I watch in fear as Sam races towards where Micah and Edwin stand between the large brindle bull and Dwayne who is leading Justin to the relative safety of the undergrowth. I see Malcolm and Chris rushing towards where the bull stands raking at the dirt with his massive front feet; he bellows his rage and kneels to rub his head in the dirt as well. Robby and Mikkarl are racing towards Dwayne and Justin from different places while Steven and Timny are rushing to aid those facing the bull. I rush along the tree line to stand where Dwayne and Justin are heading; I rub my head against Justin’s shoulder as he halts beside me. Robby and Mikkarl take up a defensive position out from us while Dwayne and Mitchell race towards the others now gathered around the bull. I watch the toms’ fan out around the front end of the bull. Micah is directly in front of him and he roars his challenge at the bull making me shiver with a mixture of excitement and fear. I watch as the toms make quick lunges towards the bull, dodging out of harms way at the last second as the bull drops his head to meet them.

I quickly see how they work as a team, one or more distracting the bull as others dart in from behind or to the sides to try to deliver damaging blows. The bull goes down in one hind leg and I realise someone has hamstrung him on that side. He bellows his rage and pain before trying to charge forward at two of the toms only to go down as the other hind leg is hamstrung as well. The bull is quickly pulled to the ground and I quiver with excitement as his struggles quickly diminish. Justin whines beside me and I nose his shoulder but refuse to follow when he wants to move forward. Robby and Mikkarl have crept forward a good distance, but I wait for some signal or call from those around the bull. Micah stands up and looks towards us; he calls to us then drops his head to the carcass. I allow Justin to run ahead of me as we follow Robby and Mikkarl. I slow as we approach the kill and hang back as the other three rushes forward to join in the feast.

I eye the clan of cats eating their kill and crouch down nervously. I know better than to approach another cat’s kill but I was called to it and I am hungry. Mitchell calls to me but I only whine and move nervously. Micah raises his head; calls and I cower to the ground. He advances towards me slowly and I hiss in fear but he merely lowers his head and sniffs towards me and calls softly. I wriggle on my stomach nervously as he nudges my shoulder gently; I crawl towards the kill and cower down once again. Micah returns to the kill and eats several mouthfuls before looking at me and calling again. I creep forward a little ways and sniff towards the carcass but make no move to touch it. I watch as the others eat hungrily and finally I pluck up enough courage to sneak forward and grab a mouthful of meat and rip it free before retreating to gulp it down. I repeat this process several times until I gain enough courage to stand in place and eat several mouthfuls before retreating then returning for more food.

One by one the toms stop feeding and move away to clean themselves. I keep a wary eye on the others as I eat and when Mitchell comes over near me, I snarl defensively and back away from the kill. He moves away and I return to the kill to finish my meal. I am licking my muzzle when Micah heads my way and I cower away from him as he sniffs at me. I cringe when he starts licking my shoulder and I hiss in fear. Chris walks over with a growl and Micah moves away to leave me sitting with Chris. I clean my muzzle and face before I lay down in the shade from a small bush and roll onto my back. I look at the toms lying around and roll onto my belly and get to my feet slowly. I move from one to another checking none of them are injured and smoothing rough fur here and there. Mitchell hooks a foreleg over my neck and I tumble down on top of him as he wrestles me playfully. Chris comes over and chews playfully on one of my legs while Mitchell pulls at another. After a few minutes we stretch out lazily and drift off to sleep. I wake after several hours and sit up to look around. Micah and Sam are at the kill eating again and Malcolm, Dwayne and Steven soon join them.

When Chris wakes and returns to the kill I join them and soon everyone is eating again. This time when we finish there isn’t much of the bull left and Micah moves off at a steady walk. I follow for a while before lying down once again. A demanding call from Micah has me on my feet and moving once again to catch up with them. The journey back to the quarters takes us time and we arrive to a dark building. The toms begin to shift back to human form outside but I head inside to the bathroom before shifting and claim the first shower. I wrap myself in a towel before heading to Chris and Malcolm’s room and pulling on clothes; I climb into bed and make myself comfortable to sleep off my two large feeds. I can hear the toms laughing and talking in the lounge room and lay listening to them. It isn’t too long before a form appears at the doorway and I watch it uneasily.

"Rosy? You asleep?" Sam asks.

"No."

"Come on come out in the lounge room. You can even have the lounge to sleep on if you want," he tells me as he comes into the room.

I hesitate a moment before pushing the covers back and swinging my legs over the side of the bed. I pull on an old comfortable pair of track pants over my underwear and straighten my t-shirt before following Sam out to the others. They immediately move off the lounge and I lie down on my stomach and look around at them as they settle themselves nearby.

"You’ve had enough to eat?" Micah asks as he looks at me.

"Yeah," I say and yawn. He laughs looking pleased and stretches his legs out making himself comfortable.

"I’d like to know what the hell that bull was doing there," Edwin says sounding annoyed.

"Some of us had better go check the boundary fences tomorrow, see if he got in that way," Micah sounds very relaxed.

"He made one hell of a meal though," Steven utters and the others laugh.

"Yeah, that he did," Sam agrees.

"Who made the kill?" I ask curiously.

"Both Sam and I took him down to be on the safe side," Micah tells me as he looks directly at me. "He was one big fellow."

"That was your first time you ate someone else’s kill wasn’t it?" Steven remarks.

"Micah kept calling me to the food," I say defensively.

"If he hadn’t one of us would have - being part of a clan means we look after each other," Mitchell says as he settles himself against the lounge and uses my side as a pillow. I feel someone touching my hair and lift my head to see Chris seated at the end of the lounge where he can touch me. The look in his eyes makes my breasts ache and a tingle start low in my stomach.

"That hunt wasn’t anything like that red bull being taken down," I mutter as I remember the shear savagery of that attack.

"You have seen a red bull taken down?" Micah asks lightly.

"Pete, you and Steven were there, on the other side of the clearing watching. The wind was blowing across the clearing so it wouldn’t have taken any of our scents to one of the other groups. I watched the strays all attack at once. Red Devil ground one cat into the dirt with his head before he went down." I hide my face in the cushion of the lounge for a moment before I lift my head once again. "I’d been out to help Donald Caruthers vaccinate those three bulls the month before. Red Devil was a big sook."

"Hell, we didn’t even know there was another cat watching! And that bull took out another cat before he was pulled down a second time," Steven says as if he almost respected the fight that Red Devil had shown.

"No one was meant to know I was there," I snap, realizing what I had done and shake my head. "No one was meant to know I was there. I intended to hide my presence."

"What do you reckon the difference between the two kills was," Micah asks and I think for a moment before replying.

"The strays did it for the thrill of the kill. It was all about bloodshed for the sake of bloodshed. Earlier was for food, carried out with skill and precision and humanity," I say firmly.

"Yeah that sums up what those strays had done pretty well. It’s called bloodlust: killing only for the sake of the kill and the taste of blood, nothing else," Micah agrees.

"Yeah," Sam nods.

"I noticed you were smart enough to stand back and leave the kill to us," Edwin grins at me.

"Yeah, I protected Rosy. Or I would have if that bull came our way," Justin puffs his chest up proudly.

"Main thing is you followed orders," Micah says sounding pleased with his brother.

"Rosy was smart enough to know what to do. She didn’t get in our way and didn’t run off and disappear," Mitchell states. I roll onto my side and look at Mitchell. I can see the sadness in his eyes and realise it is because he doesn’t know when I’ll disappear next. I sit up and ruffle his hair fondly; I don’t understand why I am so driven to be around him and Sam. I am not attracted to either of them the way I am to Chris and yet I feel more driven to stay with them. I have to wonder if it is because we are siblings.

"How long you going to be here this time?" Sam asks and I shrug.

"Don’t know," I admit.

"You’re going to be here as long as we got enough food to feed ya aren’t you," Edwin teases.

"Talking about food, I guess we’ll be eating beef until we get rid of all those cows," Micah announces.

"Why?" Justin asks.

"Even just two of us can handle a full grown cow, but put a calf at foot and it’s different entirely," Steven explains.

"The instinctive need to protect its young," I say.

"Yeah and with you, Jazzy, Donny and … yeah well we can’t risk it." Micah says with a look my way.

"I don’t need protecting," Justin refutes.

"He wasn’t talking about you silly," Edwin says looking my way.

"Well I’ve always avoided livestock and intend to in the future as well," I say.

"Those cattle were bought for the sole purpose of eating," Dwayne says.

"I notice you weren’t backwards about having two large meals," Chris grins at me.

"I was hungry," I say and stick my tongue out at him. Chris laughs and steals a kiss.

"Hey some people are trying to digest a meal here," Steven complains and several others chuckle.

"So was your steak done to your liking Rosy?" Edwin asks with a wide grin.

"Sure was! Freshly killed and still running blood! Yum!" I say and laugh.

"How about we drag some mattresses out here and bunk down for the night," Sam asks. "We let Rosy have the lounge."

"Sounds like an idea," Micah agrees.

"You stay there Miss Spotty One and I’ll bring a blanket and pillow out for you," Mitchell says as he gets to his feet.

I lay on the lounge, too comfortable to bother moving. The toms bring out an array of mattresses and put them on the floor of the lounge room dropping pillows and the odd blanket on them.

"Who wants a beer," Edwin asks as he heads for the kitchen.

"Got any bourbon?" I ask.

"You like the hard stuff do you?" Sam asks as he heads to the kitchen as well.

"Either on ice or with cola," I tell him.

