AN: Long time no see. I am not dead. I have just been dealing with a lot of stuff these past few months including Writer's Block. So this was originally supposed to be a long one shot but I realized it was getting too long. Now it gets dragged out over two parts, lol. The next part comes out in a few days. 

TW: Assumed death, mentions of suicide, depression, forms of infidelity (does that count?), and anger issues

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 Scott was trapped inside his own head as he waited for the physical therapist. He couldn't believe how he had ended up here. It was supposed to be a good night. They were there together and happy. It was so right at the time. They could hear the faint music from below as they had been in their own world. Everything was so chill and relaxed. They had laughed and joked, all tipsy. To go from that hidden moment of beauty to being front page news was like whiplash. All it took to break it was one wrong step....

A month and a half earlier....

It was really hard not to grimace as he and the others were shuffled into the front door of the club. Normally he would be all for a place like this but he honestly didn't want to be here or with a bunch of people. But he just couldn't open his mouth and voice what he really wanted to say.

"Scott, isn't this place amazing," his boyfriend shouted to him over the pulsing electronica blasting from the speakers. That's right. That's why he couldn't say anything. He looked over to the handsome Asian man. He had been so distant with him. And although he didn't want to go out, he had to make it up to him. That's how relationships worked; by making compromises.

"Uh...yeah. It's great, babe." He flashed him a bright smile that was taken instantly. Everyone said he was a horrible actor. If only they knew how well he could fake being in love over and over again. It was routine to him now.

As he moved a bit to walk further into the club he brushed against the person on his right. He looked down to see the beautiful angry brown eyes of his best friend looking back at him. He had a scowl on his face. Scott instantly felt guilt wash over him. He screwed up. Mitch's attitude was a good enough indication of how he felt about their little group outing. Scott just watched Mitch strut into the sea of bodies, his heart hammering and burning eyes from unshed tears.

—

A few drinks and dancing did nothing to pick up Scott's mood. He felt like he was being moved around by a puppeteer from above. He had tried to have fun and put his frustrations behind him, but the fakeness was getting to him. His face ached from all the forced smiles and his throat wasn't much better with the laughs. The worst part was trying to keep calm when it came to his boyfriend. The man seemed to relish in Scott being his. Scott wasn't much for the act. He had been lucky in that he could keep himself out of his boyfriend's hold. It was kind of messed up what he was doing but he was too done with everything to care at this point.

He stopped his half assed dancing to take a breath. His throat was feeling a little rough after all those 'laughs'. "I am going to get another drink," he announced. He saw a few nods of acknowledgement from his friends.

As he side stepped out of the way, his boyfriend caught his arm before he could escape. "Don't take too long now, Scott," he said loudly with a teasing smile. Scott didn't have the energy to respond so just gave a tight close lipped smile and a jerky nod. He hurried to get off the floor and away from the others. He couldn't even blame anxiety for how he was acting and feeling. He was just done with it all.

The universe was looking out for him because as he walked up to the bar he saw Mitch sitting daintily on a stool with a drink in hand. The dark cloud that was hanging over him started to clear at the sight of the enchanting singer. "Hey," he said to the brunette as he got closer, "have you been here the whole time?" He could hear the softness in his voice. It came out naturally when Mitch was involved.

Mitch locked eyes with him as he heard his voice. The subtle relaxation of his shoulders was immediate. "Not the whole time. Came over about fifteen minutes ago. I've been chatting with Diego here," he said sarcastically as he gestured to the bartender behind him.

Scott smiled softly. This is what he was missing. Just having a one on one with his favorite tenor. His lips dropped as he was reminded of their current predicament. "I'm sorry that we ended up here. I know you aren't in the mood for being on all night." Mitch huffed and sipped on his drink.

"That's putting it mildly." He stared at his drink as he swirled it in the glass. Scott could tell that the anxiety was creeping on him. "Needed a break from everything," he asked, looking over to the dance floor.

Scott groaned as he fell onto the stool next to Mitch. "You could say that. I just wish I could stop being such a people pleaser." He raised his hand up off the bar top to get a drink.

Mitch snorted. "Maybe if you stopped spoiling people to get them to like you." He flicked his eyes up at Scott. The meaning wasn't hard to decipher. Scott shook his head.

"You are so cruel, babe." The bartender came over to them. "I'll have what he's having." The bartender nodded and pulled out a glass and started on the drink.

Mitch was playing with the straw again. "Why don't we go somewhere a bit more quiet," Mitch suggested, looking up at Scott through those crazy long lashes. Scott's heart jumped at the sight.

He swallowed the saliva that was enveloping his mouth. "Uh...I don't think the bathroom is such a good idea."

Mitch rolled his eyes. "That wasn't what I was talking about," he replied with a scoff. "This place has a second floor. I bet there's a door to the roof." He had a cat ate the canary smirk with mischief dancing in his eyes.

