"I'm thinking we should hang out sometime and get to know each other. You know?"

I've found out that Amy has a thing for the phrase 'you know' or 'ya know.' Over the course of a week, I've learned a lot about her. Things like she grew up in a two story, white picket fence home. She has two parents, an older brother, a younger sister, and two dogs.

Every lunch, we end up going together to the same place. Though Amy can be a bit overwhelming sometimes, her company has been nice since I've moved to the city and started at No No Technologies. On the other hand, I'm wondering when I'll grow used to sleeping alone in my own apartment. Things seem to not be getting easier.

I spend most of my nights tossing and turning with thoughts full of panic and doubt. Without my family around, it constantly feels like I have no one. They may be a phone call away, but their lack of presence is different for me, new for me. It doesn't help that I've been depriving myself of sleep. Some days I stay overtime so I can get my work completed—at least enough so I'm not as stressed. That leaves me having no wind down time once I get home. Coupled with my restlessness, my days feel longer and longer.

Since today is Monday, I'm hoping for a fresh start this week. With a hot chai tea latte in my hands, I exit the elevator and head to my desk. This time, I'm here early. Amy is absent from her desk, meaning I'm here before her. She's in the break room, or the bathroom. It's a different sight and feeling to not hear Amy's usual perky greeting. Nevertheless, I continue to my desk.

Setting my drink down, I shuffle to my boss's office and knock softly. Hearing no reply, I repeat my actions. My shoulders slump as I realize he's yet to be here. I release a breath before heading to the break room to prepare a coffee for him. Lots of cream, lots of sugar, which I would have never expected Mister Novak to like. Serves me right for assuming.

When I return, Amy is now here. She's just setting her bag down and taking her jacket off when I walk up behind her.

"Fancy seeing you here," I say, smiling. Her eyes widen comically, as if this is the first time she's heard me talk.

"Sutton, you're here so early! Did the warden put the hammer down? That man is one beautiful creature, but I promise you he hates everybody," she rambles, blowing a strand of red hair from her forehead. "I mean, he's gotten nicer from like a month ago, but I genuinely have no fucking idea why. Ooh, sorry, language. Totally not ladylike, ya know?"

Tilting my head to the side, I furrow my eyebrows. My mind trails back to the day I saw a blonde walk into Mister Novak's office. Even in all my naivety, I'm smart enough to know when a significant other is the reason for a mood change. Maybe she's his.

"I don't think he's bad, but I do get a lot of work. I mean, that's obvious, since this is a job." I sheepishly rub the back of my neck, looking away awkwardly.

"Whatever, you're just too nice to say anything bad. That's okay, Sutty, I'll be a bitch for the both of us."

"Don't call me that, please," I tell her softly, my cheeks reddening. Old memories dig up in my mind of a time I've tried so hard to forget.

"What's wrong with Sutty? I think it has a really nice ring to it." The look in her eyes tells me she doesn't realize I've started to disconnect from her. The smile on her face tells me she doesn't even notice my now quickened breathing.

Flashes in my mind cause me to hold my breath. A little boy being pushed to the ground for being too small. Kids laughing and calling a frightened child Sutty. Then it trails to a high schooler in his second year. Chants about being a gay ring through my mind. Chants about being too soft roll around in my head.

"My two most talkative employees at it again," Mister Novak's voice sounds from behind me. The images fade as the memories are interrupted. Still holding my breath, I turn to face the big man.

Chandler Novak is not a short guy. He stands inches taller than my six foot height. Despite him not being overly buff, his stature and physique are still intimidating. It could be his constant blank face that lets everyone know he doesn't take anything from anyone. The mask he wears is done to perfection.

And he's just saved me from an upcoming panic attack.

"Ah, I'm afraid that I'm here talking Sutton's ear off." Amy gives him a flashy smile, her teeth displayed for added effect. Yet the man just stares blankly until she tenses, dropping her smile. Clearing her throat, she squeaks, "Sorry, I'll get to work."

To see Amy without a smile is an odd sight. To see her afraid is just as weird. But Chandler Novak has that effect on people.

"Let's go, Sutton. There's an important meeting we're going to have today and I need to talk you through it. Have you had a chance to look at the schedule?" He walks past me, turning his body to avoid bumping shoulders. Following after him, I listen as the coffee sloshes around in the cup and it reminds me that this is for him.

Clearing my throat, I shuffle after him. When we enter his office, I close the door behind me. Even after a week of working here, the view is still as breathtaking as the first day. Since it's only eight in the morning, the sun shines brightly after rising an hour ago. There's still a chill outside, but the clear sky is something to cherish.

"Um," I mumble, finishing my examination of the outside. "This coffee is for you, sir." I set the cup on his desk and step back.

He nods at me, an eyebrow raised. "Thank you. I appreciate the gesture." Reaching forward, he sips the beverage before nodding. "It's great. Thank you again."

Fighting a smile, I nod my head. It grows quiet before shuffling papers fill the office. I watch my boss as he riffles through manila folders and documents. When he finds what he's looking for, he holds it out for me. Slowly and with cautious movements, I take the folder from him.

