The rain fell in crazy chaotic drops, the gusting wind carrying the water drops along. It ran down on her face but she least cared. It wasn't as cold as winter rains but not warmth as summer showers too.

Swara entered the house with no less than a living corpse, her eyes swollen with unshed tears shining in her eyes, face redden and pained. Everything had come back to her and it ached as if she was stabbed in her heart in reverse. The pain was getting more unbearable and all she wanted to do was to lock the door, throw her self down on the floor and let her drown in tears. She almost ran to the stairs gathering her wet gown when maasi's voice stopped her.

"Swara?" Reema was not aware of the mess that had happened to her favorite child and seeing her all wet only made her concerned. Swara didn't turn but stood on the steps gripping the railing. No way she could show her face and cause unnecessary tension to her.

"See you got all wet. You should take care of yourself." Swara could only feel her tears  forming in her waterline and her throat clogged. She felt herself being pushed back in a maze unknown to her again. She didn't find herself anymore then what was even the need to take care of herself? Swara bit her inner lip so that she won't let out a sob.

Aditya and Jay literally banged into the house only to find Swara standing on the steps showing her back to Reema who was standing near the staircase.

As soon as Aditi informed him, Jay had sprinted again to the auditorium only to see a dejected Sanskaar walking out of the auditorium. And when Sanskaar informed about the happenings, Jay almost felt dizzy. He didn't know something like this would abruptly happen. Sanskaar and him were sharing each and every step they took on the matter but this one was beyond their reach. Jay left the auditorium and started searching for all the possible places Swara would usually go and with just a guess Jay walked into the Gagodia's company only to bump into Aditya. Seeing Aditya, Jay confessed all the happenings making him worried too. Both had started searching for her together until the gatekeeper of the house informed Aditya that Swara was back in the house. They rushed back.

"Swara?" Swara's eyes flinched open when she heard Jay's voice. That tone-- she knew instantly Jay already knew the matter. He was here to check up on her but she didn't want him to see this torn side of hers again and hurt him. Jay has never voiced out the pain he undergoes when seeing her devastated. He always tried cheering up despite everything.

"Swara are you okay?" Aditya took steps forward to her already. Because he knew, he always knew that Swara never shows her back when someone asks her a question. She wasn't okay. Aditya had totally forgotten the other issues that kept him away from her, before her health and well being nothing comes first for him.

Swara griped the railing tighter. Her brother was talking to her. A small smile adorned her lips inspite of her sinking heart but then she couldn't turn. All of a sudden she felt short of breathe and blackness slowly overpowering her sense.

"Swara look at me!" Aditya said but before Swara could even let out a word in reply, her eyeballs rolled out and she fell into unconsciousness. Aditya was quick to hold her in his arms while Jay and Reema was scared to their guts.

"Maasi inform Varun that we are coming there, Now!" Aditya yelled as he picked up his dear sister in his arms and rushed to the hospital trying his best not to panic and make things worst.

~

Half an hour later, Swara was lying in the hospital bed, still asleep, a drip of IV drug attached to her left hand vein. Varun closed the door behind him not before taking a glance of the sleeping figure once again. 

Aditya was leaning on the wall with arms crossed near his chest looking distressed. Shekhar was sitting on the bench all worried while Nitin Sharma was near Shekhar, consoling him. Reema and Jay stayed back since Aditya asked them to and made sure to inform them about the happenings now and then.

As soon as Aditya saw Varun coming out from the ward he was the first one to rush by his side and followed by the others.

"Varun she's doing fine right? All of a sudden she just collapsed and I don't even know what to do. I was just--" Aditya paused. He knew, he was still panicking. Varun sighed as he pressed Aditya's shoulder assuring him. If Swara was like his baby sister then Aditya was no less then a brother to him.

"Dehydration and too much stress made her unconscious. And her temperature has gone up since she drenched herself in the rain. I've already given medications so she's stable now. Physically she's doing okay." Varun informed to others. Shekhar and Nitin sighed while Aditya was still not convinced, until he sees his little one in the house fit and fine.