Scott didn't even need to think about it. He turned to the bartender as he set his drink in front of him. "We'll take a bottle of any wine you got." He slapped down a few bills on the bar top. The bartender arched his brow. He shrugged and pulled out a bottle from behind him and handed it over.

The excitement of what they were about to do was thrumming inside Scott. This is what he wanted. And the fun of skipping out was exhilirating. He grabbed the bottle in one hand and his glass in the other. He let Mitch loop his arm with his. "Come on, Scotty. Let's blow this place." They giggled in glee as they slipped up the staircase to have their own party away from everyone else.

—

Scott couldn't stop staring at Mitch as the slim half Italian twirled about in front of him. "I feel so free up here," he screamed into the air. Mitch's coat fluttered around him and it was almost like he was wearing a tutu. He was like Scott's personal ballerina.

"You are glowing, honey," Scott called out as he recorded him on his phone's camera. The cool air blew and tousled Mitch's hair. He looked straight at Scott. His heart squeezed at the angel he was blessed with. Mitch's brown eyes were bright and full of sparkle. His cheeks were tinged pink and his lips were as red and delicate as a rose. "God....I love you," he let slip out in a breath of awe, ending the recording.

Mitch's smile widened and he held out his hand. "Come here," he said softly. Scott put his phone away and walked up to him, grabbing his hand. Mitch looked up at him. "Your stress lines are gone."

Scott's fair eyebrows scrunched together. "What?"

Mitch just brought his left hand up and smoothed his thumb over the top of Scott's brows. "You had lines all on your forehead and around your mouth. They are gone now."

Scott brought himself closer to Mitch. He wanted to breathe him in. "You always make the stress go away."

Mitch smiled happily. "Yeah...". Their noses brushed against each other. All Scott had to do was turn a little and duck his head. "Are you going to open that wine or not?"

Scott laughed and stepped back. "Of course, my queen." He didn't want to let go of Mitch's hand and so they walked over to the bottle together, fingers linked.

—

Mitch sipped at his wine with his behind parked on the corner of the ledge. "You could almost forget there are other people below us," Mitch wondered aloud. Scott chuckled, sitting on a crate about three feet from Mitch. He could feel the music faintly underneath his feet. He didn't care about it though. He and Mitch could make their own music up here.

"Yeah....". He thought back to earlier that night. "Mitch...?" Mitch looked over at him, waiting. "I....I'm sorry I didn't speak up. He just looked so sad. And I couldn't tell him that I was going out to spend time with you, by ourselves."

Mitch frowned and focused on his wine. "Of course. I mean he IS your boyfriend. Your lover," he said with a roll of his eyes at the end.

Scott stared deeply at his closest friend. "Don't say that. You know what you mean to me."

Mitch picked up his head and looked at him. He could see the longing in his eyes. "Sometimes, I'm not so sure." He was not going to stand for this. He set down his glass, got to his feet, and stepped up to Mitch. Before Mitch could get another word in, he had grabbed his face and kissed him. Mitch practically melted and wrapped his free hand around his neck to deepen the kiss. Mitch's sweet moan spurred him on to change his angle just a bit to slip his tongue in. His hands had transferred to Mitch's hips as they stood there, the taste of wine on both their tongues, and the wind blowing around them.

To Scott's disappointment they had to part after a few minutes for lack of breath. Their breaths mingled together as they looked at each other, full of light. "Well it's been a while since we did that," Mitch said with a giggle.

A huge smile spread on Scott's face at hearing the cute sound. "It's only been a year and a half," he rebutted.

"Hmmph...too long for me."

Scott rubbed his nose against Mitch's. "I'm sorry, baby. I'll never make you wait like that again." His voice was light and soft as he nuzzled Mitch's cheek. Mitch hummed happily as he rubbed circles into Scott's lower back with his fingers. The feel of Mitch's fingers on his skin made him tingle. He wanted this to be his every day. Having Mitch in his arms and being whole with his presence.

"Fill me up, daddy," Mitch asked and raised up his glass to show its emptiness.

—

Scott couldn't stop laughing as Mitch described the photo he wanted to take of him and Scott dressed as a Bavarian couple. "....and the lederhosen will look so good on you. We might need to find a way to give my chest some definition but we can make it work."

Tears streamed down Scott's face as he dropped his head onto Mitch's shoulder. They were now both sitting on the ledge together, with a third of the bottle still left. "Why would you do that to us!? I say we go to Oktoberfest normal."

Mitch pouted. "But don't you want to see me in a low cut blouse and a nice skirt? Maybe a thong on underneath?" He caressed Scott's inner thigh, his pinky brushing against what he really wanted.

Scott sat up, feeling the arousal bubble inside. "Wasn't the Europe leg of the last world tour enough for you, you needy girl?"

"Nope," Mitch replied sassily, leaning over and sticking his tongue out at him. Scott groaned. He couldn't resist him. Scott met his lips with his own. Just talking about all their plans for the tour and the future...he couldn't wait for it. There was just one thing he had to do first.

