Can I just put it out there that Goingmuffin has the best comments I have ever seen like I find them so fucking hilarious

Percy pov

When we returned artemis directed our flash to the camp fire knowing since it was dark the girls would be there. When the flash of light went away the hunters stood there gaping at us. So I just had to say "honeys I'm home" as loud as I could that earned me giggles from every one of them including one from phoebe which I hardly expected but I could tell she was putting in an effort to be kind. I quickly let clare down from my arms and watched her run over to the younger group of hunters and started to chat away. I silently took adela from artemis's hands and to held her to my chest I then grabbed artemis's wrist and towed her over to an empty spot at the camp fire. We sat down artemis on my right with her head leaning on my shoulder,adela was nuzzled into my chest crunch up. Soon Atlanta came up to us I remembered her from one of my quests I took with the hunters. She slowly bent down and said "can I have the cutest kid in the world" I looked at her and smiled my mischievous grin and said "I am sorry artemis already has me but you will find someone" she looked at me with complete shock probably wasn't expecting me to sass her out but I did because I exceed expectations. That's when the laughter started artemis was first being as she was right beside me and then everyone else caught on to what was happening. Soon Atlanta shocked face turned into a sly smile and said "smooth percy smooth just give me the kid" I smiled again and passed adela's sleeping form over as soon as she had adela in her posetion walked off to a group of older girls who were cooing over her. That's when Artemis slid over on to my lap and brought her face to mine and said "well at least you got one thing right you are mine" I laughed and said "yes yes I am" and kissed her openly in front of everyone. It was a loving kiss it wasn't forced it was just needed it was a little intense for people who were watching partly because I grabbed her waist and her hands went to my hair but it didn't matter. When we pulled apart artemis probably realized before me that everyone was watching us so she shoved her head into the crook of my neck I held her close and said "well howdy there partners like what you see" and I pretended to tip my hat. They all quickly turned away letting the giggles flood through there groups . I slowly turned my head to where artemis was hiding i kissed her forhead and said "you can come out now no need to hide" she slowly leaned up to looking at me I smiled and said "hey" as soon as she heard me she got a mischievous grin on her face and said "straw" I busted out laughing and I said "I have trained you well young jedi" as I pulled her close to me she giggled. I leaned down and kissed her forhead and said "I love you artemis" she snuggled in even more so then she already was and said "I love you to percy" I smiled and sat at the camp fire for a little while watching adela be passed around the circle the older girls showing the younger ones how it is done and cooing over the little bundle of joy i could call my own but soon enough she woke up luckly thaila had her in her arms and started bouncing her and walking around the camp fire to make her calm down. Although thaila did try it wasn't working so I said "here thaila she is probably hungry" she looked at me with sad eyes and said "perce can I do it" I smiled and said "well if you really want to it is not that special" she slowly walked over to me and sat in the empty space beside me and artemis. Artemis was slightly awake but barley I think the baby woke her up a little because I felt her shift under my ferm hold on her waist. I brought my  hand up and snapped my fingers a bottle of luc warm milk appeared in my hand and I passed it off to thaila she held adela tight to her as she fed her. I brought my hand down and ran it through artemis's hair and kissed the top of her head that seemed to wake her up even more than the baby seemed to. The little touches and small kisses always make her shutter with happiness it is so cute. I leaned down to her ear and said "wanna got to bed soon it is getting late" she nodded and said "10 more minutes I am pretty comfortable" I chuckled and said "I can tell" after about 5 minutes adela was done her bottle of milk and was drifting off to sleep when Artemis brought her head up and said "I am gonna fall asleep if we stay out here any longer" I nodded as she turned to her hunters and said "ok girls let's get some rest" they didn't even groan or say can we stay up later they were probably just as tried as artemis though. That's when Artemis Stood up and me following her I leaned down to thaila and realized she was sleeping but keeping adela in the same position I carfully took adela out of her arms and said "phoebe I know I am not liked by you but would you mind taking adela to Artemis's tent" she looked at me and said "I can but why" I sighed and said " I am gonna carry thaila and artemis back to there tents" her eyes went a little wide and said "fine" and took adela from my arms carful not to drop her. I quickly pick thaila up in my arms and say "Artemis jump on my back but hang on tight" she did as I asked and I walked with thaila in my arms and artemis on my back to thaila's tent I quickly placed her on her cot and through the blanket over her and exited. As soon as I was out I turned artemis around so she had her legs wrapped around my back and was looking at me I smiled and said "hello arty how was your ride" she smiled back and said "well I have a great steed" I laughed and kissed her as I walked back to her tent. When I entered I seen phoebe sitting on artemis's bed so I oboiously had to joke around and say " you might not wanna sit there" she looked down and got a look of disgust on her face and said "really you've done the deed in here to nowhere to hide ugh" I let out a good laugh and said " no I just wanted to see you reaction but like I could always change that to a yes" her face went from relieved to anger and said "Artemis how do you deal with this horny demigod" Artemis giggled and said "well actually he wasn't the one who started it" Her faced morfed into total shock when I say this I quickly said "mind putting the baby down she may be a demigod but she is still breakable" Artemis giggled and made a crib appear phoebe quickly set adela down and said "I don't need to hear about your sex lives good bye" and started off to the door when she was out I walked over to the bed and laid artemis down her bringing me with her by kissing me obviously I couldn't brake away because I wanted to kiss her to but like I was kind of on top of her and phoebe walked back in again and yelled "YOU COULDN'T EVEN WAIT FIVE MINUTES" I pull away from artemis and start giggling like a school girl and said "what do you need phoebe we are very busy" she breaths out as if very annoyed that I didn't move from where I was but I didn't care " well I was going to ask if we were hunting tomorrow but I am going to take this little spat as a no and really percy that poor child's eyes" I stiffled a laugh and said "you can take care of her if you want while I get back to what I was doing" that's when I turned my head her mouth dropped and she looked like she was gonna burst I finally got up off artemis and said "no I am just shitin ya" her mouth closed but she still looked mad that's when Artemis came into the conversation and said "no we are not hunting tomorrow we are switching camp sites and percy do you really have to make those jokes" I nod very fast and say " yes yes I do I find it extremely funny especially the one with zeus" Artemis looked at me and giggled and said "touché" I looked back at phoebe who was standing there it utter confusion so I said "good night phoebe and maybe try knocking wait no lacy tried that did she not" I smiled as she ran out and looked back to Artemis she was looking up at me also I then asked "do you think apollo told them yet" she shook her head and said "no he is to chicken plus he is probably still pissed that my vow is put down the drain" I laughed and said "your welcome for that by the way" that earned me a play full smack on the chest but i leaned down and kissed her anyway my hands grasped her waist and when I laid down I brought her body on top of mine I wrapped my arms around her waist and kissed her softly on the lips when I released her from my lips she had a look on her face that seemed to be calculating if it was ok for her to proceed. Obviously I wanted her to be open about everything that was wrong so I said "arty what you thinking about" she sighed and pulled herself closer to me and said "I was just thinking about today" I knew that wasn't everything so I decided I would only pester a tad knowing she would break. "Artemis I know that's not the full story speak your mind" she gave me a wery glance and said "fine I was wondering who that man was in the pictures with you" I suddenly tensed at the mention of gabe but I relaxed trying not to freak her out but I said "that my friend was gabe" I let out a breath knowing she would want to hear more so I said "well he was the guy that beat the piss out of me everyday til I was 12 we also may or may not have turned him to stone" she looked absolutely horrified about what happend when I was younger but really that's anyone's reaction. That's when she leaned up to me and said "I am so sor-" but I cut her off before she could finish and said "well now that you know don't give me pity because I can't deal with it what's so ever" she nodded and dipped her head down to kiss me. The kiss started out as an innesent way of comfort but soon turned into a needing I knew deep down I wasn't taking this any further than a discarded shirts. As our tougnes battled for dominance I rolled over unlatching my arms from her Ieanded on my right forearm near her head so I wouldn't crush her but I kept my left hand on her waist as I started to loose the tougne battle that was happening. Soon she was exploring my mouth while playing with the hem of my shirt I could feel it start to rise as her cold hands traced my stomach. I knew what she wanted and i knew it was probably a bad idea someone would walk in for sure and also my baby was sleeping right beside us. So I slowly removed my lips from hers and said "Artemis you know we can't" she gave me a look saying try me I sighed and spoke again "Artemis you know I want you to but there are others in this camp to" she sighed and smushed her head back into the pillow realizing I was right and said "I thought I would be the one telling you no" I chuckled and laid down beside her and said "any other time maybe but right now our baby and the hunters are here and  that is not right but with that I am sleeping In my boxers because it is hot as hell" I slowly stood up trying not to be to loud and stripped everything except boxers and climbed back in. I could see artemis "blush" a little but after a few minutes the "blush" didn't go away that when I realized OH ya it is as hot as hell she is probably sweating  buckets especially cuddling with me. I leaned over to her ear and said "you know you can shed a few layer's" she nodded and sat up through he shirt a cross the room and snapping her fingers to change into jammie short shorts. i pull her in close to me with her back pressed up against my stomach I baried my head in her ponytail that was sweeped over her shoulder. I kissed her neck and said quick " good night artemis" and fell asleep.

