COMMENT MY MISTAKES AND GRAMMATICAL ERRORS

AND COMMENT

THANK YOU <3

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"No! Absolutely not!" My dad shouted as he stood up from his chair and narrowed his eyes at me.

"Baba, it's only for a few hours." I spoke.

"They'll miss their nap time! They won't sleep without one of us there." He reasoned.

"I told him if he can't get them to sleep he has to bring them back." I countered.

"No, Sumayya. We don't know these people anymore." He sighed as he sat beside me.

"Anymore?" I spoke. "Baba, they haven't changed. Alhamdulillah, while I was with Zaid they treated me like they treated Halima and Kubra."

"Sumayya, how are you so comfortable with this?" He asked me in Arabic.

"Baba, please. He has a right in Islam. They're his kids. In my heart it really feels like I'm making the right decision. Don't make me think I'm doing something wrong if I'm not." I replied in Arabic also.

He exhaled and after a few moments of silence where he seemed to be in deep thought, he nodded. "Fine. But I want him to constantly keep us updated." He said.

I smiled. "JazakAllahu khayr, baba. Wallahi I wouldn't have agreed any other way anyway." I chuckled and he smiled, pulling me into him and hugging me tightly before I pulled away and stood up.

"I'm going to call mum in my room." I said and he nodded, bidding me good night as I left his office while he was walking to his desk chair.

::::

"That's great, habibti." My mum replied after I told her what I had allowed Zaid to do.

"Really?" I asked, shocked that she sounded so happy.

"Of course, sweetheart. Allah knows your intention and I'm sure He will reward you for making a decision that is tough for you, just so you can please Him."

"InshaaAllah, mama." I said, a smile taking over my face.

"He actually wanted them over the weekend." I said.

"Even if you agreed, Hamza and Hafsa wouldn't have allowed that. They wouldn't stop crying for you." She said and I nodded in agreement.

"Even being away from them for a few hours is going to be a struggle." I spoke honestly.

"Well, just imagine you're at work." She said with a chuckle.

"Yeah, but they're going to be with people who are strangers to them. Not Jess or Justin or dad." I spoke.

"They're family. Allah will pave a way and they'll be accepting inshaaAllah." She said.

I smiled. I loved her so much.

"Mum?"

"Yes, habibti?"

"I love you. I love you so so so much, you know that, right?" I asked her, tears gathering in my eyes.

"You tell me too many times for me to not know, Sumayya." She chuckled.

"I'd rather too much than too little. I can't imagine how I'd feel if Allah were to take your soul one day and I was left filled with regret for not spending enough time with you or not respecting you or not telling you I loved you enough." I spoke.

"Oh, sweetheart. If Allah takes my soul, just know and rest assured that I am pleased with you. You've never done anything to disrespect me and I'm so thankful to Allah that I have a daughter like you, habibti. Wallahi, I am pleased with you so don't you dare go having any regrets after my death." She told me, making me shed a few tears.

"Okay, mama." I said simply.

"And I love you so so so much too, Sumayya."

"I know, mummy." I said with a grin. "I miss you. InshaaAllah I'll come to see you Sunday since the kids are gone Saturday. I won't be able to stay over this week."

"That's fine, sweetheart. There's many other weeks bi idhnillah."

"Exactly. Mum I'll let you go, okay? I have to get these kids ready for bed. I'll video call you tomorrow after they have breakfast."

"Okay, no worries. Give them kisses from me, love. Assalamu alaykum."

"I will, mama. Wa alaykum salam."

I hung up the phone and plugged it into the wall socket on charge, putting a hijab and a skirt over my tights before I went downstairs where Hamza and Hafsa were playing building blocks with Justin.

"Come on kids. Time for bed." I called.

They groaned and moaned but Justin laughed, telling them they'd play tomorrow before he lifted them both up onto their feet and pushed them towards me after he gave them both kisses on the cheek.

"Why was," He gestured his head towards my dads office. "Yelling?" He asked.

I shook my head. "Tomorrow." I said simply with tired eyes and he nodded, turning around to put the building blocks into the bag as I went up the stairs with the kids.

"Put these on. Hafsa, you put these on." I told them as I handed them each pyjamas. "Mama, I can't do this part." Hafsa said as she looked down at the buttons she had to do.

