MAY 29, 2023.

"You've got quite the list going there, Yewon," Beomgyu commented as I read each setting over and over, looking around for potential places where we could bring it to life. I ignored his words, though, because my focus was placed on the things that captivated me, like that elm tree misplaced with a bunch of normal oak. If I could bring metaphorical use into the picture, then– Ouch. "Sorry in advance for flicking your forehead since I know you'll complain, but you aren't listening to me. Do you need this much preparation for a fourteen-minute film?"

"Correct. I need to make Professor Park proud, so I have to make sure each detail is intricate. It has to have purpose!" I exclaimed, attempting to explain to Beomgyu, but there he went, staring at me as if I was a piece of art. I hated when he'd daze off with those big and alluring eyes of his–they distracted me from the fact that he knew my past. "Anyway, what do you think about this place for a fight scene? I remember clearly in the script that the two go on a double date and end up departing from the group."

Beomgyu looked up at the big elm tree. "This is a little off-putting, though. It kind of gives me chills. Why here?"

"That's the point," I smiled, satisfied as I stared at the elm tree. Its beautiful stature was contrasted by the shorter oak, branching out and beyond the imaginary boundary made by the freshly green grass. "Elm trees symbolize the underworld in celtic mythology. It's an implicit connection to the fact our relationship was slowly being pulled six feet under."

"...Our, Yewon?" I didn't say anything, processing the fact it was a dead giveaway. I bit my cheek and stopped staring at the elm tree, facing him with a look of distaste. Beomgyu's face fell, his eyes portraying a dead sense of curiosity. "Sorry, I thought you said that on purpose, so I went ahead and questioned it."

"Don't be apologetic for my mistake, Beomgyu," I reassured him, smiling softly. "I haven't told you anything about my past, although I know you might be curious. Aren't you ever desperate for information about me?"

"I am, always. There are days that I want to unfold your past like my fortune, and other days where I want to shatter the wall completely," He wasn't afraid to be honest, his stare growing intense. Still, I held it, hoping that my soon-to-be answer would settle his nerves. "But, I know that what you've been put through has forced you to put your guard up. If I want to be someone special to you, then I'm going to build up your trust."

I chuckled, folded my paper list, and shoved it in my back pocket. "Are you sure that you don't have that trust already, Beomgyu?" His eyes widened slightly as if he didn't expect those words. I nodded slowly, mustering the courage to tell him everything. "I think you deserve to know the truth by now. We're partners in crime and you're helping me with Soobin, so... any question that's currently dwelling in your head, go ahead and ask me it. I'll answer."

"How about you just start from the beginning?" Beomgyu tilted his head, composing his eagerness into an antsy touch. His fingers intertwined with the others, tapping his skin. His smile was big, but it eased when he saw me focusing on it. "You can just tell me everything you're comfortable with. I'm sure by the time you're done, you'll answer my millions of questions."

"You think?" He giggled, nodding. "Alright, then. I guess I should start from the very beginning, right?"

We lumbered toward the elm tree with gentle and slow steps, my hands wrapped around each other from behind. Beomgyu remained by my side, sticking a hand out as he let a leaf fall into his palms. "Soobin and I dated in high school. For about four years, to be exact," Just as I thought Beomgyu would face me, he froze. I wouldn't doubt it if the realization hit him then. "He was my ex. We broke up in our last year of high school."

"Yewon, you..." He trailed off, blinking profusely. "You were that girl?"

"Yes," I admitted, staring up at the tilted branches. I gave them a soft smile, hoping that they'd understand why I was so eager to let go of the truth: if Soobin wouldn't be the one to hear me out, then at least his ex-best friend could. "We broke up because he posted a video of me and him fighting out of context, blurring out faces, making it look like he was the victim. Nobody knew what I looked like, but they knew my voice. Everyone knew him and I were a thing, and that laugh of his was a dead give away."

I swallowed hard as Beomgyu now stared at me, his face contorted in pure confusion. "Nobody believed me. Nobody wanted to hear my perspective. That argument stemmed from his desire to make us a secret couple, where he questioned if it was worth being with me–and made me look bad," I felt my tears build up, ready to pour. "I haven't recovered to this day. I know it went viral around our school and on the internet. I took a gap year because everyone knew me as Soobin's toxic ex. I was considered the biggest villain."

I sniffled, leaning my head back. Don't cry in front of him, Yewon. You've already done it twice. "He's never laid his hands on me consistently. He's just been argumentative and toxic, feigning silence when he's problematic. He's made me feel like a manipulator, when it's always been him," Beomgyu's lips were slowly agape. That's why I'm swearing revenge. That's why all I'm doing for this film is for me to get back at him and show him what it's like to appear as the bad guy. I know it's bad because in this sense, I'm using you, aren't I? I'm using everyone to an extent in hopes that I could make him feel the slightest bit worse, but to be truthful, I don't think I've gotten very far. I just learned that the reason he did it was so that he could shut me up. He hated hearing me talk about so many things."

I paused, reaching out my hand. As a leaf fell onto my fingertips, tears fell. "If only I... I knew, then maybe we could've solved things rationally," I whispered. "If only I wasn't such a fool, then maybe... maybe I wouldn't be such a coward, solving things through other people."