Artemis pov

I woke up to hearing giggles knowing for sure that it would be the hunters I turned around facing percy and opened my eyes he was still asleep but his face was frowning. I slightly leaned my face in and kissed him on the lips and said "good morning baby" his eyes slowly opened when he realized I was waking him up to start the morning. He leaned into me pulling my waist towards him he said into my ear " we have an audience wanna give em a show" I giggled and nodded slightly as he flipped me over to i was straddling him I smashed my lips to his as he ran his hands down my body from shoulders to thighs that's when I heard one of them say "really guys" I pulled away from percy and let him speak as I crawled behind him blocking myself "hey hey hey you forgot to knock or yell" that's when lacy said "that doesn't work either" everyone laughed including me and percy. Thats when percy decided to throw me under the bus and say "hey if you want this to stop you gotta talk to Artemis she is the ring master" as soon as the words left his mouth I gave him a stunned look he just smiled at me as I turned back to my hunters some of them had disgusted looks on there faces others had stren faces thinking it was probably something you shouldn't just say allowed and others were on the ground laughing that included thaila who was trying to control her self while speaking " I Questioned  percy ........... about that ........and you were the one ..........who wanted-" and she didn't finish because she burst I to more fits laughter. But before they could even think of recovering I grabbed adela and percys hand and flashed out of my tent. I ended up flashing to percys house I was so embarrassed about what happend I know he ment it as a joke but it was mortifying so I had to escape. That's when i felt his warm embraced wrap round me and say "Artemis I am so sorry I let my mouth run way to much I will tone it down" I looked back at him and said " it is ok it could be a lot worse" that's whe I looked down and realized I never got dressed and adela was still sleeping. I stood up and nodded down to adela he understood and followed me up stairs I walked into her room and laid her down In her crib and tucked her into a blanket because of the cool house. I turned around and scappered out of the room closing the door behind me. When I entered our room I seen percy laying in the middle of the bed looking a the ceiling in boredom I slowly started to crawl up the bed towards him. When I reached him I was straddling his waist he looked up at me and said "well hello there arty" I smirked and said "hello yourself" and leaned down and kissed him he amedially responed with by pulling her in he kissed her softly not rushed it was all love he let the love flow freely between us I pulled away and said "well is this a better spot"  he smiled and said "what do you think ring master" I scowled at the nickname but nodded my head in a yes to my question and pressed my lips to his. He took the lead being a little rougher than the first time but then again percy most likely knows what he is doing. Soon i felt percys hands drift down to the waist band of my shorts and start to slide them down I didn't put in any effort to stop him being as I have been wanting him for the last couple days. When my shorts were off he whipped them across the room and he started kissing down my neck finding a sensitive spot instantly and leaving love bites and small hicky that can be covered by my long Auburn hair. Now percy might be a kelp head but sometimes the things he says and does really blow me away. I let out small and moans as he continued to flipped me over and started kissing down my chest,down the sides of my breasts and down my stomach as his hands gently slid up and down my thighs. That's when he brought his hands behind my back and unclipped my bra strap gracefully as if it was the easiest thing in the world and slipped it off. It also got chucked across the room as he put his hands on my breasts and started to rubbed them as I gasped and moaned emensly I love percy so much and he made me feel so good. Then his hands fell away as he and I both reached for the only articles of clothing separating us and dragged them down eachother legs. Before we could go any further percy grabbed the oddly flavored condoms and like last time rolled it on he leaned over me and kissed me on lips and said "I know your answer already but just to make sure is this what you want" I nodded my head furisly as he started to position himself over my spread legs. He slowly plunged into me as I let out a small whimper that turned into complete pleasure. He thrust into me seeing as I was the opposite and my back began to arch as I let out moan after moan. They became more hushed when percy pressed his lips to