Edit/comment mistakes please xxx

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A week had gone by since I had seen Zaid. He hadn't been messaging me at all except for three days ago when he asked me the date the kids were starting school.

Life went on as normal and every night I would try to open up a conversation about dad's. Not about their dad of course, but I would ask them questions like what they like about my dad rather than saying grandpa.

Yesterday I asked them if they liked Fayza's mum or dad better to which Hafsa answered 'Her baba because her mummy doesn't let us go into the backyard to play.'

My aunty had a garden that she took care of as if it was a child and whenever my children were let out into her garden, they would somehow always manage to end up in her veggie patch.

Neither of them understood what I was trying to do, but slowly but surely, the word 'baba' was becoming more commonly used around them.

I left the bedroom after putting the kids to sleep and sat next to my mum on the couch.

"They're asleep." She assumed and I nodded my head.

"Mum..."

"What?" She said as she turned to look at me.

"I want to ask you a question, but if you don't want to answer, please don't." I mumbled, knowing that the air around us was going to become tense soon.

"Why did you and Baba divorce? I mean, all these years and I still don't know the reason."

I took a glance at her and realized that her body has stiffened slightly. She looked sort of uncomfortable but not uncomfortable enough for me to have to apologize for asking such a question.

"It isn't right for me to be talking about this when he has already moved on, love." She said with a sigh as she crossed her arms over her shoulders and looked back at the TV.

"I know. Just very briefly, mum. One sentence. I just need the reason as like closure. Please."

She glanced at me this time and exhaled through her nose, swallowing a lump in her throat and licked her lips. "Every marriage has its arguments. Little fights here and there. They're like salt and pepper in the marriage. However once you were married, then both of us were left alone with each other plenty. I guess the two of us just started having more arguments than other couples did. Every little thing began to annoy the other and eventually the whole marriage was doing more harm than good to the both of us. Ya3ni, it was nothing major sweetheart. There was no underlying factor. It was just a build up of things."

I smiled at her warmly and tried to hold back the tears. No doubt my life would have been so much easier had my parents not gotten divorced, but this was Allah's decree and if this is how He willed our lives to be, then I had trust in His plans that this was best for me and my akhira. Alhamdulillah.

"Thank you, mum." I said softly and she smiled, nodding her head before throwing her arm over my shoulder to give me a small hug.

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"I finished, mummy!" Hafsa said as she put her plastic fork down on the table of her high chair.

I released a fake gasp and smiled widely at her. "Well done, baby!" I said. "High five mummy."

She laughed as I held out my palm and pressed her little hand against mine in excitement. "Can I have my dessert now?" She asked me and I smiled. "Of course, you can." I said, getting off my seat and walking to the fridge to take out the jelly cup I had made earlier. After getting a spoon, I walked back to the table and sat down, handing it to her.

Hamza's plate still had his vegetables and rice on it, only half eaten.

Justin must've noticed he was taking long as well as he spoke up. "What's taking you so long today, buddy?" He asked.

Hamza put his fork down and leaned back in his high chair, a pout on his lips. "I'm not feeling too good." He said softly making me furrow my eyebrows.

"What's wrong, baby?" I asked him softly as I got off my seat and put my hand on his forehead, not feeling any abnormal heat.

I saw his lip begin to quiver and it made my heart break.

"Hamza..." I trailed off, turning his high chair away from the table so he was facing me.

Justin obviously saw the panic in my eyes as he told me to stop. "I'm sure there's nothing wrong. Hamza? Are you sleepy, buddy? You want to get some sleep?" He asked with a smile as he ran his fingers through Hamza's hair as Hamza nodded.

"I think he should eat. He's probably still hungry." Jessica commented from her seat, not looking my way.

"I don't think he's in the mood to eat." My dad said in response and right as I had took him out of his high chair, wetness seeped through my shirt as he began vomiting.

Panic rose within me as he hadn't vommitted at all in over a year.

"Woah..." Justin said as he stepped away and shook his hand, ridding of the little bit that had touched him. "Come on, we're going hospital." He said quickly, running out of the dining room and up to his room to get his car keys and jacket I assumed.

After taking a bucket with me and wrapping Hamza in a blanket, I went to the car and sat in the back as my dad took seat shotgun.

Tears were now running down my eyes as I looked at Hamza who was breathing heavily his abnormally pale face stained with tears even though he was now drifting in and out of sleep.