They exchanged a few short but deep kisses. "You are something else."

Mitch's eyes twinkled. "Mmmm I know. Now put on some music. Mommy feels like dancing."

Scott smiled at the joy radiating from his little queen. He got up and offered his hand to Mitch. Mitch's lips twitched, trying to keep his smile at bay, as he put his hand in Scott's. With ease, Scott pulled him up and into his arms. He took out his phone and played a favorite of theirs. "Is it to your liking, my dear," he asked.

Mitch's eyes glowed as he looked up at him. "Always." They got into hold and waltzed atop the roof. Mitch laid his head on Scott's shoulder, still following Scott's lead. Right here...Scott's heart never felt more full.

—

The bottle was now emptied and Mitch was showing out as he swayed on the ledge. "...and we can just run it all, you know. Make this whole town ours," he ranted.

Scott smiled to himself as he filmed Mitch again. "Whatever you want is yours, Mitchy."

Mitch giggled as his wine sloshed around in his glass. "Damn right. I own this shit!" He stepped around, his footing a little off.

"You own it all. Now watch it, babe. You are right there." Scott was back sitting on the crate from earlier so he could have the perfect view of his Mitchy up on the "stage".

Mitch rolled his eyes. "Oh please. I have better balance than you. Let a girl live a little. Now back to the point, when are you going to break the news?"

Scott bit his lip as the early part of their conversation came up. "I....think tomorrow. It has been going on too long. It has to end."

Mitch nodded. "Good. It shouldn't be a surprise, I'm sure. You've been dropping hints, right?" He stepped a bit closer on the ledge as he talked.

Scott ran his fingers through his hair. "I think it's pretty clear, yeah. Still not going to be easy."

Mitch snorted as he took a swig of the remaining wine. "You care too much is the problem. It'll be over soon. But I think we'll wait until tour. It's enough of a gap. I mean....". Mitch searched for words as he mindlessly moved from side to side on the ledge. "...it should be expec-". Mitch's right foot slipped off the back of the ledge, his body falling back and his glass flying from his hand and shattering on the concrete.

Scott's heart dropped into his stomach as he jumped up from the crate, his phone clattering to the ground, the glass screen in shards. "MITCH!" It was as if everything was suddenly in slow motion. He saw the last traces of Mitch's eyes widened in shock and fear, the brunette's body careening for the ground below. He caught him in his arms as the momentum took them both over the ledge.......

—

Scott felt it like a zap when his consciousness woke up. He heard noises. There were voices. There was a lot of quick and whispered words. Why did they sound so far away? Then he heard beeping. What was that? What happened? The last thing he remembered was....MITCH!!!! He heard the beeping getting faster and lots of movement as he tried to open his eyes and mouth. Where was Mitch!? Where was he!? Where was his baby!? He screamed at himself to get up. He had to find Mitch! He needed to get up!

His eyes flew open. Everything was kind of blurry. Where was he!? Where was Mitch!? What was going on!? Where was Mitch? Where was Mitch? WHERE WAS MITCH!?!?!?!?!?!? Suddenly he felt his body relax and his eyes droop. It was like he was shutting down. How....strange.....

—

Everything hurt. Why? Scott groaned as his head pounded and his left arm and torso felt tight. Had he drunk too much and had his boyfriend laying on him again after sex? But he didn't want that. Had he given in again? Mitch would be FURIOUS with him. This wasn't going to be an easy one to explain.

He tried to move but it was like he was being stabbed repeatedly. What the fuck!? He tried to move his head to the side and he swore it was like someone had cracked it open. What happened to him!? Had he gotten into a fight? But he was with Mitch last night.

He fought to open his eyes. It was like they had been glued shut. They felt so heavy as he forced himself to keep them open. The room slowly came into focus. He was in a hospital. What was that on his left arm!? OH GOD!!!!! His heart banged fast against his chest. He screamed as pain radiated from his chest. WHAT THE FUCK!?

Scott could only scream more as the pain grew every time he tried to move now. It hurt so much. Just make it stop! He cried as every few seconds a new wave of pain washed over him. He heard the sounds of rushing feet getting closer. His door was thrown open and a doctor and a few nurses sped into the room. The doctor seemed to be stuck between relief and trepidation when he locked eyes with Scott.

"You're awake...Melissa, distribute the meds." Scott saw from the corner of his eye as a dark haired woman went over and did something. A second later he felt this coolness in his body, like cold water was running through his veins. The pain gradually lessened to near nothingness. "Does it feel better now?" Scott struggled to nod. His head felt so odd still. "I am Dr. Ramirez. Do you know where you are right now Scott?"

Scott's mouth moved so slowly to open. "The hospital," he croaked out. It was like someone had stuffed sand in his mouth. It was dry and rough. The doctor nodded as another nurse handed him some paper thing that looked like tissue. Another was changing his blankets. He seemed to have sweat through the previous ones.

