He gave her a small smile and stood there, taking in a fill of her. She quickly called out to her fellow volunteer and moved away from the counter to reach him. She grasped his wrist and pulled him to a nearby, relatively empty lobby. He wanted to touch her and hug her tight, yet, had to restrain given the surrounding of their rendezvous.

She let go of his wrist as soon as they reached the lobby, yet, he clasped her hands firmly and interlaced their fingers. She looked at their intertwined hands and sighed. She did not bat an eye at his state of unkempt. He had hair everywhere like a caveman and felt that he should've taken time to run a comb, just to be presentable. But whom was he kidding? He desperately wanted to meet her. Anyways, she was someone who did not bother about appearances. He kept gazing at her like a love sick puppy.

"What are you doing here, Ajay?" Her business tone pulled him out of his daze as he narrowed his eyes at her.

"You tell me."

"What does it look like? I'm volunteering."

"From when did you become so religious?"

"That's none of your business. Remember we broke up?" She tried to pull her fingers away from his grasp, yet he did not budge.

"That's because you failed to let me think things through and give me time!"

"If this is what we are going to discuss, I guess this is the wrong place."

"Please lead the way as you seem to know all the right places to discuss this, other than either of our homes."

"This is my home, at least temporarily."

"Then come with me to my apartment, it could be your home and not temporary in any way."

Anya quirked both her brows and scoffed, "I must give you, you are smooth as butter. So smooth that I know I'll definitely slip, and I don't like falling one bit."

She moved away from him, but he pulled her back.

"We are doing this my way this time," he determined and dragged her outside the Gurudwara. He somehow made her sit in the passenger side of his car, and he quickly occupied the driver's side.

When he was about to start the vehicle, she barked, "If you start this car, and take me somewhere without my consent, I will jump off this vehicle, this very instant."

Ajay gave her a cheeky smile, "Please be my guest and try. I enabled the child-lock there."

The stress of her current job situation, her barely good living conditions and Ajay's childish trick manifested into an undiluted rage which made her bang the dashboard with her fist from pent up frustration. Her knuckle split open, and blood trickled down.

Ajay was startled for a second, "What the fuck?"

But he quickly pulled out his handkerchief to bind the bruise. Anya was least bothered. She jerked her hand away from his ministrations, "Please tell whatever it is and open this fucking door."

Ajay looked at Anya. She seemed to have lost weight, and her eyes were sunken with visible dark circles. She looked nothing better than him in any way.

"When did you lose your job?"

She turned away and kept mum. He rubbed his tired eyes and looked at her. There was no use losing his patience. She was struggling to survive, unlike him.

"Answer me. Please?"

"Two days after we broke up."

That was close to ten, probably eleven weeks.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Don't you think that's rhetorical. We broke up, that's why."

"What about Sanjay? Didn't you think of him?"

"What's with all these questions? I'm a big girl and can take care of myself. He has his own set of problems. I didn't want to bother him."

"Fair enough. I've come to take you home."

"I'm going back to Mangalore tomorrow— my real home. I've have had enough of this city for life," she replied in resignation.

Ajay's eyes widened in disbelief, "I didn't know about all this until today, or I would've come much earlier."

"What would've happened even otherwise? It's not like I would readily move in with you. Besides, I hinted about it once, yet, you wouldn't listen. Later, I didn't want you to know."

"Why?"

"I didn't want to be a liability to you."

His eyes were filled with horror, "What? You were never. I'm...I'm really sorry if you've felt that way. You are never a liability. Please don't go back."

"Why, Ajay? Is it pity? I don't want your pity," she seethed in anger which exasperated him.

"No Anya, because I love you."

When Anya blinked and did not utter a word for a minute, he spoke again, "I love you. These past few days had been wretched. I missed you."

She vigorously shook her head and muttered, "I still carry the same baggage, Ajay. I'm still jobless, dependent and need time to stand on my two feet. I have no debt but no savings as well. I'm from a middle-income family and look for a long term commitment. I just can't do short-term ones or friends-with-benefits ones. Doesn't all this make me not your type?"

He knew these were the qualities he highly questioned in other women. Relationship with them was damn inconvenient. But this was Anya they were talking about. She was the persevering kind who neither sought other's help nor gave up even at a very low-point in life. So her decision to go back to Mangalore baffled him.

"Yes, I know. You are also proud, self-assured, tenacious, and you know what? I don't care. I'm in love with you, and I want you in my life forever. Please don't go back."

"I still don't get it. How could you have a change of heart so soon and so drastic?"

"Do you see this?" Ajay patted his unruly beard and tousled hair. He continued when Anya nodded. "Have you ever seen me like this?" She shook her head, still unable to connect to where this was going.

"This is not a new trend! Funny, I can't remember the random reasons I say when my colleagues ask me about this look. It was hell, Anya. Even now, it is hell. I can't drink or eat. I ate without tasting, just to survive. I stopped showing at the pub which I did quite diligently, mind you. You are practically living in my head. I was running whole conversations in my head with your witty responses. I missed your candour," he smiled to himself, reminiscing all the conversations they had shared before and looked at her tenderly.

"I don't want to ever let go of you. And trust me I'm not telling you this at the heat of the moment. It was always there. The coward that I'm, I held back. I should've told you much earlier. I knew it when you were at the hospital for me but was not ready to accept it, and later I thought you didn't deserve me with all my insecurities. I came as soon as I knew about your job situation. I want you to be safe and happy, if that's possible with me, that's all I ask for."

Anya closed her eyes and rested on the car seat. His words provided a balm to her bruised heart, but she was not in a mind frame to take decisions right now. The decision to go back to Mangalore was something that drained her of her energy. It was a tough call to make. That decision meant that she was accepting defeat to live her life. Survival in a city of this big was not impossible. She could survive by being a sales girl in a mall or take tuition classes for kids, but she wanted to pursue something that her heart called for or her education background could offer.

"I'm just so tired, Ajay. It's all there somewhere, but right now I can't reciprocate whatever you are asking of me. I need time for myself, away from here and all this pressure. It is not right to ask you to wait, because I'm really not sure what's in store for me. I'm not the kind to sit at home idle, but I need a while to etch a path of my own. These past few weeks were a revelation on how a mere second can turn everything around. I need to go back to my roots to reflect. I'm just glad my parents were really happy to have me back. I'm sorry."

Both were silent for a while. Ajay wondered if this relationship would always be uncertain.

"Could I stay in touch with you? An occasional call or through text messages?" he asked her hopefully.

"Of course, I would definitely be interested to know what's happening in your life," she replied.

Anya did not often cry, but now she couldn't hold back. She voluntarily sought his hand and held it firmly in hers.

"I'm sorry Ajay...I really am."

"Don't be, it's not your fault. I was a coward. I'm sorry for everything," he replied gravely.

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