the day has long set.

yet, even now,
i'm still having a
hard time absorbing
and taking all the
events in stride.

i mean, my origins being
discovered was one thing,
but the confession was
an entirely different matter
that went beyond
my common sense.

someone actually liked me.

khun eduan-
he feels like he wants me.
thinks he wants me.
says he wants me.

i've never felt such
happiness and heartbreak
simultaneously in my life.

it's funny how my last entry
was all about berating
you sacrificing everything
you held dear for
the one you loved,
when i'm here trying
to prevent the same thing
from happening all over again.

rejection might not be
the most foolproof plan,
but i'll take what i can get.

i can't fall with
just one simple kiss.

i can't let eduan
revere me as his world.

because my life
is not mine to control.

as much as i want to
acknowledge these
budding emotions,
as much as i desire
to explore further,
doing so would be
pure selfishness.

so, like a timeless piece
of jewelry no price can ever
match the value of,
i shall keep the remnants
of this silly infatuation
locked within the treasury—
caged inside a glass container—
only to be admired,
never to be touched.

so forgive me god,
if it hurts this much,

then, i must have
liked khun eduan
more than i thought.

, V.