"You should stick with soft drinks," Mitchell tells me.

"Mitchell, I’ve been to a few college parties so I know how to handle my alcohol," I say dryly.

"What you just got drunk, not falling down drunk?" Malcolm asks with a laugh.

"Neither," I growl at him without conviction.

When Sam returns he hands me a plastic cup half full with liquid and I sniff it before sipping it. The bourbon is of high quality and I let it trickle down my throat slowly enjoying the burn as it goes down. All of the toms have an alcoholic drink of some kind except for Justin who has a can of coke. The TV is turned onto a movie channel and I lazily watch it as I continue to sip my drink. When I put my empty glass on the floor Chris asks if I want another drink but I shake my head and make myself comfortable with the pillow and blanket Mitchell got for me. I soon grow drowsy from the combination of food and alcohol and close my eyes as I listen to the soft murmur of the toms as they talk.

"Whoever’s closest to the switch turn the light off," Edwin says. "Justin’s asleep so is Rosy."

"Not quite," I mumble.

"Warm enough?" Chris asks.

"You watch. Lover

–boy is going to offer to warm her up," Edwin mutters to someone and I hear a smothered laugh.

"Not while her brothers and Micah are in the room if he has a lick of sense," Mikkarl says quietly.

"How about you lot shut your mouths before I do it for you?" Micah asks in a low dangerous voice.

The sudden rise of aggression in the room has me shivering nervously and I abandon the lounge to cuddle up between Mitchell and Sam. I feel Mitchell tuck his blanket around me and I snuggle up to his chest as I make myself comfortable.

"Hey Rosy, remember that’s your brother not lover-boy," Edwin taunts me. I hear someone get to their feet then there is an audible thud followed by a second one and Edwin grunts in pain. I can feel Mitchell stroking my back through the blanket as if to stop me getting upset.

"You saved me the trouble Micah," Sam says beside me and I realise he is on his feet.

"No problems," Micah remarks and I hear him settling down on his mattress once again.

"You beat me to it as well," Steven mutters sounding unhappy about missing out on hitting Edwin. I hear several others settling back into their spots and smile to myself as I realise how many of them care about me.

I wake to the predawn light and I am startled to find myself looking at Sam’s sleeping face until I remember the previous night. Carefully I ease from beneath Mitchell’s arm and sit up to look around. The toms are scattered around the room on mattresses still asleep. I get to my feet and step up onto the lounge and jump over the back to land lightly on my feet with only the softest noise on landing. I glance back to make sure I disturbed no-one before heading for the toilet.

When I make my way out to the kitchen I begin getting the food for breakfast out to cook. A search of the pantry rewards me with several packets of plain muffin mix while a search of the freezer supplies mixed berries. I quickly make the muffin mixes and add the berries. A lack of cases for the muffin tins only slows me until I find baking paper and soon the smell of muffins cooking fills the kitchen. I start the first pan full of sausages and one of bacon before removing the first batch of muffins from the oven. I pluck the piping hot muffins from the tray and add more lining paper and mix before putting the tray back in the oven to bake. I manage to save the bacon and sausages from burning and put bread in the toaster before grabbing plates to put the nearly cooked meat on.

"Looks like you could do with a hand there," Steven says as he moves to check the sausages as I remove the bacon from the pan and start adding more.

"Thanks," I say and stand back to check on everything. Steven is busy removing cooked sausages and replacing them with uncooked ones and I turn my attention to the oven and decide the muffins need a few more minutes.

"Some of us are going to need coffee more than others this morning," Micah remarks as he sets about starting the coffee brewing. I grab us a muffin each and hand one to Steven and Micah before heading back to turn the bacon. Both of them are busy eating when I glance their way.

"Wow! Muffins!" Justin exclaims loudly as he grabs a couple and bites into one.

"Only one now and you can have more after breakfast, but I am saving some for Jazzy and Donovan if they come over today," I say firmly.

Sam takes the second muffin off Justin as he comes into the kitchen and he grins as he takes a large bite out of the muffin before he has the paper liner off completely. "Hmmm, ‘ese err ‘ood," he manages around a mouthful of food.

"Hey Rosy," Mitchell greets me with a cuddle before heading off to grab a muffin.

"I hope someone has started the coffee," Edwin mumbles as he stumbles into the kitchen looking more asleep than awake.

By now all of the toms are awake and filing into the kitchen as I remove the next batch of muffins from the oven and redo the last lot to be put in. Someone has taken over the bacon and I am able to put the muffins in the oven and help myself to a cup of coffee before standing back and watching the others dishing up breakfast for themselves.

"The muffins have never tasted this good when we tried to make them," Malcolm comments.

"It’s all about adding berries or apple and cinnamon or pineapple and coconut or even chocolate chunks," I say as I stop sipping my coffee for the moment.

"You’ll have to write down how to do that," Dwayne says.

"Or stay around and make them for us," Mitchell gives a cheeky grin but I see the worry I’ll run off again beneath it. I snatch a piece of bacon off his plate and grin at him before moving to dish up my own food leaving my cup of coffee by the chair I plan to sit in. I keep glancing back at it nervously but force myself not to rush back and grab it in the middle of dishing up my food.

"You’re getting a lot better with things," Sam comments as I slip into the seat between Mitchell and Chris.

"Sometimes I manage it, sometimes I don’t," I say and shrug.

"At least you’re trying," Mitchell tells me.

"It’s not about trying," I say. "It’s knowing or maybe believing it’s not going to be stolen. Or like at the kill yesterday, knowing I wouldn’t be attacked and mauled for touching it," I explain.

"When we found you you didn’t have scars as if you’ve been attacked before," Sam comments. I glance at the pink scars on Mitchell’s cheek and forehead and turn my face so the light from the lounge room hits my cheek and I raise my hand and trace the faint fine line I know runs up the right side of my nose then across below my eye to nearly the outside corner.

"Skin glue and plastic skin from a vet does amazing things for wounds. There’s a couple more but none have been serious because I never stay around long enough," I say quietly. I feel Mitchell’s fingertips brush my skin as he traces the very faint line.

"You’ve doctored yourself?" Sam asks.

"I couldn’t walk up to a hospital and say can you stitch me up because I got clawed up while I was a cat," I tell him evenly. I can almost feel their stress and worry and it actually hurts me they are worried for me.

"If you were here it wouldn’t be an issue," Mitchell states and grabs hold of my hand. I try to jerk it away too agitated for the contact but he refuses to let go and I jump to my feet as I struggle to pull free. He stands as well and I attempt to back away from the table.

"You’re our sister! We only want to look after you!" Mitchell protests, "If that bastard hadn’t stolen you, you would have …"

I turn my head to glare at Mitchell as I go still my temper flaring wildly, "Do not talk about my father like that!" I warn.

"He wasn’t your father!" Mitchell yells back at me. It seems I am not the only one who has a temper.

"You will let go of me and I will go for a walk. You and Sam can come if you want but when I start talking you will shut up and listen because I am not going to hear you call my father another name without retaliating," I warn in a low snarl of a tone. I pull my hand free and head for the outdoors, not bothering to see if either or both of them follow me.

I sit on the fallen log and throw pebbles into the stream watching as the rings move out towards the edges of the stream.

"I always knew Harry wasn’t my natural father. His mother was a Native American while his father was Jamaican and as he said he understood my soul. He taught me about the outdoors when he preferred motor racing. He went to every parent/teacher meeting no matter what. We hardly ever lived indoors and he taught me what I could and couldn’t eat from the land, how to trap animals," I take a deep breath and sigh without looking at either of my brothers.

"It never mattered what I’d done, what I said when I was angry, I knew I might get in trouble for it but I also knew he’d still love me. And he was the most gentle, compassionate non-violent man. Heck he was a vegetarian but he trapped animals for me. Killed them, prepared them and cooked them. He taught me to only kill what I needed for food - never take more than I need and never ever kill for the sake of killing. He let most of the animals we trapped go without any cruelty," I turn my head and look at my two brothers before I continue speaking.

"The day I was attacked by the werecat he came home early because he felt I needed him - he said he felt my need as any parent would. He wrapped me up and we were headed to his uncle’s place to get a more comfortable vehicle for the two-hour trip to the hospital … we came around a corner and there were two big black cats on the road. Harry swerved and we ended up in a ditch, the Ute tipped over onto the passenger side. I can remember I started screaming when they started turning into men."

I take a deep breath and look away as I push my remembered horror from my mind. "Harry grabbed me and shook me and told me I had to listen to him. He said that they would kill him because he knew what they were, what I was. He told me to always remember that he had loved me like I was his own flesh and blood and that there was not an ounce of bad in me. He had loved my mother and me and he wanted me to remember that. He said … he said to remember everything he had taught me. That he could only give me a few moments at the most but he knew I would only need the little time he could buy me before they killed him. And then he climbed out his window blew me a kiss and walked towards them carrying a tyre iron while I climbed out the broken back window and ran from the cat …"

I give a tight little laugh, "I’d changed when I saw the cats on the road and didn’t realise it until later - much much later. I didn’t realise the shadow I ran from was my own." I look at my brothers and take a deep breath to prevent the tears that always threatened when I remember how I had lost my father. "So don’t ever say he was not my father and don’t ever call him names. I have done my best ever since to be the kind of person he would be proud of."

"I can understand why you call Harry your father, and you’re right. He was a father to you in every way that mattered to both of you," Mitchell tells me quietly.

"Can I ask what our mother named you? Pete often calls you Tawny and you call yourself Rosy," Sam asks levelly.