"Stress?" All their heads turned to the right to see Sharmishtha Gagodia heading towards them. Aditya shifted his gaze away, "Stress? What triggered her to get this much stress? She was fine, wasn't she?" Sharmishtha asked and only then Shekhar too realised that he didn't ask what had happened that she was in the hospital. Inspite of the fateful day, she left to school like any other or... did she remember what day it was?

"Swara was asked to play piano in a competition and she was in a mess, again!" Aditya explained making everyone gasp. Because everyone knew what all she had gone through after the competition last time.

"Competition?" Sharmishtha was even more confused. She already knew how Swara avoided classical music at any circumstances and she didn't understand why Swara agreed to play even if the teacher was forcing her to play, "I'll see through who asked her to play."

"Digging the already happened issue will not give a solution." Aditya's words were direct but he didn't dare to even spare a look his mother while Sharmishtha sighed. Shekhar and Nitin sensed the thick air surrounding them and looked the mother-son duo.

"Will she be okay?" Nitin asked.

"Let's be positive and don't ask anything about it when she wakes up." Varun said while others too agreed. Last time Swara was drifting in and out of unconscious for days. They all hoped this time the history wouldn't repeat again.

~

It was past seven thirty and the fact that Sanskaar hadn't still come home worried Asha so much and moreover it was raining like cats and dogs. She had already contacted the cafe he worked to know if he had directly reached there from the school but much to her disappointed he didn't. With every passing minute she was only getting more anxious and worried about him.

"Dadi you've been walking too and fro for the past one hour. If your grandson comes to know about this, he'll go crazy. Sit for sometime na? He will come soon." Sona has been requesting her to take some rest for so long but Asha seems not bugged with her words.

"He didn't go to work as well. Where only he went?" Asha once again glanced at the entrance worriedly while Sona sighed, "He'll come. At the end of the day he has to come to you only na. For now sit dadi." Sona reluctantly held Asha's shoulders and made her sit on the couch. Asha couldn't convince herself. Her heart has been pouncing from the minute she didn't find any new from Sanskaar or about him.

On hearing the footsteps Asha and Sona looked up only to find a completely drenched Sanskaar walking inside lifelessly or rather to say he was dragging his legs and was lost in his own world. Asha rushed towards her grandson and cupped his face.

"Where did you go Sanskaar? You didn't go to work as well and look at you all drenched? You--" Asha's words stopped and she quickly held Sanskaar's arms tightly gasping for air. Sona rushed by her side and Sanskaar quickly held Asha with widened eyes.

"Dadi, take it easy." Sona and Sanskaar held Asha and made her sit on the couch. Sanskaar got a glass of water and sat on his knees rubbing her palms while Sona helped Asha to drink some water. And only when Sanskaar saw Asha's breathing becoming normal he was relieved too. He left out a heavy sigh. For a second he didn't know what to do seeing his grandmother gasping for air so suddenly.

Sanskaar threw his arms around her not giving a damn to anything else. The thought of loosing her had scared him to his guts. Asha's features softened. She knew how much it scared him. Asha caressed his wet locks while Sanskaar hide his head deeper in her nape. He felt tears hitting the back of his eyes but he didn't let it fall. Sanskaar always had control over his emotions but today with every minute he only felt himself shattering and breaking into pieces so loudly yet not a sound came out.

Sona smiled. There was something about these two which always made her smile. They were not connected by blood but by hearts and she wasn't sure if she could see someone love a person who is not related to each other. They loved each other so much.

"I'll change and come." With a heavy voice Sanskaar was about to rush to his room without showing his face to anyone but stopped when he heard Asha calling him. He cannot let his grandmother see this side of him now, it was not right.

"Sanskaar are you okay?" Asha asked while Sanskaar who still didn't turn let a tear roll down from his eyes. The last thing he wanted in the world was to break down in front of his grandmother.

"What's going to happen-- to me?" With that he didn't wait for her reply and went inside room locking his door. He didn't bother to switch on the lights but just sat on the floor, leaning against the wall and let the traitor tears fall down from his eyes which he prevented for so long.