"The meeting will be held in my office since it's a single individual. I'm getting ready to negotiate a possible share in a company. They're game manufacturers who have filed bankruptcy and are having to sell part of their stock. With that being said, I'll be meeting with the CEO of the company today to hopefully make a deal." His words start as a jumbled mess before I put everything together in my head properly.

Nodding, I open the envelope and flip through to see what I'm going to be dealing with. Despite what I have a degree in, the words are confusing for me. I think it may be because of leftover anxiety from my near episode earlier.

"I want you there as a note taker, but I need you to also get some PowerPoints pulled up for the presentation," he continues while I only nod. "Next time, I'll allow you to make the presentation yourself, but the PowerPoint is already sent to you. I'll need you to set things up in about thirty minutes."

"How long will the meeting last?" I ask, clearing my throat of the cracking. "Sorry."

"Hopefully not long," he answers. "Until I call you, you can return to your desk."

The conversation is over with those parting words. I scurry out of his office and take my seat at my desk. Picking up and sipping my chai tea latte, I'm slightly bummed that it's now lukewarm. I'm not in a setting to waste, so I continue to sip on it until my name is called. When I check the time, I nearly choke at seeing that twenty minutes have passed and I've yet to finish some of the reports from yesterday.

Gathering my laptop and the manila folder, I knock on the door and wait for admittance. Mister Novak is standing next to a shelf when I walk in. Somehow, I've never noticed it there until now. Binders line each row and I watch as he pulls one out.

"You can start setting up. Pull up the PowerPoint and hook your laptop up to the projector," he tells me, his eyes firmly on whatever is in the binder. "The CEO of Misco will be here soon."

"Okay, sounds good." I get to work on setting everything up. Another thing I missed earlier was the projector that's been rolled in here.

I fumble with the cords as I plug the devices together. When it blinks on, I breathe in relief to see nothing is broken. As I'm relaxing, someone knocks on the door and I grow tense all over again. Mister Novak walks up and pulls it open to reveal a woman.

Her long black hair flows behind her as she walks in and right to one of the guest chairs my boss has. She didn't even wait for a reply. Each step she took was coated in confidence. Her briefcase slams down on the desk as she crosses one leg over the other. Glancing at Mister Novak, the blankness of his face surprises me. Saying nothing, he walks to his desk and takes a seat.

"Let's talk business," he says, his voice in its usual monotone drone.

***

The meeting lasted a full hour. During it, I was stuck in agony. Every second, it felt like Miss Nguyen had her eyes on me. Yet when I would look, they would be talking business, focused solely on each other. This caused me to have red cheeks throughout the whole meeting. I could just feel the heat all over my face.

I couldn't even look at her without breaking into a sweat.

"People always make you nervous?" Mister Novak asks as I unhook my laptop from the projector.

His unexpected question makes me snap my head in his direction. With wide eyes, I shake my head slowly. "I'm sorry, sir? What do you mean?"

"Are you always nervous around people?" His words are deliberately slow, making me feel like some type of fool or a child.

"Um," I cough and swallow at the same time. The choking sound fills the office and I grow nervous and embarrassed. "I don't... no?"

He raises an eyebrow before crossing his hands over his desk. "Where did you come from, Sutton?"

"A small town called Crystalwood. It's kind of far from here... maybe three or four hours?"

"You don't like women?"

An involuntary squeak leaves me at his next question. My mouth pops open as I gape at him. "I—I'm not gay."

"I apologize if that seems like what I was suggesting. It is not. I just noticed that you tend to grow nervous around people, but mainly around female company. Each meeting we've had, the women have made you twice as uncomfortable. Today, you went unnaturally red." He cocks his head to the side and just barely, I can see a small quirk in his lips. This is the first smile I've ever seen from the man himself.

But I don't know what to say in reply to him. He's gotten it spot on. Can I blame my mother? No, it's not just her. Being bullied as a child has set this path up for me. Yes, my mother keeping me close has also landed me here, but I love my mom and I could never blame her.

"It's okay," I mumble, trying to smile off how awkward I actually feel. It doesn't work as it's more of a grimace than anything. "I still have some codes to test out, so maybe I should get to work."

Quickly gathering my things, I turn and try to make a quick getaway. My steps are clumsy like a baby who has just learned to walk. Still, I try to be cautious of what I'm doing so I don't come off as some kind of freak. Just when I'm reaching for the door, he calls out to me. Slumping my shoulders, I turn to face my boss, wondering what he'll say now.

"This weekend," he starts, leaning back in his chair, "my cousin and I will be going out. If you don't have any plans, I would appreciate your presence."

"Me?" My tone is surprised and meek as I stare at him, incredulous at his proposal.

"Yes, you, Sutton." He sighs, looking away for a moment. "It's nothing too crazy but a weekend with the boys. Think of it like that.

A weekend with the boys. The sentence rolls in my head and I grow used to it. I imagine saying it with a smile and a laugh. A sleepover with my brother is the closest thing to a boys' weekend I've ever experienced. That can't be counted, seeing as up until four years ago, we lived in the same house and he was my only friend. Going out with actual men who aren't my brother is something I'll never have experienced.

Is it worth it? Will I be okay? Can I do it?

"Okay."