"Good. Well it looks like you had a bit of a shock and your heart acted up. The medicine should calm that. I am sure your chest is thankful given the circumstances." Scott wished he could move his head for a questioning tilt but it was hard enough to keep it focused on the doctor. "I can see you are confused. Scott, you are lucky to be alive right now. What happened...it wasn't pretty."

"W-w-what happened?" His voice hurt so much trying to speak. It was like he had a swollen throat except ten times worse.

The doctor's brows furrowed and he pursed his lips. "...You fell." Scott squinted his eyes at the man. That didn't sound so bad. "....From the top of a building." And there was the kicker. How...how did that happen? "You fell from just above thirty feet. Thankfully you landed on a dumpster...on your side....which explains your...um....," Dr. Ramirez said awkwardly, gesturing subtly to his arm. "You cracked your skull, shattered your clavicle, scapula, and humerus bones, hence the metal. We had to fuse them back together with screws. You also have several broken ribs and a hairline fracture on your ilium. That is the large bone that goes into the pelvic area. Thankfully, no organs were punctured."

That explained why everything felt so tight. He was all bandaged up to hold his bones together. "Wh-where did it happen," he whispered. Dr. Ramirez sighed as he looked over some other charts.

"A club," he said, looking up at him. "It's crazy really." He shook his head as he tucked the chart under his arm. "I'll leave you to get some rest." He walked out the room with the nurses in tow. Scott's blood ran cold at the doctor's response. He felt trapped as his brain screamed but his heart was rhythmic as the meds lulled him into darkness once again.

—

The next time that Scott woke up he was greeted by Dr. Ramirez immediately. "Good afternoon, Scott. How are you feeling?" He had a gentle smile. It was calming.

It took a second for Scott's brain to register what he said and a few more to articulate a response. "Okay," he wheezed. His mouth was horribly dry.

Dr. Ramirez's brows bunched together. "Oh! I'm sorry. You must be thirsty." Dr. Ramirez was a bit awkward as he looked around for something and then picked up a styrofoam cup. "Some ice chips to suck on." He held it up to Scott's lips to grab a few pieces. Scott looked at him over the rim as he worked his tongue to pull out the chips. He had to know if "the club" he fell off of was the same one he was at that night. The ice melted after a bit in his mouth. The roughness against the walls of his mouth started to soften. "Better?" Scott nodded as he tried to formulate his words. "You look like there is something on your mind?"

Scott's jaw clenched. "What happened," he asked a bit more clearer than earlier. "The fall?"

That trepidation was back on Dr. Ramirez's face. The man's eyes widened and he shifted on his feet uncomfortably. "I....I can't answer that. L-l-let me get someone." The doctor, who must have been in his mid thirties, scurried out of the room like a scared child.

Scott glared at the door the doctor left through. Why was he acting so weird? He seemed afraid of something. What the fuck happened? Where was Mitch........?

—

He had to sit through two nurse check ins before Dr. Ramirez made a reappearance. The man slipped through the door, this somberness heavy on his shoulders. "I'm sorry for the wait. There's someone here to help explain things. Before that, I need to elaborate on your injuries. Your cracked skull...you had a subdural hematoma. What that means is that you had bleeding in the brain. Well not in the brain but outside of it. When you were in surgery on your shoulder we gave you medicine to slow the bleed, but it didn't work. We ended up putting you in an induced coma. That was three days ago. You woke up this morning from it. Thankfully it looked like it paid off."

"Why are you telling me this way?"

Dr. Ramirez looked down at his feet before looking him in the eye again. "Because we realized how bad it was after you woke up screaming like mad. You had barely been out of the surgery. Well....". He looked down again. "The rest is best left to your guest. I-I'll leave you two alone." He opened the door allowing one person in as he escaped Scott's dark glare.

Scott's heart stuttered at the sight of the man before him. There were tears in the eyes in front of him. "Oh Scott. I am so happy you are okay," his boyfriend said as he rushed forward to hug him. Scott faintly felt the pain as those tan arms wrapped around his neck and a kiss was placed on his cheek. For some reason he could just tell something was wrong. Where were his parents? Where was Mitch? His heart ached at that second question. Mitch....His beautiful angel....His mind flashed back to that night when Mitch was twirling so happily. Silent tears fell slowly.

His boyfriend pulled away, a watery and twitchy smile on his face. His eyes were tinged pink. He had been crying a lot. Scott really did scare him. "Hey. It's okay. You have nothing to worry about anymore," he whispered brokenly. It was like Scott's voice was locked inside and all he could do was cry. His boyfriend wiped away his tears. "It's okay, sweetie. It's okay."

Scott forced himself to gulp down the sob. "What is going on? Where are my parents? W-w-where's-". He couldn't finish his words. Fear soaked his bones at the possible answers.

"O-of course. Uh...Dr. Ramirez...he said you wanted to know what happened at the club. I'll get Rick and Connie right now. I'll be right back. Don't panic."

Scott wished he could laugh at the irony. Being instructed not to panic. He already was. This was like some sick mystery from TV playing out in real life. And he was the one expected to discover the truth.

