I trot along the trail at a leisurely pace, the mid day shadows fall on the grass beneath the trees and I pause to stretch out in the shade for half an hour just to enjoy the view. I turn my head to lick at an itch on my side and spend ten minutes grooming my shinning hide. Sometimes loneliness bothers me and I remember the werecats I had come into contact with nearly six months previously. Thanks to counselling I had finally sort for my rapes and the passage of time I now realise that at the time I came into contact with them I had been suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I still have my demons but now I have strategies to deal with them, that and time for my body to recover after my miscarriage often had me wondering if things could have been different for me and if I would have been able to adapt to living in a clan.

Occasionally I would trespass onto Williamson land and go visit my uncle but I never stayed long for fear Pete would smell me or see me and I would have to face either him or some of Wade’s warriors. I had made more of my scent covering gel and lotion and used it religiously but I was still too wary to chance an encounter with another werecat.

My home was now an old hunting shack long forgotten by humans deep in the forest of a national park. My backyard was several hundreds of acres complete with trees for climbing and a lake for swimming in. Rugged hillside country keeps me in excellent shape and there are plenty of feral goats for hunting if I chose to eat freshly killed meat. The only thing I lack is companionship. The call of a bird from a tree nearby stirs me from my reflections and I stretch lazily before heading for the small pond where I usually swim after running on all four paws. Further down the stream I know I can catch fish either in a net or by hand for my supper and I think about what I will have to eat later.

I walk the four hundred yards from the pond to my shack naked carrying my discarded clothes in my hand as I climb the steep path nimbly. I pause just off the back porch I have added and look out over the valley below my home, it is peaceful and quiet but at times it seems too much so. Inside the shack is cool despite the heat of the day and I pull clean clothes from an old dresser to put on. I glance at my new mobile phone and stare at it pensively for a few minutes before turning away with a frown. Lunch is a packet of trail mix and two packets of spicy jerky that I wash down with plenty of water before returning to the small cleared area around the back of the shack with my mobile in hand.

I place a call to Doc Caruthers just to hear a friendly voice but it’s the middle of the day and he is busy working unable to talk for more than a few moments. I stand looking out into the wilderness, my stomach full of butterflies and my heart pounding painfully before I punch in the number and lift the phone to my ear. I swallow nervously as I hear the phone ringing and I am just about to hang up when I hear the click that is the precursor to someone talking.

"Yeah hallo," I remain silent unable to speak for the lump in my throat as my eyes fill with tears.

"Hallo? Any one there?"

"Hey Pete," My voice is kind of choked and comes out very faint.

"Hallo?" There is a note of disbelief in his voice and I hear something brush the phone as if he has covered it with something, "Can you lot shut up? I got a bad connection here!"

"Hey Pete," My voice comes out normal and I hug myself when I hear his sharp exhale of surprise.

"Tawny! Rosy! Are you all right? Where are you? Do you need something?" Pete says with a rush.

"I’m fine. I’m fine I got all I need. I just wanted to hear a friendly voice," I say and my voice trails off.

"You got a friendly voice here," I hear his relieved laughter, "fact is there are several more friendly voices if you want to hear them. Sam, Edwin, Steven and Malcolm are with me, I’m at Wade’s at the moment."

"Oh," I say my disappointment apparent even to me.

"How are you … Rosy? Are you really all right?" Pete asks his voice dropping as he asks seriously. I can hear the concern in his voice and I remember the last few days I had spent at the Williamson compound, I had been constantly upset and nearly irrational most of the time.

"Actually Pete I think I’m on the other side of it, I’ll make it through." I tell him softly. I hear the others talking to Pete in the background and smile to myself at the sound of their voices but I’m not ready to talk to them yet, not today.

"They all say hi, do you want to talk to them? I can put you on speaker phone," Pete tells me.

"No, I just needed … I’m ok alright. Don’t worry about me," I say and hang up. I’m trembling as I gasp for breath and lean against the support pole for the awning but it is from relief not fear and I close my eyes as I concentrate on my breathing to calm myself. Once I am calm I unplug the cord from my phone and glance at the little machine that sits on a cut off tree trunk, I know there is no way I can be traced using my phone calls.

Supper is fish caught in a fish trap I devised, roasted in a pit of hot coals along with a pot of vegetable stew and some buns left over from my last trip to town. When it gets dark I strip off and change to go roaming the dark hills by myself, I travel through familiar territory for over two hours before returning to my shack and changing back to human form. I am restless when I pick up my phone and go to sit under the fragrant tree near the tree stump, I sit looking down at the phone in my hands for a long time before plugging in the cord and pressing the button to call the last number dialled.

