On my way to home I was smiling like I never smiled before. I was really happy that he read the letter and also wanted to know me. I know if he sees me, he will hate me instantly coz who will like this chubby chashmish and not so fair complexion. He himself told me this when he ragged me. That time I didn't mind but now thinking about it scares the shit out of me.

I reached my home where I am bound to live with my family until I survive on my own. But it's not like they pay for my fees and feed me. The entire royalty they have and the money they spend so lavishly is mine and only mine. Not a single penny belongs to them. Neither I want money nor them. I once expected them to be my everything but now they are nothing to me.

I went to my room and after my business I started to think what to write him and I know if I think I couldn't put my thoughts into words so I started to write.

Hi Sunayn!!

How are u?

I know u might be trying to find me but don't stress urself searching for me and waste ur time. I want u to focus on urself rather than me.

If u wanted to know how I am then let me tell u I am fine Sunayn very fine. Well we can talk about me later. So, let me tell u about my experience when I saw a horror movie...

I sat with my friend in front of TV that day and to my surprise she brought a horror movie rather than a cliché romantic movie. I was shivering from inside when the movie started, I was screaming, shouting, begging her to stop it but she didn't hear and made me watch half of it. And I swear I cried till she switched off and the idiot was laughing looking at me. I really hated her for doing that to me. Till then she understood that it was waste for her to make me watch a horror movie. Thank god thereafter she didn't get any horror movie to watch except for a comedy or historical movie as such..

It was really a great fun watching movies and all but now it seems nothing. Truth to be told sometimes past gives us immense happiness that we wanted to relive the moment every now and then. Bitter reality is we cant do that:(

Ok I will talk to u in the next letter and pls don't search for me.

Your's well-wisher.....

Bye..

I folded the letter and kept it in my bag. Writing a letter to him made me happy as well as scared coz there is always this unknown fear in me which creeps without my access and I welcome it even without thinking. There was some music playing downwards and I was not sure what was it. I shrugged it anyways, washed my face and came down to eat something.

What I saw in the living room made my mouth to go wide open. There stood my family dancing like maniacs and they were also other people swaying along the music. There were few servers roaming around holding trays containing drinks and when I stopped one waiter and smelled the content I was about to puke. It was surely some strong alcohol and I am sure that almost all the people present here had gulped it without any doubt.

Then I understood that there is a huge party going on over here that too without my knowledge.

Wow, seriously I never thought that these people could do such thing. Drowning themselves with alcohol can cause damage to their own body but no one here is least bothered to pay heed to it.

I saw my brother Debashish swaying with that girlfriend of his and I am sure they too had bathed themselves with this pure holy water. The way everyone's body was moving made me realize that everyone had already made friendship with alcohol well.

The sight of them grinding with each other is making me feel disgusted. I wanted to shout at everyone and make them vacate the place asap but I resisted myself from doing any of such thing. I went to kitchen to eat something but was shocked to see that the whole fridge was filled with nothing but alcohol. I was trying to find something and cook to eat when I heard someone entering the kitchen.

" So Miss. Are you not going to enjoy with us? I am sure there is a holiday for weekend to college. So why not waste a little today? " Veda said smirking at me and I must say she had taken more alcohol than her body could handle. I really don't like the way she presents herself in front of me. I know that she is not like this with everyone around but when it comes to me, she behaves as if I am trash.

" Sorry to deny you but I don't like partying. Thanks for the offer though " I smiled. But she came towards me carefully as if she would fall if she doesn't walk slowly and I tried to catch her hand when she stood in front of me but she jerked my hand away.

" Why do I think that you are just trying to avoid partying " she said folding her hands and raising her left eyebrow. Seriously handling drunk people is really difficult.

" What do you mean by it? " I asked rather curiously not knowing her intentions clearly.

" I mean guys will not be interested in girls like you. Like see the way you look, the way you wear those specs eww I don't even want to describe. I just spare you coz you are Debu's sissy " she said each word as if her tongue was stinging. She put a disgusted look on her face and I stood there numb not understanding what to say or do.

She lifted my head placing her finger under my chin " Even though you are not pretty and guys will not be interested in you I am sure there are few guys over there who are wasted badly and maybe they don't mind your company " she said while moving away from me. The tears I was holding were freely falling now and I didn't stop them. She went away cursing that she is giving me a nice opportunity to hook up with guys and I am no use even for that.

The hunger I was feeling earlier was gone now and I am feeling difficulty to breath. I ran outside the house as fast as I could and fell on the grass and started taking heavy breaths to calm down.

I started having panic attacks after my dad died and doctor said that I should take heavy breaths to calm myself if I don't then the condition would worsen. I don't know what does the doctor meant by worsen coz I am already living in a worse condition and I don't think anything will be worser than this.

I don't know how long I have been taking long breaths to calm myself but now my body was feeling normal and I was able to respire properly. I lied there on the grass itself and stared at the sky. I started staring at each and every star and remembered my dad's words which he used to tell me during my childhood.

You know princess if we die, we will always be there in the sky as a star and will be looking at you. And you know why stars shine brightly? because they are smiling looking at your happy face. So remember that every time you look at sky smile. If you smile looking at stars it means you are happy to see your loved ones over there. And I am sure, my princess loves everyone so you should always smile looking at them coz maybe your loved ones will be waiting for you to smile.

And I didn't understand who are those loved ones who wanted me to smile that time.

Later he told me there is indeed someone very special who wanted me to smile and also my dad himself is looking at me from there.

I smiled looking at all the stars expecting that my loved ones will be happy to see me. I kept looking at sky without going inside coz I was rather happy here than there. Slowly after sometime I found that people are leaving and also the sound of music faded away.

I was hungry but the incident in the kitchen made me stop in my track. I lied there itself not even bothering who were leaving and who were not. I found that someone was looking at me from my peripheral vision so I lifted myself with the help of my elbows and found that a guy was staring at me. I was not able to look him properly coz I kept my specs aside and I couldn't see clearly without specs.

He left after he understood that I was looking at him. I know people will not like me so it is waste of time thinking to grab some attention from them. I again lied there and I found that it was almost morning coz there was cool breeze blowing around and it was really looking serene. I kept enjoying the moment for some more time when I heard some noises from inside the house.