemon into the toilet i'm LAUGHING MISERABLY why am i so forgetful omo my life is sad
maybe i can drink my pee
or not
what about the toilet bowl water??????
okay no
honey lemon is the best! because it is sweet and sour like me, and i am the next top model in this toilet !!!! IM SHOOK AGAIN
as im shaking i realised my poop is also shaking while coming down, I AM GONNA SHAKE IT DOWN SHAKE IT DOWN
okay back to my phone
because i am a thirsty hoe
i opened wattpad and start binge reading fanfictions so i get to cry over how perfect the authors' writings are and how the stories make me want to jump off a building every time
do you actually get me
because i get me
AND THEN WHEN I WANTED TO VOTE I REALISED I CAN'T BECAUSE MY WIFI CONNECTION IS LOW QUALITY
my wifi should learn from me, I AM HIGH QUALITY LIKE SEUNGKWAN'S ENGLISH
after that the wifi sign from my phone's status bar vanished in the thick and thin air
WHAT THE FUC
why does my wifi suck in the toilet it should suck its own thing instead, you know the thing, yeah i know
I AM SO PISSED I HATE MY WIFI
oh wait
my wifi is back
I LOVE MY WIFI
"PPOING"
yes my lovelies, that is the sound of my fabulous piece of rainbow sliding down from my greasy ass
i feel so relieved now
oh my god, i realised i didnt touch my packet of oreo!
so i bent down and picked up the packet of oreo and i opened it while stood up, my ass not in contact with the toilet bowl anymore
no, i TRIED to open it
BUT NO MATTER HOW HARD I PULL THE THING PLASTIC IT DOESNT GO OFF IT IS SUCH A SHITTY PACK
FIGHT ME WHO WRAPPED THIS PACKET OF OREO
and i used my strongest force, the force i used to squeeze out my piece of rainbow, to open the packet of oreo
but i sent it flying all over the toilet instead.
"PPOING"
what, i didn't even sit down and poop put any shit ??? oh my god what on earth is happening
so i turned around
and
stared in horror as i saw that poor, piece of oreo lying inside the toilet bowl
I HATE LIFE NOW WHY
and i saw one of the oreo was stuck on the gap between the window panel, and another one landing just on the floor
great, i love life
anyways i just climbed up and took the oreo and i bent down to take the other one as well and i ate it
OWKXWKKXKW OREO IS LIFE
okay, the oreo in the toilet bowl can't be wasted so i reached out my hand to grab the piece of oreo
BUT I WAS SO SHOOK WHEN I SAW A FREAKING HAND COMING OUT FROM THE TOILET BOWL
AND MY OREO WAS GONE
WHAT IS THIS MY ASS IS SHAKING SO HARD NOW
and then,
I SAW A FUCKING PERSON COMING OUT FROM THE TOILET BOWL AND IT HAS LIKE TWO ANTENNAS ON EACH SIDE OF HIS HEAD
AND THERES A FREAKING PAIR OF WINGS BEHIND ITS BACK
THEN THE FUCKING CREEPY PERSON WAS WEARING PINK FROM HEAD TO TOE OH MY GOD I HATE THIS COLOUR IT IS SO GAY
"hi! i am kim seokjin, your toilet fairy, and i will grant you any toilet-ty wishes!"
OH MY SHIITAKE MUSHROOMS
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why did i even write this
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