I have decided to leave a note for my bullies.

I began writing the note and then I went to school like I usually do. I made copies of the notes so I can put it in each and everyone of my bullies lockers. I have a knife in my backpack and I decided that I was going to kill myself in the woods after school. I left a note in my parents bedroom on the dresser. They're both at work so they won't be able to see the note until they get home so they can't stop me from making my decision.

The note said: — This is Emily Sanchez. Yes, The one that you've bullied for a very long time now. I've had enough of everything, you have no idea what I've been through. And I've had enough with it so after school I'm going to the woods and I'm going to be killing myself. And there's nothing you can do about it. You guys have been bullying me for so long now that I've become suicidal and I've been hurting myself. Yes, that's right. I self harm. And you know why? It's because of you. And I know you won't care and I know you won't miss me. So, I hope you're happy. Because I'm not. —

I quickly get to school and dropped off the notes in every one of my bullies lockers. Then I began to walk to my first class. "Hey, fatty!" James said. He's one of my bullies. I tried to ignore him. But, he tripped me. I fell on the carpet in the hallway. I looked up at him, and he was laughing. "Emily, you're so pathetic!"

I started crying. Then, he grabbed me by the arm and pushed me up against the lockers. Ow!

"Check your locker," I managed to say. "Fine, in a few minutes though," he said.

He slapped my face. I cried more. He was smiling. He finally left me alone.

***

School is now almost over. I haven't really seen James much after this morning's encounter with him in the hallway. But, I have been getting bullied a lot today.

Right now, I'm in my last class. I just sat down and put my supplies on the desk. The teacher isn't in the classroom yet. I saw James walk into the room. James is in some of my classes. He usually likes to sit near me, so he can kick my shins or hurt me.

He looks sad. I don't know why though.

"Hey, Emily can I, uh talk to you for a minute?" He asked in a sad tone.

"S-sure," I said while stuttering. Is this a trap?

He took my hand and intertwined my fingers with his. Well, that's strange. Very strange. What is happening?

He lead me out to the hallway and around the corner.

"What do you want?" I asked him.

He let go of my hand. And took the note, I wrote for him, out of his pocket.

"Did you write this?" He asked while holding up the note.

I nodded my head and looked at the floor.

"Listen, Emily, I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I didn't know how it made you feel, I guess I just got carried away and—"

"Save it, James! You and your friends are the reason I'm suicidal. Do you really want to hurt someone so much that they hurt themselves? So much that they want to kill themselves? Wow. That's super low. You're so exhausting. So, don't waste my time with your lame apologies and excuses."

I start to walk away when he grabs my arm. He pulls me back. "Emily! Let me explain myself, please." He said.

"Fine." I rolled my eyes.

He let go of my arm.

"I have stress and anxiety. I take different medications for it. But, some of it makes me angry, and mean. That's why I'm like this. It wears off sometimes, but still. I hate it, but my parents think it's "working" I just...want to explain how sorry I am." James said.

"Listen, I get it. I do. I have anxiety and stress too. But, that won't change my mind about killing myself, I'm doing it and there's nothing you can do about it." I said.

"Emily, please don't kill yourself," James said.

"Why would you care?"

"What? So, you think I don't care?" He asked.

I nodded my head.

"Wow. The fact that you think I don't care, offends me." He said.

"I'm doing it, Okay? Now, I'm leaving." I said and I walked back to the classroom, just to find if empty. I looked at the clock, schools over.

It's time.

I grabbed my backpack from my locker and started walking towards the back of the school. Because towards the back of the school, there's a field and then woods. That's where I'll do it.

I opened the back doors and began walking to the woods. But, I was stopped right before I got into the woods, to see James and some of my other bullies. Oh no! How is this going to end, good or bad?

Each of them were holding up a piece of paper that said 'We're so sorry! We'll never hurt you again, please stay with us! You got this!'

Wow. That is pretty nice and sweet.

"Emily, were so sorry for how we've treated you. Please don't kill yourself." Jackson said.

"Please stay with us." Emma said.

"Please," Brandon said while in tears.

Why do they care so much? Maybe they had a change of heart.

This doesn't look like a prank and some of them are in tears.

I thought about what I was thinking to do. I thought about my past. I thought about my REAL friends. My family.

Do I really want to waste my entire life on this?

I began crying. Tears started streaming down my face.

"Okay, fine," I said.

They smiled and gave me a giant group hug.

"We lied about everything we told you about your appearance and personality. We're sorry. We were jealous of how nice you were. And how you weren't afraid to be who you are, until we came along and ruined that for you." Katrina said.

"It's okay, thank you guys for apologizing. I'll talk to my parents when I get home, I'll talk to my counselor soon, and I'll go to the doctor's office to try some medications to help me." I said.

"Okay, that sounds like a great idea," James said. I slightly smiled.

Everyone stopped hugging and pulled away.

"Oh, and James if you need someone to talk to, you have me. I'll listen. If you are willing to listen to me." I said.

"Really? You'll listen?" James asked.

"Of course," I said. I'll listen to James because I know that he's going through stuff too. He's going through a rough time, like me.

"Will you listen to me, though?" I asked.

"Definitely," James said. He smiled and hugged me. I hugged him back. To be honest, his hugs are pretty calming.

We all talked and then I went home. My parents got home a few minutes before me, and they read the note when they got home. I talked to them in the living room about what's going on, and how I'm feeling.

They listened and then gave me hugs. They called the doctor about medications. And then my parents called my counselor, so I can try to talk to her about stuff that's going on.

I usually don't like to talk about stuff, especially like this.

My parents then tried to cheer me up. So, we ate dinner and had some dessert and watched a movie. It definitely helped a little.

But, it's the thought that counts.

I'm glad that James and my other bullies finally apologized and are being nice now. I didn't think that they would ever apologize to me or even care about me killing myself. When I told James that I cut myself, he started to tear up and he even cried a little bit. I couldn't believe it. I guess, you just have to be the better person. Be the best YOU that there is. Be yourself, no matter what anyone thinks. You need to start respecting yourself. Tell yourself you love yourself, even if it's not true. When you look in the mirror, smile. Even if it's a fake smile. Laugh, even if it's a fake laugh. Just try to get your mind off of things I know it might be hard but you can do it! If Emily can do it, then so can you!