Her mother almost swam in the ocean of tears she had shed and sometimes climbed ashore quite a while to look at her wretched son laid in supports of medical machines. Her father beared the weights of sorrows in feet to keep his stand firm in daylight and puts stay in nights as grief and misery came in waves to conquer him.

Last morning, Swara woke up in a jolt of another nightmare with heaved breathes and shaken figure, with sparks of ache that ran through her veins in her head as soon she had woken with wide, alert eyes. A part of white walls shone in gold from the window and other space, untouched by the sun remained in shadows of cold- It was already morning.

Her eyes travelled through the IV drip and back to the window with traces of recollected fragments of last night rushed through her. Shafali entered to embrace her and with caution broke the news of Aditya had aroused after a long sleep. But the latter information broke Swara into pieces-  Aditya suffered with a temperory loss of vocals.

Somehow she couldn't comprehend herself to even glance at her brother suffer in such terrible circumstances. Swara pulled off the drip in haste and rushed away outside the corridors, dropped to the floor sobbing into her palms. And that's when she decided to go back to school, somewhere away from all the pain and the chaos.

Swara swallowed forcefully at those happenings as she sat on her knees, absent-mindedly stroked the little Mia's hair who stood confused blinking her big doe eyes, "What happened Shona?" She wondered aloud. Swara's hazels stung by tears as she stared the tender face who eventually wrapped her arms around.

She spoke none, blinked away all the moisture and gently parted the hug, "Don't go anywhere after class. I'll come to pick you up." Swara commanded, dropping a soft kiss on her Mia's hair and tickled her. Mia giggled loud as ever that broke the silence that lingered through the corridors.

The laughters were all Swara could comprehend herself to break slashes on her numb mind. Mia stumbled by all the giggles and Swara held protectively against her until her breath fell normal. Out of all the miserable ocean the entire household drowned with, Mia was that small vessel who made them breathe a little.

"Shona! You will eat your lunch. Take care of you and drink water." Mia instructed , trying to intimate like her strict math teacher when she used to instruct- a hand on her hip and another pointed to her sister. Rather, a chuckle slipped away Swara's lips of how adorable Mia looked.

"Okay madam." She agreed nevertheless, "Now tell me who asked you to tell all these to me" Swara taped Mia's nose with a finger by taking the little pointed finger of hers in hers to pull her close. Swara could tell, the words were asked to be delivered to her either by Shafali, Reema maasi or mother.

"Your papa." No wonder she hardly saw a glimpse of him in the morning talking with Mia and left before she came back after getting ready. Swara hummed in response at that recollection of the memory from the morning. But sure, it left her back in surprise.

"Okay I'm going. Bye!" Mia waved her hands to Swara and run through the empty corridors to reach her classroom. While Swara watched her little one fade through the corridors, taking away the smiles she blessed along with her and left her all cold.

Swara straightened herself, her fingers reached to push those classic black rimmed reading spectacles to the position. The spectacles was hardly an attempt to shield her tired hazels and profound circles being in vision of others. But somewhere her mind kept reminding a teasing voice of "Chasmish."

Nevertheless, she paved her ways towards the library as decided. Maybe, atleast books would help her to forget the worldly matters and let her drown into fictional universe in relief. Once she had reached near to the threshold, Swara paused to take a sigh before heading into the library with a smile of no gleam.

Miss. Nirmala Williams, the library incharge was kind enough to not bother her much by asking about her brother's well being and left the room for she had official work in the office. Swara left a heavy sigh, Facing people with a smile after all the sleepless nights was sure an awful task to keep up with.

She strode further in, eyeing at the labels of genres that were stuck in the soft brown wooden bookcases which had engravings of maple leaves, of autumn berries and birds on the wing. There was a sweet, musky smell of old books, inks and prints that lingered all through the way.

Absent- mindedly Swara entered a section randomly only to stroke those books arranged in alphabetical orders irrespective of the size of colour. Until, she had paused to take a look on a particular book- The Winds of Willow by Kenneth Grahame. Ah! How many times Aditya had recited the book every night until she falls asleep.