"Yeah hallo. Hey Malcolm! I had that end slice of roast first! Give it back!" Pete yells angrily and I hold the phone away from my ear.

"There’s plenty of other roast there!" Malcolm says and I realise by the tinny sound of his voice that the phone is on loudspeaker.

"Fuck you Malcolm!" Pete says angrily.

"I’d rather you didn’t you’re not my type," Malcolm says sounding pleased with himself. I guess he got to keep the piece of food in question.

"Hallo? Anyone there?" Pete says into the phone sounding annoyed as he takes the phone off loudspeaker.

"I really need to teach you how to guard your food don’t I?" I ask as I lean back against the tree trunk.

"Hey that you Stray?" Malcolm asks. I can hear him clearly even when not on speakerphone - werecat hearing is that good.

"Is that Rosy?" Mitchell asks in the background, his voice strained.

"Yeah it’s me Mitchell," I say with a smile that only falters slightly as I hear the change in sound that tells me the phone has been put on speakerphone.

"You okay Rosy? Are you getting enough to eat? Are you looking after yourself?" Mitchell asks with a rush.

"Yes, yes and yes." I answer.

"Everyone’s here Rosy, want to say hi?" Pete asks.

"Hallo everyone," I say obediently.

"Hi there Rosy! You still got your spots?" Donovan calls.

"Yeah, can’t lick the ruddy things off." I say with a laugh and smile as I hear the others laughing.

"You want to come visit?" Donovan asks, "You can leave when you like." "Donny! Rosy probably wouldn’t feel comfortable here. Remember how hard it was for her," Micah scolds his young brother softly.

"I don’t know Donovan. Things are getting better for me but I don’t want to push myself too hard," I tell him as I close my eyes, "I just do what I know I can manage."

"I still owe you a couple of kills remember!" Edwin calls.

"I’m more than capable of catching my own food when I want to!" I call back and laugh softly, it feels good to be able to laugh and joke with someone.

"You want one of our numbers so you can call us when Pete’s not here?" Edwin asks. I can almost hear everyone holding their breaths as I hesitate to answer.

"I haven’t got anything to write it down on and I’d have to go inside for pen and paper," I say after a moment.

"You got yourself a place?" Sam asks.

"Yeah," I say as I get to my feet easily. "Somewhere dry to sleep and leave a few clothes,"

"You working?" Pete asks.

"On the odd occasion I visit Doc Caruthers

– oops – I’m not supposed to go on Williamson land am I?" I ask as I laugh nervously.

"We’re not about to go hunting you and Wade is hoping you’ll find somewhere we can look out for you," Micah tells me gently. I sigh as I lean back on the door jam, phone in one hand and pen and paper in the other.

"I’m content where I am at the moment. I don’t know if you clan cats would understand. I do what I want when I want and I’m getting plenty of time on four feet," I say tightly.

"I’m glad for you Rosy," Micah says softly, "It sounds like you’re doing what your inner cat needs,"

"Yeah well … you got some numbers ready?" I ask suddenly uneasy with the way the conversation is heading.

"Whose do you want?" Micah asks.

"Mitchell’s, Sam’s and Edwin’s," I say as I smooth the piece of paper out. I choose them because of the closeness I feel to Mitchell and Sam and the way Edwin seems to understand me. I write the numbers down as Micah gives them to me and then I tuck the paper in my jeans pocket.

"I don’t know if I’ll use them," I admit quietly.

"You’ve got them if you want to use them," Edwin answers softly.

"I gotta go …" I say tightly.

"Rosy!" Mitchell calls and I know he’s trying to make this contact last as long as he can.

"I wish you were here so we could go hunting together Mitchell," I say softly and hang up. I throw my phone at the tree and curse as it shatters into pieces. I hurriedly pull off my clothes and take a deep breath and exhale slowly, I feel the first pains of my shift and give myself over without fighting it. Under half a minute later I yawn and stretch before setting off at a full run testing the air even as I go looking for something to eat to fuel my two quick shifts.

Morning finds me stretched out on my bed naked and exhausted but with a belly full of freshly killed birds. I don’t bother about getting up and going for my usual early morning swim, I have no need to follow a routine because only I am here. The longing for company wakes me mid afternoon and I sit up irritably, I hesitate a moment then sniff myself carefully to test for any unusual underlying smell to my faint body odour, finding none I get to my feet and grab a towel before heading for the pond.

