⚠ SERIES ADVISORY ⚠

This chapter (and perhaps the chapters that precede this) contains depictions and/or strong implications of the following:

• Sexual Content
• Drugging
• Attempted Suicide/Suicidal Ideation

Reach out for help if:

• You or someone you know is experiencing a crisis;
• You are worried about a friend or loved one; or
• You need emotional support.

READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

•••

𝖛𝖎𝖙𝖆 𝖘𝖔𝖒𝖓𝖎𝖚𝖒 𝖇𝖗𝖊𝖛𝖊.

•••

130th Floor ;
Khun Eduan ;

“Can’t you let him go?”

Khun Eduan internally groaned as he staggered against the nearest tree he could reflexively hold on to amid his drunken stupor. It has been several weeks. Five floors came and went since then, yet he avoided all those involved like the plague, because crossing paths with them is synonymous to allowing anger and guilt to consume him. Anger towards his teammates who could not seem to get a hint. Anger towards the world that kept cornering him to a standstill. Anger, because it seems like whatever he does will never be enough to prove his willingness to risk everything for love.

Guilt, because both his inability and resolve will inevitably cause V misery.

If it had been the Eduan of the past, he might have already gotten the guy. Chained the man down to his side for all eternity (albeit using a little force, but there’s nothing a little apology cannot do in the name of love, right?). But, loving someone who is the embodiment of all good things in the tower required a lot of patience, and ironically, the least sense. His thoughts were always in a state of disarray, and he learned that his ideals of happiness does not cycle around his own anymore.

Well shit. Indeed, being lovesick was bad for his heart.

「 SPLASH. 」

The sound of waves crashing against the seashore brought him back to reality— one with an impending hangover, at that. He was really out of it, every breath he took, every move he made, all traced back to only one person. Will it be even worse if he says he is currently witnessing the said person plunging unto the sea until the water was chest-deep?

“Hey,” he called, though unsure, but still approached the shoreline, where a familiar set of fabric laid. “What are you doing, playing in the water so late at night—”

A broken hair tie. Uneven strands of chestnut brown hair scattered along the sand. Fragments of a ripped jeogori.

A chill ran down Eduan’s spine as he spent all his willpower to rip his eyes off of the items towards the figure he had seen earlier. Unimaginable thoughts slowly crept unto his soul like the foam prickling his feet, as he unknowingly shook as if he was drenched in ice-cold water.

Why is he not coming back to the surface?

Though, there was one thought that prevailed.

And why were his clothes so dishe—

Then, it clicked. Today was the birthday banquet. The matchmaking event the elders planned to knock the heir down a few peg and create an opening. He intentionally avoided them throughout the night, but if they were unable to catch wind of him, who would be the next, most vulnerable, easier to manipulate, target?

‘No.’

They could not possibly have chosen to capture his team out of all those people.

‘It can’t be.’

“V?!”

Or maybe, there was never a need to choose anybody else.

‘Shit!’

“V!”

The spearbearer ran into the sea as fast as he possibly could, completely forgetting that reaching the man would have been twice as fast if only he had utilized shinsu. But that didn't matter as much as saving V from drowning did. Eduan removed all that weighed and slowed him down, then dove towards the brunet. This brown haired bastard, whose eyes were vivid and expression so serene while staring at the opaque refractions of light as he sunk deeper and deeper into sea. He, who did not show any sign of struggle in the past minutes that the lack of oxygen obviously began to constrict his lungs. V, who visibly panicked at the sight of the former reaching for him and tried to pry the firm grip around his waist away as he lifted them both to the surface.

“What—” the bluenet coughed, liquid exiting his throat and welling up in the corners of his eyes as he gasped for air, the remaining functional part of himself trying its best to process what just happened. “— the hell did you think you were doing?!”

What really happened.

V gazed blankly towards him as he was absentmindedly led to shore. The moment recognition seemingly hit him, he flashed a smile, yet the gesture did not provide the spearbearer the same sense of comfort it did before.

“I know you might have heard this a thousand times already,” he started, awkwardly evading Eduan’s touch like it burned. “But you’re really pretty. And I’m just thinking about how wonderful must it be, to be killed by something as beautiful as you.”

The Khun did not really know what he had expected from him after witnessing the stunt first-hand. Perhaps, it was an apology. Maybe genuine stress or anything that implied hesitation or impulse, but neither of those were what Eduan saw amidst the crystal clear waves. There was no trace of fear. Only emptiness.

