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After putting the kids to sleep, I got out of bed and did istikhara prayer.

I prayed to Allah that the decision I had made would be the best decision for both me and my kids and everyone else and that He would be with me and make my choice easy.

"Ya Allah, only allow me to go through with this decision if it is the best decision for my dunya and my akhira." I cried softly, falling into prostration and thanking Him.

"Don't make me of the ungrateful servants, Ya Allah. Don't make me forget You in my good days as I need You in my bad days. Test me until I am a beloved servant, ya Rabb. Take my soul when You are pleased with me. Do not let me go astray, keep me on the true path until the day I die."

After finishing my praying I sat in my position and kept my head in my hands trying to calm the racing of my heart.

I dried my cheeks and exhaled, getting up and folding my sajjada, placing it on the dresser before cleansing my face and changing into pyjamas and getting into bed with my babies. They stirred as the bed dipped while I got into it but didn't wake up.

I looked at them in the light of the lamp, watching them sleep with a smile on my face. They were beautiful and as always, I never knew how I could ever be ungrateful to my Lord for anything as I had everything I needed in this world with them next to me.

Eventually I fell asleep feeling at ease after having explained my troubles to the One who always listens.

Alhamdulillah.

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I rolled over, stopping my alarm and stretching in the bed before slowly getting up and washing my face as I got ready for work.

After having breakfast, I left the house and drove to work. Before I knew it, my shift was over seeing as though I had asked to leave an hour early which Bella allowed me to do.

I walked to my car, taking out my phone and looking at his number in my call log.

I stared at it and licked my lips, wondering whether or not it was the best decision to be making.

I had prayed istikhara, but hadn't seen a dream or anything that I could equate to knowing I had made the right choice.

It wasn't like istikhara meant you would see a dream. Istikhara was just asking Allah for guidance and putting your trust in Him for a decision.

I had put my trust in Him and so I decided to go one with my decision. In the end, if He didn't will it to happen, nothing would come out of this.

I took a deep breath and clutched the steering wheel tightly as I pressed the number and took the phone to my ear.

It only took a mere two rings before he answered, breathing out my name in question as if he didn't know whether or not to believe it was actually me.

"Yeah. As salamu alaykum." I said slowly, shaking my head as I instantly regretted my choice of calling him.

I should've just waited for him to call me again.

"Wa alaykum Salam..." He trailed off.

"I..." I cleared my throat. "I don't know...uh, I don't know why I called you really..." I took a deep breath. Really? Of course you knew why you called him, Sumayya. "I mean, if you want to meet up I can tell you about Hamza and Hafsa."

He stayed silent. "Really?" He exhaled.

"I have a free hour." I spoke. "I'll be at Slices Restaurant near the lake." I spoke with a sigh before ending the call and making the short journey there.

I sat on an outdoor table so it would be easy for him to find me and after ordering a white chocolate mocha, I leaned back in the chair, swiping through my photos and wandering if I should show him them or not.

"Sumi." My heartbeat increased rapidly at his velvety voice when he said my name, making me lock my phone quickly and place it in front of me.

"Yeah, hi." I said, clearing my throat, avoiding his gaze.

He sat down as the waiter came and placed my coffee down. "Here you are, ma'am."

Pulling the mug more towards me, I smiled at him. "Thank you."

"Anything for you?" He asked, looking at Zaid who had a stone cold look on his face as he simply shook his head.

Zaid's p.o.v

(A/N: don't get used to this lol I just felt this chapter needed his point of view so we could see his reaction properly :) enjoy)

Rubbing my temples, I stared down at the piece of paper filled with a report of the latest stocks, not being able to focus on a single word of it.

For the past weeks, the only things constantly on my mind were Sumayya and...my kids.

My kids.

A smile took over my face at just the mere thought of them and I sighed, leaning back in my chair and swivelling to face outside the window.

I couldn't stop thinking about them.

Hamza and Hafsa. Twins. Beautiful names. No doubt they were beautiful children.

I wondered if they had any features from me. I remember Hamza's eyes clearly. He had my eyes. He was beautiful. Allahumma barik lahu.