A good scrubbing removes all smell and I fold my towel and place it on a rock in the sun so I can sit on it enjoying the warmth of the sun on my bare skin. I glance down at my body noting I have regained my normal weight, I run my hands down over my breasts noticing they now have darker nipples. Curiously I reach between my thighs and explore my body with my fingertips, I brush them over my inner folds and gasp startled as pleasure radiates from where I have touched. I trace the opening to my passage and find with surprise that there is slick moisture there, I touch it with my fingers and lift them to my nose but all I smell is a honey-like arousal no hints of a scent similar to cinnamon. I shift into cat form and head out to hunt, I head for where I know there are plenty of rabbits and soon make a good meal out of several of them before heading back to the pond to shift and swim once again.

Two days later I find myself in one of the small towns within easy distance of my home buying a new mobile phone, I have kept the sim card from my destroyed phone and immediately feel much better once the new phone is in working order. I save the numbers from the scrap of paper onto my phone but don’t ring them, just having them and knowing I can ring them if I want to is enough.

"Well Hallo," I spin around at the deep masculine voice and eye the big burly stranger eyeing me, I strain to catch his scent but the wind is blowing away from me.

"I knew another cat had taken up residence around these parts but I didn’t expect it to be someone like you." He grins. "My name’s Baxter Barnes,"

I watch him warily but he seems to be happy to keep his distance and I am not interested in letting him get close, he is too big and strong by far.

"What no name? That’s okay - I’m fine with that. Well I’ll just mosey on and let you go about your business. I work up at the Feed Shed where the farmers get their seed so if you ever need anything just pop by and someone’ll be able to tell you where I am," Baxter says in a friendly voice.

I watch as he walks off towards the business he named, my curiosity is stirred but I am not about to hang around and leave myself in a vulnerable position. I buy fresh food that I hastily shove into my backpack before heading out of town on one of the less frequented roads, it’s not the best road for heading home on but I can cut across country to head in the right direction.

The early predawn light sees me safely at home thanks to an old farmer who offered me a ride practically to the foot of the hills I live in, he let me out not far from several small cabins where some retirees live and drove off none the wiser that I wasn’t visiting one of them like he had assumed. Rainy weather sets in for the week and I only leave my shack for hunting and my daily swim, well rested and well fed I laze about until sunny weather resumes. Reassured I am not about to come into heat I pack enough clothes for a week and shut the shack up securely behind me before heading down towards the foothills. It’s time for visiting.

I really should have rung to make sure Pete’d be home, I think as I shuffle my feet. It’s well after dark as I stand in the shadows of Pete’s veranda waiting for him to return to his house from where ever he went, I can only hope he isn’t away overnight or for several days. I finally give in and lower myself to sit down while I wait, the night is crisp and clear and I can smell familiar scents as the breeze wafts across the fields. I turn my head and watch as headlights slow on the highway and turn to enter the driveway, I get to my feet and unconsciously back into the deeper shadows as I watch the vehicle approach. I narrow my eyes and turn my head slightly so the headlights don’t dazzle me as the car stops then I hear the car door open and the crunch of gravel as Pete gets out.

"You’d better have one hell of a good reason for trespassing on Williamson Clan Territory!" Pete snarls as he steps in front of the headlights. I can see he is carrying a big heavy metal bar and I realise he can’t identify me where I stand.

"I must admit I was hoping for a friendlier greeting," I say as I step out where he can see me and remove the cap that holds my hair up out of sight.

"Tawny? Rosy? Whatever the hell you want to be called, is that you? Who’s with you?" Pete demands as he glances around uneasily.

"Yeah it’s me and whatever name you’re comfortable with will do. No one’s with me I’m by myself," I say watching his silhouette closely not sure of my welcome. Pete disappears behind the headlights and then the car and lights are turned off, I can hear the engine ticking as it begins to cool in the night air.

"You don’t smell like you," Pete comments as he walks towards me warily.

"I been hiding my scent but I’m letting it come back at the moment, it takes two or three days and the layers build as it returns. And my hormones are back to normal," the last I say with a quick glance away from him, the memory of the babies I lost is still painful.

"Yeah, Sam said it smelt like you were going crazy at the end. Every time anyone tried to interact with you your smell went off the deep end," Pete tells me quietly.

"Yeah well it wasn’t any fun from my end either, I’m just glad they let me go when I ran. I was ready to kill myself if they caught me," I admit.