"Tawny Rosalind," I say quietly, "I often feel like there’s two different halves of me, the human half and the cat half."

"And that’s why you use the two different names," Mitchell guesses.

"But Rosy you are a werecat, not a human," Mitchell points out gently. "You need to learn to be a werecat. Make peace with your inner cat."

"Don’t you see I’m neither? I’m not a werecat, not truly, not totally. But I’m not a human either. I don’t belong in either world," I say painfully.

"When you are having trouble coping with a situation, or you don’t understand something, tell one of us. We will help you in whatever way we can," Mitchell tells me earnestly.

"We will have to teach you how to be a werecat," Sam says simply, "Help you make friends with your inner cat."

After several minutes, Sam finally asks, "Back to the two werecats that were on the road that day with Harry - were either of the cats the one who attacked you?"

"Yeah, he was the smaller one. His father said ‘I lost the bitch twice but my son will have the whelp’," I remember bitterly.

"Did you ever find out who either of the cats were?" Sam asks after a long silence.

"Vaygar and Kendal Darnel. They have hounded me ever since," I snarl and hear the low angry growls that come from both toms.

"And can you please not growl around me. I inherited a non-violent nature from Harry and aggression scares me. And I hate the way you, Mitchell, expect me to run away all the time. It upsets me when you’re upset. I only run away because I’m scared or because I can’t cope with what’s happening," I say and look at the ground unhappily. "My inner cat comes out and when I’m a cat, human emotion and troubles are very distant for me. It gives me time to be able to cope with things."

"Ok here’s a question you might not like, but remember I am your big brother and I am only trying to look out for you. Are you letting Chris mount you and are you using protection?" Sam asks.

"Are all brothers this nosy," I demand as I look away from them in embarrassment.

"In werecat society it is generally the brothers of a she-kitt who deal with their sisters’ relationships and stuff, believe it or not," Sam tells me levelly. "There are some occasions a mother will step in … but you’re stuck with us."

"All of the warriors at the quarters have at least had the Tom and She-kitt talk with their sisters. I know Steven and his brothers have told a couple of toms to move on that their sister didn’t want around," Mitchell says evenly.

I groan and shake my head before glancing at them. "There’s been a lot of kissing and touching but the one time he tried to … I started to freak out because I suddenly remembered the pain … He backed off immediately. We’ve done some things that feel really good since then but he hasn’t tried to … mount me again," I say embarrassed.

"Do you want him to?" Sam asks straight to the point.

"I know theoretically it won’t hurt if I want him. But also I’m scared it will. And yeah I’m very curious about what it’ll feel like," I mutter and turn away.

"Ok, here’s just an idea for you to think about. Carlotta, Lotty, the she-kitt I visit and get the invitations from, had her first time outside of her heat. A lot of she-kitts do. Lotty is Malcolm and Chris’s sister by the way."

"Anyway I was at their compound and we were all sprawled out like last night only Lotty ended up cuddling up between me and another tom that wasn’t her brother, and that is an invitation. She started kissing him and I got to get real friendly from behind and next thing I knew she was on her hands and knees presenting and I mounted her. She squealed and cried all the way through it because she had been a virgin but she didn’t say stop," Sam tells me.

"Did you notice Micah had his mattress right next to Chris’," Mitchell asks.

"No I didn’t. I only knew where you and Sam were because of all the agro that suddenly started up," I turn my head to look at Mitchell suspiciously then at Sam. "Is there any reason why you mentioned where Micah was?"

"You were paying a lot of attention to him last night. Apparently you, him and Steven have been getting quite friendly," Sam remarks.

"I don’t understand," I say confused.

"Micah has been openly interested in you, has made sure you knew what he was thinking. He reckons you haven’t been telling him to back off or leave you alone. The most you do is retreat for a while before joining back in with the group," Sam explains.

"Have you been talking about me?" I demand.

"Micah did mention he intends to see if he can get you to stop sleeping in Chris’s bed and move into his bed," Mitchell supplies.

"Doesn’t he respect the fact I like Chris?" I ask angrily.

"It’s not uncommon for a warrior to … shall we say satisfy a she-kitt’s needs when she isn’t seeing someone. And Micah says all he has smelt is your … pleasure and the fact you haven’t done the same kind of service for Chris," Mitchell says quietly.

I think about this remark for a few minutes and realise that while I like Chris I am more interested in the sensations he stirs in my body than I am in Chris.

"Can I ask, what did you mean when you said Lotty ‘presented’," I say with an embarrassed glance Sam’s way.

"Humans call it the doggy position, but us cats use it as a very non confrontational position when the she-kitt is scared for some reason or feels threatened by the tom," Sam explains. "If Chris had been serious about wanting to mount you he’d have tried it that way."

"Are you saying that Chris isn’t really interested, that he’s just filling my ‘needs’," I ask uncertainly.

"Actually yeah, pretty sure that’s it," Sam tells me gently, "But it gives you someone you trust if you want to experiment with one of the toms that are interested - Micah, Steven and Edwin."

I look away surprised to find that I am not at all upset that Chris might not be that ‘into’ me. This surprises me. So does the fact that I am interested in ‘experimenting’ with either Steven or Micah.

"You know the way werecats do things are totally different to the way humans do. If you were human I’d be telling you to mind your own business which would not be your sister’s sex life, or the lack there of," I say levelly.

"Are you telling us to back off?" Sam asks.

"I’m saying …" my voice trails off and I look down at my hands. " I’m saying I’m touched you care enough to try to look out for me even if I don’t like the idea of you talking about me with the others ‘that’ way."

"How long are you planning to stay around?" Mitchell wants to know.

"I honestly don’t know. All I know is I can’t stay away. I keep wanting to see you guys," I mumble.

"That’s the blood bond. It’s an instinct to stay together and look after the younger siblings or the she-kitt. About the only thing that over rides it is if one of the toms is lucky enough to get married to a she-kitt. Then he moves to her parents’ territory," Sam explains.

"Where do I stand considering I don’t … considering I was virtually a stray," I ask curiously.

"Wade and Marissa are hoping you’ll stay. Jazzy has always been very sickly and she wasn’t expected to live to ten let alone fifteen or to nearly full adulthood like she has," Sam tells me quietly.

"Is that why Micah, Edwin and Steven are interested? To try to force me to stay," I jump to my feet and begin to pace agitatedly.

"When we believed you were a stray Micah was glad you had been found. Oh he was sorry for what you had been through but he apparently took a real liking to you when he met you at Pete’s," Mitchell’s voice is soft and calm but I turn around to glare at him.

"That was only because I was coming into heat," I snap.

"Think what you want to because I know you will, but we know all of the others a lot better than you do and it’s the truth when we tell you that it is you they are interested in, not a replacement for Jazzy. It’s a shame you can’t see yourself from a tom’s point of view. Pretty, spirited and pleasant company when you’re not looking to argue about everything," Sam states and crosses his arms across his chest in a ‘so there’ attitude.

I am just about to snap that I know exactly why toms like me when I realise I am basing all my beliefs on the way strays have treated me and disregarding the way the toms here have treated me.

"I got nearly nine years of experience of how stray toms treat she-kitts, and if you stop and work it out, I’ve only experienced how I get treated here by the clan toms. And believe it or not, for me it is a lot better to be safe than sorry."

"You got a good point there, I must admit," Sam looks at Mitchell who nods his agreement.

"That’s why I ended up trying to talk to both of you and make you understand why I get upset when you disrespected my Dad. I’m learning how to relate to you but it’s hard because you didn’t understand how you were hurting me. And I didn’t want to end up running away because I’d only end up coming back again."

"Well take it from someone who cares about you, I would tell the guys to keep away from you if they didn’t care about you as you. And I don’t care that Micah could pound the daylights out of me for it. If I thought it was in your best interests I would do it," Sam tells me earnestly.

"I type of understand the dominance thing I think, but exactly how does it work and who is where," I ask curiously.

"Wade is Alpha of the clan, number one. Marissa as his mate is due all the respect due to him. Micah is the dominant tom - he’s biggest, strongest and smartest. I’m next, Edwin and Malcolm are bigger but I’m meaner," Sam smiles at me and I have to laugh.

"Steven, Edwin and Malcolm are about even followed by Mitchell here. Dwayne, then Chris and Timny. Mikkarl, then Robby and lastly Justin because he’s youngest and untried in the field. Donny is still a kid but you and Jazzy have ‘status’ as She-kitts. Toms that are a part of the clan but don’t live here are either outliers or simply non-dominant members of the clan."

"But I have no place here; I’m not a member of the clan. I never have been," I deny quickly.

"You’re a member of the clan because you’re our sister and us warriors as a group chose to take care of you when you were injured when we believed you were a stray," Sam explains. "We’ve all seen the way you recognise the more dominant members and display submission. You just need time to learn."

"So I’m a good little she-kitt because I pretend like I respect my betters," I ask dryly.

"Not at all," Sam says. "Now as much as I am enjoying getting to know you, Mitchell and I need to get back because we’ll be working today and you need to finish your breakfast."

I get to my feet and go to follow them back to the compound and the quarters, but Sam motions me forward and when I am level with him he puts an arm across the top of my shoulders as we walk. Mitchell catches my hand on his side and Sam lets his arm drop to catch my other hand. I am content to walk along like this and I am still holding their hands when we walk up to the back door of the quarters.