The disappeared lump once again made home in her throat to clogg and snatch away the words from her. Moisture appeared in her eyes as her fingers tried to reach through the very book with trains of flashes running back to her mind. No wonder, memories that warms us also tears us apart.

Swara managed to reach the book with slight tremor in her fingers as she tried to blink away the tears. Of cause, she had unstabled emotions still that didn't help to stop herself from taking the book to revisit those memories. Nothing mattered enough if it leaves behind a bittersweet taste in her she would savour it all as she would revisit those paragraphs and her dear brother.

She held the book and gently pulled it but then a firm grip over the book halted her action, Maybe someone was on the other side? - Swara titled her head in confusion. When she felt the book been pulled in parallel, Swara retreated her hand in swift. Yet stood by to know who it was.

And her heart pounded in abrupt, hazels enlarged- wide and dull bright; despite the spectacles she wore. That second all was forgotten and everything had halted- just with those soft hues of memories they shared ever so beautiful. Until they had zeroed back to the last moment of warm- cold they had and getting all back to dark grey's again.

Sanskaar stood rooted, the book lousely held in his fingers but the focus laid only to her- Swara. What had she done to herself? He mused. The rims of black boundaries looked like a shield to her darkened eyes, all warmth and brightness gone away from her. She looked lost and stands on feet with the shell of her figure.

That nothingness on her face almost reminded him of the last encounter, it looked all same. Those wide alert eyes, wrenched sobs and ached features... Sanskaar winced internally at those memories. He couldn't facade a happy face for her come back- heck! he couldn't even verbalize words to say. Swara was aching, internalising all the pain he could say with a mere glimpse.

The intensity emitted by those pitch black eyes of his made Swara to look away or rather in an attempt to escape from him. There was something about that stare, No! it was not something of pity but of searching. The stare strived to pierce through those bout of skin layers to reach her vulnerable spot- the real Swara who she had veiled up with tremendous amount of efforts. And she can't let it slide so easily.

Swara was in need of a listener and not a interrogater- Sanskaar snapped at his own self. The want of seeking answers and to know the exact situation lead him do such a stupid act. But sure, that abrupt averting of hers did pull those stinging strings in him.

He walked to the parallel section, Swara could hear the approach of his footsteps towards her while she stood still with a sudden race of heartbeats. And it paused. Sanskaar stood right infront of her and somewhere the hesitancy pulled her away facing him.

"Here." She snapped back to him when he forwarded the book casually to her with a easing smile. Swara took the book from his hold with a small mental battle of how she should reason for her vulnerable state before, "Sanskaar, I-"

"Don't." He said softly, "You don't have to force yourself to excuse for the incident Swara. I wouldn't ask you to reason it." Swara couldn't comprehend herself to speak anymore but only ended up giving a genuine smile. Sanskaar reciprocated as well, just a bit of concern mixed along with the expression and smile.

The golden light shifted through the branches, dipped against the window and peeped into those creaks of the pane. A thin ray of sunlight flicked through the dusky, woody interior; just few particular places and volumes enlightened.

He offered a hand, something different in those pool of gorgeous black that shone by the flicks of gold that now reached him and illuminated all his features in pool of amber light. A beam of smile spreads on her lips, no wonder the warmth of the sun always remained only about him. Swara took his, her cold fingers being warmed up by his larger ones as she stood in the shadows.

Something stirred yet at the same time eased her heart, that damned smile had brought the glow he thought she had lost. As he lead forward, Sanskaar could not stop the smile of relief that overwhelmed his heart in waves. About that stir- he'd keep that for another time to ponder upon.

They took their seating on the chairs near the huge window that was left open by Sanskaar to inhale some fresh wind. He borrowed the book back from Swara. She watched him flip the pages with such delicacy and his eyes skimmed through the words in fast runs,

"Staring's rude!" His finger unconsciously placed where he had paused, Sanskaar gazed up straight. He had been noticing from the time he had got the book from her and all she did was to look at him.