"Shit! Tawny …" Pete stops and I realise he doesn’t know what he can safely say.

"No this isn’t a goodbye visit Pete, it’s an I want to live visit." I tell him quietly and hear his sigh of relief. "I’ve gotten some counselling for what I went through as a kid and with the different strays, and I’ve spent a heck of a lot of time as a cat just enjoying being a cat."

"One hell of a host I am! Do you want to come in? You hungry? Of course your hungry, I’ll cook us up a feed." Pete says as he moves to his front door.

"How about you shower and I cook? You smell like the widow Lindy Jones," I say with a grin smelling the fresh sex on him.

"Sorry about that," Pete says and I laugh.

"It doesn’t bother me, there’s a difference between what I can smell on you and … go have that shower smelly boy," I say with a grin as I follow him into his house and drop my backpack by the door.

"Everything is still in the same places," Pete tells me as he heads for his bathroom. I work quickly in the kitchen to start vegetables cooking and steaks marinading before putting more meat out to defrost in the bottom of the fridge. I keep an ear on what Pete is doing while I work but the sound of running water drowns out any sounds.

"How’s it going?" Pete asks as he walks into the kitchen wearing only a pair of jeans with his hair still damp from the shower.

"Vegies are moments from being cooked and the steaks are ready to cook anytime." I say as I lean back against the counter and eye him from head to foot openly. "So who did you talk to? Wade or one of the warriors?"

Pete sends me a startled look and blushes slightly but holds my gaze, "Wade and Doc, they’re both glad to hear you’ve ventured here and Doc is pleased about the counselling and the fact your feeling much better. Wade’ll let the warriors know you’ve made contact and that you’re doing better,"

"Let’s get this meat cooked so we can eat hey?" I say turning to the stove.

"Sure, so how long you thinking of visiting?" Pete asks.

"Probably only a few hours, over night at the most. " I say with a shrug. "So don’t get any ideas about inviting them here." I warn with a glance over my shoulder at him.

"Wade’s already given the order that I can’t tell them you’re here," Pete says evenly but I get the idea it doesn’t sit well with him.

"Hmmm, cooked meat for a change," I say to change the subject.

"You have been hunting a lot?" Pete asks.

"Yeah! Once I stopped fighting changing to my cat form I found out what fun I can have," I say with a smile as I glance his way.

"You don’t say," Pete grins and I laugh happily. The steaks sizzle as I put them in the hot grill and I lick my lips as the aroma starts to rise.

"How about I take over cooking the meat before you drool all over it?" Pete asks.

"Fine by me," I say and move away to look out the back door at the paved area. We are both silent as we sit down to eat, I enjoy the tender steak savouring each mouthful between scoops of creamy mashed potato. We head out to the back area to enjoy our coffee after the meal and I sigh in pleasure after a deep swallow of the fragrant brew.

"I miss my brewed coffee," I say.

"Don’t you have a coffee machine?" Pete asks.

"Try no electricity," I laugh and take a deep breath, "There’s something I been meaning to ask you," I say and glance his way nervously.

"I’m listening," Pete says with a slight nod.

"Can I have a hug? I’ve always wanted a hug from you," I tell him levelly.

Pete puts his coffee mug aside and takes the few steps to reach me. He takes my cup and puts it on the bench seat before wrapping his arms around me gently and cuddling me close. I am engulfed by his scent and close my eyes as I feel all the tension drain from my body.

"How’s that?" Pete asks softly as he rubs his chin against the side of my head.

"Hmm," I sigh softly.

"That good?" Pete laughs and I feel the vibrations pass through his body. After a few minutes I move away almost reluctantly and pick up my cup, I sniff and start laughing.

"What?" Pete asks with a grin.

"Can I have a shower? I smell like you." I say with a laugh.

"Sure, help yourself to whatever you need." Pete says with a grin as he reaches for my cup. Pete is sitting back on his lounge when I get out of the shower and he glances towards me with a grin when he sees me in one of his t-shirts from his clean clothes hamper.

"You got a spare bed around here I can use for a few hours?" I ask.

"There’s the spare room, the other lounge is a pull out bed or you can use half of my bed if you want the company as long as you don’t try to take advantage of me," Pete tells me with a grin.

"Keep all the covers between us and I’ll be fine," I grin back.

"Sounds like a plan," Pete says. "So you want to kill some more time or sleep?"

"Sleep would be good," I admit.

"You promise not to shift?" Pete asks and I realise he is nervous about being in such close proximity with me while he is asleep and defenceless.

