'Are you sure you can manage all the way to the park?' Aleska asks her grandfather in her mother tongue.

'I'm just sitting. It's you that's pushing. Can you?' He teases.

'Of course!' Aleska remonstrates. 'How can you even ask?'

The old man laughs fondly as he relaxes against the backrest as Aleska effortlessly guides the wheelchair into the busy park.

Children are playing outside, undeterred by the cold. They are running about, some kicking a ball, others riding the swings, a couple are on a worn out see-saw. There's a serenity about the place even with the sprightly children braving the weather to enjoy the outdoors. Her grandfather is happy being outdoors. His bright smile reaches his eyes.

Aleska points to some unfamiliar birds visiting the park. Her grandfather's smile broadens, as he nods.

'There was a time, when I was showing you nature's beauty,' he smiles in remembrance.

Aleska had always been a curious child, asking the names of every bird or unfamiliar species she spotted. And the old man had delighted in satisfying her inquisitive mind. Aleska laughs, clearly remembering when she had been about the age of the little ones running about today. Her knowledgeable grandfather was able to answer every question she threw at him. She had always found him more enjoyable company that kids her age. Even as she had blossomed into a gangly, attractive young lady in her late teens, Aleska is conservative with her associations. She has almost no friends. Girls despise her because she was too beautiful. Boys only wanted one thing from her.

'Why don't you look up some of your friends?' He breaks into her thoughts

Friends?

She has no friends. The only one is ...Grigor, the first boy to have kissed her. Aleska cringes inwardly thinking of the clumsy Grigor and his sloppy kiss. He had been sweet, genuine but too timid for Aleska. He had really liked Aleska, but Aleska being the feisty, adventurous, soul that she is, had found him too reticent. She had wanted a man who could hold his own, challenge her, match her competitive spirit, be her equal, argue his position when she was wrong, tame her tempestuous soul and most importantly, assuage the sweltering passion inside her. A man like ...

'You forget, it is more than two years since I have been home,' Aleska quickly answers her grandfather. 'I hardly know anybody anymore.'

'And that good looking Grigor is married now,' her grandfather shakes his head.

'"Married?'" Aleska pours some coffee into a plastic mug for her grandpa.

Grigor had been good looking as far as Aleska could remember, but she would have been bored with him after a month. He just did not have any substance. What you saw on the outside was what you got; a shy, self- conscious, too gentle, meek, agreeable bore. Grigor spoke two languages, Russian and football. And Aleska does not care about football. She loves extreme sport, skydiving; rock-climbing; skiing; deep sea diving in the Pacific or braving the freezing Arctic Ocean. So Grigor was better off with whomever he has married.

'I'm happy for him,' Aleska smiles happily for her grandfather's benefit. Let him not think she was pining for Grigor.

'But you need company your own age,' the old man persists. 'You spend far too much time moping about that Englishman.'

'Dedushka!'

Aleska gawks uncomfortably. She has no idea she's been wearing her heart on her sleeve.

'Are you denying you think about him every day?' He challenges.

Aleska lowers her head. How could she? Issuing such a denial will reduce her feelings for Stone and she is not prepared to trivialize her love for him.

'I want to see you happy again,' he reaches out, enclosing her hands within his.

'I am,' Aleska whispers.

'I want to hear your laughter again. I have not heard it since before ---.'

'I need some time Dedushka,' moisture fills her eyes. 'I will be that girl again that you remember,' she murmurs.

'Do it for you,' he shakes her hands gently, 'before the light inside you goes dark.'

Aleska nods. She blinks furiously, trying to keep the tears at bay. 'You used to be my rock, my foundation. Now you're like onions. You reduce me to tears when I have to deal with you,' she laughs through her teary eyes.

He smiles tenderly. 'It is not me. The problem is here,' he points lightly with his index finger, to her heart.

Aleska swallows uncomfortably. 'I think we have had enough reflection for today,' she stands up. She covers him warmly with his blanket. 'How about we walk a bit further towards the hill?'

'As you wish, my child,' he agrees softly.

Aleska holds her breath. Each day he seems to become more frail. His breathing is more ragged. He is hardly doing justice to the meals she is preparing for him. Aleska resorts to filling him up with lots of liquid meals of soups with shredded chicken and fresh vegetables. She tries to get as much protein into him as possible. He is always thankful for his meals and at least his brain was still razor sharp. Sometimes, Aleska was not too comfortable being on the receiving end.