I sighed, kneeling in front of her. "Yes, you can, sweetheart. Try it." I told her. She looked at me with apprehension before slowly taking her hands to the buttons. She did one and then continued on slowly while I told Hamza to go brush his teeth and have wudhu.

"You're missing one, Hafsa. Look, there's a hole here." I showed her. She quickly unbuttoned the odd one that she did and fixed it up, continuing the rest of it properly. "Well done, Hafsa. See? It's not that hard!" I told her while hugging her.

She laughed and nodded as she ran into the bathroom to also brush her teeth and have wudhu.

After they got into bed I went to the bathroom to do my own night routine before laying in bed with them and reading Qur'an to them until they fell asleep.

Tomorrow night we would start memorizing Surah takathur. They had memorized Nas to 'Asr and next was Takathur. Alhamdulillah.

I closed my Quran and put it on my side table, kissing the kids heads before I also shut my eyes and tried falling asleep.

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"Mummy, wake up! Wake up!" The kids cheered as they both shook my shoulders waking me from my deep slumber.

I groaned and yawned, rubbing my eyes before I smiled at them. "Sabah al khayr, babies." I mumbled softly as they repeated the greeting.

"We're hungry." They spoke together making me chuckle.

"Okay, go wash your face, change out of your pyjamas and then we'll go have breakfast." I told them. They nodded and both rushed to the bathroom while I wore proper clothes along with my hijab and left the room to the bathroom to wash my own face.

We made it downstairs and I saw Jess in the kitchen making freshly squeezed orange juice for herself.

"Good morning, Jess!" The kids yelled making her smile and gasp as she turned around after quickly rinsing her hands.

"Good morning, my loves! Did you sleep well?" She asked them while I went and put tea on the stove.

They made small talk with each other while I set up the table and put plates for everyone.

Once I seated Hamza and Hafsa on their seats and filled their plastic plates, I sat down, waiting for my dad and Justin to come down.

Once we began eating I started talking. "So, kids, guess who's picking you up today?"

"Grandma!" They both said with wide eyes filled with excitement.

I chuckled but shook my head. "We'll go to see her tomorrow inshaaAllah. Zaid is going to pick you up today." I told them with a smile, waiting on their reaction.

Hafsa gasped in excitement and Hamza looked at his plate.

"What?" Justin spoke, looking at me with raised eyebrow.

"Hamza and Hafsa's baba is going to come and he's going to take them to his house to play for the day." I said, explaining it to him, but saying it for the kids to understand.

"No way." Justin muttered as he dropped his fork and knife with a groan, Hafsa clapping her hands in excitement.

I gave him a look and turned to the kids. "You will have fun, InshaaAllah. You're going to meet your other grandma and grandpa." I told them with a smile.

"Other?" Hamza asked.

I nodded and grinned at him. "Like you know how you have grandpa and grandma and Jess..." I said with a clearing of my throat. I saw Jess look up at me through the corner of my eye but I couldn't see her face expression as I continued on without looking her way. "You also have another grandma and grandpa. Baba's mama and baba." I explained to them. "Also you have two aunties. Just like Fayza." I told them.

"Are they nice people?"

"Justin." My dad said in a warning tone.

"I'm just asking." He said, raising his hands in mock surrender.

"They're very nice people. Hamza you've met Halima, remember?"

He nods his head making me smile. They eventually finish their breakfast and at that moment the doorbell rings.

"I've got it." Jess called. I took a deep breath and wiped Hamza's table before moving to Hafsa's side to wipe her mouth with a new wet wipe.

"Assalamu alaykum." I heard after the clearing of a throat.

I turned around and looked at him with wide eyes before glaring at Jess. She avoided eye contact.

"Zaid!" Hafsa cheered as she threw her hands in the air. I already felt a headache coming on as I watched Justin glare at Zaid who's eyes only looked away from him once Hafsa called his name.

My instant headache automatically increased once I heard my dad coming down the stairs. "Who is it?"

I froze, taking a hand to my heart as I felt my head spin.

My dad walked into the living room, Zaid turned around to face the sound of his footsteps and once they made eye contact, my dads whole body tensed as Zaid lowered his head and licked his lips.

"Assalamu alaykum, ba..." He stopped, cutting himself off which was probably a great idea on his part as my dad had already narrowed his eyes.

"Wa alaykum salam." He mumbled, turning around and walking to my kids.