"I’ve learned how to control my shifting," I tell him quietly. "But we have the covers and a layer of pillows between us."

"I’m fine with that," Pete agrees and heads towards his room. I go to the far side of his bed and pull the top blanket off, sit down and wrap myself in it before lying down with my back to the centre of the bed.

"I get the top of the covers so I can get out of the room quick if I need to," I tell him. I can feel the tension in the room as Pete gets ready for bed, he turns the light out and after a few moments hesitation I feel the bed move as he climbs beneath the covers.

"Good night," Pete says softly.

"Hmm, ‘night," I murmur already half asleep. I wake during the night crying and Pete talking to me quietly, I can’t remember the nightmare but it’s not that unusual for me. I sniff loudly and free one arm to brush at the tears on my face.

"You ok Tawny?" Pete asks his voice tight with concern.

"I’ll survive… hell I have survived," I mutter and bury my face in the pillow beneath me and cry. I am vaguely aware of Pete talking to me and patting my shoulder awkwardly until my crying jag subsides, I sniff loudly and take several deep breaths.

"Tawny?" Pete asks softly, "Do you need a drink or anything?" he asks.

"No, I just needed to be able to cry. I got the right to cry," I say almost defensively.

"Yeah," Pete mutters obviously not sure how to deal with me.

"Let’s go to sleep, I should sleep till morning," I mutter and snuggle against the pillow.

The next time I wake it’s to the smell of cooking sausages and I climb out of the bed groggily, I glance at the bedside clock and am surprised to see it is past midday.

"Pete?" I call as I wonder out of the bedroom.

"Hey Tawny, you were asleep when I got back so I didn’t wake you," Pete says with a grin.

"You went somewhere?" I ask in confusion.

"Yeah, it’s Saturday and I got until Wednesday off from work," Pete says as he puts cooked sausages on a plate.

"So what are you doing in your spare time?" I ask as I grab a hot sausage and take a bite of it.

"I was going to go do some hunting at the compound but I’ll stay here as long as you want to stay," Pete tells me earnestly. I stare at the sausage I’m holding and try to find the words I want to say.

"Do you think Wade would let me come and hunt too if he was asked?" I ask nervously.

"Of course he would!" Pete tells me with a grin, "We can eat, get ready and leave in about an hour!"

"I can’t just go, if there is one thing I know for sure is strays don’t run around trespassing. It’ll get us killed faster than a bullet," I say with a rush. Pete frowns at me for a minute before pulling his mobile from his pocket. I watch nervously as he presses a button and holds the phone to his ear, I can hear the phone ringing on the other end and swallow nervously.

"Hallo," I recognise Wade’s voice and glance around in near panic.

"Yes hallo Wade, Pete Willoughby here. Rosy wants me to ask if she is allowed to come to the compound for a visit." Pete asks.

"Is she still there with you?" Wade asks sounding surprised.

"Yes," Pete answers as he nods.

"Pass her the phone would you,"

I take a step backwards and swallow nervously as Pete holds the phone out to me, I hesitate a moment before taking the phone and holding it to my ear.

"Mr Williamson," I say barely above a whisper and lick my lips nervously.

"Hallo Rosy, it’s good to hear from you. And please call me Wade. You are most certainly welcome to come and visit here, and thank you for asking it is most courteous of you. May I speak to Pete again?"

"Yes Mr … Wade. And thank you," I say and pass the phone back to Pete.

"Yes Boss?" Pete says as he holds the phone to his ear.

"When do you expect to get here?" Wade asks.

"About an hour after dark," Pete answers as he takes eggs from the fridge.

"Everyone should be back from hunting by then. I think I’ll leave it as a bit of a surprise," Wade announces and Pete looks at me with a grin, "I’ll see yous when you get here and make sure you stop by the house first. I’ll come out to the car," I watch nervously as Pete ends the call and reaches for a sausage.

"Ok, we’d better eat up and get going." Pete says with a wide grin. I force myself to eat knowing it will be a long time until I next eat and that I will be couped up in a car for several hours probably with no food. I groan as I realise I smell like Pete and grimace to myself as I pull at the neck of the t-shirt I’m wearing.

"Want to have a shower before we go?" Pete asks.

"Yeah, if I got to smell I’d prefer to smell like myself." I say with a grimace.

"Anything to get out of washing up!" Pete laughs, "Grab your backpack you might prefer to wear your own clothes," he tells me when I am about to head for the bathroom.