mine and stopped pushing into me for a couple seconds I looked up at him questioning what was wrong when he said "we gotta keep it quite waking up a baby is no fun for anyone" I nodded knowing what he was saying and i said " well how am I supposed to do that" he shrugged and said "let's try this" he pressed his lips to mine as my hands tangled into his hair and continued to plug into me my moans soon began but we're muffled by his intense kissing. That's when i was starting to shake percy was hilt deep in me I wrapped my legs around his waist and made him go farther it felt so good. My whole body began to spazam in slight shakes with long and deep moans coming out of my mouth  soon his name sprouted from my lips and that turned him on a little more because he started kissing the sweet spot on my neck and his hands massaging my breasts and bucked his hips into me this made me scream his name as my legs started to clinch and my walls gained more pressure I released onto him letting all my cares in the world leave me a minute later he let out a groan and let out his load into the condom. He started to pull out of me when i let out i moan he took the condom off and through it in the trash he laid down with me laying on top of him. I leaned up and slipped him into me I let out a small moan and leaned back down to his chest with him still in me. His eyes flashed open and bugged eyed and started to speak " Artemis what are you doing that's not safe" I looked down at him and said " please just stay where you are this feels nice" he sighed and said "ok what ever you say ring master" he new I hated
the nickname but he smiled knowing it would annoy me . To get him back I bounced my hips a little as he let out a groan I smiled back at him and said "don't call me that" he nodded and closed his yes as he wrapped his arms around me and let me fall asleep in his arms.

///////a couple hours later////////
Percy pov

I just woke up from one of the best naps/sleeps of my life my eyes stay closed until I felt the pressure on me and below my belt I seen artemis still sleeping and I relized oh fuck probably shouldn't have let her do that I slowly pulled out of her making her groan on top of me as I felt her shift around I sat up slightly and brought artemis up with me I pulled her into my side and kissed her on the shoulder and said "waky waky sweetie" she opened her eyes and said "why" with a groan I leaned over and said "1) we have been here for hours with out notifying your hunters and 2) we should get dressed and feed adela" she sighed and said "fine but thank you for this morning" I kissed her "you don't have to say thank you,you did the same for me now let's get cleaned up and get adela" she nodded and started to roll out of the bed as did I but the opposite side. She got up in a swift movement with a sheet around her and walked to the wash room I followed her with a shower towel that was hanging on the door and put it around my waist I slipped my hands around her waist and said " shower or tub" she turned around and gave me a meaning full look of what not knowing which one she should choose so I stepped in and said "how about you have a relaxing bath while I shower and when I am done I will sit with you deal" she shook my hand and said "deal" I unlached my arms from artemis and turned the bath tub water on and sped it up and heated it it took about 2 minutes to fill to the top and I said "come here arty" she walked over from sitting on the counter and unraveled the towel from her self and stepped in and sunk til her shoulders were submerged into the steamy water I turned around and said " I will be in the shower yell if you need me" she nodded her head and went back to relaxing as I hooped into the shower and put it on extremely hot as I finished up I grabbed my towel and will the water to shut of and dry me I wrapped the towel around my waist and walked over to the side of the tub artemis seemed to be enjoying her relaxation so went and changed and came back with black basketball shorts on that cut off right above the knee and a white tight fitted shirt. I kneeled beside Artemis who had her eyes closed I kissed her on the cheek and said "enjoying your self huh" she smiled and said "quite honestly I would rather you with me but yes in fact I am" I snickered and said "well it is nice to know my presents is wanted" I put my hand up and ran it through her hair "would you like me to get you some music" I said "and feed adela while you have 'arty time'" she nodded and I said "I will be back" as I stood up and walked to my bed side table where my speaker and ipod were I quickly connected them and started the music and set it on the counter and put the ipod beside Artemis and said "if you drop it I am son of poseiden I will just take the water out of