"Good, you’re back," Micah comments when Sam and Mitchell join the toms in the lounge room and I head to the kitchen to eat. "Sam, Mitchell you can come out to the pasture. We’re checking the fence line and we’ll try to do a head count and work out what is in the pasture. We need to know if there are any more bulls. Anything with horns, in calf or with calves at foot. Chris, Timny, Robby, Mikkarl and Justin you’re to stay here at the compound and do the chores. Rosy do you want to come out to the pasture? You’ll need a good feed now in case you have to shift and you are to keep well away from the livestock and do exactly as you’re told when you’re told."

"Yeah, I can check out the cattle if you have got binoculars," I offer around a mouthful of food.

"Good idea. Binoculars will give us a better view from a distance," Micah comments. "But you’ll stay where we know where you are at all times."

"Bikes or jeeps?" Sam asks.

"A jeep for fencing equipment and emergency transport, bikes for the rest of us," Micah decides. "You can ride a motorbike can’t you Rosy?"

"Never learnt to," I say with a shrug.

"Well you’re not learning today. You can drive the jeep. Dwayne you go with her," Micah decides. I listen as Micah outlines exactly what he wants done today while I eat my food; I grab a bottle of juice and drink it before heading off to put on my new sneakers. The jeep is a fairly new model and it is already packed with all that should be needed to repair any damaged fencing. I get behind the wheel and we follow the motorbikes across the clearing.

Micah, Steven and Sam have big racing four-wheel bikes while the others are on big powerful dirt bikes. I follow the tracks of where vehicles have been driven before and we soon lose sight of the bikes, but I know Dwayne has a two-way radio as do the others. When we do come to the fence, Dwayne directs me which way to go and we start to travel along the fence line checking for any signs of damage. It is well around the back of the pasture that we find a large tree down across a post. I stop the jeep and we get out surveying the damage. I study the marks on the ground and squat down at the downed fence and eye the marks there.

"See that hoof mark," I say pointing to a big print that has pressed deep into the ground. "That would have been the bull. See the brindle hairs on the wire here as well," I pluck a few hairs out of the wire and hold it to my nose.

"Can you tell much from the tracks here?" Dwayne asks.

"There was the bull and see there - several smaller beasts probably not full grown yet. At least one big full grown beast … no, make that three or four." I stop and pick up a small piece of white almost rubber like substance caught in a strand of barbed wire and sniff it and pass it to Dwayne. "A calf only a few hours old, two days at the most. Still smells slightly of amniotic fluid, this soft stuff coats the hooves for protection for the cow. It’s in there."

"I’m going to tell Micah what you reckon. They’ll be coming from there," Dwayne points to the fence line the other side of the tree. "I’ll start on cutting the tree off the fence."

I look at the trees on the inside of the pasture and spot one I am sure I can climb up into easily. I get the binoculars from the jeep and stop beside Dwayne where he is studying the branches on the fallen tree.

"I’m going to go climb up that big tree there, sit on one of the bigger branches and have a look with these to see if I can see any cattle nearby. Chances are they won’t have gone far with the fresh feed," I tell him.

"I’m coming to the tree with you to make sure you don’t run into that cow and calf," Dwayne tells me firmly and I don’t protest as we walk towards the trees. When we reach the tree I indicated, I look up into the branches from below, pick my place and start climbing.

"You’re pretty good at that aren’t you," Dwayne comments.

"Plenty of practice," I say with a laugh as I easily reach the branch I want. I settle myself and wave down at Dwayne who heads back to the fence. I take a notebook and pencil from my pocket before lifting the binoculars to my eyes. I soon find two groups of cattle and note where they are and what is in each group.

"Find anything?" The question startles me and I look down to see Micah.

"Yeah, there’s a group of six beasts well past weaning. Two appear to be ‘Micky’ bulls, older uncut bull calves. One is a black polley which is not horned the other is a Hereford with horns about five or six inches long. The other four appear to be females. In another group are two big bullocks with horns and a cow is feeding near them. I’m sure she has a young calf nearby. Still got a bit of ground to look over though," I reply.

"Come back to the jeep when you’re finished," he orders and heads back to the fence line.

I turn my attention back to surveying the pastureland; I frown when I see a beast off by itself and watch it for a few minutes before getting down from the tree and heading off towards it. I travel quickly and when I get close I slow down and approach the cow cautiously. She swings her head to look at me and attempts to get to her feet but is unable to do more than stand and brace herself spay legged. Two large feet protrude from her vulva and I inch forward as I croon to her.

Finally I am close enough to grasp the protruding legs just above the ankles and when the cow heaves I brace myself and pull hard. The calf moves out a bit and I keep the pressure on as she stands for a few moments before heaving a second time. This time the calf slides free to just behind its front shoulders and I allow the head and neck to hang down and I watch as mucus runs from the mouth as it opens and closes. The next heave allows me to pull the calf until only its hips and hind legs are still hidden. I release my hold and step back wiping my hands on the rough bark of a tree then on damp grass. I watch the cow heave again and the calf slips free and I edge away as she turns her attention to her baby.

I head back towards the fence line watching carefully for any of the other cattle as I go. I am exhilarated by the birth of the calf and I am smiling when I walk out of the trees and along the fence line towards the jeep and fallen tree.

"Where did you go?" Micah asks as I duck between the strands of wire now that the fence is standing upright once again.

"Back through there," I say and lift a hand and point back the way I had come from. "There was a cow down and …"

"Didn’t you listen to what I told you?" Micah demands in a roar. "I said you keep well away from the livestock and we were to know where you were at all times!"

"But the cow was down and she needed help," I protest hotly.

"You disobeyed me," Micah roars at me angrily and I glare back at him.

"I couldn’t not help …" I try to explain to him.

"You will go back to the quarters and I will deal with you when I get back," Micah roars angrily.

"I …"

"GET BACK TO THE QUARTERS NOW!"

I storm to the jeep in a temper and jump into the driver’s seat. I start the motor and I head back the way I came. By the time I reach the quarters I have calmed down and I leave the binoculars, notebook and pencil on the kitchen table before going to the bathroom to scrub my hands to get the smell off them. No one is in the quarters and I pace around as I wait for someone to show up. I only have around an hour wait before Micah comes storming in through the door and stomps through to the lounge room where I am waiting.

"You disobeyed me! Not just once but two separate orders!" His anger sets my temper off and I place my hands on my hips as I glare at him.

"Who the hell do you think you are to try to order me around? Oh blow this for a joke! I do not answer to you!" I yell angrily and turn away to head to the kitchen. I don’t hear Micah move but suddenly he grabs me from behind and we both fall as I stumble over one of the mattresses. My breath is knocked from my body as he lands on me but I am rolled onto my back and I begin hitting and kicking as he tries to pin me beneath him.

"You will answer to me," Micah orders angrily. He catches both my wrists and forces them above my head to hold them in one hard hand; he catches my face in his other hand to glare down at me and forces a knee between my thighs roughly. I buck wildly as he settles his hips in the cradle of my thighs and surges against me; I can feel the hard and large ridge of his erection through both of our clothes as he grinds it into my soft inner folds.

"Who is dominant?" Micah demands glaring at me, and when the only reply he gets is a sob, he strengthens his thrusts between my legs. "Who is dominant?"

"You’re dominant! You’re dominant!" I cry my submission and roll up into a protective ball on my side as he releases me and gets to his feet. He puts his foot on my hips and pushes me roughly, and I am in no doubt that if I were male he would have kicked me hard.

"I am dominant and if you ever dare disobey me or question that in anyway ever again, I will make you submit to me totally," Micah yells at me angrily. I remain motionless as he paces near me. Tears trickle down my cheeks but I refuse to make a sound that may be construed as a plea for leniency. I keep my face buried in the crooks of my elbows and my knees curled up to my stomach as I wait to find out what will happen next.

"I got you a cup of coffee Micah," Steven says nearby.

"I don’t bloody well want it," Micah snaps as he continues to pace near me. I can hear others moving around in the kitchen, at the back of the lounge and in the bedrooms, but no one comes near me except Micah who keeps pacing near by. Finally I hear him go into the kitchen but I don’t move from where I am. I hear footsteps come into the lounge room and I can smell Mitchell, then Micah growls in the kitchen.

"Keep away from her," he warns. The footsteps move away from me and it’s then I know for sure I’ve made some very stupid mistakes today. Not only did I disobey Micah I openly challenged his authority in front of the other toms.

I hear him come into the lounge room and start nervously when he stops beside me. He grasps my wrists and looks at them and when I glance his way he glares at me and I instantly drop my gaze from his face. He takes hold of my chin and I realise he is checking my face for marks from his hold and I know there will be bruising on my wrists from the way they throb.

"Get up and get in my chair until I say you can move," he snaps and I move quickly to do as he orders. I pull my knees up to my chest and bury my face in my knees as I sit in the chair. I hear others move to sit in chairs or on the lounge but no one sits near me and I know I am in disgrace.

"You want that cup of coffee now," Steven asks.

"Yeah," Micah’s voice is still a low angry growl and I don’t chance glancing his way as I hear him moving away.

"Are we going after any of the cattle later," Edwin asks.

"The cow with the calf and maybe one of the ones with horns," Micah decides.

"There’re two cows with calves. The other one was having her calf and it was stuck so I pulled it," I say against my knees. Surely letting Micah know is much better than denying what I had done.

"Why the hell didn’t you tell one of us so we could eliminate one threat before it became worse," Sam demands angrily.

"Get out of my sight before I really hurt you," Micah roars at me and I flee for the safety of Mitchell and Sam’s room.