All too soon and yet not soon enough we are in the car and on the road. I am relieved that Pete has a large bag of snacks and an esky of cold drinks he sits on the back seat within easy reach. It is after dark when Pete slows the car and turned into a long driveway that I recognised from the trees reaching over the road forming an avenue and I move uncomfortably in the seat.

"All but there," Pete says from behind the wheel and glances at me with a smile, "How you holding up?"

"Aside from butterflies the size of wedge-tailed eagles? Okay as long as I don’t think about where I’m going," I mutter.

"Do you want me to stop and turn around?" Pete asks slowing the car.

"If you do I don’t think I’ll have the courage to face them after that," I say and swallow uneasily.

"Ok," Pete says sounding unconvinced.

I can see the lights in the buildings now and a growing sense of excitement starts to compete for room with the butterflies. Pete steers the car towards the main house and parks not far from the back door, we only have to wait a few seconds and then the large form of Wade is crossing towards the car.

"Hallo Pete, Hallo Rosy glad you made it. I hope you don’t mind if I insist you stay at the quarters with the warriors but I need to ensure the safety of my youngest children," Wade tells me and I can hear the apology in his voice.

"Actually I can understand why you feel that way Wade and I don’t mind at all. I’m sure I’ll feel much more comfortable over there then under the same roof as an Alpha, no disrespect intended Sir." I say levelly managing to control my fear of him.

"None taken Rosy. I’ll let you go over and say hallo, they don’t know for sure that you’d make it here. We expected you might try to sneak a little time for Rosy," Wade says with a smile.

I am tense as Pete drives over to the quarters and I have to take several deep breaths before I get out of the car. Pete grabs his bag and heads for the door leaving me to follow behind him with my backpack. I automatically fall into a silent stalk as I reach the door and catch it before it can slam closed behind Pete.

"There any food left over from supper?" Pete asks as he walks into the lounge room and I nervously hang back as I try to gauge the general mood.

"You made it!" Sam says in surprise, "Wade said Rosy dropped by your place last night,"

"Yeah how is the Stray?" Malcolm asks.

"How is Rosy? She isn’t acting crazy is she?" Mitchell asks and I hear the sadness in his voice. Pete turns and looks back at me and I hear the room go silent except for the sounds of some x-box game.

"Is she here?" Mitchell demands and I hear one of the lounge chairs hit the floor and then he appears around the doorway. "Rosy!"

I smile nervously and glance towards the doorway behind him before I am able to speak, "Hallo Mitchell, it’s good to see you." I say quietly.

"Don’t keep her standing out there in the breeze way, let her come into the lounge room!" Sam calls and Mitchell smiles.

"Want to come in?" Mitchell asks.

"Might as well since I’m here," I say with a nervous glance towards the doorway.

My main memories are of being forced to stay when all I wanted was to flee a situation that had become too much for me to bear. I walk to the doorway and catch hold of his hand as I look in, everyone seems to be there but I look carefully to be sure. Sam, Edwin, Chris, Dwayne, Timny, Steven, Malcolm, Pete and Mitchell, the only one seeming to be missing was Micah.

"He’s just in the shower," Edwin says with a grin when I glance towards the kitchen nervously.

"Now we know why Dad made Donovan and Justin stay at the main house tonight," Dwayne says lightly.

"Dwayne…" Mitchell growls a warning at him with a frown.

"Mitchell, take a spoon full of cement and harden the fuck up." I tell him lightly.

Mitchell glances at me surprised and I smile, "I’m a big girl I can look after myself."

"Come on in and sit down … or help yourselves to a feed from the fridge. I’m sure there’s something to eat." Steven says as he gets to his feet.

"Or we could throw a couple of steaks on the grill, hallo Rosy." Micah says from behind me making me start nervously.

"How do you like your steak Rosy?" Edwin asks as he heads for the kitchen.

"Medium rare and slightly charred," Steven tells him.

I start laughing and shake my head. I notice everyone has stopped to look at me and I grin widely, "Actually, the correct answer and the one I very nearly blurted out at Pete’s is freshly killed and still running blood,"

Steven looks at me for a moment and then begins laughing as well, "Hell we would have known you were a cat for sure if you had said that, as it was we were wondering pretty hard."

"I was petrified you would guess as much," I admit as I head for the kitchen.

"You want one of us to take your backpack for you?" Mitchell asks as he walks alongside me.

"What? Oh, no don’t bother," I say and shrug out of it and drop it by the wall out of the way.

"Did you make it to that college lecture you headed off to?" Pete asks curiously.