it" she smiled and shook her head as I walked out and shut the door. I walked to our bed room door not relizing artemis had locked the door but then again she was smart so I unlocked the door but shut it so if someone were to come they wouldn't go in and I crossed the hall to adela's room. She was awake and in a sitting position playing with a stuffy and had a soother in her mouth with a blanket wrapped around her when she seen me she visably smiled and put her arms out. I quickly took out my monster proof phone and snapped a picture of her and made my way over to the side of the crib smiling as I picked her up and sat down in the chair in corner of the room and made a bottle of milk appear and started feeding her but real she was trying to do it her self she was grabbing at the bottle as I kept it at the right height so there were no air bubbles. A couple minutes later adela finished her bottle and I was just sitting the with her lying on my chest when I heard a thump and a yelp of pain I got up quickly running to my room with adela in my arms I set her down in the middle of the Queen sized bed. I quickly ran over to the bathroom door and swung it open I soon seen artemis resting up against the side of the bath tub on the tile floor wrapped in a towel she was holding her wrist and had tears falling down her face I scooped her up and brought her to our bed room and sat down with her on my lap I snuggled her into me and said "baby are you ok what happend" she sniffles and cuddled into me more holding her wrist and said "well you know when you have music on and you dance and sing well that but if you add slipping then it makes it all worth while" she said with a tiny giggle I looked at her and started to laugh and said "well at least your in good humor now how about we get you fixed up, dressed and go back to the hunters" she nodded and I stood up and sat her down I walked over to my night stand draw and found a flask of nectar and a couple packs of ambrosia. I handed her the flask and she just smiled and shook her head and opened it like she has been doing it all he life and took a swig. Instantly you could see she was feeling better but I handed her a square or ambrosia and she ate it. Then I looked at her wrist and said " I will be right back you hold tight" I ran down stairs and called apon hestia she appeared with a flash and said "hello percy what do you need" I gave a small smile and said "can you steal one of those wrist braces from apollo please the less you know the better since he can tell your lieing" she nodded and a moments the was a wrist braces sitting in her hand she past it off to me as I gave her a hug and said "thank you so much" and with that she was gone I ran back up stairs and walked into the room and said "Okey dokey here you are artemis it should help with the wrist" she glanced at it and then smiled arty and kissed me on the cheek and whispered "you know your are the best boyfriend ever right" I smiled and said "well thank you for noticing" she smack me with her good hand while I helped her put the broken one in the brace and strap it on. Then it was time to get her dressed I know she could snap her fingers and there done but that takes away from the energy it takes to heal. So I walked to the dresser and pulled out a pair active wear shorts,her undergarments and a t-shirt that said "Apollo is a dingbat" I thought the shirt was quite hilarious and through everything on the bed and proceed to help her since she had one hand since the other was in the brace. When she seen the shirt of hers I grabbed she thought it was hilarious to the heat I pick that shirt and when she was dressed and I had adela on my hip and artemis holding my hand I flashed us out.

Artemis pov

I am a fucking Greek God and I can't even stop my self from slipping in the bath tub but then again percy is taking care of me so it won't be that bad but telling the girls oh that will be horrifing they probably think I am I am a horny little slut just like the men we are supposed to hate. So I took a deep breath as percy flashed us out of our home to my hunters. When we arrived I didn't seen many of them but that's when the 3 head girls came up phoebe,thaila and Atlanta they all smiled at us and then seen my wrist there smiles soon vanished and turned into frowns and glares that's when percy piped up and said "thanks for assuming I hurt her do you really think I would still be standing if I did and to answer my question no I wouldn't be" they all looked dumbfounded but they knew he wasn't lying that's when phoebe said "then what did happen" I looked down sheepishly and said "4 words bathtub,music,and slipping" the girls giggled and said "lady artemis will you be ok" i gave them a nod as I walked away to the camp fire to relax the rest of the day away.