It is only once I am there I realise I may not be welcome at the moment, so I retreat to a corner of the large sunroom and huddle in a corner. I hear the toms leave and watch as the shadows move across the room as the afternoon passes. No one comes into the quarters and I sit by myself miserably.

It is dark when they return and I stay where I am. I huddle down in the corner when I hear footsteps coming towards my end of the building and recognise Micah’s tread. I squint in the bright light as he switches on the light and remain motionless as he walks over to me. I don’t lift my eyes from the floor when he stops right in front of me.

"Have you eaten?" he asks calmly.

"No," I answer quietly.

"Use the toilet if you have to, then get yourself something to eat and come to the lounge room," Micah orders before walking off. When I have made myself some sandwiches I go to the lounge room and hesitate just at the entrance. No one looks my way and there seems to be no place for me so I sit on the floor against the wall.

"I’ll go into town tomorrow and pick up those few things if you want," Edwin says.

"Quit your sulking and get over here," Micah’s voice has taken on a hard tone and I get to my feet and walk over near where he is. "Sit on the lounge with your brothers and don’t give any trouble."

I sit on the lounge and force myself to eat; when I am finished I take my plate out and dump it in a bin before returning to the lounge and sitting down. I go to lean into Mitchell’s side but he moves away. I look at him but he is ignoring me and I sit back without saying a word. The room is unnaturally quiet and I pull my legs up onto the lounge, hugging my knees as I watch the movie on TV that everyone seems to be watching but nobody is absorbing.

After nearly an hour I can’t take it anymore and get to my feet. I haven’t even reached the doorway when I hear the low growl from Micah. "Get back here."

"I’m tired; I want to go to bed," I say quietly as I stand in the doorway with my head hanging.

"Well get back here. We’re sleeping out here again tonight," Micah orders. I return to the lounge and stretch out on it when both Sam and Mitchell move off it. I lay with my back to the TV and pull the blanket up over my head and close my eyes.

"She asleep or just laying there?" Micah asks.

"I’m not sure," Mitchell answers quietly.

"Malcolm turn the light out," Micah orders and the room goes dark after a few seconds. I uncover my head and lay there listening to the unusual quietness of the toms. Even though I am tired I can’t seem to fall asleep, and it is quite a time later when I feel Mitchell tucking the blanket around my feet.

"I thought for sure she’d be gone when we came back tonight," Mitchell says quietly his voice sounding odd.

"You weren’t the only one bud. But Micah couldn’t let her get away with what she’d done, and you heard her back here when he called her on her behaviour," Dwayne says quietly. "You saw how mad he was when we walked in. She’s real lucky he didn’t show her exactly who is boss in one hell of nasty way."

"As much as we want her to stay, if she doesn’t conform to our rules we might as well not have her here," Micah says softly. "She’ll be a danger to herself and everyone around here."

"She sure is a feisty little thing," Steven says with a laugh.

"It’s going to get cold before morning," Sam says. "I’d better get another blanket or two for Rosy."

"Leave it. She can ask if she wakes up cold," Micah orders. "She needs to start communicating; you can’t just rush to work out whatever she needs."

"She is starting to communicate; we had a good talk this morning. But as she pointed out, she’s had nine or so years as a stray and under a month here," Sam sounds angry.

There is silence for a while and I am nearly asleep when someone stumbles against the lounge. I give a startled gasp and scramble up to sit on my pillow. I see several of the others stir and look my way. I recognise Chris as he heads towards the toilet and I look down where Sam and Mitchell are.

"Mitchell? Sam?" When this gets no reaction I glance around the others noticing some of them watching me.

"What do you want Rosy? Your brothers are asleep. You’re not to wake them," Micah’s tone is firm.

"He scared me," I say not sure how to tell him I want the reassurance of company.

"What do you want?" Micah asks evenly.

"Can I cuddle up next to you," I ask, and then quickly add, "I’m lonely."

"Ok, but you got to behave. No wriggling and squirming," Micah tells me firmly.

"Ok," I say relieved and hurry to slip beneath the blanket beside him. I stretch out facing him close but not touching, I am motionless when Chris returns and lays down behind me, but I am mindful of what Micah said and don’t move. I can hear the soothing sounds of the two heartbeats on either side of me and close my eyes.

I wake to total darkness and the sound of heavy rain. There is a bright flash of light and then the heavy roll of thunder. I roll onto my side so I can see out the window and a large heavy hand settles on my hip.

"Not scared of storms are you," Micah asks quietly from behind my head.

"No, I like watching them," I say in hushed tones.

"The electricity is out," Micah’s voice is soft and his breath stirs the hair on my head as he moves closer and slips an arm over my waist.

"I thought it was too dark," Edwin says. Several flashes of light follow each other closely and thunder rumbles. I hear more of the toms stir but I don’t move even when I hear Sam sit up.

"Rosy’s gone," Sam sounds defeated.

"What?" There is a note of panic in Mitchell’s voice and I push against Micah’s arm. He lets me go and I crawl across to my brothers while trying not to hurt anyone in my way. I sprawl across Sam as I grab Mitchell around the neck and hug him.

"I’m here, I’m here," I tell them and get rolled beneath the blankets. One of them slaps me hard on the butt, I think it’s actually Mitchell, and then I am firmly tucked between them. I can’t see the lightning as well from here but I rub the side of my face against Mitchell’s shoulder and hum in my throat while I clutch Sam’s hand.

"Your hair smells like Micah," Mitchell states and I feel him sniff down the back of my shoulders.

"I don’t like getting sniffed." I warn firmly.

"Tough," Sam says.

"Go to sleep." Mitchell orders. I frown but close my eyes obediently as I snuggle my face against his shoulder.

I arch my whiskers as I yawn and stretch my front legs. I pad out towards the lounge room where the toms are shifting and wait patiently at the door. The electricity has been out all morning and Wade had come to the quarters to inform Micah that he was taking Marissa, Donovan and Jazzy hunting. When Wade left, Micah immediately cornered me and told me I was to obey every order. I was to stay back with Marissa, Donovan and Jazzy and keep well away from the cattle.

I hear cats moving around in the lounge room and poke my head around the corner of the door to look at them. Edwin walks over to greet me and I rub my head on his shoulder before stepping into the room careful to avoid those still shifting. Mitchell comes over and bites my ear gently before moving aside so Micah can greet me but I remember the previous day and cower to the ground hissing defensively as he sniffs me. Micah leads the way outside and I bound along behind him. Sam comes up beside me and I sniff his shoulder as we trot towards the main house. Micah turns and looks at me and I immediately lay down resting my chin on the ground. My ears swivel as I hear cats coming towards us. I have promised to remain like this until Wade is with us.

A small black form races forward and jumps on my front shoulders, biting playfully at my neck and ears. I shudder but hold still with my eyes tightly closed. A soft little whine makes me open my eyes and I see the small frail looking little black cat in front of me. Sharp teeth grab the tip of my tail and I swing my head around to see Donovan standing with my tail in his mouth. Jazzy rubs her head on my shoulder then stands with both front paws on my back. I move my tail lazily only to have Donovan grab it again. I watch the two adult cats walking towards us and press my chin against the ground as Wade comes closer. I feel Jazzy move off me and I stand as Wade steps up to me to extend his nose. I take one quick sniff before moving away nervously. Wade follows me and I hiss defensively but he purrs as he sniffs along my side before moving to greet Micah. Jazzy claims my attention as she rubs against my chest and I lift my head to find Marissa waiting to greet me. We rub our heads together but I can’t move because Jazzy has decided to lie beneath my body and chew at my front leg while I greet her mother.

I turn my head to watch the toms greeting Wade and Marissa but Jazzy claims my attention once again and I let her knock me over sideways as she tries to wrestle with me. I am lying on my side with Jazzy standing over me when Wade gives a call to follow him. I get to my feet careful not to bump Jazzy and shake myself before trotting off behind Micah. We travel steadily and when we do finally reach the pasture Jazzy is visibly tired. It is Micah who shifts back to open the gate and he runs his hand the entire length of my back as I pass by. I turn to watch him as the others come through the opening and for the first time I actually take a good look at his body. I feel nothing other than a vague curiosity in my cat form, but until now even toms in human form had been terrifying. I wonder on my change of view as I lick Jazzy’s shoulder and purr encouragement at her. Marissa comes to rub her head gently against her daughter and sniffs my nose approvingly before we start off again.

Jazzy is moving much slower now and I stay beside her as the toms start to pass us. Mitchell pauses to rub his head against me and Jazzy when she pushes between us to greet him before he speeds up. Justin huffs at his sister as he passes and Jazzy calls after him but he doesn’t slow up. Soon we are trailing behind the others and Jazzy stops in the shade of a bush to lie down and rest. I circle nervously checking out the surrounding area before looking the way the others have gone. I press my ears back against my head wanting to call after them but know that to do so will alert any prey animals in hearing. When Jazzy gets to her feet I lead the way after the others her shoulder pressing against my hip as we move. We reach the shade of some trees and once again Jazzy lies down.

A coughing call reaches my ears and I immediately reply before dropping my nose to Jazzy and giving her several licks. She climbs to her feet and I lead her towards where the call came from. I answer another call and halt as I hear something crashing through the undergrowth towards us. I drop my head and arch my back turning slightly sideways as I prepare to defend Jazzy and myself. My relief is immense as Wade, Micah and Sam burst from the undergrowth with Marissa close on their heels. Jazzy gives a delighted cry and comes out from behind me to greet her father. Wade turns his attention to me and rubs his head against my shoulder even as I flinch away from him before he grooms a spot on my ribs. Both Micah and Sam rub against me and I return their greetings enthusiastically before turning back to Jazzy. Marissa is licking her daughter and purring at her but she turns her attention to me with a grateful purr. Jazzy is happy to follow the others trotting between the three toms but she is visibly tired when we come out of the trees on the other side to where the rest of the clan is gathered around two large carcasses.

