I was anxious to know what happened to Nidhu. The whole night I couldn't sleep even for an hour and I was exhausted to no end with all the projects and assignments. I just kept thinking non-stop until I found it was time for me to go for the morning jog.

There are only two and half months left for our final exams and I was focusing on completing all the given assignments. Thank goodness that I was a step further compared to the other students in my class or else it would have been even more hectic with the upcoming schedule. I made my schedule in such a way that I will be able to study as well as focus on college work.

I am growing impatient knowing that there are only few days left and Sunayn will be gone from the college. I don't know when will I be able to face him and talk to him. Also, there is a little portion in my heart which always screams at me to go and tell him and express my feelings to him so that it will be easy to handle it now if he denies my proposal.

There is also a chance that I will never be able to cope up with my life if he rejects me or worse laughs and make fun of me. The latter will be more painful for me coz whatever maybe the situation I don't want anyone knowing that I loved a person about whom I don't know and he doesn't even recognize me. I just want him to know that I love him like crazy and will always do.

What happens if I will never show myself to him? I have to marry and live with a person my mom tells me to and I hate to say that my life will be equal to lifeless soul with a body to breath. I don't want my life to be a puppet where I have to act according to others will and wish. I want freedom, independence where I can freely express my feelings.

But will that ever happen? Will mom accept my love towards Sunayn?

I was mess with my thoughts when I reached home after my jog. I ran upstairs and took a bath. I covered my bags under my eyes with little makeup and put my glasses. I found myself presentable and made my way downstairs.

" Good morning Naina. Come have your breakfast " said Debu bhayya with a smile gesturing me towards a seat. I was grateful that there is bhayya who was paying attention to my meals or I don't think there is need for me to eat or drink. It will always be my wish to eat or not. Sometimes I starve hoping that I will be fine but then I remember my dad and drag myself to eat something to lose my appetite.

" Good morning bhayya. Thank you " I replied with a small smile and sat in the seat where he gestured me to. I think mom had not yet woke up or went somewhere or maybe she was not at home at all coz the whole house looks so peaceful and calm. I ate in silence and I was done when suddenly mom came downstairs talking to someone on phone and saw me. She saw me with pure disgust. I felt my breakfast coming out of my pit with fear so I ran quickly to kitchen and threw up everything I ate.

I was not feeling too well after puking but I should go to college and make sure that Nidhu is fine and I have piles of work to do. if I miss college, I will have some more extra work and I don't want to be lagging behind. So, with much difficulty I took my lunch box and exited kitchen making sure not to face her again and I succeeded. As soon as I saw my car, I literally ran towards it and started the engine. I made it to college before time. I went to canteen and had coffee relieving that the ugly taste I was having after puking, it is now replaced with the taste of coffee and I smiled with contentment.

" Hmm.. you are smiling so I take that you are in a good mood today " someone said from behind and I saw Ranjith coming and sitting opposite of me with a bright smile. I don't know why of all the people god had given him those thick eyebrows they are truly mesmerizing.

" Good morning to you too Ranjith " I said sarcastically while he chuckled. I eyed him not knowing what was so funny about my statement.

" Well I thought of apologizing to you but I saw you leaving in a hurry with a girl maybe your friend. So now, I am sorry " he said like a little kid and I was confused for what he was apologizing.

" For what? " I asked him with confusion and he opened his mouth to tell something but closed again for no reason. I was observing him carefully so that he could explain me the reason for his apology. Maybe he understood my dilemma so he composed himself before answering.

" You know when you were talking on the phone I heard and then I kinda accused you saying that you have a boyfriend. Remember? " he said and nervously looked at me. I then understood what was he talking about and I glared at him. With all the clouded thoughts about Nidhu and exams I couldn't actually remember about this topic. As now I understood I got up from my chair without even looking at him and he followed behind. Guess what he kept following me until I reached class and when I was about to enter the class, I turned around to look at him who moved a little back to give me space and I was glad with that gesture.

" Look I don't want to create a scene in front of the class so you better don't disturb me while in class. Okay? " I said sternly and I saw him nodding slowly.

I made my way to my seat and removed my book and saw that there was a message for me and I immediately smiled to see that Vinni had sent me a message. I replied it as soon as I can and put the phone back in my bag. I saw Ranjith giving me a pleading look but I ignored him coz my class is more important to me than forgiving him.