Asha frowned looking at the closed door of his room. She could not put her finger on exactly what it was but she felt something big had happened with her kid. 

~

Clutching the trophy in her hand tighter, Swara walked into the hospital with the Reema who held her other hand tighter than usual. She didn't understand what was going. If not for home her maa would be in the hospital only and it was not something new. When she asked Reema teacher and her dad why her maa was spending more time in the hospital and not with her she was only informed that her maa was ill and it was necessary for her to visit hospital often. 

It has been three days since she fought with her maa and after that her maa didn't come home too. Reema made Swara understand patiently that whatever it was, her words were not right and she too agreed. She felt wrong for talking to her maa that way, even her bhai had told her once that asking someone to die is not a right word to be used.

So she practiced day and night. Just like her maa wanted she practiced so well and the with her next recital she won the trophy and she even made sure that she played all the notes right with Reema. She was super excited to show it to her maa and hoped she would be happy.

Reema and Swara entered into the ICU ward. Her maa was there, lying on the bed with her eyes closed and oxygen mask fixed on her mouth. She could hear the sound of the machines and see various wires attached to her maa. Swara blinked her hazel eyes and slowly walked towards her maa's side. Swara was waiting for her maa to open her eyes. She wanted to share the happiness and show her the tropy, maybe that can help her to get healthier.

"Aisha di." Reema softly called out Aisha's name and Aisha opened her eyes slowly. She flickered her eyes to clear her blurred vision and when she did, the first person she was Reema who standing in front of her bed with a small smile.

"Maa." A small whisper from her side made Aisha turn her head. It was her daughter and she knew it well. Her eyes misted when she remembered the sequence that happened  days ago. Aisha not for once thought Swara had so much emotions bottled up until that day. She still remembered how her voice which always sounded like a sweet melody, that day sounded like lament. There was only hurt implanted in her eyes. Aisha not for once wanted Swara to feel suffocated but knowing that all the way she felt that made her heart hollow. But at the same time she was helpless. She had rare type of cancer and she hardly time left for her until then she wanted to train Swara. She wanted to see Swara as a pianist and fulfill the dream that was snatched due to circumstances. But in that process she was hurting the little one

"Maa I won the recital competition." Swara forwarded the shining trophy to Aisha nervously with a smile, "I even asked Reema teacher and she told I didn't do any mistakes this time." Swara quickly looked at Reema and to which Reema nodded her head smiling, "I'm sorry maa for that day. I shouldn't have told you like that. I love you!" She apologized and that only made Aisha more guilty and a heavy feeling sunk her heart. Tears spilled from her eyes. This girl... Does she even know what she was doing by saying those words?

Seeing tears from her maa, Swara's eyes widened. Her mind instantly popped with multiple questions like if she had hurted her again or was her maa not satisfied with her win.

With shaking hand Aisha held Swara's fisted ones and shook her head in no with a soft smile knowing the type of questions her daughter's mind would raise seeing her cry now. She opened to her mouth to say something, all of a sudden the electricity line stopped and Aisha took a sharp breathe. Swara was standing still as Aisha gripped her hands more tighter on hers. She heard Reema screaming out Aisha's name and running out of the ward to call the doctor. Swara couldn't see anything clearly owing to the darkness but she was able to see her maa's figure jolting, taking sharp breathes like a fish out of water while Swara stood still frozen. The trophy in her hand slipped away when she already felt her maa's hold on her loosening. She heard many footsteps rushing towards the bed but her eyes were fixed on the figure who was lying on the bed.

"Maa!"

Swara hadn't realised when the word escaped from her, it just did. She could only hear the screams and her maa lying on the bed gasping heavily. Swara didn't understand what was happening, everything was confusing and her head spinned. The darkness of the room started engulfing her entire sense, all of a sudden she felt vision turning blur. She felt her legs giving up and soon the darkness engulfed her slowly yet deeply, enough to strain her soul with the darkness for the rest of her life....