"For someone who does not goes near books except for academic purpose, now looks into them. Don't you find it strange?" Swara amused aloud, curiosity danced in her dull hazels after a long time. Nevertheless, this Sanskaar with such tranquility looking into books was a good sight.

Sanskaar's lashes droop down, the other finger unintendedly stroking the edges of the smooth paper. He had come in a veil attempt to tone down her absence that kept affecting by visiting to her favourite places. How was he supposed to tell her that?

"Ah-- just? I just came because you were not there." How easily he had surrendered himself with the truth. Sanskaar snapped himself at that slip of words, wasn't he supposed unreveal that? Urgh!

"Is that a confession that states you missed me?" Swara questions, a tint of tease and happiness in the words. His ears had gone red that he covered them in his palms and looked everywhere. Sanskaar was in the library because he had missed her, hadn't he? A soft smile tug by her lips.

"Was it even a question to ask? Of cause I missed you!" Sanskaar stated in a sincere tone. True, there was a lot of unfamiliar whirlpool of emotions swirling around on his mind and heart but at the end of the day, Swara was his bestfriend and she would always be. There was no absolute deny on that part.

"And I was too lost to miss you'll." Her voice had turned too soft, almost into a mere whisper. For all the while- no words, no hugs and no people mattered to her. The nightmares had almost swallowed them away and left her cold and numb.

Sensing a dark shadow appear across her face and dulled her features Sanskaar spoke, "There!" The exclaim got Swara out of her trance and shifted her gaze back to the Sanskaar who had his eyes laid on the book, a finger pointed to a particular phrase or paragraph.

"I've searching for it for a long time and there, I found it." Sanskaar looked up, a small grin for the victory of catching her attention and for the words he had been on search for a long time, "Shall I recite it?" Swara nodded, not wanting to snatch away the happy grin he passed to her.

Sanskaar briefly took a look back into those pages and held the book, a hold on the spine of the book and another catching the edges. He begun,

"For this is the last best gift that the kindly demi-god is careful to bestow on those to whom he has revealed himself in their helping: the gift of forgetfulness." He paused, with a short inhale of breath he continued, "Lest the awful remembrance should re main and grow, and overshadow mirth and pleasure, and the great haunting memory should spoil all the after-lives of little animals helped out of difficulties, in order that they should be happy and lighthearted as before.

But Mole stood still a moment, held in thought. As one wakened suddenly from a beautiful dream, who strug gles to recall it, and can re-capture nothing but a dim sense of the beauty of it, the beauty! Till that, too, fades away in its turn, and the dreamer bitterly accepts the hard, cold waking and all its penalties."

He ended but Swara said nothing, rather turned away before their eyes meet. Those paragraphs remained of her younger self and him- her dearest brother, though vague, few words of the phrases in his vocals lingered in her memory.

Her pale skin glowed in the pools of amber as they were bathed by the morning sun, those gorgeous hazels glittered with moisture staying in bay of the waterline. Swara was putting a strong stay not wanting to break, Sanskaar's eyes softened. He gently took her hands in his.

Unconsciously she held his in a tight grip, bitting her lips to stop herself from breaking.  Swara didn't want  to let herself loose for it would take too long to rearrange those scattered pieces, "It's going to be okay Swara. He's going to be fine." Sanskaar comforted her.

Sanskaar quickly shifted beside her, hands still clapsed in a tight hold enough to make their skin paler. He let her do whatever she wanted, no queries  from his side and he wanted for Swara to feel was his constant support irrespective of whatever circumstances that come by.

Meters away, in between the book racks stood by Laksh who had come in search for the reference of a particular lesson. On hearing a familiar tone... Ah! Sanskaar it was, he strode to reach the origin of voice. He stilled when he watched Swara and Sanskaar together, him comforting Swara who looked low.

Something crashed in him that Laksh could not point exactly. His knuckles all paled by the fist of hand he made. The fact that he couldn't be near her when she was hurting ached him more. Laksh watched them from the corner of his eyes before tearing away his gaze and the need to flee caught up more.