After their dinner Aleska retreats to her room, if the tiny cubicle could be called a room. It is barely bigger than the average size of one's bathroom. She looks around critically. She has mixed emotions about her early life here. This is the room where her father used to banish her, when she had failed to live up to his demanding standards. This is also the very room that held fond memories of her mum sneaking food to Aleska, cradling her and singing lovingly to the little girl whilst she hungrily devoured the food her mother had brought her.

Aleska hums the words of her favourite song that her mum used to sing. She still remembers every word so clearly as if it was from yesterday. She picks up a picture frame of her mum from her bedside and kisses it.

'I miss you mum,' she whispers. 'I hardly got to spend any time with you. I love you.' And speaking those three words aloud, instantly makes her remember somebody else she loves wholeheartedly.

Aleska lowers herself onto the timeworn single bed the room contains.

'I should get a new bed,' she complains to herself with a grimace. She has the finances now to do so.

Aleska opens up her mobile phone and gazes at the many photo frames she has of Stone. She smiles to herself. There were many of him with his eyes closed. She laughs softly to herself. There is one of Stone with his eyes closed, but he was smiling, because he'd heard her clicking away. Stone had promptly, cradled her in his arm, taking the cell phone from her, and proceeded to take a barrage of shots of the both of them, laughing, giggling and smiling at each other. She holds her breath, trying to deal with her pain, the torment of being separated from the man she loves.

It is unthinkable to desert her grandfather, and run to Stone. She can never contemplate such a selfish and heartless prospect, not now. Not now when her grandfather was increasingly frail. Aleska cradles the image of Stone against her heart. It was good whilst it lasted, but sometimes in life, one has to make hard, unpopular but necessary choices. Who said life was fair? She more than anybody, knows the hardships of carving one's destiny in this sometimes cruel, sometimes cold and uncaring world.

Some three weeks later ...

Stone's mum knocks on his bedroom door and enters when Stone nods. He is sitting up on his bed, the television is on, but his eyes are focused at distant space.

She sits on the bed, smiles, takes Stone's hand in hers. 'What happened in Brazil?' She asks softly. 'You and Aleska looked so in love.'

Stone heavily heaves a breath, drags his eyes to his mum. He shrugs. 'I told Aleska about the home I bought, and that we will live there when we marry. She blew a gasket. She ---.'

'Did you propose to her son? A girl likes to be asked, you know. She will not want to be taken for granted.'

'Yes --- No. Actually, I did not propose, but I said we will get married and mentioned the home I bought and ---'

'So you did not propose! But you just made the assumption that she will just follow you?'

'Well --- how else are we supposed to have a relationship, if Aleska refuses to live with me?'

'Do you love her?'

His eyes meet his mum's again. 'Yes. Of course, I do.'

'So why don't you go live with her?' His mum's soft, gentle voice challenges.

Stone's eye's widen. A light suddenly comes on, on the inside of him. 'Why didn't I think of that?'

He jumps up, 'You're the best mum,' he hugs his mother.

She stands up. 'That's what mums are for,' she laughs softly, wrapping her arms around him.

'So you're okay with me --- emigrating?'

'I'd rather you be happy far away, than miserable living here and I bet Aleska is just as miserable as you are.' She smiles gently.

Stone looks down. 'You don't know her. I don't think she needs anybody. She's strong and has this amazing resilience and is a born survivor.'

'I know she loves you. I saw it in her eyes and I know she will much prefer having you in her life than living without you,' her affectionate eyes meets her son's.

'Mums are so wise,' Stone laughs for the first time in many days.

'You should pack. I'll book your flight,' she pats him on the back.

'Thanks mum,' he rushes to his wardrobe, whistling as he flings stuff onto his bed.

What if she doesn't want me? What if she says no? What if she turns me away?

He rakes his hand through his hair. 'I'll beg her to take me ---I won't leave.'

He hastily shoves mismatched clothes into his case.

'Um... Stone it will hold more if you pack them in,' his mum looks at the neat and organized wardrobe and wonders about the chaos he is making in the suitcase.

'Eh –'he scratches his head.

His mum shakes her head devotedly. She empties the case onto the bed and neatly re-arranges everything into it.

'There you go,' she zips it up. 'And I printed this,' she hands him his flight schedule.

'Thanks mum. I love you. Tell dad ---.'

'I will. 'Let's go. I'll drop you off.'

         -end chapter nineteen-