We move forward to eat but Micah blocks me from the first kill and urges me towards the other one. I crouch and hiss but move to the second carcass and find a place I can snatch a mouthful of meat before retreating to eat it. Jazzy appears at my side and sniffs at my muzzle. I look at the crush of bodies at the carcass then back at her and lay my ears back. A bite and a swipe of my paw makes Steven move over and Malcolm moves away at my growl. Jazzy ducks into the space I have made and begins to try to worry a piece of meat free. I watch a moment then push my nose forward. She slaps me across the face but I rip a chunk of warm meat free and drop it in front of her where she grabs it and I turn my attention to getting more for her.

Jazzy is full long before I am satisfied and I begin to tear at the carcass in earnest. A chunk of meat falls against my front leg and I look up surprised. Micah snorts softly then rips another chunk free and drops it before ripping a large chunk free to chew on. I turn my attention to the meat he has given me as I realise he must have seen what I was doing for his sister. I am still eating when he starts grooming the fur over my ribs but I don’t stop until my stomach is full and I retreat to a patch of shade to stretch out beside Jazzy.

Wade walks over and sniffs at my muzzle but I am too full and content to do more than swish my tail. He pauses to lick my shoulder before moving among the toms. I lift my head when someone comes up behind me but it is Mitchell and I put my head back down to close my eyes as he stretches out between Jazzy and me. Sometime during the day Jazzy curls up in a ball beside me and I clean her shoulder before flopping out on my side and going back to sleep.

The sound of others feeding wakes me and I lift my head to watch them before rolling onto my belly and sitting up on my haunches. I flick my ears and swish my tail as I watch the toms tearing at the kill. I get to my feet and stretch before approaching the kill and sniffing at the exposed ribs. The front shoulders are relatively untouched and I climb over the carcass to begin stripping meat from the shoulder for myself. I sniff at the torn throat curiously and smell Micah’s scent making me glance over the carcass to where he is stretched out in the shade near his mother and sister. Before I rip a large chunk of meat free and start chewing it. Steven bumps my shoulder and I move over so he can get better access to the exposed meat. He grabs hold of the hide and tugs at it pulling it away from the meat. I grab hold beside his muzzle and lend my weight to his efforts and a large area of meat is skinned. Donovan comes over and I stand back for a few minutes watching how they take turns eating from the carcass before I move into place to join in the feed.

Jazzy mewls as she walks up beside me and I drop the chunk of meat I was chewing so she can take it. I share my pieces of meat with her and when she is full I follow her back to the shade and lay down. I notice Marissa and Wade eating at the other carcass and watch the clan members as they eat in their different spots. I realise someone is missing and stand up sniffing trying to work it out as I mentally identify each cat. I look around the surrounding area when I realise it is Dwayne who’s absent. I’m hoping he is just away from the carcasses toileting. I turn to face what must be the fence line as I hear a faint sound; I give a cry of alarm as I recognise the distant sound of a motor and the sound of feed ceases behind me. Mitchell walks up beside me and rubs his head on my shoulder unconcerned but I wait, watching the surrounding tree cover until I see the jeep driving towards us. I snarl my annoyance and turn back to the kill to start feeding again.

"Power’s back on at the compound," Dwayne says as he climbs out of the jeep and drops a bag of clothes on the ground. I look away as he unzips his jeans and I tug a piece of reluctant sinew from a rib bone before tearing into the shoulder again. Someone bumps my side and I move over making room for them before tearing off a chunk and swallowing. I find myself eating between Steven and Edwin and when I manage to tear a rib free I carry it to the shade where I lay down and begin gnawing on one end of it. Micah gets to his feet lazily and walks over to sniff at my prize and me. I hiss as I cower against the ground but Micah has no interest in taking my bone as he stretches out near me leaving me to worry the meat from the rib bone.

"Micah, we’re heading home now. Mikkarl! Robby! Come on," Wade says near me. I glance at him to find he has shifted and is now dressed in jeans and a polo shirt. Marissa stands on the other side of the jeep tying her hair back, and Jazzy is beside her, shrugging into a light jacket.

"I’m not ready to go yet!" Jazzy exclaims and runs over to pat Micah on the head, "Thanks for the feed big brother." Her face lights up as she spots me laying in the shade nearby and runs at me. I lay my ears back and back away from her uneasily and she stops to look at me puzzled.

"What’s wrong with Rosy?" Jazzy asks glancing towards her parents. Micah huffs and gets to his feet and walks over to me. I press my chin into the ground as he sniffs at me then turns his attention to the bone I abandoned when Jazzy ran at me. He nudges it and looks at his father.

"You know better than to run at cats you don’t know really well. Rosy got a rib off the kill and you’re lucky she didn’t think you were trying to steal it," Wade scolds.

"But Rosy made the others move over so I could eat and she even bit pieces off for me when I was puffed out! Rosy wouldn’t mind if I wanted the bone," Jazzy says indignantly. Micah huffs loudly and I glance his way nervously but he seems to be communicating with his father as he bobs his head.

"It looks like I better take my daughter back to the house so you can enjoy your food without Jazzy eating it for you," Wade says with a smile. Jazzy walks over to me slowly and pats me on the head before pulling at my ears gently.

"You’ve got beautiful spots Rosy," she tells me before walking back to the jeep. I stand to watch Mikkarl and Robby get into the back of the jeep wearing only jeans while Wade and Marissa sit in the front seat with Jazzy in between them. Jazzy turns in the seat to wave until they are nearly out of sight and I return to chewing at the rib bone.

When I am finished with it I stretch out on my side and swish my tail lazily at an insect that buzzes around me annoyingly. I hear someone settle near me but I don’t open my eyes or try to smell who it is in the afternoon warmth. I listen to the toms calling and grunting back and forth and I realise they are communicating. I sit up to watch and find it is Micah, Steven, Edwin and Sam vocalising back and forth. I get to my feet and stretch with a big yawn and flex of my whiskers. When I look around the others are watching me with interest and I walk daintily to the other kill. Edwin rushes to meet me before I reach the carcass and I eye him warily but he purrs at me and extends his nose in a friendly gesture. I meet his gaze for a second and see the invitation before he swings his head to look at the kill then back at me. Micah growls angrily and charges Edwin while I shy away from both of them as Edwin is sent rolling in the dust. He jumps back up and faces Micah with his head lowered and a low growl in his throat. Micah rushes forward and I retreat hastily as I realise they are actually fighting for real. I do my strange little stand on my back legs for a better look before hissing and circling to watch from another angle. The two combatants separate for several seconds before they leap at each other once again. Edwin, being smaller, goes down under Micah’s greater weight and Micah takes the chance to deal out several nasty bites that has Edwin yowling.

The fight is over as suddenly as it began and Edwin retreats to a group of trees some fifty metres away. Micah stands tall, lifts his head and roars loudly. I lay my ears back and bolt from him. Fear churns in my stomach as I hear pursuit and I flatten my body and stretch out my legs going at my top speed. I jump fallen trees and small bushes in my stride even as I dodge hollows and dips. The fence looms on my left side and I race along the inside of it even as my brain warns that my pursuers can head me off by cutting across to the fence at some point ahead of me. I see my chance in a solid tree some ten metres off the fence line and I race towards it slowing slightly as I collect myself and catch the trunk of the tree a good five metres off the ground. I dig my claws in and scramble up higher than the fence before racing along a thick branch.

I feel the branch break as I extend myself in a leap outwards and I am off balance as my back legs hit the top of the fence. I somersault and hit the ground hard skidding along on my side before getting to my feet once again and fleeing. I soon slow to a hopping trot, my right front shoulder throbbing painfully as is my right thigh. I am beginning to realise I reacted out of fear and that I was in no actual danger from either tom, but past experience of watching fights around kills sent me fleeing. I hear a distant call from one of the toms and I hiss as I lower my head to the ground. The spot I have chosen to stop is shielded on all sides by long grass and unless someone was to literally walk over top of me, I was safe from detection.

Another call comes from a different tom and I lift my head and swivel my ears. I realise they are looking for me and I hear worry in both calls. I prop myself up, lifting my head to call in reply to their calls. A call answers mine and I reply, and then receive several answers to mine. I listen for their approach, calling at intervals so they can find me. Finally Mitchell bursts through the long grass and I mewl at him as he sniffs and licks me before rubbing his head on my uninjured side. He lifts his head and calls, no doubt telling the others he has found me before lying down at my uninjured side to wait. Sam is next through the long grass and he sniffs me with concern. I raise my head to sniff his nose and realise I am beginning to stiffen up. Micah rushes through the grass and stands over me to mewl his concern as he sniffs me. He looks at Sam and Sam turns to leave at a run.

The others soon turn up and sit around while I lay still. Every now and then Micah sniffs me or nudges me in concern but when I go to get up he firmly puts a big foot on my head forcing it to the ground. Mitchell continues to lie beside me offering comfort and I rest my cheek against his shoulder and close my eyes. Someone whining brings me awake and I raise my head to look around. Donovan is lying on his stomach watching me with his chin on his forelegs and he lifts his head and pricks his ears as I look at him. The sound of a vehicle surprises me into attempting to stand and I go down in a heap as my stiffened shoulder refuses to take my weight. I bite back my cry of pain and roll onto my stomach off my shoulder. A few minutes later Sam stops a four wheel drive vehicle close by and climbs out carrying several sets of clothing. He tosses a pair of jeans each to Micah and Mitchell before coming to squat beside me.