Only acceptance.

He could barely breathe as every cell in his brain kept thinking about how V was on the verge of drowning himself. But as long as his companion remained silent for now, he might just be able to compose himself enough to not break down in front of him.

“But an irritating, irrational feeling suddenly came over me. ‘Ah, this man will not be able to follow through. He might even influence me to cater to second thoughts.’ So, I just went with the next best thing, remembered how much I loved the sea, and voila! Here I am.”

Clearly, the heavens were not siding with the bluenet these days. And no matter how much he wanted to deny the facts, he could not escape from this. Not this time.

“I thought about how perfect everything seemed. There were no clouds in the sky hiding the moon and stars, nor were there any predicted disturbances. I was completely alone, and it was peaceful.”

V knew how to swim. Hell, he was one of the best swimmers out of the thirteen of them. V’s shinsu attribute took the form of water, and the element loved so much that controlling it was like breathing. What was worse, was that V did attempt suicide. V was ready to die.

“I think I really meant to kill myself today, Eduan.” 

V was ready to die.

“No, no, no...” Something inside the spearbearer finally broke once those words were spoken, his trembling knees buckling as if strength was instantly sucked out of him. “L-Let’s... go back to the mansion and dry ourselves off, why don’t we?”

“Go back?” the brunet's voice cracked with the whisper, yet he kept repeating the same words over and over again, crouching on the sand, hands covering his ears. “I can’t go back... I can’t go back... What is there to return to, when everything has been lost? Go back? Ha!”

“V, calm do—” he was cut off by hysterical laughter.

“HAHAHAHAHA! NO, LET ME GO! YOU CAN’T TOUCH ME AS YOU PLEASE! EDUAN, WHERE ARE YOU?! EDUAN!” A choked sob escaped from the aforementioned’s lips as the dazed man who could not even recognize the person he was calling out to, slapped the hands that were reaching to keep him in place. “Eduan, save me— don’t! Whoever you are, don’t touch me! DO NOT FUCKING TOUCH ME!”

“Shhh...” The bluenet summoned a large, absorbent, but soft fabric from his lighthouse and covered the brunet, the bruises and discoloration on some parts of his skin peeking from the destroyed regions of his clothing never being missed under the former’s watchful gaze. “I’m here, V. Focus on me. Focus only on my voice, okay?”

With V’s scream came the crushing devastation of Eduan's faith that what he feared would not be the truth. But as the wounds he had seen told him plenty and broke his spirit, the rage and remorse he felt for not being present during the time when V needed him the most pooled in the corner of blue orbs and fell seamlessly.

“Please don’t make me go back there... Please don’t let me experience that again... I’ll be good... I’ll be good, I swear...”

The Khun turned away, his back facing opposite the brunet’s face, but his palm spread out. Thankfully, the latter understood the gesture, leaning his face on the bluenet’s shoulder, locking their fingers so tight that rendered it white, before sobbing uncontrollably. V did not want to be held, but that does not mean that he automatically wanted to be alone either. Of course, Eduan will never allow that regardless, after all that had happened.

ー

The spearbearer awoke from his trance as he found himself breathless, gasping for air to reign himself from drowning into the heated kiss. Alarm sirens blaring inside his head when he felt a hand slip underneath his garments, the cold water gushing and slapping against his bare skin, cupping the hardness that sprung from his lower torso, and the piercing stare of the man straddling him against the edge of the bath tub, amplifying the prickling heat of his desire.

Where and what the fuck was he doing again? Oh right, he is currently in the midst of fucking.

“V,” Eduan moaned between their locked lips, gripping the sides of the tub as tightly as how he was holding himself back from slipping his length inside the former on his own if this goes on any longer. “Stop. You’re going to regret thi—”

V lifted the bluenet’s nape, inserting his tongue through the latter’s mouth and sucking the other after mumbling his reply, “I won’t.”

“Liar,” he retorted, gently pushing the wavecontroller’s shoulder away in a manner that wouldn’t offend him, his right palm lingering on the other’s cheek, his warm yet unstable breaths fanning his neck. “See? You’re trembling.”

He tugged on the younger’s waist, causing the brunet to lose the strength that kept him towering over the other, their bodies now pressed together— damp, humid, and naked, but it was none the matter.