Not even two minutes later, he saw his parents come in along with his boyfriend. "Baby!" Connie hurried to his side. Unlike his boyfriend, she was more careful in embracing him. "We thought we had lost you...it's a miracle," she mumbled against his hospital gown covered right shoulder.

Scott's eyes pricked with fresh tears at her shaky words. "Mom....".

"My boy," Rick said, touching his flat hair. He looked more put together than his wife but Scott knew he was struggling on the inside.

Looking between his parents and then to the brown eyes of the man near the door....the fear gripped him tighter. "What day is it?"

The three adults looked between each other in confusion and worry. "It's....Tuesday."

Scott's eyes welled with tears, his body shaking. "The date," he whispered out.

Connie looked at him sadly as she answered again. "The twelfth."

Scott was shaking worse now as his fears were confirmed. He held onto his blanket in the hopes it would ground him. "So....this did happen when we all went to the club on Friday," he said, directing his statement to the man furthest from him. His voice cracked. It wasn't a dream...He really did fall from the roof.

His boyfriend nodded as he tried to muffle his cries. "Y-yeah. I-it did." His voice was soft too.

Scott needed to be sure. He had to know. "Where is everyone else? Are they here?"

"Of course. Everyone's here."

"Bring them in," Scott responded immediately. He had to know. He just had to.

His boyfriend stared at him, flabbergast. "Sweetie, that's too many people. Only a couple at a time," Connie tried to placate him. Scott shook his head. He needed it. He needed it so bad.

"No. I need to see them. Please," he asked, his voice breaking at the last word.

The shining eyes of the three stared at him for a few seconds. "Whatever you want, Scott," his boyfriend said with care. His parents looked at one another as if communicating telepathically. They turned to him, a heavy silence between them.

"Whatever he wants," Rick said quietly.

—

It took a few minutes before many of his friends burst through the door. He looked through the group of people for that one face. He saw Kirstie, Matt, Kevin, Jonathan, Esther with Avi on one side and Darien on the other, Candice, Lindsay, Bram, Hausdo, Nicole, Jake, and even his ex Alex. But not the one person he wanted to see.

"Scott...," Kirstie asked.

Scott stared at his long time friend. "Where is he?" His voice was full of fear. Kirstie's eyebrows furrowed.

"Scott," Kirstie said again.

"Where is he," he begged. "Where's Mitch?" All the tears came together in his voice at his best friend's name.

The room became stark silent. He couldn't even hear a breath. Everyone looked between each other, unsure of what to say. He focused again on the third of the Trio. Kirstie was crying. He looked at everyone else. Esther was sobbing into Avi's shoulder. Kevin was staring ahead, his eyes empty. Matt was looking down, trying to keep it together. His boyfriend wasn't much better either. He looked up at his parents. They were in tears too.

"Scott, come here," Connie tried to soothe and reached for him.

No. He had hoped that it was just him that fell. That seeing Mitch going over that ledge was just a twisted nightmare. The doctor said that he was lucky that he had even made it. And the way everyone was acting. That meant....No. No. NO!!!!!!!

All the fear and pain he had been holding poured out in a heartbreaking howl. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" His eyes let free all the tears. He twisted the blanket in his right hand as he tried to curl up. He wanted to die. This pain was too unbearable to live through. No life was worth anything without Mitch. He could feel his heart tearing apart inside. His ribs cracked against his chest as his pain came out of him.

"Everyone, get out," he heard Dr. Ramirez shout. "Melissa give him a double dose. Scott, stop moving. You are causing the pain to be worse." He heard the doctor next to him but he couldn't. His Mitch was gone! He was all alone now! Another bloodcurdling howl ripped out from his throat.

—

Scott didn't know what time or day it was now. All he knew was that his body felt weightless. He had been drugged up heavily and restrained after he lost it. He had been staring at the ceiling ever since he had woken up. The next time a nurse or Dr. Ramirez came around he wanted to tell them to end it. His heart was gone. It went with Mitch. If only he had listened to his instincts and made Mitch get down from the ledge. Now....the consequence was the loss of his one true love and a broken body. It was better to end it than suffer.

"Hey Scott, can you hear me," Dr. Ramirez said. Scott turned his head and stared unblinkingly at him. "The meds might be a bit strong. I've been calling your name for a few minutes now. How does your body feel?"

It was back to that caring nature with a touch of trepidation. "Can't really feel it. Doesn't matter anymore. I want to be with Mitch now."

He turned his head back to stare above him. He could see out of the corner of his eye, the somberness take over Dr. Ramirez again. His eyes were dull and pained. "Your friends told me that Mitch is your trigger....that you feel connected to him beyond anyone else. You feel pain when he does."

Scott swallowed thickly. It was true. He and Mitch were bonded by their very souls. Growing up they always knew when the other needed them. It was weird and a bit scary as preteens and young teens until they realized it was because they were in love with each other. Even when they were stretched apart by distance and drama, they always knew deep inside that they would make it through anything.

