𝖓𝖔𝖑𝖊𝖓𝖘, 𝖛𝖔𝖑𝖊𝖓𝖘.

•••

“I take it that Eduan already knows about me being Lady Arlene’s— no, the Grace Family’s contractual slave, am I wrong?”

V squeezed the spearbearer’s tightening fists with his own assuringly, accompanied by a gentle gaze as if coaxing a temperamental child. “I know that other regions including Eduan’s principality had begun slowly abolishing the slavery system, but it wasn’t always so bad.”

The latter restrained himself from reacting, but to be perfectly honest, V, however much Eduan likes him, is not exactly the brightest person to confront to when it comes to forming a logical perspective on things. I mean, just look at him— finding and focusing on the positive aspects of something as morally degrading as slavery. Burying away those thoughts beneath his subconscious, the spearbearer listened intently.

“Grand Duke Grace, Lady Arlene’s grandfather, rescued my surviving siblings and I from a crime syndicate’s trafficking ring as we were about to cross the capitol’s border to become test subjects. His Excellency exuded sophistication and magnanimity, someone who treated his subjects without prejudice and bias regardless of social class, but was ruthless to those who was set to face due punishment— some of the many reasons why the majority (if not all) of the South became a devout follower of the Grace Family.” V released Eduan’s palms and lifted his own, streaks of purplish-blue light flowing ribbon-like until its tips formed miniature figurines that mimicked the redeeming features of the prominent people in the former’s life, moving along his will as he reiterated his story. “Of course, His Excellency had his personal favorites which were a handful; including the eldest and the Dukedom’s heir apparent, the Young Lord, and his prized granddaughter, Young Lady Arlene Grace.”

Two of the characters were set aside as figurines bearing hair of chestnut brown were introduced, one significantly smaller than the other which seem to symbolize V himself. “I first met Lady Arlene when my brother— well, sworn brother, and I first crossed paths with her after she had escaped her guards while doing our errands at the red-light district where the most confidential transactions occur. The Little Miss of course, because of her sheltered life, was poorly disguised, so she attracted many who thought they could sell her for a hefty price.”

“What a dumb child,” the bluenet scoffed at the figurine, perhaps a little louder than he had originally intended.

“Hey, rude!”

Eduan shrugged, not even trying to look the least bit apologetic about the insult he threw as he rolled his eyes in pure criticism. “I’m just saying. Arlene Grace is a pure-blooded aristocrat. She cannot conceal that by merely wearing lesser quality, but still obnoxiously expensive articles of clothing. Whoever thought of that disguise should have had their wages cut off.”

“Anyway,” V huffed fondly before continuing, lips pursed into a defeated pout. “By some kind of miracle, Brother and I somehow managed to fend off her pursuers and bring the young lady back to the estate all in one piece.”

“Let me guess, that damned old man—” the former drew in a sharp breath as he made the figurine dissolve before their eyes in spite. “The Grand Duke, thought it was a genius idea to immediately make victims of human trafficking as his grandchildren’s personal slaves. That does not actually make one feel any better. You know that, right?”

“For better or for worse,” the atmosphere between the both of them turned frigid, forcing the spearbearer to stand down. “We lived better lives than we could have ever possibly imagined under the Grace’s— together. When Brother was promoted as one of Lady Arlene’s personal bodyguards and I as the Young Lord’s manservant, saving up enough fortune to buy our freedom suddenly wasn’t such a farfetched thought anymore.”

That shut him up. He was insensitive. Perhaps all these years caused him to almost forget that not everyone lived such an extravagantly privileged life as himself. Eduan’s chest was tight, and if he ever felt like cursing— whether it would be a jab at the heavens or at himself for feeling unreasonably helpless, he cannot say for sure.

“If life had been so perfect, then what went wrong?” ‘Where did it go so wrong for you, V?’

“What indeed?” the shinsu died down, calmed unto a deep, undisturbed lull, and plastered upon V’s lips was a bittersweet smile. “Was it when the Young Lord died? Or was it when the other vassals started pressuring the family to produce another heir when the little miss was yet at the prime of her life?”

Whatever it was, it must have been long and arduous— a deeper reasoning than such a half-assed answer like that, because Eduan had been looking V’s way long enough to be able to tell when he was not telling the full truth.