"What's your plan for today?" Justin asked Zaid, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I don't see how that's any of your concern." Zaid remarked cockily.

I wonder if I'd ever see the day they get along. No doubt they both met on very bad terms.

"How is it not? They're my niece and nephew." Justin replied quickly, his tone more angry.

"They're my son and daughter." Zaid replied with a cocky undertone.

"Don't dare come into my home and disrespect my family, Zaid." My baba spoke up loudly. "Justin has been looking out for my grandchildren for four years. You should be thanking him for doing what you were supposed to be doing."

"Jess, can you...please?" I called her over, gesturing to the kids. I quickly finished wiping Hafsa's mouth and took her out of her seat, handing her over to Jess who took them upstairs.

"Baba,"

"Don't call me that."

Zaid cleared his throat. "I explained to Sumi what happened." He said, his cheeks were flushed, clearly embarrassed and maybe even angered that my dad had shamed him in front of Justin who Zaid didn't like whatsoever. But of course, Zaid didn't have the luxury of showing his anger to my dad. Especially not if he was trying to get into my good books.

"I had cancer. I left for her benefit. I didn't know she was pregnant." He spoke, taking a step forward. Justin leaned back on the couch, sitting on the arm of it, his arms still crossed over his chest.

"That makes it okay to leave my daughter?!" He asked loudly with raised eyebrows.

"Baba, please. We've been over this." I said with a sigh as I walked to him and held his arm to calm him.

"Yes, you forgave him. That doesn't mean I'll forget what he put you through." My dad said as he glanced down at me for a split second before looking back up at Zaid.

"That's in the past now. Let's move on." I said.

"That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard." Justin scoffed, glaring at me and making me glare back. I saw Zaid's shoulders tense from my peripheral vision and I sighed, rubbing my forehead.

"Justin, you don't get to make that call." I said, making Zaid smirk. I rolled my eyes. "Neither does anyone else. Not even my dad. This is my decision alone and I'm doing what I think is best for my kids. Now, if you, as my brother and my dad, support me and help make this easier for my kids by getting along with their dad, then everything should go smoothly inshaaAllah." I said, completing my speech.

"Don't ask me to do that." Justin spoke, narrowing his eyes at me.

"Why not?" I countered. "If even my dad can overlook everything for the sake of my kids, why can't you?" I asked him. I was sort of using the guilt card, but I couldn't help it. I just wanted to move on from everything in the past and not have to remember anything that happened everytime we would see each other.

"I'm not saying don't let him see the kids, I'm just saying be careful and that I have no obligation to be buddy buddy with him." He shrugged.

"Be careful, why?" Zaid spoke. "You think I'd harm my own kids? We should be careful with you more than worrying about me." He scoffed making me gasp and look his way.

"Excuse me!?" I shouted. "Listen, Zaid. I didn't want to say anything, because despite everything you put me through, I'm still trying not to hurt your feelings. But now you're just asking for it. Justin has been with me and the kids since they were born, do you understand? He was there changing one of their nappies while I did the other, feeding one while I fed the other, bathing one while I bathed the other, watching them at home while I went and did grocery shopping...everything you were supposed to be doing with me, Justin was doing and still is doing. He knows Hamza and Hafsa more than you and they love him much more than they love you. He was the father figure in there life. The only thing you should be doing to Justin is thanking him."

Silence befell us and you could cut the tension with a knife. Justin smiled at me and I gave him a small nod as Zaid looked between Justin and I with narrowed eyes.

My chest was heaving from how heated I had gotten. 

Zaid breathed out from his nose and clenched his jaw before he spoke. "I should just take the kids now and leave bi idhnillah." He spoke.

I stared at him for a few more seconds before nodding and walking up the stairs.

"You should wait by the car." I called to Zaid, not wanting to leave him in the same room as Justin and my dad. That was just a disaster waiting to happen.

"Thanks for letting him in, Jess." I muttered as I walked into my room to see her helping Hafsa put on a jacket.

"I didn't know I wasn't allowed to invite Hamza and Hafsa's father into my home." She countered, buttoning up the front of the cardigan.

I shook my head in response and she continued. "That man looks fine, you should just get back with him." She said making me narrow my eyes at her.

"Jess. Stop." I gestured to the kids and she rolled her eyes, kissing Hafsa's head before putting her off the bed and onto the floor.