After lunch I entered my class but found that Nidhu was not present. I kept thinking of various possibilities for her absence but I couldn't make any reason. I tried to call her but it was switched off or not reachable. I kept it aside and immersed in my own thoughts about my previous conversation with Ranjith.

During lunch Ranjith sat with me but I was not interested in his words. My interest picked up when he spoke about super seniors and there being a physical test soon for people to join various departments.

" You know our seniors are going to have a physical test very soon and Sunny is practicing tough and I am sure that he will definitely get selected. He is a true inspiration and I am really proud of him and I am going to miss him dearly particularly his taunts while practicing " he said chuckling.

I was not able to figure out anything but what I could register from his words is- he is going somewhere and will be gone for many days or maybe months?

Where he might be gone or for how many days and with whom? Will he return back soon? I thought after college he will be pursuing his further studies here or maybe look after for some job here itself but to my utter shock he will not be here after his college. I don't know how will I survive without seeing him. Will I be able to express him my feelings? Should I burry my feelings for him forever and be a broken soul like this?

I don't know how long I was dozed off with all the thoughts coz Ranjith was hitting me with his spoon asking if I was listening to him or not. I shook my head not knowing why and replied hastily.

" I am just not feeling too good. Sorry if I offended you " with that I ran away from there to where I don't know. While I ran away all the tears I controlled not to spill before anyone spilled out and I made it to washroom and closed the door.

I sat against the door and cried my eyes out. Why it has to happen to me? Why? Why should dad leave me all alone and go away? Why should I suffer for something I hadn't done from my own family? Why should I be betrayed by everyone and anyone? What is my mistake? What had I done to get punished like this? Why should I fall in love with Sunayn? Why should I imagine a happy life with him when he doesn't even know me? Now after I thought I could be little happy by expressing my feelings to him by writing letters he should be gone. But why? Will he.....

All the questions clouded one by one and I was not able to breath and I suddenly felt suffocated. Another anxiety attack! I took long breaths to normal my respiration but my tears wouldn't budge no matter what. They kept coming down like a waterfall which has no intention to stop or to the reason to stop. I got up from the floor and took the support of the sink and took heavy breaths.

In, out. In, out. In, out....

After I felt my breathing became normal, I washed my face and wiped with a tissue paper. I entered classroom but Nidhu was absent to cheer me up for some time.

It took forever to finish the classes today. After I was done, I went to my car to reach home but I remembered that Nidhu was not lifting the call so I thought to check her once before going home. I went to her apartment and rang the doorbell. Her mom welcomed me warmly with a smile. After few pleasantries I asked about Nidhu and she told that she was in her room probably sick.

" Hey Nidhu how are you? " I asked as soon as I entered her room and was shocked to see her. She was not in her usual self. Her hair was messy, with pyjamas and loose t-shirt, eyes puffy and red. She smiled a little when she saw me and sat up on her bed. I examined carefully and saw that she was crying?

" Hey! I didn't expect you to come here today. You could have called before coming " she said gesturing me to sit beside her. I don't know how was she acting cool when she is clearly caught crying. And she was expecting me to call her when her broken phone is placed on the study table.

" Yeah, but only if your phone is in good condition " I said raising my brow for which she just lowered her eyes. I put my hand on her shoulder and tried to make her talk to me but she was fidgeting with her fingers.

" What happened Nidhu? I called you like thousand times but I couldn't reach out " I said when she looked up to me. She had tears in her eyes but I know she was trying to hold on and act strong. But she need not to be afraid to be weak in front of me. I wanted to assure her that it is fine to let everything out.

" You can tell me anything you want to. If you don't want to tell me then don't. I will not force you. But I want you to know that I am always here to listen to you and I promise I don't judge. Please don't hold back yourself " I said rubbing my palm on her back soothingly.

She suddenly hugged me tightly and started crying and I let her do. She was sobbing and hicupping and was trying to tell me something but I silenced her saying " Its okay " or " Everything will be alright ". I don't know what is the reason for her breakdown but I want her to calm down first.

" Drink little water " I said when she calmed down and gave her the water bottle which was on the table. She took two small gulps and wiped her tears and cleared her throat.

" He cheated on me " she whispered and I was not understanding what she was telling and whom she was referring to.

" Who? " I asked curiously and she took deep breath before replying. " Sreedhar. He cheated on me with Vrinda " she said looking down and I was shocked.

" Vrinda is your friend right? " I asked and she nodded slightly before she broke down into tears yet again.