Eventually we arrived at the hospital and as soon as we walked into the emergency room, a doctor was taking Hamza out of my arms and carrying him to the back as we followed him.

"We'll have to run some tests. You're going to have to wait here for a while. You can fill out his patient form while you wait." A nurse said, stopping us from entering another set of doors while holding out a clipboard.

I sat in a chair and held my head in my hands, hearing Justin scribble away at the papers as he filled them out and my dad tried coaxing me into calming down, rubbing my back and telling me everything was going to be okay.

"Call Jessica." I said, my voice raspy. "Ask her what he ate."

"My mum has been looking after them for the past year, you think she'd do something to him!?" Justin said, his voice rising in the small and extremely quiet room. Thank god it was empty. "She may not like you Sumayya but she has nothing against your kids."

"So they're my kids now, huh? What happened to the kids? Or their names?" I asked him, narrowing my brows.

"Both of you, cut it out. This is not the time, nor place." My dad said through his teeth.

"Can't believe you actually think I'm accusing her of something like that." I said, my voice dejected as I looked back at my dad. "Can you ask her what he ate? Maybe he's got an allergy to something." I said with more clarification. How the hell would Justin think I was accusing his mum of something as horrid as that when she had been looking after my kids every single day almost for the past couple of years? As much as she disliked me, I liked her. I never understood why she didn't like me, but I would never be able to dislike her as I saw how much love she had for my children.

He nodded and took his phone out of his pocket. "Give me that." I said, trying to take the clipboard from him even though he wasn't letting go. "I can fill out my child's form."

"You know that's not how I meant it." He said, pulling the clipboard away.

"Yeah, but surprisingly you thought I meant what I said in the wrong way." I muttered as I sighed and took out my phone to see a message from Zaid.

Is everything okay?

I have a weird feeling.

I widened my eyes as I read over the messages. How did that happen? Was that even possible?

He hadn't messaged me for days and then as soon as we're at the hospital he sends me this.

"Baba." I said as I stood up and walked to my dad who had just hung up the phone. I showed him the screen and he didn't look shocked at all.

"It can happen." He shrugged carelessly before turning away and sitting down.

"Well? Should I call him here?"

At that both Justin's and my dad's heads turned to me, their eyebrows narrowed.

"Absolutely not." Justin said while my dad again shrugged.

"Justin. She can decide for herself what she thinks is best."

Justin stared at the side of my dad's head in shock as if he couldn't believe he would actually allow me to call Zaid here and then he got up, told us to call him as soon as we got notified about Hamza and left.

I sat next to my dad and started to type up a message.

'Hamza started vomiting so we brought him to the hospital'

I didn't even have time to lock my phone before  it began vibrating in my hand.

I bit my lip and swallowed the growing lump in my throat as I looked at his name flashing across the screen. I stood up and went down the hall so that my dad wouldn't hear the conversation and answered the phone, not being able to say a word as his concerned and urgent voice asked what was wrong with Hamza.

"What's wrong with him?!" He replied once again even louder once I didn't answer him the first time.

"I'm not sure. They're running tests."

"What happened to him though!?" He said, sounding frustrated with my vague answer.

"He said he wasn't feeling well at dinner and then he threw up so we brought him here."

"Which hospital?" He asked quickly.

I scoffed. "No, Zaid."

"Sumay..." He began, but I cut him off quickly.

"I said no. He's sick, he doesn't need you to be around right now."

"Sumayya, I want to be there for my son."

His son.

I scoffed and turned around to look at my dad who was already staring at my tense form, clearly knowing who I was talking to.

He gave me a slight nod of approval, silently telling me, without even certainly knowing what was going on, that he'd be okay with my decision if I chose to allow Zaid to come.

"You're not going to speak a word to him. He's not going to see you."

"Okay," He answered urgently as if he thought I'd change my mind. "Yes, yes. Whatever. Just let me be there."

I exhaled deeply and told him which hospital we were at before hanging up and rushing to my dad who had already stood and opened his arms to embrace me.

"Shhh," He whispered as he kissed the top of my hijab. "You're okay, habibti. You're the strongest woman I know. Don't let the stress get to you." He said softly.

"It's hard not to." I said softly, wrapping my arms tighter around his torso.

"I know. I know, love. Have tawakkul. If Allah (swt) hadn't willed, Zaid would have never even been able to show up."