Those pesky tears trickled down again. All the time that was wasted....if he had just fought for them. He could have fought for them to get back together on The Sing Off. They could have had it all. Mitch could have been his again. He could have been Mitch's. There would have never been anyone else. Right now....Mitch would be his husband. They would have their little starter house. And maybe even Wyatt still....But he had been so scared. Of trying to go for it. Of being open about his sexuality beyond their close group of friends and family.

There were so many chances to change things. His mind was assaulted by that time when he was so close to everything. That brief time in 2017 when he could have jumped for it. He closed his eyes as if it could help him deal with the pain. More tears streamed down. Holding Mitch's hand in his own. Them intertwining their fingers. Scott on top of him on the bed. Looking into those perfect doe brown eyes. He knew the love he saw in those eyes wasn't just a reflection but Mitch's own. Being nose to nose and the wisps of their breaths on the other's lips. It was like he could feel the string tied between them. That string that solidified them as soulmates.

The pang in his heart at the all too real memory of Mitch's lips on his own. From the very first time when they kissed in Mitch's bedroom to only a few nights before. They were so soft and perfect. God! Those lips were two flower petals. No matter how many times he had kissed Mitch, he would get that same feeling. The buzz inside his body and how it mellowed out into this smooth hum. He never got that with anyone else. He enjoyed kissing the guys he had been with, but he never craved and thrived from their kisses like Mitch. Mitch was special that way.

Thinking of his lips made him think of one of his favorite Mitch features: those dimples. His greatest joy in life was getting Mitch to smile. He looked so beautiful and at peace when he smiled. Even when he was secretly pissed. Scott remembered just cuddling with Mitch and wanting to touch his dimples because they were so cute. He was eternally grateful to Nel for Mitch having inherited that from her. He had kind of hoped to have a daughter with dimples in the future. Well, that wasn't happening now.

It was like his whole life with Mitch flashed before his eyes. Every moment growing up together. But then he was brought back to the beginning. The very first time he saw Mitch. It was like he was really there again. He could feel the slightly scratchy sweater vest he had on and the gross gel in his hair to keep it settled. He was standing off to the side waiting for his cue to get on stage with his "grandpa". He was watching the scene going on. He was kind of in his own head, trying to remember his lines. His eyes were sort of wandering, not staying on one thing at once. Then they fell on this short kid with dark hair, glowing olive skin, and a sassy smirk.

He was wearing this ridiculous cowboy hat. He looked like he had watched one too many westerns and thought he was a real cowboy. He was so entranced by him compared to everyone else on stage. Part of the reason was because he was literally a few shades darker so automatically stood out. The other part is that he just had this glow. He just belonged on stage. Scott knew that whoever he was, he liked him better than anyone else. He also had the inkling in the back of his head that he was also the most beautiful too. He was just drawn to him. That short kid was his Mitch. He tried to seal in that first sight into his brain.

He opened his eyes to see the hospital room around him again. He sighed. This was it. He had come to peace with this. "Dr. Ramirez, I want you to help me kill myself."

He didn't hear a response from the man. He looked over to see the man staring in shock, speechless. He actually looked like he was about to faint. "I-I'm sorry.....WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!? W-why would you want to do that!?"

Scott felt bad for the guy. He obviously didn't get patients wanting to do this sort of thing often. "I said I want to die. I want you to help me. I have nothing left here. I need to be with Mitch."

Dr. Ramirez just stared and finally fell to his knees. "....What? Scott, why would you kill yourself if Mitch needs you? I don't....wait....Scott, what do you think happened to Mitch?" A flurry of fiery tears sprung forth at those words. He was done with the mind games. He just wanted to end it all. Could he not have that one thing!? Dr. Ramirez scrambled to his feet and sped to the door. "I'll be back," he called as he raced out in record speed. Not even a minute later he barged through the door again. "There seems to have been some miscommunication. I don't know if it is because of the hit to your head but....he'll be able to get through to you." Scott was expecting to see his boyfriend again. He got Jonathan instead. And his manager looked pissed.

The shorter bespectacled man stomped over and snatched a chair to sit on. He dropped down into it unceremoniously. "Doc just told me you want to kill yourself? Because of Mitch? What the hell, Scott!?"

Scott glared at his friend. Did everyone think this was a game? They knew what Mitch meant to him. They should know that he would not feel whole without him. What was people's obsession with keeping someone alive who didn't want to be? He didn't care about anyone else's feelings after he died. He loved his family and friends. He did care for his boyfriend. But this was Mitch. He wasn't going to keep living for everyone else's benefit. The only thing he wanted was to be with Mitch. If they couldn't be together forever in life then at least they would be in death.