"Ok Rosy. Do you think you can shift so we can get you home easily? I got a top and a pair of your track pants here and there’s a mattress where you can stretch out in the back of the Triton," Sam says gently. I glance around at all the toms hanging around and lower my head to the ground flattening my ears against my skull. Sam follows my glance and stands with his hands on his hips.

"Ok, everyone get going back to the compound. Rosy does not want an audience while she shifts, so move! Now!" Sam orders loudly. I wait while everyone except for Micah and Mitchell, who are shifting, heads off and Sam drops my clothes within easy reach before turning his back. I roll onto my uninjured side and close my eyes and wish myself back to human form. Pain lances through my injured shoulder and thigh; there are deep throbbing aches after I have shifted. I push myself into a sitting position and reach for the shirt, pulling it on my injured arm before working it over my head and other arm and then tugging it into place. I look down at the deep gash high on my inner thigh and know that there is no way I will be able to get my pants on over that unaided.

"Sam, I’m going to need some help." I say between clenched teeth.

"Okay, turning around." I see him wince as he takes in the deep gash but he picks up my track pants and begins carefully easing it over my foot and working it up my leg.

"So what happened?" Sam asks quietly as he begins working my pants onto my other leg.

"The fight … memories, I just freaked and then being chased. I totally lost it," I say quietly.

"Think you can stand?" Sam asks.

"If I can get on my feet yeah," I say cradling one arm to my chest and trying to find a place to put my other hand.

"Your ribs hurt?" Micah asks from behind me and I tense up.

"No, no it’s mainly my shoulder. I landed on my shoulder and I think I caught my leg on the fence on the way over," I say softly.

"Ok, I’ll lift you from behind so Sam can help you finish dressing and then once you’re on your feet we’ll see about getting you into the Triton," Micah says evenly.

"Where’s Mitchell?" I ask worriedly.

"Don’t worry about him," Micah orders tersely.

"I’m right here Rosy," Mitchell reassures me.

"I’ll lift you up. I’m taller than Mitchell so it’ll be easier and quicker for Sam. Don’t worry. I’m not going to hurt you," Micah says gently as he slips his arms around my ribs. I tense up but make no protest as he easily lifts me to my feet and holds me steady as Sam quickly pulls my pants up over my hips and into place.

"You’d best not walk on that leg," Sam orders and I nod my agreement. I don’t argue as Micah lifts me in his arms careful of my shoulder and carries me to the vehicle. The backseat has been folded down and a mattress lies in the large space created with the folded seat and cargo space. He places me on the edge of the mattress and I wait patiently for him to get in the other side of the vehicle and ease me in. I gasp as my shoulder is jostled and Micah stops moving me.

"I’m sorry," Micah says before lifting me further in. The rear doors are closed and Mitchell and Sam climb into the front seat. I glance around and decide I’d rather travel lying on my uninjured side.

"I want to lie down," I inform them.

"On your back?" Micah asks.

"My good side please," I answer faintly. I am amazed by how gentle he is as he eases me onto my side and he moves so that his hip and thigh provides support to help me remain still.

"Better?" Mitchell asks with concern.

"Yeah my shoulder isn’t getting jostled nearly as much," I mutter as I close my eyes.

"I didn’t mean to scare you," Micah tells me softly. I shake my head without opening my eyes and I feel Micah brush some hair back off my face. I open my eyes and look at him from the corner of my eye.

"You’ve got some speed when you want to," Micah says quietly. "So what scared you? The fight or my roar?"

"The fight, but the roar just type of topped it off," I say and turn my face into the mattress.

"You did really well with Jazzy today. Especially when she got left behind and we didn’t notice it before we made the kills," Micah tells me and I can feel him playing with my hair. "And then helping her feed at the kill - she’s so little she often has trouble."

"How’s Rosy going back there?" Sam asks and I can hear the concern in his voice.

"I think her leg has stopped bleeding and she doesn’t seem disorientated or dizzy," Micah tells him.

"I didn’t hit my head. I skidded on my shoulder and maybe bumped my cheek but that’s all," I say.

"You hit the ground hard when you jumped. I was glad when you got back up," Mitchell says.

"Great. I hope I didn’t give you a heart attack," I mutter.

"I think I only got in sight because you had trouble going up the tree," Mitchell tells me and I turn my head to glance up at him.

"I was going too fast to go from running to climbing," I say. Mitchell frowns and I close my eyes and turn my face away.

"You’ve taken the top layer of skin off your cheek but it healed when you shifted," Mitchell says with a sigh.

"How much longer before we get back?" I ask.

"We’re only about a third of the way there. I’m trying not to hit the rough spots I know you must be uncomfortable." Sam’s remark would have to be the understatement of the year but I don’t let on just how much pain I am in.

"The others will have everything ready for when we get back; Doc should be almost there and once your leg is stitched up and your shoulder bandaged, you should feel a lot better," Micah tells me.

"Great, stitches my favourite pastime. Right up there with crash landing out of trees," I mutter.

"Edwin will probably need a few stitches as well. I hooked my claws into him a good one," Micah says sounding pleased with himself.

"What all because he wanted me to eat at his kill," I ask opening my eyes.

"He wanted a lot more than that," Sam mutters in the front and I close my eyes, my face burning as I realise what is meant.

I remain silent as Sam drives trying to avoid the ruts and potholes. My shoulder hurts at each little jolt and my hip on that side is starting to ache as well. I wince as I move my leg trying to ease the ache and I feel Micah move beside me.

"Want some Panadol or do you want to wait for the good stuff from Doc?" Micah asks.

"Is the stuff from my place still around?" I ask opening my eyes and glancing his way. He looks me in the eyes checking from one to the other and I realise he is still watching me for a head injury.

"It’s still there. Nothing has been thrown out," Mitchell answers my question.

"I’ll wait ‘til I get back and use my own stuff," I mutter. I close my eyes and try to block out the pain as each bump is echoed in my shoulder and hip. When the vehicle comes to a halt and the motor is turned off I nearly cry in relief. The back doors are opened and I glance back over my shoulder as I feel Micah move.

"How bad is it?" Steven asks from the open door.

"Nothing a few stitches, rest and shifting can’t cure," Micah announces as he eases me onto my back. "Okay, going to sit you up on the count of three. One, two, three."

My entire right side screams its protest making me gasp and want to lay flat once more, but I grit my teeth and wait for the next onslaught of pain when Micah eases me around so my legs can slip out the door. When I stand upright I keep my weight off my leg and hang onto the vehicle door with one hand as I take several deep breaths.

"Do you want to try to walk inside?" Micah asks warily as if expecting it.

"I’m blonde not stupid. Give me a hand," I growl back at him, my temper made short by the pain. This time it is Sam who lifts me into his arms and I lay my head against his shoulder as he carries me inside. He takes me straight to his and Mitchell's room and places me on Mitchell's bed, which has a sheet of plastic covering it.

"Doc can’t get here until morning. He’s in the city and we couldn’t get him on a flight tonight," Steven says quietly.

"In my stuff there’s a small black brief case with an eagle engraved in the leather front. Bring it here," I say firmly.

"It’s a first aid kit?" Sam guesses.

"Yeah, one I put together for my own personal use," I tell him. "I’ll need hot water, peroxide, if you have it, and clean towels."

"Both Micah and I are pretty handy with a needle," Sam tells me as Mitchell leaves the room.

"Good ‘cause I don’t think I’ll be able to manage much one handed. And Sam, can you get me some underwear or shorts or preferably both?" I ask quietly.

The next few minutes are spent double checking my supply of sterile needles and thread as well as having Sam and Mitchell help me change my track pants for underwear. Sam is cleaning the wound while I grit my teeth when Micah returns to the room; he has a bottle of water and a bottle of bourbon.

"Anaesthetic," he explains as he holds the bourbon bottle up. I reach into the briefcase and lift up an ampule with fluid in it as well as a syringe in a plastic wrapping.

"The stuff that doesn’t leave an aching head in the morning," I counter.

"My way’s more fun," Micah counters. I glance at the brief case and smile tightly before glancing down at my thigh.

Sam has it nearly clean with just a liberal dowsing of peroxide to go. The peroxide burns making me hiss and clutch the plastic sheet as it’s applied. I am breathing heavily once the wound is clean and watch silently as Micah draws up the local anaesthetic in the needle.

"Give it here," I demand once it is ready for use.

"It’ll be easier for me to do it," Micah denies and I hiss angrily as I reach into the brief case and remove a long metal object that looks like a pair of hoof cutters or pliers.

"I don’t like being touched! These are calf castrators; guess what use I will put them to," I hiss savagely. "You let me do the anaesthetic so that I don’t have to feel being touched and I will hand these over without a fight."

I see the skin around Micah’s nostrils whiten at my threat but he puts the syringe down within my reach and steps back near the door. I eye him a moment before putting the metal tool down and picking up the syringe. I pull the plastic cap off the needle with my teeth and begin injecting the liquid at intervals down the gash. When I’m finished, I recap the syringe and drop it in the used sharps container and lean back on the pillows behind my shoulders. I open my eyes as I hear Micah move forward and I watch as he picks up the metal tool gingerly. He passes it to Sam who leaves the room with it before he glances at my thigh.