"Laksh you-" Ragini walked towards him and Laksh's shoulder brushed through her roughly that Ragini stumbled a little by force as he walked away. What was even the need to fleed in such a hurry? "Idiot!" she scowled under her breathe.

That was when Ragini saw Swara and Sanskaar together. Oh Swara?- her eyes shot wide but at the same time she was glad about Swara's comeback as a fellow wellwisher. She could now connect the dots.. Laksh, Swara and Sanskaar, "Gosh!" Ragini rushed out in order to reach her friend, Laksh.

~

"I wonder how our headmistress allows this gold digger to still work in her premises after whatever she had done to her son."

Another insult spat on her way, Pavithra's grip on the pen tightened by it and her focus wavered from the notes she had been preparing for the upcoming classes. She detested how people threw ugly comments and past disgusting glares on her way. Calm down Pavi- she breathed.

Things have been too exhausted from the time Aditya got himself into a brutal accident and woke up only to loose his vocals, though temporary. She had a strong in built of emotions, she knew that but the way everyone kept poking her bruises and spoke ill words about their relationship tore her apart.

She had been standing on the last strings of patience and once broke, along with her fury anger would follow by a break down which she didn't want that to happen. Pavithra had promised herself to keep herself sane despite all these tangled chaos, atleast until Aditya recovers a little.

Pavithra placed the pen between the pages and just as she closed the book, the other hand slammed the table bringing all those accusations to a halt. With that momentary peace, she stormed out for staying back in the staff room would make her break all the resolutions taken and tear all those mouths that spoke meaningless words.

"The guts of this woman! It's all of the headweight that comes by trapping the Gagodia's heir." A staff seered.

"I'm sure there should be her hand in Aditya's accident. Poor boy is in such a bad condition because of this lady exploiter who fakes innocence." Another staff commented.

On the account of staying a step away from threshold hearing those accusations, Swara gritted her teeth to control the seething anger she felt. Along with Swara stood Sanskaar, a little worried and afraid by the reactions she had been giving when she heard the staffs speak, "Swara you wait-", Swara snatched the papers from his hold, "You stay back."

With that Swara marched inside the staff room and an abrupt silence prevailed by her sudden appearance. Swara passed through those papers to get them signed by the staffs and waited, "How is your brother Swara? I hope he's doing good?" Her jaws tightened.

"Much more finer from whatever rumours you all are spreading, thank you." Her tone was polite but the sarcastic smirk and dead stare got everyone confused and a spike of anger built in them, "What does that mean Swara?"

"I refrain you all to stop spouting baseless informations and illusionary stories of yours inside the campus." The politness all gone, aura of danger and coldness emitted from her. It was more of a command- reminding them of Sharmistha Gagodia, herself.

"You are talking to group of teachers who are elder to you. Mind your words!" Came a phrase of warning but Swara remained calm in her stand, Inspite of the anger that built up in multiple folds in her veins, "And you'll ask me to keep silent when you all state illusionary tales about my household?"

None answered towards the question that was thrown straight to them, "I repeat, a word of nonsense uttered about my brother or his beloved, Make sure to be ready to serve the given punishment." Swara cautioned them in a dangerous pitch, for one last time before pulling back to her normal face, "Have a good day ahead everyone."

Swara strode out of the staff room taking the papers,  leaving behind the frozen staff members back in their places by the alarm of words thrown against them. Sanskaar was completely taken aback by the scene and Swara looked even more paler and huffing in anger.

Refreshing herself, Pavithra was on the way back to staff room but then her steps slackened when she saw Swara standing in the threshold. Swara as well spotted Pavithra, indeed she had something very much major to talk about.

"We need to talk." With that, Swara walked past Pavithra to find a suitable place much away from all the serpentines. A little confused, still Pavithra followed her and the minute they had reached the backyard lawn facing each other Swara had started speaking.