“Lady Arlene was distraught the most, of course,  because it was her brother who lost his life in front of her. Grand Duke Grace must have been equally traumatized from losing his heir and favorite grandson, that he immediately decreed a crest to be engraved with an ancient spell that bounded both a slave and its master’s lives.”

The bluenet’s world halted for a single moment as he unconsciously sat up. The pounding of his heart reaching his ears, seemingly constricting his airway.

‘No.’

“Surely, you do not mean that...” He fucking does, Eduan.

V was a man riddled with sincerity in his bones, and that sincerity was starting to break the said man into pieces, vulnerable for bloodsucking leeches to feast on. The ravenet slid the collar and sleeve of his loose shirt exposing the back of his left shoulder and rubbed it, revealing a seal carving of a branch of plum blossoms faintly visible to an unaided eye.

“Beautiful,” he whispered before being taken aback.

Plum blossoms.

The Grace Family’s insignia.

“Should the owner be faced with any type of threat, and the slave would breach the contract, betraying its master in any way, shape, or form, the contractor’s life force shall be reduced as collateral.”

Eduan recoiled as V shivered from the cold of his fingertips, yet allowed him to continue tracing the remnants of the crest until the palm enclosed his wrist. “This is bullshit.”

“Not bullshit.” V faced the window with a solemn expression like he had long accepted his fate, but the shaking hand now intertwined with the bluenet’s told the latter otherwise. “Punishment.”

Punishment? The wavecontroller’s eyes were steady, yet the moonlight accentuating the amethyst irises made him appear more distant and unreachable— like any second now he was going to disappear into the darkness. “The heir apparent dying was no mere accident. And my brother was the cause.”

“This is madness, V.” And Khun Eduan was beyond mad. His fury was seething and intense, only needing a last push to explode and punish those that have wronged V. “How could the reputable Grand Duke allow an innocent soul to bear a sin you did not commit? Has he gone senile to the point of not imparting better judgement?”

“Calm yourself, Eduan.” Ugly. He had shown ugliness in front of V, hasn’t he? His anger transcends the need for words, but it was as ugly as it was unstable, and such ugliness does not deserve to taint V’s sight. And so, he must endure. “The deed has been done, and Brother is long gone now.”

Knowing that the South was a region keen on keeping tradition, there was only one outcome to expect. “Where has he gone?”

“Death.” The ravenet faltered for a moment, but Eduan squeezed his hand reassuringly and made him face him. “I drove him there, isn’t it so tragic? But, this is a choice I had to make so that the little family I had left could live on. Honestly, can you blame me?”

For a filial person like V, compared to the thought of his family spending their lifetime ostracized for being associated with an alleged traitor while slaving away without a certain future, his life becoming a shield for the Grace Family was a minute sacrifice, because V is good and deserved the whole world. But, Eduan was not V, and he doesn’t know the things that his best friend had decided to hide from him, so he cannot accept such a choice. Why would one live a life atoning for the sin of another? How could one entrust protection of the sibling of the murderer to the victim’s sister?

What a complicated life to live.

“I hope that you’ll one day find it in your heart to be lenient with Lady Arlene, Eduan. She isn’t such a horrible person, you know? She’s just...”

‘What a complicated woman, you love.’

“... Broken.”

Eduan sighed, both wistfully and out of displeasure, before dragging V back into bed. His right arm hooked around the man’s neck and his left hand still entwined with the other’s. With all the information that bombarded him, he had forgotten that the raven was still ridden with sickness, his nape as hot as the breath that fanned his face, and eyes as bloodshot as before. Before his best friend could protest, the spearbearer cooled his body with his shinsu making his breathing stabilize.

The bluenet stared some more, and pondered if wanting someone he can obviously never have was a sin. He settled with a small smile and ruffling his fading black hair. “In this day and age, who isn’t?”

Eduan thought about how long it probably took to arrive at a point where he was indispensable, how much pain he was forced to overcome, how young V was to endure such a harsh environment without the support of his whole family, and how he was plausibly brainwashed to be able look at the people that enslaved him at such a pedestal. Eduan thought about it and it rekindled his rage. But what right did he have to be angry on V’s behalf?

A fool.

Gazing at V now was a luxury he have always wanted to have. So strong, his body toned and chiseled to perfection, yet ridiculously kind, delicate, and fragile that he wanted to keep him caged in hopes that only he can be witness to his weakness and own a part of V that Arlene Grace, nor anyone else can never dream to have.