"How long before that works," he asks. "And you didn’t have to make that threat - all you had to do was explain."

"Only a couple more minutes and … sorry," I say barely muttering the last word.

"How do you want this stitched up," Micah asks studying the wound.

"That thing Sam had, was what she threatened you with," Steven asks as he comes into the room cautiously.

"Yeah," Micah says tightly.

"One long continuous stitch with the fine white stuff in the muscle and lots of small close stitches closing the skin," I say before touching near the wound with my fingertips. I can still feel it slightly and shake my head.

"You got any other nasties in that thing?" Steven asks eyeing the briefcase nervously.

"Shut it and move it out of reach," Micah is quick to suggest.

"Where are Sam and Mitchell?" I ask as Micah looks closely at the threaded suture needles and the forceps. I tense as he looks at my leg. He reaches out to touch me and I jerk my leg away with a gasp.

"Steven, go see if Sam or Mitchell will come back in," Micah says quietly. I watch nervously as Steven leaves the room and I swallow hard as I glance back at Micah. Suddenly letting the emasculators leave the room seems like a bad idea. Steven returns pretty quickly and shakes his head silently.

"Rosy, you need stitches in that wound - you know that. I’m going to put them in for you but you need to try to trust that I will not mean to hurt you nor will I try to touch you anywhere but the wound, ok?" Micah asks me seriously. I bite my bottom lip hard and nod my head only to immediately shake it.

"Rosy would it help if I sit on the edge of the bed so you can’t see Micah? Would it help if I talked to you so you can try to not think about him touching you?" Steven asks quietly. I nod as I chew the inside of my cheek and glance between the two toms nervously as Steven moves to sit on the bed beside my hips.

"So what do you think of having two big brothers to boss you around? Steven asks.

"Try to keep real still now Rosy," Micah warns. Steven resumes talking to me but I can’t concentrate on his words. I can occasionally feel a slight tugging but there is no actual pain or sensation of touch even though I know in my head that Micah is touching me very close to my no-go zone. Unable to bear it any longer, I clutch at the plastic beneath me and move my leg involuntarily.

"Stop! Stop!" I protest. Micah immediately lifts both hands into clear view and takes a step back.

"You’re doing real good Rosy. I got the tear in the muscle sewn and several stitches in to make sure the skin closes evenly," he explains softly. "We’ll give it a rest for a moment or two?"

I nod eagerly. Just to know he isn’t touching me for a few moments is a huge relief. I take several deep shaky breaths before steeling myself and nodding.

"Again," I say and look away so I don’t see him move closer. I feel the strange tugging sensations now and then and I grit my teeth as I refuse to look his way. I can hear Steven talking to me but I can make no sense of his words. I let go of the plastic sheeting, my hand clenching and unclenching as I fight the urge to lash out at the one I know is touching me, even if I can’t feel it.

I freeze as Steven twines his fingers through mine. I look his way wildly and some part of my mind tells me I am on the verge of panic. My breath is coming in quick little pants and my jaw is aching from grinding my teeth.

"Just a few more, nearly there," Steven tells me and forces a smile. "Do you always jump over the fences? Haven’t you heard of gates?" He continues on but I loose track of what he is saying even though I don’t look away from his eyes.

"Okay, all done," Micah says with relief. Steven gently pries his fingers from my grasp and I blink as I collapse back on the pillow behind me, shaking with reaction. Steven moves and I get my first look at the row of neat small stitches in my thigh.

"You got any antibiotics in there," Micah asks with a nod towards the briefcase.

"Uh, ummm yeah. A red case with ampoules marked with a red pen; one morning and night for five days. The painkiller is in the black case and each ampoule holds half a dose," I explain.

"You up to doing it one handed," Micah asks.

"If you’ll draw it up for me," I say.

"Painkiller as well before I check that shoulder? And can they go in the one needle," he asks as he opens a plastic sleeve containing a syringe.

"Yeah, might as well get it over and done with now," I say quietly

"One or two of the pain killer," Micah wants to know as he adds a needle to the syringe.

"One. Two will knock me out but one cuts all pain back to little more than a minor ache," I supply the information and frown as he loads up a second half-dose of painkiller. "Bastard," I hiss at him.

"Well you’re not going to like me taking off your shirt when I check your shoulder and I intend on being able to give you children one day," Micah tells me with a level look. "Anyway you’ll feel a lot better after a nice sleep and your brothers will feel more comfortable knowing you’re not about to try to do anything to anyone while they sleep."

I glare at Micah and he glances towards Steven. I realise I have two options, one, allow him to give me the injection and sleep once what would be a painful examination is over; or two, fight them and surely end up suffering more pain for my efforts.

"If I let you give me that needle then Sam and Mitchell are to come in so I know you will keep your hands to yourself," I hiss.

"First off, if my hands wander I want you alert and fully awake to enjoy it. Secondly, you don’t give the orders around here. But if you want your brothers in here so you feel more comfortable, then that’s fine by me. So be a good girl and let me give you this needle so I can go and make them come in before you go to sleep," Micah tells me firmly.

"In the fleshy part at the top of my hip at the back, but I think I’ll need help rolling onto my side," I say after nearly a minute of silence as I ponder my options.

Micah hands the syringe to Steven then steps up to the side of the bed, he glances down at me for a moment before giving a brief nod. "Do you want me to just roll you onto your side or help you move?"

"You do it. I think it’s going to hurt if I try to move. I’m getting more aches and pains by the moment," I admit reluctantly.

Micah rolls me gently onto my side without warning, not giving me time to tense up but I still end up hissing with pain as I grit my teeth. I feel him pull the waist of my trackies down off the top of my hip and he touches my flesh gently.

"Here?"

"A bit lower where there’s more muscle to jab the needle in. And it’s just like doing local anaesthetic only it all goes in the one spot."

Steven laughs softly and I wish he were where I could see him. I suddenly realise what lines he is thinking on and close my eyes tightly with embarrassment. Micah is good with the injection and I have to admit that it would have been more uncomfortable if I had done it myself. He rubs the spot gently and I remain still as he pulls my track pants back into place.

"How long before that starts to work?" Micah asks.

"Only a few minutes for the pain relief to start to kick in and up to an hour before I’ll go to sleep," I say.

"I’ll start with your shirt now and stop if that shoulder gets too painful," Micah suggests. When I don’t protest, he carefully lifts me into a sitting position. I flinch when his fingers brush my ribs as he lifts my shirt but I grit my teeth biting back the demand to stop.

"Tight clingy clothes are sexier than bare skin or short shorts and bikini tops are always good on a female body," Steven informs me and I turn my head to look his way. "Nudity is an every day thing around here with changing and everything so it loses its appeal pretty quickly."

Micah eases my shirt over my head then down my sore arm. I am grateful when he hands me the shirt to hold against myself covering my breasts.

"You both outweigh me by at least forty pounds, are a lot bigger than me, not to mention stronger and uninjured. Now you tell me how you think I feel," I say bitterly before I can help it.

"Scared as hell and totally helpless," Steven answers gently. I send him a startled look and glance at Micah who nods his agreement. I take a deep breath and tears well up in my eyes with relief.

"Ok, let me look at your ribs," Micah says gently and moves the edge of my shirt. His hand is gentle as he runs it over my ribs checking for any signs of injury.

"A bruise here and there but nothing major," his hand slowly moves down over my side to my hip as he checks for tenderness. I wince as he probes the joint and I glance at his face. He is watching me but goes back to his examination as he works his way down my leg to my knee.

"So it’s mainly on the inside of your leg you don’t like getting touched," he murmurs softly.

"I know you’re not trying to hurt me and I can make my mind listen, most of the time," I answer quietly.

"You like foot rubs," Steven asks.

"Yeah," I say as a soft laugh escapes me.

"Back rubs?" Micah interjects.

"Haven’t had one," I admit and frown with annoyance as I realise the painkiller is taking away some of my control along with my pain.

"Well I’ll fix that tomorrow," Micah says as he moves up to brush my hair back off my face. I stay still as he checks my cheek and slowly works his way across the top of my shoulder. I wince every time his fingers find a sore spot and then he is taking a firm hold of my arm near my elbow.

"I’m going to have to move your arm to check how bad your shoulder is," Micah warns and I take several deep breaths.

"Go ahead." It hurts like hell as he lifts my arm and rotates my shoulder. I gasp and groan and turn my face into the pillow before he’s finished.

"Nothing seems to be broken or dislocated and the joint moves freely but that’s all I can tell," Micah admits.

"No grinding or clicking I noticed so probably dislocated and back in almost immediately," I say between gritted teeth.

"Bandage it," Micah asks.

"No just a pillow so I can rest my arm on and a glassful of that bourbon," I say.

"Should you drink after that painkiller," Micah asks.

"One glass won’t hurt, only put me out faster," I mutter.

"Ok, one glass. Steven go see if one of them are game enough to come in yet. Tell them she’s nearly out to it," Micah orders. I turn my head to look at him but don’t tell him I’m still wide-awake; he winks at me before turning to pour my drink. I am sipping the drink when Sam comes in cautiously to eye me nervously before looking at Micah.

"She’s behaved really well," Micah tells him.

"She threatened to castrate you," Sam points out and I close my eyes.

"That’s between me and her. I give my word she’s no threat at the moment and she needs her brothers with her," Micah tells him.

"Mitchell’s gone for a run," Sam says as he comes closer to the bed.