"Maa!"

Swara woke up with a sudden jolt. Her body was covered in cold sweat and she felt hot, "It's just a nightmare. Nothing else." Swara kept repeating to herself for few minutes to stable her heavy breathing and pounding heart and when felt her breathe in control she opened her eyes. A throbbing pain in her head made her hold her head in between her hands irrespective of the IV wire that was attached to her left hand's vein.

The pain was too much that she felt as if someone was hitting her head with a rod. Varun who entered the ward immediately marched to Swara's side and made her sit back against the bed rest while she hissed in pain. 

"Swara, you'll take in deep breaths and release okay? Relax.." Varun instructed. His fingers circled around her temples and Swara slowly relaxed. The pain was still there but it was much better than before. Varun sighed in relief only after making sure she was doing better.

"This migraine... I swear it will be the death of me." Swara dropped her head on the bedrest sighing heavily while Varun shook his head in disbelief as he kept his stethoscope on the bed side.

It was only then she remembered something. Swara opened her eyes again and looked around. The white painted walls, a small closed transparent window allowing her to see the dawn, machines on either sides and a drip stand close to her.   She had no idea how she landed up in the hospital all she remembered was Jay and Aditya rushing to her, after that she felt dizzy, then her brother calling her out and she doesn't remember anything else.

"Blaming the poor migraine? You drenched yourself in the rain and you even had a hike of temperature last night due to it." Varun filled her with information of what happened with her.

Rain?

Only then the flashes of how she was asked to play piano, Sanskaar giving hopes before the recital, She playing the piano but eventually failing, She coming out from the stage, Sanskaar pulling her in his embrace and letting her cry, then she running away from him, the auditorium and until she found no more strength. Even the memory of how she walked back to her house was blur to her.

That was when something striked her. Now she exactly knew why everyone was too tender towards her. It was her maa's death anniversary, yesterday!

Swara heavily sighed and pressed her eyelids down. She had no more tears to cry even if she wanted to but she already felt a hollow in her heart being dug more deeper.

"Can I get discharged?" Swara asked bluntly. Varun observed every expression of Swara's and he was quite sure she had recollected the events of the last day and by now would have remembered what day it was that she forgot.

"Aditya is already doing the formalities you can get discharged. I'll drop by your house to check on you. You'll be fine soon." Swara nodded her head and shifted her gaze to look at the dawn. Though it was not much visible she could see the darkness of the night slowly fading away in nothingness and letting the sun rays take its place for the day. She felt numb and exhausted by the events and watching the dawn somewhat soothed her. Usually on her maa's anniversary she always locked herself inside the room, cried to sleep, survived with only water left in her room just because she didn't want to look at anyone but this time she walked out like any other day and even played the piano she kept away after the incident. She forgot and she only wondered how. Instantly it was only Sanskaar's name that came to her mind, surprisingly.

Seeing Swara lost in her own musings, Varun spoke up, "Want to talk about it?" Swara brushed away the thoughts and she answered quickly, "No!"

She wasn't ready to talk about it, not about that day or yesterday. Not now, maybe not forever too. The scar was imbibed in her heart and soul deeply, painful that no words can heal them. The fact that she stood numb and helpless watching her maa wither and shout in pain would never let her live peacefully.

Everyone can easily over look at the situation. They might think it was
not a big thing but for her, it was. She could never forgive herself for uttering those words pushing her mother in black hole that eventually lead her to her end... in a most miserable and painful way. It was her who always wanted to be the reason behind her maa's smile but she only turned out to be a pain and nothing else.

"I'll get changed." Swara got up as Varun took the needle from her vein and left the room to change. While Swara watched the dawn to get some momentary peace.

☆They saw in her a bright star burning, and basked in the heat of her flame, but behind the bright she was smoldering for breath in the black of a life she never asked for ☆

Back again! Missed me anyone???

There was no SwaSan scenes in the chapter but then this one was necessary since I had revealed the main part of the past. Hope you all will like the chapter.

Love,
Diya❤️