'Dedushka,' Aleska sobs, tightly clinging to her grandfather.

He is bedridden; frail and looking skeletal. Shocked, Aleska tries hard not to stare.

'What is it my child?'

It feels so good to hear her mother tongue spoken and especially from her beloved grandfather. They continue the conversation in raid fire Russian.

I missed you,' she smiles.

His fragile hand reaches her face. 'The last time I saw tears in your eyes was when you were a child,' he utters breathlessly. She is a tough one. He wonders about her uncharacteristic emotional state.

Is it Stone she is crying for then?

Aleska brushes her tears away. She looks at her grandfather, cups his bony face.

'I am going to cook you a delicious steak,' she smiles through her tears.

He tries to laugh. It's too much of an effort and coughs instead.

'Calm down,' she murmurs, lightly patting his chest.

"'Steak?"' He repeats. 'We can't afford that.'

'Yes we can,' Aleska smiles. 'We have enough money now. And I've already bought it.'

She received an extremely handsome financial reward for capturing Nazario alive and she has not spent her salary of the last four months. They were in a good enough position for Aleska to ask the military to grant her two months leave to spend with her ailing dedushka.

'You must save your money,' he says softly.

Aleska smiles. 'I want to spoil you. You have given me so much,' tears fill her eyes again.

'Where is my brave soldier? Who is this weepy, girl sitting on my bed?' His eyes light up affectionately.

The soldier became a broke hearted girl in the Amazon, and it was not the elements that had broken her.

'I am one and the same,' Aleska laughs through her teary eyes.

He reaches for her hand. Aleska places both her hands between his. 'You must settle down. It is time ---.'

'No! No dedushka!' She shakes her head, denying his claim. She was not ready to let him go. She needs him. He can't leave her alone in this cold, unkind lonely, harsh world. Who would be there for her?

'I am not young any more child,' he pronounces through much coughing.

'Sssh!' Aleska sobs, tears rush uncontrollably down her face.

Her grandfather, searches her face. His gentle eyes compassionate, loving, comforting. He smiles knowingly as if he perceives that something significant and momentous happened to his dearest grandchild in the rain forest.

'Why don't you go back dear?' Her grandfather softly urges.

'What? How can you say that? I love you. I want to be with you.'

'But you love another too, and your eyes are full with pain.'

'Dedushka ---' she sobs, looking away.

'Don't deny it child.'

Dedushka, let me take you outside in the sun. We will have a picnic. You can tell me again about you and babushka.'

He laughs. His eyes always lights up when he remembers his dearly departed wife.

Aleska prepares some bread to go with the steaks. She makes some coffee in a flask; wraps a blanket warmly around her dedushka and takes him outside in the wheelchair. Aleska spreads a mat on the ground. She sits at his feet and listens attentively as he relates for the hundredth time of when he first set eyes on the love of his life and how she was not interested and how he had demanded she marry him. Instead of taking flowers to the lady who held his affection, her grandfather had taken his ruined trousers to be sewn. Aleska's grandma had merely laughed in his face and promptly closed the door on him, but he had stubbornly pounded on the door until her father had opened it and the young dedushka had summarily asked the father for his daughter's hand in marriage. Because he was a strapping, good looking man, her babushka had not resisted for too long. She eventually fell in love with him and they stayed married until she had passed on after a long and eventful marriage.

'I miss her,' Aleska murmurs quietly.

'I do too,' the old man replies, his eyes becoming sad.

Aleska hands her grandfather a plate with his steak and some bread, cut up into bite size pieces. The old man chews very slowly on his food. He smiles adoringly at his strikingly beautiful granddaughter.

'Tell me about the Amazon rain forest, he speaks softly.

Aleska is eating her food. She stops chewing, looks at the old man uncomfortably.

'It's the same as the last time I was there dedushka, same animals, same forest, same---.'

'But a different man?'

Aleska looks away. The old man is too wise and she loves Stone too much to deny his existence. It is not like Stone does not want her in his life. It's just her responsibility towards her dedushka that prevents her being with the man she loves.

'You should not have left him there,' the old man persists.

'He is not ---South American,' Aleska drags out.

'No?'

'English,' Aleska whispers.

"'English?" Then he is a neighbour,' the old man smiles broadly. 'Just a stone's throw away.'

If only you know the irony of the word you just used!

So near yet so far...Aleska breathes heavily and discards her unfinished lunch.

You should go to him,' the old man suggests.

'No!'

'Why not?'

'I want to be with you dedushka.'

The old man smiles. 'I am fine, my child. You should not put your life on hold.'

'It's nothing,' Aleska shrugs.

The old man laughs.

'What is funny?' Aleska smiles.

'Every other boy was "nothing." This one is something.'

'Dedushka...let's talk about you and I. I have lots of leave. We can go anywhere...do anything.'

'Tell me about him,' her grandfather stubbornly demands.

Aleska inhales heavily. She wants to talk about Stone.  Why not to the only other human being that she whole heartedly loves?

'His name is Stone Bretton. He is in the British SAS. He ---.'

'Ah, the most elite squad,' her grandfather grins.

'The SAS has nothing on Spetsnaz,' Aleska decries vehemently.

Her grandfather laughs again.

'Now what is funny?'

'How did this unimpressive man capture your heart?'

Aleska looks away. 'I did not say he is "unimpressive---."

'Off course you cannot,' he teases. 'How can you?'

'Dedushka you are making fun of me. Stop it!'

The old man throws his head back and laughs. 'I have missed you my sweet child.'

Aleska smiles. 'And I missed you so very much,' she reaches out and wraps her arms around the frail figure. 'You have lost too much weight. I need to fatten you up again.'