I quickly made them backpacks with spare clothes inside and put in their sippy cups as well.

"Come on." I said, holding each of their hands. "Time for you to go to grandma and grandpas house." I said, taking them downstairs and to Zaid's car.

"Zaid!" Hafsa shouted as she pulled her hand out of my grasp and ran to Zaid. Zaid picked her up and span her around before kissing her countless times and pulling her to his chest.

(A/N: at this point I'm thinking if I should switch p.o.v's to Zaid during the kids stay at his house 🤔🤔🤔)

I squeezed Hamza's hand and smiled down at him, before whispering for him to go hug Zaid but he simply shook his head, looking shy.

I sighed, pulled open the door and looked at the two booster seats in the back. They were good quality ones that I couldn't afford. He had also gotten the small tv screens in the back of the driver and passenger seat head rests for the kids to watch.

After putting the two back packs in between the two booster seats, I helped Hamza sit in his seat and buckled it.

"I love you." I said as I kissed his head.

"Can you come too?" He asked with a frown making my heart ache.

I gave him a small smile and shook my head. "Next time InshaaAllah." I said. "Remember, Halima is going to be there. You'll have fun." I smiled at him and he nodded.

Zaid put Hafsa in her seat and after kissing her goodbye also, I watched them drive off with glossy eyes.

"Why you crying?" Justin asked from beside me, his hands shoved in his pockets as we watched the car disappear down the road.

"It's the first time I've left them alone with anyone on the weekend." I spoke with a soft sniffle, wiping the stray tear away before sighing and turning to walk back into the house.

"He's their dad, sis. They'll be fine. I might not like him, but I can tell he adores the kids." Justin said to me. I smiled and nodded, thanking him before quickly going to the kitchen to prepare dinner. Well, more so to distract myself and pass time.

I checked the time after doing some cooking and saw that only half an hour had passed.

I groaned, resting my head in my hands and taking deep breaths in and out. How was time going to pass today?

I shook my head. I had to get used to this. Once the kids were used to Zaid, I'd have to let them go for a couple days at a time and I needed to adjust myself to this new schedule as much as I didn't want to.

"Sumayya." I heard while I was mixing the chicken in the pot.

I turned, looking at Jessica with raised eyebrows.

She cleared her throat, joining her hands in front of her and exhaling. It looked like she wanted to be anywhere but here and that made me wonder what she was going to say.

"I just...I just wanted to, uhm..." She stopped speaking and cleared her throw louder, looking me in the eye and shaking her head. "I just wanted to thank you."

My mouth dropped open as I stared at her with wide eyes. What? Was I hearing correctly?!

"For..." I trailed off.

"At breakfast. You mentioned me along with saying grandpa and grandma and...I guess it just...I appreciate you considering me as a grandparent of Hamza and Hafsa. So thank you."

SubhanAllah. I wasn't dreaming. Jessica was actually being kind to me. Very kind at that.

"Jess," I sputtered. Shaking my head and clearing my thoughts as I spoke. "You don't need to thank me. Of course you're a grandparent to them. I always considered you to be. I know how much you love my kids. Granted, you don't like me for reasons I don't know, but I know you care for my children. I should be the one thanking you for all the times you've looked after them all day while I work. I won't ever be able to repay you for that. I mean, I would try to, but I gather you don't really want me to interact with you much." I tell her honestly.

She stayed silent, watching me and I swore my eyes were playing tricks on me when I saw her eyes gloss over.

"I'm sorry." She spoke softly. "I...can we sit?" She asked. I nodded quickly, turning off the stove and walking with her to the dining table as we sat across from each other.