Like Jonathan was prone to do, he pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. That certain action was reserved for him and Mitch. It usually was his reaction to something they did. As was the joke, if something happened, it was almost certainly Scott's (and Mitch's) fault. He took a second to collect himself. After a few deep breaths, he had his eyes on Scott again. "I don't know how hard you hit your head but you be must hallucinating off those meds if you think you are going to kill yourself." He was straight to the point and very cold.

"Well you seem to not realize the depth of what is going on here. I am broken and it's all for not. Mitch is gone. Do you expect me to move on!?" He was heaving after his words. He fell back against the hospital bed, his chest aching. He was putting too much force on his ribs.

Jonathan narrowed his eyes on him for a second. "Scott, what the actual fuck are you talking about? Mitch is not dead." Jonathan was staring resolutely at him. There was no wavering in his features as if he was trying to hold face.

Scott's heart sped up at his manager's statement. Could it be....? "But the way y'all were acting when you knew I was looking for him? And what the doctor said about me being lucky....".

Jonathan sighed. He grabbed Scott's hand tight. He took a bit to compose himself. This time, he was more reserved and...pained. "Scott...the reason we didn't want to say anything is because of the coma....," he looked down again to keep himself from crying. "You....you woke up and you were screaming for Mitch. You were screaming yourself hoarse and....," he had to stop again as the tears came. He sniffled a bit. "You were crying, Scott. You were crying for him. And you didn't even know what happened. W-we we didn't realize that you would take our silence to mean....god....we would never do that to you. We know Mitch is everything to you.". He squeezed Scott's hand again as he tried to stop crying.

Scott stared at the fellow blue eyed man. There was nothing but pure sincerity. Scott didn't want to cry again. He had already hurt his voice relentlessly. "You promise?" His voice was so quiet and small.

Jonathan smiled at him. "Yeah...I promise."

Scott had to swallow the sob of happiness before speaking. "T-then where is Mitch?

Jonathan sighed. "He's down in the psych ward." Scott's stomach dropped. "He only suffered minor scrapes and bruises. You ended up taking the brunt of the fall, but Mitch got a mild concussion. When he came to....he was freaking out about you. We didn't want to tell him that you were in a coma. He's been begging to see you this whole time but the doctors over there have been watching him. That's where the others are. Mitch's parents, Jessa, Austin, Kelly, Luke, Maxwell, Mario, Jordan, Mary Catherine, Grant,....and Mitch's ex."

Just by the way he said it, Scott knew that Jonathan was apprehensive about the younger man going to see Mitch. Or rather....his reaction to that. He honestly wanted to puke. This wasn't happening right now. They were so close to being together again, but with the accident and Mitch's ex there....There was no way that Mitch wouldn't latch onto him. He was actually by Mitch's side. Unlike him. Mitch was already with the guy once. There's no stopping him from being with him again. God! Why!? Why was he always messing up. All he wanted was to be Mitch's.

"Hey, hey it's okay," Jonathan tried to reassure as he saw Scott curling in on him. "We've all been switching off with checking on you two. Mitch asks about you all the time with everyone. Austin even said he didn't want to talk to his ex at first." Jonathan knew about his insecurities with Mitch. He had been with the band since the beginning so had to deal with the ups and downs of their weird relationship.

"I just....", Scott looked down at his hands, "I worked so hard to show Mitch that he didn't need a guy to be happy and that I was there for him after the Travis situation. Then I almost lost him completely when his ex came into the picture. I....I can't deal with being away from him again. I love him, Jonathan," he cried as he looked up at the man who had kept his professional life together.

Jonathan stood up and wrapped him up in a bear hug. With his head tucked into Scott's neck, he whispered, "I know this is wrecking you. I promise. God, I do...that everything will work out the way it is supposed to. I want you to be happy. All of you."

Scott hadn't hugged Jonathan this tight in probably ever. The closest was maybe when Avi left the band. That still stung. He savored this moment. He didn't really get to have a heart to heart with anyone besides Mitch very often. "Thank you," he whispered back.

Jonathan pulled back, his eyes watery. "Anything else you need from me," he asked softly.

"Yeah....I want to see Mitch now."

—

Scott was so anxious to finally see his baby. It felt like he hadn't seen him in years! His parents had just left after keeping him company while he waited. He wished he could wash up and make himself more presentable but he was in a hospital bed. Getting dolled up wasn't on the schedule for a while. Before he could fall into despair again over the matter, Dr. Ramirez walked in. "You look more relaxed than any other time I've been in here. Your friends are bringing Mitch in. I just saw them getting off the elevator. I...wanted to apologize for my actions earlier. I know it was frustrating for you because you wanted answers. I should have been more direct with things. Your....manager....he was worried so cautioned us from triggering either of you. Except, everything fell by the wayside."

Scott shook his head. "I can't blame you. You were stuck between a rock and a hard place. Jonathan...he just has our best interests at heart. Sometimes things don't work out how he thinks when he makes decisions."

Dr. Ramirez nodded with an embarrassed smile. "Of course. I'll get out of here for now. I'll have the nurses check on you later." He walked out quietly. Not even a minute later, Jonathan popped his head in.

