Dear Johnny,

It started in the third grade. We were best friends back then. We hung out with Hannah and Alex too, but I was closer to you than I was to them. Destiny always said we would get together someday, but we always told her to shut up. Then I moved. That's when I realized how I felt about you. I thought that I would never see you again, despite having only moved three towns over, so it didn't matter. I mean, I was only eight at the time.

Then I moved again. We were in the same county this time, but I'd all but forgotten about you. It was the summer before sixth grade, and I was surprised to see you at the county band camp. That's when my feelings resurfaced. We hung out a lot that week, whenever we could, and we promised to see each other next year.

The problem with that was the next year, you preferred my brother. You ignored me, talking to him the whole time. When I saw you at All-District Auditions months later, you apologized, saying you actually hated my brother, but I was still wary of you two. It wasn't the first time my brother had stolen one of my best friends. Remember when my brother started dating Alex? She stopped talking to us completely after that.

Band camp the next year was better. You talked to me and pretended my brother didn't exist. You introduced me to your friends from school, one I'd been in class with in third grade but didn't remember. I figured you were done with my brother. That is, until All-District Auditions came up and I got ignored yet again.

Then came high school. We weren't in the same band camp anymore. They separated schools because we needed to work on our separate shows for that year. I saw you at various band competitions, and you always smiled and waved at me. We didn't really get to talk until All-District Auditions. I introduced you to my band friends. We hung out a lot. You basically stuck to me like glue. I was happy you weren't talking to my brother.

It was a few years of that cycle. We talked at band functions. You didn't talk to my brother. Then I found you on Facebook. I was so excited. We started talking on Facebook every week. When I mentioned I didn't go to Prom, you said you would've taken me if we went to school together. I turned red as a tomato when I read that. I typed back that I wished we went to the same school then, and it turned awkward.

Now it's the summer before senior year. I wish I could tell you how I've felt the past nine years, but that wouldn't be fair to either of us. We don't even go to school together. So maybe writing this will help me cope with not telling you.

Love, Emma