"Sumayya, I never meant for our relationship to be this way. I really didn't. My parents died when I was young. I don't remember them. I grew up with my aunt who treated me like a slave compared to her own kids. When I was with Justin's father, I was never appreciated. He never spent time with me. I lived with his parents and they never appreciated anything I did for them either. I was still young. Like you, I married young. Well, I got pregnant first and then married straight away. No one ever loved me. No one cared for me or my well-being. No one told me they appreciate me. I met your dad after he stopped Justin's dad from beating me in the middle of the street, instantly I felt safe. He carried me to the hospital a few blocks down. My ribs were broken, I was bruised and bloodied. I couldn't walk. In his arms, I felt home. It was the first time someone had shown me care. He did it unwillingly at the time, because he had to since there was no one else around, but he did nonetheless. He didn't leave me to die, or leave me at the hands of Justin's father. After I recovered, I went to the police station and I thanked him and cried and, now I don't know why, but I told him my whole life story in his office." She chuckled through her tears and it made me smile. "He looked very uncomfortable." She said, making me laugh. "But still, he listened. He helped me. He gave me his number and told me if Justin's father was to ever bother me again, to call him quickly and he would be able to track my phone and send out a patrol car to help or come himself. He was only doing his job, but to me, it meant so much more than that." She said and slowly, I started feeling sorry for her. "I knew I was looking too much into it. But I was naive. I had never felt that protectiveness from anyone before. I told myself over and over that no matter who it was, he would be doing the same thing, but still, I was a hurt woman with a heart craving love, care, attention, safety, peace, comfort and happiness and he gave me that. If it was any other police officer, I probably would have fell for them too, but, it was your dad. And thank god it was." I smiled at her and wiped my tears as I reached over cautiously and held her hand, letting her continue.

"I messaged him a few times and he didn't reply, now I know it was because of your religion. Back then, I thought he forgot about me. A few weeks later Justin's father came to the house again. I called your dad, and just like he promised, he was at my house with a few other officers and they arrested Justin's father. Your dad was with me when Justin came home drunk after a party as always. Your dad looked at him and then at me crying and for the first time that night, although Justin wouldn't remember any of it since he was drunk, he got fatherly advice from your dad. I'm going to tell you very openly that in that moment I caught feelings." I laughed through tears eyes and squeezed her hand. "Once he was done giving advice, he turned to leave but I told him to stay with me. He pulled his hand out of my hold and told me it wasn't suitable. He told me he was a Muslim and that he couldn't do those things and that's why he didn't respond to my messages and whatnot. Things progressed slowly from then on. We saw each other a few times during the court process since he was a witness. It was all small talk. At the end of the court he asked me where I was staying. I told him the truth; that I would go to a shelter and that Justin was staying at a friends house. He didn't seem too pleased. Long story long but shorter," She laughed. "He rented a small place and he would bring my weekly grocery shopping. A few weeks later I told him I want to marry him. I told him I was willing to do anything. I said I'd become Muslim if need be." We both chuckled.

"Eventually he accepted my desperate proposal. I guess he saw me as a charity case of sorts. We married. In the house, I saw how much he cared for you, and as bad as it sounds, the honest truth is just that I was jealous of you. I knew he didn't love me, so to see the man I quickly fell in love with being so close and caring and loving to you was hurting me. Even though you were his daughter, I suppose I just disliked you because you had everything I never got to have. Now...now I realize how absolutely stupid I was. Forgive me, Sumayya. No matter how much I put you through, you never once disrespected me." She said, squeezing my hand.

"You don't need to apologize, Jess." I told her. "I understand. We'll I don't, but I'm trying to and I don't mind at all. Everything you've ever done to me or said to me, I can easily overlook because of the way you treat my kids. You make them happy and that makes me happy, so thank you." I told her with a smile.

"I suppose I get most of the attention I crave from them since they're the only ones that love me."

"Nonsense. My dad loves you. Justin loves you. I love you. You have many people who love you, Jess. Everything you've went through in the past is done with, okay? Let's just start fresh." I smiled at her with my teeth and squeezed her hands.

A tear slid down her cheek. A happy tear.

She pulled me into her chest and we shared a hug. My insides burst of happiness that we were finally putting aside our differences and learning to get along.

"Thank you, Sumayya." She whispered.

"Thank you." I told her.

And I meant it. I didn't know where I'd be if I didn't have her to look after Hamza and Hafsa. I wouldnt have enough pay to afford day care every day. My mother lives too far from my workplace for me to stay there. My dad couldn't leave his job to look after my kids.

"Jess? Sumi?" We parted and looked up at the voice of my dad who was looking at us hugging from the doorway.

"Hi, baba." I smiled widely at him.

He smiled back at me before smiling at Jess who laughed, making us all laugh and Alhamdulillah, my heart swelled with love.

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Sorry sort of a filler chapter I know it wasn't that good, forgive me x

Vote and comment still please

Assalamu alaykum ❤️