"We have acquired the precious package. Permission to drop off the delivery."

He heard Austin's distinctive groan. "Shut up, Kalter! Just open the door." He was annoyed. That boded well. That must mean Mitch was okay.

Jonathan glared over at Austin on the other side of the door. "I am trying to make this special." He looked back over at Scott. "Ready?"

Scott's heart tried to jump in his chest but simply stumbled thanks to the constriction on his chest. Were his hands sweating right now? He wiped his hands on his blankets. Maybe he should have had his mom spray him with some sort of cologne. He was a mess. "Scott?"

He got out of his head. "Uh...yeah...I'm ready." Jonathan looked at him for a second as if questioning him. He nodded. He heard Jonathan whisper something and then a few seconds later, the door was opened all the way. Standing in a drab hospital gown was the most beautiful creature known to man, his Mitch. Save for a few little bandages, he looked just as he did before the fall.

Mitch's eyes welled up at the sight of him. "Scotty," he cried. He didn't wait even a second to rush over to him. The slim brunette climbed up on the bed and situated himself on Scott's right side. He had obviously heard where the majority of his injuries were. He wasted no time in curling up against him and tucking his head into his neck. "Daddy, I have missed you," he whispered out.

Scott nuzzled his head into Mitch's hair. Past the stale hospital scent was Mitch's natural essence. He felt the animalistic rumble in his throat and chest. God! He had missed his home for far too long. He smiled at his two friends for bringing his love to him. They smiled back and Jonathan closed the door so they could be alone.

—

The two spent who knows how long just holding each other and crying. Scott was just so happy Mitch was okay. That time when he thought that Mitch was gone. It was the easily the darkest Scott has ever felt. Nothing could accurately put into words how happy he was that his baby was here with him. Even though he was so happy, there was something that was nagging in the back of his head. "Mitch?"

Mitch looked up from making figure eights on his collarbone. "Hmm?"

Scott took as deep a breath as he could. "I...heard that he came to see you?" He knew that he didn't need to elaborate. Mitch knew exactly who he was talking about. Only one person would make him act in such a way.

Mitch was quiet. He snuggled into him more. "...Yeah. He did. I didn't want him there. It felt wrong. That he only cared about how I was after I was hurt."

Scott rubbed his back gently as he stared behind Mitch's head. "But I thought you two were on good terms after the break up."

Mitch snorted. "Yeah like all ex-couples are. That pretend friend thing you do where you say you'll keep in touch but you really don't. And you just lose contact naturally."

The amount of relief inside Scott was immeasurable. "Oh. But he is still here."

Mitch nodded and rolled his eyes. "Yup. I told him that I have more than enough people here for me but he doesn't get it. I am not trying to go backwards here."

Right....backwards. That reminded him that they still had a looming issue over their heads. "Mmm....Mitch....what are we going to do?"

Mitch hugged him tighter. "I don't know, Scott."

Their privacy was not meant to last and they were now faced with their two managers. "Well....now that we finally have you both together, we need to know what happened Saturday morning," Jonathan said.

Esther nodded next to him. "Yeah...we have the media breathing down our necks on updates about you two? We really couldn't placate them much since we had no idea what lead to the accident. It was an accident, right?"

Scott had never felt more offended. Esther really wasn't implying what he thought she was. "Of course it was an accident. What the hell, Es!? And what are you talking about, what media?"

Jonathan and Esther were wide eyed at his question. "Scott, all the magazines and gossip sites are talking about it! You guys were on CNN," Jonathan shouted.

"WHAT," he and Mitch exclaimed together.

"W-w-we made the news! Why? How!?" Mitch was not handling this well. He could feel the panic was building inside the half Italian.

Esther sighed. "It was pretty crazy. I think TMZ picked it up initially. Got spread to Just Jared, E!, People, Hollywood Life, Pop Sugar, Daily Mail, Queerty, Pink News, Perez Hilton...then the local news got a hold of the story and then ended up on ABC through Good Morning America and Live with Kelly and Ryan. From there it catapulted to other talk shows like Wendy, Ellen, and The Real. Finally CNN got it by noon on Monday."

Scott stared at them, unable to speak. Wow....that was A LOT of publications. "We are considered important enough for all that?" Mitch asked for the both of them. He always wanted to be a famous singer. He never thought that their fame would be like this, though.

Jonathan sighed. "Well, you are the two most popular members of Pentatonix. Of course it would gain some attention. We just didn't realize how big it actually would get. They are reporting about this in Japan!"

Woah. That's wild. "S-so this is that big? We caused that?" Scott just couldn't believe that one moment had lead to them being front page news. He immediately looked over to Mitch. He saw the fear in his eyes. Mitch hated being scrutinized and people in his business. Well now everyone was in their business.

"Yes. Now tell us what happened that lead to you...well falling," Jonathan asked.

He and Mitch looked at each other apprehensively. There was no simple answer to this. They didn't want it this way. But now....they had no choice.