I grimace and glance back at him with a slight frown, "Isn’t anything sacred in werecat society?" I ask.

"No, we can smell who’s getting a bit off the local girls. Hear who has to do the jerk and tug of a night, heck we even hear when one of the others fart when we’re asleep," Edwin tells me with a laugh, I glance his way and he grins.

"It’s a matter of TMI Edwin," I tell him dryly.

"What you don’t want to know when someone else farts?" Dwayne asks with a laugh.

"So did you make the lecture?" Pete asks again.

"Only thing that is TMI is childbirth stories, we don’t need to hear them until after our she-kitt has her first child. Sometimes TMI is what we need," Edwin says seriously and I look his way hurriedly, he gives me a faint nod.

"Too much knowledge can be a bad thing … too little could be disastrous," his voice has dropped low and I look away hurriedly as I become certain he knows.

"There wasn’t any lecture," I mutter as my face burns with humiliation.

"Well why the hell did you clear out like that," Pete demands angrily.

"Because I realised I was coming into heat and I knew I wouldn’t be able to hide that smell and Kendal Darnel had caught me the only other time it happened and there was no way I was letting any tom near me again if I could help it." I tell him angrily.

"Shit! No wonder I was ready to chance Micah wanting to rip my head off if you weren’t interested in him," Steven says his voice thick with shock.

"Did you know you were coming in when you came over that night?" Micah asks in a hard voice.

"No! Because I would have run a hundred miles if I had known it," I snap with my back to him.

"You’ll need to talk to Doc so you can work out when it’s going to happen otherwise any tom that comes near you will be ready to rip anyone and everyone apart for a chance," Micah warns evenly.

"How old are you Rosy?" Pete asks and I glance his way to see him frowning slightly.

"Nearly twenty-one and a half," I answer.

"I’ll get Doc to come by tomorrow," Micah mutters.

"You’ve reached the age that most young she-kitts start getting married," Sam tells me with a raised eyebrow. I look away hurriedly as his meaning sinks in, coming into season must be a regular thing and the obvious result was pregnancy.

"There must be a way to stop it," I mutter as I push my hair back distractedly.

"Yeah - get yourself a boyfriend and let him knock you up, problem solved." Micah tells me bluntly.

"Don’t you want a chance to get an invitation into the cage?" Edwin asks with a laugh.

"I sure as fuck do," Micah exclaims and there is muted laughter from the others.

"It’d be worth it all right," Steven laughs and I turn towards them confused.

"Ditto," Edwin says, shots a look my way and turns away with a grin. I cross my arms over my chest and start tapping my foot on the floor in irritation. The three of them have smirks on their faces and I long to throw something at them.

"Steven, Edwin, Micah now would be a good time to go take a moonlight run." Sam orders as he moves to stand beside Mitchell who is glaring at them in outrage.

"Yeah," Chris adds pushing past them with Malcolm at his side.

"Idiots," Dwayne mutters turning to face them.

"You going too Pete?" Timny asks in a hard voice.

"I’m staying but you three are leaving," Pete directs his remark at Micah, Edwin and Steven. I watch in stunned silence as the three toms leave laughing softly, once they are outside I hear the sounds that tell me they are shifting and then after a few minutes I hear them racing away on four feet.

"Ok, the birds and the bees or should I say the she-kitt and tom facts quickly and simply," Sam says turning to me, "Expect your heat every six to eight months unless pregnant or breastfeeding. Most parents take measures to ensure their daughter has her choice if she wants to consort with a tom during heat. The Queen/mother will lock her daughter in a secure room with a metal cage in it and if the daughter wants a tom of her choice to visit we call her request – ‘An invitation into the cage’. The mother locks them both in the cage so no other toms can get near by accident because the tom with the she-kitt will try to kill any tom if they try to interfere." Sam pauses to glance at the others as I struggle to take in what he just told me.

"You just had three toms let you know they’d be more than willing to accept any such invitation …" Chris cuts in to explain.

"No, you got that wrong. Micah hates me, he done his best to make my life miserable and unbearable the first time I was here." I deny in disbelief.

"Micah didn’t like my scent on you, didn’t like me touching you. He made that real clear to me," Mitchell tells me levelly. "He likes you just no other male near you,"

"Micah telling you to get a boyfriend and let him knock you up, it’s a way a tom tells a she-kitt he’s interested. Really interested without leaving himself open to rejection," Dwayne says with a shrug.