Was he insinuating that he'd be dead?

I nodded my head against his chest anyway and stepped away, sitting in the seat beside him as he kept his arm around my shoulder.

It felt like hours had passed when an announcement was heard.

"Security to the emergency entrance please, security to emergency entrance."

A couple of guards ran passed me and my dad and I looked up as I heard a fairly familiar voice.

Clearly my dad heard it too as he shot up and ran after the guards with me following behind. When we got to the lobby area I saw a male nurse try to keep apart Justin and Zaid until the male guards took ahold of them both and pulled them away from each other effortlessly.

Zaid now had a new cut on his lip but Justin was clean of any bruising meaning that either Justin had thrown the first punch, or Zaid had tried to but failed. After all, Justin was more built than Zaid.

"What's going on?" My dad said through clenched teeth as he looked at Justin who was breathing in and out heavily.

"What's he doing here Abdullah!?" Justin said, gesturing his head towards Zaid without casting so much of a glance his way, much like my dad who seemed to be completely ignoring the fact that his ex-son in law was standing right beside him.

"I thought you went home Justin." I mumbled as both of them shrugged off the security guards and slowly people began moving back away to their normal duties.

"You thought I went home so you called him?" He scoffed. "Who is he, Sumayya!? He hasn't been around all these years, what right does he have to be here now?"

"She's my wife!" Zaid said through his teeth as he wiped the trail of blood sliding down his chin with the back of his hand.

Only now, everyone who was ignoring Zaid turned to look at him, even my dad in his rigid state. "I am not your wife." I spoke out clearly, staring into his eyes with my own narrowed into slits.

"Baba. Come on." I said and my dad exhaled, his shoulders relaxing as both he and Justin followed closely behind me back to the waiting room. I assumed Zaid was also following behind as well.

"Justin, Sumayya is a grown woman. She can make her own decisions." My dad said softly to Justin.

"Well I don't think he deserves to be with Hamza right now after he's been gone all those years, okay?"

"And who were you again?" Zaid scoffed making me even more angry than I was.

I stopped once we had reached the waiting room and turned to look at him dead in the eyes. "Don't. You. Dare. Zaid." I said each world loud and clear, pointing a finger at him. I guess that was just my mum self coming through.

"Don't you dare question my family like that. Don't make me regret letting you come here, wallah you won't see me or the kids again." I spat, walking to the other end of the room and sitting down as Justin and my dad followed and sat down on either side of me. I also didn't miss Justin telling Zaid to watch his mouth before he lost his patience again meaning he was indeed the one who had thrown the first punch.

I had my arms crossed against my chest as I tapped my foot in frustration. Minutes had passed and instead of thinking about what Hamza might have been going through right now all on his own, I was stuck here in my thoughts being angry at Zaid.

I walked up to the door and pressed the nurse button, hearing the door buzz and slide open as a nurse raised her eyebrows at me, a clipboard in her hand.

"Sorry, I just wanted to check up on my son. He's only three. Is he okay in there without me?" I asked and she smiled at me pulling me to the side a little to point at a bed where Hamza was laid sleeping peacefully, the bedrails up to secure him and an IV in his little hand which made tears flow from my eyes.

"The doctor will be out shortly with his results, ma'am. As for your son. He seems to be a favourite amongst the nurses so I'm not sure he'll be out anytime soon." She joked making me chuckle lightly and sniffle as I wiped my cheeks and thanked her.

"She said the doctor would be out soon with his results, alhamdulillah." I told my dad and Justin and they both nodded as I walked up and down the waiting room.

It seemed like hours before the door buzzed and the doctor came out, his face stoic.

Bismillah.

"Hamza's family?" He asked and we all nodded quickly as Zaid stood up and lingered a few feet behind us, listening intently.

"Well, I'd like to inform you that it is nothing too serious." He began as he held his clipboard and turned the page over.

"Too serious?" I questioned, my voice cracking as I looked up at him through teary eyes.

"Well, we did find a stone in his stomach which should come out through the natural cause of digestion, however he does have a stomach infection because of it and until it is cleared with the prescribed antibiotics, unfortunately he will feel ill constantly and probably keep throwing up."

"Isn't he a bit too young for that? Is there no medication to stop the vomiting?" My dad asked.