“You don’t understand,” V mumbled, resting his head against his bare chest as Eduan placed a light peck on his forehead repeatedly, taming his brown locks with his ironically cold fingertips. “If it’s not your image that I’ll last see when this day ends, I might just go insane.”

ー・ー

“How is he? Did you manage to find out anything?” the Khun heir asked, leaning against the wall in exasperation as he glanced towards V’s unconscious figure intently examined by the private nurses from the slightly opened door adjacent to him.

Eduan had just barely lulled V into slumber, tidying them both up after the breakdown, so it’s a wonder even for himself, how he managed to summon the fewest individuals he knew he could count on regarding matters that involve the brunet, at midnight, in a townhouse within the 125th Floor he had exclusively invested on and purchased without his teammates and men's knowledge.

“You know it has been years since I’ve stopped practicing medicine, so I cannot really give Lord V an accurate diagnosis.” The physician removed his gloves without breaking eye contact, the mock contempt he usually displayed forgotten, indicating how seriously he considers this topic around the wavecontroller to be. “Surely, you’ve already known that it would be best if milord is transferred under the tower’s official medical association’s care. There is a reason why Jahad considered our methods as quackery, after all.”

The bluenet rolled his eyes, though he understood where his animosity stemmed from. Grace Mirchea Luslec gave Jahad’s men quite the dilemma until the point came where their group had to be subdued by the man himself. Fortunately, before the verdict of execution was finalized, V had uncovered that he was a distant but direct descendant of the Grace Family and pardoned not only the man, but his army’s families as well, on the condition that they were to surrender themselves and their identities under V’s jurisdiction. Therefore, if the situation arose, Eduan believed they will do whatever it took to repay their debt.

“What makes you think I failed to notice the mobile laboratory you secretly set up during our expeditions, Luslec?” the latter clicked his tongue in annoyance, but did not deny. Lying in the presence of a Khun was futile, after all. “You seem to be as dedicated to your craft as much as you are dedicated to V, and for me, that is enough to conclude that you will not intentionally bring him potential harm. Besides, this happened within the confines of what V considered as his home, so do I not have any right to suspect that they indeed had taken part in what happened to him?”

Luslec raised his hands in surrender, then proceeded to read the chart he held. “Aside from the wounds and bruises around his joints, thighs, to his upper torso, there seems to be no signs of internal bleeding. His shinsu attribute might have also expelled the water that possibly entered his lungs. Physically, his recovery rate is expectedly faster than most regulars. Psychologically though, we’ll have to wait until he wakes up.”

“Which is?”

“Who knows?” he frowned. “Three days. A week. A whole month. Hand marks, a dislocated hip bone, bruised ribs— whoever did this to Lord V, it could either be more than one people stronger than him, or someone he knew so well that his mind disregarded all defense mechanisms.”

And in terms of strength, V is on par with Jahad, Yurin, and Eduan, which meant that the latter had a stronger probability of happening. Luslec brought out his pocket, his expression shifting from worry to horrified, reading the notification’s contents.

“I just received an update from his tests. There is a sample of a potent drug that matched what was found in his sysem.”

“Drugs?” ‘They even drugged him? How were they so fucking brave?’

“Macseth recently patented a machine that could detect foreign substances that enters the bloodstream, and one of my subordinates suggested we test Lord V’s blood to see if something came up. Numerous trial-and-errors will still be required to ensure, but so far, that paralysis drug is the closest thing we have to the truth.”

“That doesn’t make sense. You know that those kinds of drugs do not work on V.” Eduan cannot exactly explain why, but he figured V had built resistance on certain poisons and drugs if he spent his daily life taste-testing Arlene’s meals.

“If it’s that, then it might make sense for Lord V to be affected.” Luslec stared at the spearbearer wearily, as if a memory washed over him like a whiplash. “I don’t know if you’ve heard of this, but there is this concoction our elders used to force our S-Class criminals to intake to torture them for information. Some practitioners refer to it as a paralysis drug, though it is actually a tranquilizer— sort of. It paralyzes its victims’ bodies, but the consciousness is heightened.” Which meant that whatever is inflicted upon them, they were fully aware.

Which meant that whatever torture V had gone through, he was awake through every second of it, and he had to engrave inside his mind the face of the culprit who defiled him.