"Why are you staying quite when your co-workers kept personally harassing you, kept calling you with such low names? What's even stopping you from speaking up? You know if bhai comes to know he would--"

Pavithra embraced her with a smile, halting Swara from bombarding with all the questions she had been asking. Though it was accidentally Pavithra didn't wanted Swara to hear them, the kid was already going through a rough patch, "I'll take care of it. You've caught up with slight fever." She touched her forehead in concern.

"I know." Swara mumbled, no wonder she already felt bitterness seeping through her mouth and slight burning sensation in her eyes, "You are changing the topic though." She complained, pulling away her hand and staring at her as if waiting to get the answer.

"You can't prove your innocence to a crowd of blinded people, they would attack with or without any justification. The ones who needs to know truth, knows and that's all matters to me. I don't care for the rest." Pavithra explained in a soft voice holding her hands gentle as ever. Swara hummed in response knowing it was all a true fact.

"You should take care of yourself Swara. Adi does not like to you sick like this." For moment Swara replied nothing for the return. Maybe, if nothing had happened to her brother she wouldn't have been strangling between nightmares and facading days.

The bell rung in indication that the break was over. Pavithra doesn't force Swara for a reply when she does not wanted to do, "Go attend your next class Swara." There was love, concern in warmth in her voice but Swara does not leave.

"Promise me. Promise me that you would not force to keep yourself when someone points and treats you low. I'd go back then." Swara demanded and Pavithra couldn't help herself from adoring the girl for what she was. Indeed, one heck of a strong girl she was just like Aditya described,

"I promise."

After Swara had left, Pavithra went to the staff room to collect her books to move to the respective class she was supposed to go but the phone's vibration caught her attention. She was surprised to see Mr.Sharma calling her since it was him who had been giving information regarding Aditya's health.

Last day, only with his call she was able to meet Aditya yesterday. But this sudden call got her all the uneasiness and fears about Aditya, she just couldn't shrug them away as her heart started pounding. Yet, she attended the call.

"Hello?"

And that one word was enough to get all her breathing sucked aways from her lungs and her doe eyes wide in horror.

~

Classes had begun on a usual way but Swara had been moving from her seating and would hiss softly often without gaining any one's notice to her side. Sanskaar was aware of her weariness and a painfully expression she held on for sitting for a longer time without intervals. Teachers had been entering one after the other, exactly on time. He was worried and often took glimpses of her. 

The pen she held between her fingers fell on the papers, her neat cursive writings had turned into few scribble of words hardly readable. Swara sighed, almost in a want to bury her slightly throbbing head in between books. She felt her skin being slowly fed to the fire
by the heat emitted, she was catching up temperature pretty fast but Swara was able to put a still.

Just then, Jay had excused himself from the teacher who had been teaching and directed his way towards Swara all concerned. A confused Swara questioned with her brows shot up and he answered, "Bhai wanted to meet you."

"Now?" She asked taken aback by the surprise while Jay hastily closed the texts and dumped them all into her bag, "Now." He answered back, finally zipping the bag and throwing them on his shoulder.

"I'll come by." Sanskaar mouthed in assurance and Swara nodded in acceptance before they walked out the classroom. Her head still reeling with all sort of thoughts of why her brother asked for her immediately.

"You're scaring me Jay! Is bhai okay?" Honestly, Swara was a lot more afraid than what her voice managed to show. She would not be able to pick herself if something goes wrong with her brother, "I have no idea either." Jay answered as they finally reached the entrance.

"Let's go?" Jay asked in a meek tone. Rather he had any idea of if anything was wrong, but all he did was to hope nothing had gone wrong. Swara would completely choose self- destruction if that happens.

"Let's go." Swara said a little breathless. He would be fine- she chanted to herself but the nervousness, terror and fear had  already started building home in her heart.

A/N: Tada!!! Back earlier that expected. Let me try to get back to my weekly updates, not promise but yeah I'm definitely working on it ✨

The paragraph is from a book excerpt from "The Winds of Willows" (Chapter 7).

Dedication and most love to jasmine_r22 and SamairaRajput , none would have worked out if not for both of your hype and constant support. I hope it met up to your satisfaction❤️

Love,
Diya❤️