They were all fools fighting with one another, playing games under the palms of each other’s hands in different leveled fields.

Would it be a mistake if he were to ever label this emotion? He cannot bear to burden V with such a fleeting feeling, so maybe he would have to bury them all in— the anger and resentment, the desire to destroy the cause for his pain and misery, the love— everything, until it strips him bare and swallows him whole.

But, perhaps, Khun Eduan was the biggest fool out of them all.

ー・ー

The Family Head wakes up to the cold, with something blocking the sunlight from irritating his adjusting sight. Although he did not remember letting his guard down this much and allowing himself the fortune of a moment’s relaxation, this was not an era of war, the Khun Family Estate will not crumble without a full day of their master’s watchful guide. The bluenet blinks once, twice— a couple times more, to clear his blurred vision before catching a glimpse of a pair of hands and long brown locks blown gently by the winter breeze, sending goosebumps through his skin.

“V...?”

“I guess this will not be the first and last time you will be mistaking me as my father, my Lord.” ‘Viole.’ Eduan hid his disappointment and brought back his impeccable composure, as Bam sat on the snow. “It’s the 134th time, is it not?”

“134th?”

“I count,” the younger shrugged and aided the spearbearer in brushing the snow off his unimaginably thin robe.

The latter observed in silence and realized how much time had indeed passed them by. To be fair, he had long lost awareness after millennia of acquiring the Contract of Immortality, but it did affect those around his domain. The child— V’s child, whom he first saw as a weak but safely delivered newborn crouched over the aforementioned’s shoulder, then one whose neck was asphyxiated that it snapped into two, another who was a savage that one of his sons propped up out of nowhere who knew nothing of this world, now has grown to become one of his finest soldiers, and a carbon copy of the man who continued to solely hold his affections within centuries.

“Weren’t you scheduled to oversee an inspection? How could you be back so soon?” Not that he doubts the former’s skills which were terrifyingly improving, but the Khun Family Estate was not a small territory for him to travel and arrive too fast. The brigade must have lagged behind Viole and would be arriving at a later date.

“Fortune had shone upon me, and I finished my work and training sessions a week earlier than scheduled. Speaking of work, the Head Butler had been turning the palace upside-down for the past hours because someone promised that he would attend this year’s Princess of Jahad Selection.” Bam glared at him, his superior (the audacity of the midget, I know), scoldingly before switching back to a demeanor comprised of youthful vigor. “So, I thought I might be able to lend the staff a hand.”

“Liar~” He teased, easily earning a childish whine.

An open book. His son’s choice was rather peculiar for a Khun. “The Head Butler part was at least true. But, how did you know?”

“You bite on something when you lie. Your lips, your inner cheek, your tongue.” Just like V used to do. The latter once told him it was to feel a grounding sense whenever he felt like the situation was spiralling out of control. The habit seemed to have tamed as the years progressed. That, or V just had gotten better at hiding things from him.

“It’s your son.” The brunet heaved out an exasperated sigh as he dropped and lied on the ground, gazing over the open wide sky, not batting an eye at the pile of snow that was melting underneath the heat of his body. “He keeps on babying me and I am starting to find it taxing. I didn’t graduate as one of the best to be treated like an infant.”

“To be fair with regards to skill, compared to him, you are an infant.”

“My Lord!”

Eduan laughed at Bam’s expense, but laid on the snow beside the younger child which lowkey irritated the latter, but slowly accepted because the master of the house was as relentless as a firecracker. “Trust the son of Agnis. That offspring of mine might get too self-sacrificial when it comes to you, but he is smart enough to know that for you to survive, he needs to survive as well. My genes are stronger than you think, Viole.”

“I do trust Aguero.”

“Then, why did you accept Arlene’s so-called protegé so casually in your home?”

“I trust Aguero, but not the people around him, my Lord. Lady Maria and Rachel-ssi seem to want something from Aguero and is using me to reign him in. You make the same expression when a troublesome vassal had enough guts to challenge your authority and you are milking them dry.”

He almost snorted, but held it in. “Is that so?”

“Yes.”

Then, the Family Head’s eyes narrowed, his voice becoming stern. “It seemed that you have spent too much time hanging out with me then. Was that also why you’ve been building your immunity to poison behind his back?”

