Til: mum is a horrible listener
She never listens to whatever the f i said. It has always been like that i just too dumb to realise. I experienced this already, i was in secondary school then, so i couldnt make sense of what was going on.
Now that i look back, she never actually listened to what i wanted to say, she was just forced to coz my voice was there. I got brushed away, interupted, ignored, yelled at. I was just too dumb.
I guess its ok now, since i finally learned. I bet its way easier for other ppl, that they can see what was going on, thus not suffer like i am rn. How fuking stupid am i for not realising this when its so fking obvious. Theres so many evidences so many cues. I am truly stupid.
The intensity of me visting this app is getting higher. I learned a lot maybe, im unstable maybe. I thought im good now but im not. I was so easily affected. Its been so long since im this shaken, so i forgot how weak i am.