"Yes, he's young for such an infection. However it is through the vomiting that he will rid of the infection. I've written vitamins and hopefully they should prevent him from becoming too weak through the healing process. You should try to feed him stale foods like steamed vegetables, specifically potatoes and bread when he's feeling nauseous. If he's not as nauseous then I'd stick to vegetable soup just so stomach isn't triggered too much by heavy foods." He advised. He ripped off a paper from the clipboard and handed it to me before taking the prescription and giving it to me too.

"Sign this over on that desk and the receptionist should handle the rest. The prescriptions you can get from any pharmacy." He said. "All the best."

He smiled at me and the others and I thanked him as he walked back in. I went to the reception desk and showed the lady the paper to which she showed me where to sign.

"Gwandpa!!" I heard a voice yell and I smiled as I turned around, seeing Hamza reaching for my dad from the arms of the nurse from earlier. My dad smiled widely and took him happily into his arms, hugging him tightly. I glanced at Zaid as I saw him stand up off his seat and smile at Hamza through tear stained cheeks, his shoulders limp and his stance seeming weakened.

I signed the last bit of the paper before handing it to the lady and rushing to Hamza.

"Mummy!!" He shouted, his eyes widening in joy as he saw me. "Mummy!" He shouted again and I extended my arms taking him from my dad and hugging the life out of him as he wrapped his little arms around my neck.

"My baby." I said, tears coming out of my eyes. "You scared me so much, Hamza." I whispered, swaying him side to side as he nuzzled into my neck. 

Zaid's p.o.v

I watched as Sumayya signed the papers at the desk. Her stepbrother and dad seated on seats across the door where the doctor had exited from moments ago.

Alhamdulillah it was nothing too serious and InshaaAllah my son would recover in a couple of weeks. I'm sure he was the strongest little boy and no doubt he'd get through this infection soon.

The door buzzed and I held my breath as I looked with wide eyes as a nurse walked out, the gorgeous little boy in her arms, looking tired and frightened.

His frightened stance didn't last long as his eyes met with Baba's. They lit up in recognition and comfort eased his body well tears pooled at my eyes. "Gwandpa!" He yelled, holding his tiny little arms out towards Baba who gladly took him and hugged him tightly, whispering to him as he kissed his head.

"Hey, buddy!" The stepbrother said with a wide grin as he scruffed up Hamza's hair. "You scared me so much." He added as he leaned over and kissed his head before tapping his cheek. Hamza laughed and leaned over, kissing him back and it would be a complete lie if I said their little interaction hadn't made me jealous to my core.

"Uncle Justin, I'm a stwong boy. Look, they gave me sticker too!" He said with wide eyes as he held out his hand showing a little red sticker on top of the bandage which was no doubt covering a needle spot. I felt tears flow over my cheeks and they only increased once Hamza saw Sumayya. His face went bright and his mouth opened agape and he called for her with open arms.

She took him warmly and hugged him so tight, swaying him side to side and kissing him tens of times all the while she spoke to him, words that I couldn't comprehend as I was stuck in the absolute beautiful moment happening in front of my eyes. My wife and my son.

Yet, I was a mere stranger watching from a distance when I should've been right next to them.

Only it wasn't me.

"I love you so much, baby." She said, holding his cheek in her hand as she placed a kiss on his forehead.

"I love you more mummy." He said, smiling back at her with a toothy grin, dimples showing on his cheek that he had clearly inherited from her.

Alhamdulillah.

I sniffled slightly and wiped my cheeks with a cough, making Hamza look directly at me with eyes that matched my own.

My baby. My son.

He was beautiful. Amazing in every way and I couldn't wait for the day I'd hear him say Baba to me and run into my arms.

"Mummy? Is he the..."

Only Hamza's words were cut off by the stepbrother who stepped in between me and Hamza.

"Come here, buddy." He said to Hamza and much to my dismay, Hamza happily leaned over and went into his arms, his own little arms going around stepbrother's neck as he rested his head on his chest, all thoughts of me seeming to have been erased instantly.

Yep. Definitely jealous.

I watched as Baba and Sumayya packed up the bags they had obviously brought here and then the four of them began walking out of the emergency room, leaving me a mess in my own self pity and destruction.

I should've been the one holding my son like that, not stepbrother.

That was my duty. I belonged next to my children and my wife. Yet here I was, standing in the emergency room and feeling like a stranger to my own family.

Ya Allah, help ease my pain. Ease my pain, O Allah.

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