“If there is anything that doesn’t make sense here, it would be how they got a hold of the drug, because as far as I know, manufacturing and purchasing even the ingredients require the approval of our region, the South or the Central Kingdom.”

‘Oh my god.’ Eduan’s strength almost left his body instantly, but he inhaled sharply, grasping hold of his remaining restraint.

‘I am going to fucking kill them.’

“S-Stay away!”

The deafening sound of the fallen metal tray and apparatus breaking was more than enough indication for both Eduan and Luslec to stop talking. Sure enough, they were met with the brunet kneeling atop his mattress in a defensive stance, the IV disconnected from his arm, a nurse’s fountain pen in his right hand, the pure white sheets dyed drips of crimson.

“Who are you?! Where am I?!”

“My Lord,” Luslec spoke calmly but the tremor in his voice did not go unnoticed. “We will not harm you, alright? So take deep breaths, and—”

“I said stay away! STAY AWAY!” V screamed even louder, flailing the pen’s sharp tip against anyone who tried to pacify him, even as tears cascaded endlessly down his cheeks, blurring his vision. “DO NOT TOUCH ME! GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME!”

Eduan needed to get the brunet to drop that thing before it hurts him, but with such alarm, it might be close to impossible. As V attempted to escape, a wrong step made him stumble back into the bed, his back hitting the headboard, which sent him into a worse panicked state. He started gasping for breath between sobs and whimpers, hugging his knees and hiding his face, as if shielding his body from everything and everyone.

“Lord V—”

“No more... No more... Let me go...” V cried, the once resolute and unswerving man everyone in the room looked up to was nowhere to be found. “Let me go.”

“We’re not here to harm you, V.” The wavecontroller flinched, so the Khun waited to see if there were any violent reactions before he approached closer, repeating, “We will not harm you. We will never harm you.”

The former’s body shook more vigorously. “That’s what they said— what she said. That’s what they all said before—!” he cried harder, the reality hitting. “Before pounding on me, playing me like I’m some kind of animal! Where had you gone then, huh?! Where were you now?!”

V did his best to pry his hands away, accidentally stabbing Eduan with the pen on the shoulder, but the latter bound his hands and embraced his whole figure with one arm. Never did he imagine seeing V feel so small until now.

“You told me you’ll always be here for me, Eduan. But why weren’t you there? Why didn’t you save me?” Every word felt like flames scorching his insides, adding to the searing pain of his shoulder, but he’ll live. He can handle anything, except seeing V in pain knowing all he could do was watch as he relives the scenes countless times inside his head. Knowing there could have been a million ways to prevent this, but he was not around to stop it from happening. “Nowhere is safe anymore. Why can’t I be happy? Why must I always suffer? What heinous sin did I commit to live like this?”

“I’m sorry I was late. You’re safe now. You’re safe.” The bluenet whispers exactly that, combing through tangled brown locks, but in truth, those words were only a means of comfort toward the failure that was himself. “Nothing and no one will think of hurting even a single strand of your hair ever again, so long as I am here. So let’s drop the pen and help these people heal you, hmm?”

“O-Okay.” He paused briefly, trying to soothe his breathing despite the vivid fear in his eyes. “You won’t leave?”

“I won’t.”

“When I wake up, you’ll still be here?”

“I will.”

The wavecontroller held out his pinky hopefully, which made his companion chuckle a bit. “Promise?”

“I promise.”

He returned the gesture, and after V was stable enough to be put to sleep, he called for Luslec once more, speaking in tones hushed enough to not disturb him, the other nurses tending to his wound.

“Are you still acquainted with the Grace Family’s Main Branches?”

“We are but distant relatives, so it was nothing short of a miracle that Lord V deemed us useful enough to be granted salvation.” The fisherman caught onto his unspoken thoughts. “The masters we serve would not matter as long as we wouldn’t sully the Graces’ name.”

“Then become V’s personal doctor.” Eduan declared firmly, his sight still locked on the aforementioned’s slumbering figure, his thumb caressing his knuckles. “You must never speak nor think about anything you’ve witnessed. This manor’s existence and V’s condition will be kept under wraps until I say otherwise. If a single information is leaked, you shall be tracked down and three of your generations will be subjected to familial extermination. Am I heard?”

As they all bowed, it was evident how willing they were to lay their lives down for V. At least, in that matter, their goals align.

“Yes, my Lord.”

‘If I were to hide him, will the thought of leaving never cross his mind again?’