Anyway, I should stop acting like this. I'm probably scaring him to death. Although my feelings were genuine, I already know it's better to mask them like before. Who knows what Beomgyu thinks of me now. "Yewon," I hummed, shifting his direction. "Can I... brush your tears away?"

"I..." I hesitated, finding his words borderline hilarious. "I guess so."

He came forward and brushed his thumbs against my upper cheeks, driving them away from my nose. Beomgyu wiped his hands against his jeans, lifting them back in the air. "Can I hug you?"

"Beomgyu, you don't have to ask me every time. Of course you can."

He didn't take long to swallow me in his embrace, hands gently pressing on my middle back. "Consider me a dead man if I ever lay a hand on you without your permission, Yewon," His words were small whispers into my ear. "I'm so proud of you. You've come so far. You're really strong."

His compliments were endless and I swore I almost choked up another sob. "I don't know what's going to happen between you both, and I still don't know the whole story that occurred–but just know that I'd never abandon you. I will always support you even if he tries to break you. I promise to be your new flame, burning hell on those who try to hurt you."

I couldn't say anything, just letting my fingers feel the fabric of his shirt. "Like I said that night he left you on the street... use me. I want to show him what you're capable of, and I'll make sure he realizes... what he's missing."

I reached for my wallet as I entered the bus, but Beomgyu already hit the scanner twice. "It's for two people, please," The bus driver nodded, got the payment, and let us on. I gazed at him, bewildered, but he pushed me into the bus because I was holding up the line. I sat by the window, a seat almost at the back, and Beomgyu took a seat right next to me.

I frowned, staring at him as he sighed in relief. "Thank god we got on the last bus. I would think that we wouldn't have made it and we'd have to walk back from the exhibit!"

"You're such a loser. You didn't have to pay for me," I replied, upset. "I have money too! I'm a university student just like you!"

"Stop being such a whiner. You can pay me back with your time tomorrow. Don't forget that we have to fix the broadcast cameras," I rolled my eyes, ignoring his statement. "Besides, you'd take too long searching through your bag. You have too many things in there."

"You don't know that!" I bickered, pointing at him, ready to make a scene. "Why are you always so selfless? Beomgyu, I'll be just fine with my own things, and–"

"Okay, okay," He ushered for my hand to return to my lap. "Stop pointing and making a ruckus. It's ten at night, and people are trying to sleep on their way home. As nocturnal as you are, we need to be accommodating to everyone else."

There he went again, being selfless. I hated that he was also so kind to others who had no feelings to concern him. It was painful, as someone who's been there, to see how willing he is to be stepped on. I turned away from him, looking outside at the gloomy scenery, illuminated by street lights and empty houses. "There you go again," I muttered, crossing my arms from the cold air. "Selfless."

"Considerate is the better word–at least, in your case," Beomgyu rebuked, opening his backpack and taking out the cam recorder. I forgot that he's been recording behind-the-scenes videos of us. We both stared at it as he opened it up and began recording–but as the bus moved, he placed it on his bag, facing us. I huffed, going back to watching the soaked concrete reflect against traffic lights. "Yewon."

"What?" I uttered, and suddenly, I felt something against my ear. Instead of flinching, the touch is different, and it's almost as if it feels... good.

"Do you want to... listen to music with me?" He asked, tilting his head. I tried to turn my head, but he seemed to panic. "Wait, don't turn. I'll just put the earbud in for you!"

"What's the matter–" Then, the music resounds in my ears, and it's soft. I thought about facing him, but after his words before, I obliged for the sake of not embarrassing him. After all, he hated when I saw him in an awkward position. "I didn't know you were the type of person to listen to basic instruments. I thought you'd like pop or hard rock."

"That's interesting," His voice is tuned out by the music, but I can still hear him well enough to respond. "What kind of music do you listen to?"

"This kind," I smiled. "That's why I like it, although it shocks me that we are so similar. Although there is a difference between us, how we act, who we are, and our backgrounds... we're two people of the same kind. Thankfully, we met."

His silence scared me for a moment, to the point I turned in his direction. He's already staring, the right earbud attached to his ear, a moment that's quietly catastrophic because of the people, and only romantic in the movies. I inhaled to say something, but he interrupted just in time. "Thankfully," He paused. "I met you."

"H-Huh?" I whispered, watching as his cheeks began to tint red. Beomgyu blinked a few times, more than most, before smiling. "What do you mean?"

"Just as I said," Finally, he broke eye contact, looking out of the window. "My life has been better because of you."

Those feelings were misleading. I was being misled, or I must've been the misleading one. Not anyone can say that to a friend, and even if they could... in such a short time? I always knew how sweet yet chaotic Beomgyu was, but he was never so soft-spoken. He was never this kind. Maybe I truly did scare him today. Let me apologize. "Beomgyu–"

"Shh," Beomgyu pressed his finger to his lips, furrowing his eyebrows. "Let's peacefully take you back to the dormitory, okay? I know you're tired, so let's talk about it another day."

He did it. Read right through me. God, he could do it before too! Now, he could do it even better knowing about the shit I went through. I hate it when he does that.

I hate a lot of things about him, apparently, but not enough of them to let him go.