Bam’s lips parted then closed, but gave up resisting in the end. “Yes... my Lord.”

Fools.

Silence lingered around them as the elder gazed at the sky painted with gray and blue. Now that he thought about it, wasn’t it around this season that Viole was originally born? “Foolish children. Were you always so willing to die for love?”

“Was your generation not?”

‘Not?’ Eduan almost cackled. All of them were shattered by love. For love, Eduan climbed the Tower to gain everything he was ought to offer because he wanted a reason for V to stay. Arlene ruined V with sickening satisfaction because she loved him. Meanwhile, V was an entity that received love only to automatically return it tenfold, even if it meant being taken advantage by literally almost everyone. Such a fickle emotion like love picked them apart and took everything they had to offer until there was nothing left, destroyed them bare and sold their souls to the devil.

But, wasn’t that love that made V so sought after?

“My Lord once told me to think about what should I fear more than death.”

“Your answer?”

“I think I’d prefer dying than losing your son.” ‘Like father, like son.’ Unfortunately (or fortunately?), Aguero feels the same. The spearbearer exhaled. “Are you not confident of your prized student, my Lord?”

“Heh,” the man scoffed, knocking the brunet’s forehead. “Kiss-ass.”

Eduan took one last glance at the dimming sky before standing up. Just like one of those days, he used shinsu to make them both seem presentable and could have used it to transport them back to the palace, but he wasn’t quite feeling it just yet.

“Lord Khun Eduan,” Bam called out as he walked behind the irregular, responded to him with a faint hum of acknowledgement. “I am not V. My father and I are different people. You know that somehow, right?”

The child must have noticed him treating him like a ghost of another, even until now. He was frighteningly perceptive like that, that Eduan was compelled to apologize. But, he was a fool, and something was telling him this would be the last time in a while that they will be in each other’s company.

“I know.” Next time, for sure.

“And unlike him, I will not die.”

ー

The sun had just set and the Khun Family Head was waiting— in sheer, utter, wretched, agony for the event to finally begin when the wintry breeze grew stronger and the window pane opened followed by footsteps of the intruder that had stepped foot inside his personal quarters.

“I heard you and Bam entered the palace gates together.” After Jue Viole Grace came Aguero Agnis. How lucky was he to have children simultaneously visit him in the midst of deep thought? “How is he?”

“He’s willing to do everything for you, but you won’t let him. He can become your greatest shield and soldier if you wanted to.” He crossed his legs and threw a piercing stare towards Aguero. “Do not try to force a shark to become a minnow.”

The younger Khun’s gaze turned blank as he sat on the window’s ledge, adjacent to Eduan. “I know that, but can you truly blame me?”

The question sounded familiar in more ways than one, but Eduan refused to answer. Why should he when it is fairly obvious?

“‘I am not V. My father and I are different people.’ Viole told me that earlier. But in truth, it’s both you and I that differ, right?” Because he is capable of exterminating anyone to obtain his goal. Because unlike his cute son who still cries while sacrificing another, he had become an immortal, unchanged being beyond salvation.

‘Because, unlike I whose beloved died for me to survive, you are not willing to let him die for you.’

“You’re leaving tonight.”

Aguero seemed surprised, and not at the same time, because the spearbearer had always been one step ahead of him. “It’s time.”

“Contact me when something’s up, will you?” The smaller bluenet stared at him incredulously as his father rang the bell to call his servants in. They’ll see each other sooner or later, because as Aguero once said, he will not be staying here forever.

“You know,” the Agnis spoke, Eduan’s tall, but weighed down back faced against him. “If I could have gone back further in time, then maybe you would not be so miserable. So, I’m at least sorry for that.”

The latter paused, mumbling beneath his breath. “Further in time...?”

“Transgression.” Eyes of different shades of blue clashed, and the older Khun searched for answers. 

Eduan’s feet started moving by itself towards his son, but he only received a cryptic smile as the other leaned back the window to free fall. “Wait!”

“Why did you not wish to turn back time, Father?”

‘It was possible. I was right.’ He wanted to howl at the moon in crazed laughter as his heart— or what was left of it, sunk in greater despair.

“Why indeed?” Eduan clutched on his aching chest as unwanted memories resurfaced before the knock on his door made him force it back. “V.”

‘It’s going to be lonely again from here on out.’

You fool.