I wondered what they liked disliked, their habits, their favourite toys, the way they spoke, what their favourite foods were....what did they look like?

What did they think about me?

Did they have any thoughts about me?

They were only three, turning four, but at that age, children were extremely curious.

Did they ask Sumi where I was?

I exhaled, puffing my cheeks out as I ran my hands through my hair and over my face in frustration.

I wanted to meet them, but I feared Sumayya would push me away if I pushed her too much.

In a way she had every right to, but she also didn't.

They were my kids just as much as they were hers even if I wasn't there with them.

That's what I thought anyway.

My phone rang behind me on my desk and I breathed out a sigh, turning around, my eyes widening at the name on the screen. It only rang twice before I quickly picked up, answering before she had a chance to possibly change her mind and end the call, or worse, block my number. "Sumayya?" I breathed, not knowing whether my mind was playing tricks on me.

After hearing her soft breaths on the other end, I knew it was her, even her breathing spread comfort throughout my body and my tense muscles relaxed as she spoke.

"Yeah. As salamu alaykum."

Her voice was low and soft.

"Wa alaykum Salam..." I replied slowly, curiosity swirling within me about why she had called as I prayed that it wasn't to tell me to leave her alone from now on.

Hell, even if she told me that, there was absolutely no way I would leave. If not for her, then for my kids. I had already missed three years of their lives and I wasn't going to be losing any more, InshaAllah.

"I..." She paused, clearing her throat before stammering into the phone. "I don't know...uh, I don't know why I called you really..." She inhaled and exhaled loudly, making my heart beat in my chest in anticipation as I waited for her reason for calling me. "I mean, if you want to meet up I can tell you about Hamza and Hafsa."

My eyes shut on their own accord and I leaned back in my chair, my shoulders slumping as relief spread through me. Please, please, please don't be lying to me, Sumi.

"Really?" I asked, exhaling, hoping that she wouldn't go back on her word.

"I have a free hour." She said simply. "I'll be at Slices Restaurant near the lake." She ended the call and I looked at my phone screen, my eyes wide as I shot out of my seat and grabbed my jacket, running down the stairs and leaving the house, ignoring my mum's calls for me as I got into my car and sped to the restaurant.

She had a free hour and I needed every single minute.

I had so many questions that needed to be answered for the sake of my own sanity.

Maybe I should have written down all the questions I had about the kids.

I hoped she would show me a photo of them. I knew what Hamza looked like but I was dying to know how beautiful my daughter was.

I didn't even realise that I had arrived at the lake so quickly as I was so caught up in my thoughts. I parked the car and saw her sitting at a two seater round table, her phone in her hands as she swiped the screen, a small, barely-there smile on her face, her eyebrows furrowed in the slightest, but cutest way.

I sighed, my eyes trained on her. She was so beautiful.

I don't know how Allah had blessed me with a woman like her and I had absolutely no idea what I had done to deserve her.

I knew it was going to take some time, but no matter what happens I need to make her forgive me. I need to win her back.

My biggest fear in the past four years wasn't even death. Even during my lowest points with the battle I had against cancer, my biggest fear was always picturing her with someone else.

It killed me. I would torture myself every single day with thoughts of her marrying another man, in his arms.

I gripped the steering wheel tightly.

No matter how much it had hurt me, I knew I couldn't be selfish. She deserved to be happy and I didn't want to be the one in the way of her happiness.

Even when she had sent me the divorce papers all signed and ready to go, I couldn't hand them in.

Clearly, she had thought we were divorced. What would her reaction be when I told her we weren't? Would she be happy? Angry?

Lord knows I didn't have the courage to say it to her until her heart started to soften towards me.

I let her go for her sake, but I never ever had the courage nor strength to give in those damn papers. If I was going to die. I wanted to die being married to her in hopes of being reunited in Jannah.

If she hadn't found someone in the past four years, then there was no way I would let her find someone now.

I was the father of my children and she was the mother. We belonged to each other, with each other and I would not let anyone else get in between us.

We were a family...we were just starting a little late.

Still, a family nonetheless.

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Ahhhhh I couldn't leave you guys with just one chapter after being gone for months! Hahaha!

As salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu. ❤