'I have little appetite and eating makes me tired,' he smiles, looking exhausted.

Aleska wraps the blanket around him again. 'I think you have had enough fresh air. Perhaps you need your nap again.'

The old man nods. 'It is good to have you home again Aleska.'

'Yes, and I am happy to be home. I love you dedushka.'

'And I adore you sweet child, but I should not be selfish and hold onto to you.'

'Don't talk that way,' Aleska scolds.

'Fine. Get me to bed dear.'

Aleska packs her back pack and wheels her grandfather inside again.

She settles him into bed, rubs his feet until they are warm, puts a fresh pair of socks on for him and fusses over him until he falls asleep then silently tiptoes outside again.

It is nippy outside, but not unbearable.  Not that she even registers the sudden afternoon chill. The sky has become grey; the sun has slipped behind the clouds. The trees are all bare of leaves, but the late autumn is still picturesque as far as Aleska is concerned. She hugs herself as she walks aimlessly down the quiet, isolated street of their village allowing her mind free reign of their forlorn thoughts. Obviously the sum total of her thoughts centres around one Stone Bretton.

Aleska sighs heavily. She misses him. She aches for him. It was excruciatingly painful walking away from the man she loves, when she left the jungle. There was no easy way about it. She was never one for laborious or soppy good-byes. And Stone would not know she cried a bucket of tears as she flew her helicopter out of the rain forest.

Aleska is thankful nobody is about. She walks down the quiet street. She does not need to make unnecessary small talk with any members of the small village. And she relishes the privacy to reflect on her feelings and thoughts of Stone. There are times she wants to reach out, to hold Stone's hand. Obviously he is not there. She misses their intimacy. She misses gazing into Stone's magnetic dark eyes when he used to look into the depths of her soul. She craves his arms around her ... his lips on hers. She recollects in detail, the cherished conversations they had had in his quarters back at the forest. She can still hear Stone's provocative, sexy laugh. She recalls many a times when they would lustfully gaze at each other, impatient for the night when they would lose all inhibitions. Aleska smiles thinking about the time they rode their rafts down the river and Stone fell off his. He had looked so adorable.

When she gets to the end of the dirt road, Aleska turns around and heads back to their tiny home. It is almost time to start making the evening dinner for her ailing dedushka.

One Month Later ...

'John?' Stone opens the door to allow McDouall into his home.

'Colonel, thought I'd take you out for a beer.'

They were friends ... close friends, but McDouall still respects his Commanding Officer not to forget Stone has rank over him.

Stone purses his lips. He is in no mood for company or to venture out to any pub. 'I can offer you some scotch,' he counter offers.

Stone's entire team is on extended leave until they get 'called up' for duty again. And Stone is ---was thankful for the solitude...until McDouall arrives. He is not good company right now. Infact he has been in a lousy mood the entire month since his return from Brazil. Stone did not feel like being in the new home he purchased and was camping at his parent's home much to his mum's delight.

'You're looking good John,' Stone hands him a glass of scotch.

McDouall laughs. 'I have to hand it to the Major, Colonel. She did a damn fine job.'

Damn, I should have kept my mouth shut!

Stone releases an irritated gasp.
McDouall continues to heap praise on Aleska for the exemplary emergency medical aid she performed on him. McDouall's own doctor has commended the physician that attended to him in Brazil.

'And as I recall, initially you could not stand her,' Stone narrows his eyes accusingly.

'Hey Colonel, you have to allow... the circumstances initially were ... difficult. She kicked our butts, but then I came around. She is an amazing girl,' McDouall concedes.

Stone is silent. He can't forget Aleska. His heart won't allow him to. It hurts remembering her lips...her smile... her sexy accent...her naked body.

'Colonel?'

'Sorry?' Stone distractedly drags himself back from his torturous thoughts.

'I'm talking about Major Maric. I said she ---.'

'Yes ---yes,' Stone nods distractedly.

'So you --- and the Major ---.'

McDouall and Stone have known each other many years. They have served together in many tours. They have a very strong bond. McDouall figures he is allowed the liberty to get personal.

'Yeah,' Stone laughs. 'Trust me to go after the wrong girl.'

'Don't blame you. She sure is hot.'

Stone threateningly narrows his eyes at McDouall.
McDouall holds his hands up defensively. 'Hey you know I'm spoken for, but I have to be honest. The Major is one beautiful lady.'

Stone purses his lips. He wishes he could stop thinking about Aleska, but that is as hard as not breathing.

'So how about we hit the pub. Perhaps you can find a distraction there. You always draw the girls like a magnet,' McDouall laughs.

Stone does not want any other woman. He needs Aleska. She is like a drug. He loves her. He cannot fathom himself becoming intimate with another woman... perhaps in another life time....

'Not tonight buddy,' Stone slaps McDouall on the shoulder. 'How about I see you out?' Much as Stone appreciates his friend, he craves solace in his private space..

'Sure,' McDouall throws back the last of his drink. 'Just call Colonel ... if you need anything.'

Stone nods. 'I'm delighted you're fixed up and raring to go again,'

'Feel good as new,' McDouall grins.

'Take care,' Stone lets his friend out.

He drags himself upstairs to his room at his parent's home where he has been moping for the last month. He lifts up his mobile, tempted to call Aleska, desperate to hear her voice, better still her sexy laugh; thinking about her feels like a blazing fire ravaging his body. It hurts so much it numbs his entire body...like a cold front that obliterates the light and warmth, shrouding his being in darkness and a wintry chill.

                -end chapter 18-