I look from one tom to another with shock as I realise they probably have similar thoughts as the other three, I open my mouth to speak but no words come as I take a step backwards.

"We’re here explaining this to you so you can take steps to avoid it. If we were interested we wouldn’t warn you what will happen. Just stand back and wait the chance …" Chris is quick to explain.

"Micah has been real interested from the first time he met you … before he knew you were a cat," Pete reminds me.

"Marissa will probably be happy to look out for you when the time comes," Sam tells me.

"Yeah she was real excited when you came here both times," Dwayne joins in.

"She’d make them stay away?" I ask hopefully.

"It’s very rare that the she-kitt in heat doesn’t ask for a tom she fancies to spend some time with her. You should know enough about what happens at that time to know why," Sam tells me gently.

I look away as I remember how desperate I had been to have Jasper inside me when I was fully on heat and I shake my head as I turn away.

"And toms lockup inside the she-kitt every time they … every time when she’s on heat and he …" I break off unable to name the act.

"Actually no. That only happens when the she-kitt trusts the tom enough to hold still for him to get deep enough for long enough." Sam answers softly "What ever tom caught you wasn’t gentle about it was he? He locked up with you at least the once for you to know about it,"

"Every time he climbed on no matter how much I begged him not to," I whisper very softly. I hear a choked sound come from Mitchell and jump as he punches the wall putting his fist through the plasterboard.

"No wonder you don’t like to be touched," Sam says quietly.

"I don’t like people I don’t know touching me," I say as I wrap my arms across my stomach.

"I’m going to cook us some supper," Pete announces as he goes to the fridge.

"We’ll need to put more meat down for breakfast," Chris chips in.

"You okay?" Dwayne asks when I glance his way nervously as he moves.

"I just need to try to get my head around what I’ve just been told," I say with a forced smile.

"Rosy, the whole aim of the game for the tom is to make the she-kitt like it so much she’s going to let him do it again and again even when she’s not on heat," Sam tells me.

"One or two steaks Rosy," Pete asks as he tosses a large steak onto the grill.

"One that size will do me," I say as I look at the meat.

"What you’ve been told hasn’t freaked you out has it?" Mitchell asks. I glance at him and I can see the worry deep in his eyes even though he is trying to hide it.

"It’s freaked me out enough to make me real careful what I do around them three now," I admit "But I’ve learnt how to handle hard stuff or bad stuff a bit differently."

"Yeah?" Sam queries.

"Rosy was telling me last night she’s been getting counselling," Pete explains with a glance at me.

"Good," This comes from Sam.

"That ready yet Pete?" I ask impatiently.

"Rosy. Sit. Stay. Wait," Pete tells me firmly.

"I am a cat not a dog Pete," I pretend to growl then laugh as he grabs a plate and puts my steak on it. I set to work on the meat eating hungrily but take my time eating as I glance at the different toms around the room.

"Sam," I say between mouthfuls.

"Yeah?"

"You sound like you got some … experience about this whole cage thing," I say delicately.

"I don’t want an invitation Rosy. It’d only take one good smell to make me accept but I am telling you now, I don’t want an invitation." Sam tells me firmly with a slight edge to his voice.

"No I was thinking it sounds like you’ve had an invitation from a she-kitt," I say with a slight wave of my fork. "Turn about is fair play. Do tell,"

"He’s gotten an invitation from the same she-kitt for her last three heats," Mitchell says with a wide grin, "He’s even had to visit recently for just that the last time."

"And no little Sams running around?" I ask.

"Birth control is used unless the tom and she-kitt have marriage plans," Sam tells me. I push my plate away with the bone and the fat trimmings sitting on the plate, Chris eyes me warily for a few moments before carefully reaching out and taking the plate.

"Is anyone going hunting tomorrow?" I ask as I glance around.

"That’s why I came here remember," Pete tells me.

"Most if not all of us," Malcolm says with a shrug. "And if you want to go you can be sure Micah, Edwin and Steven will go. They’ll want to impress you,"

"Is that why Edwin keeps telling me he owes me a couple of kills?" I ask suspiciously.

"Yeap," Timny chimes in.

"Let’s watch TV or do you want to play an x-box game?" Dwayne asks.

"A movie," I decide and head for the lounge room. I sit in one of the chairs but when Sam comes in he walks over and picks me up before carrying me to the lounge where he dumps me in the centre and sits to one side of me.

"More of us can sit near you here," Mitchell tells me with a grin as he settles on the other side of me.

"You don’t have to watch me to make sure I don’t run away or hurt myself," I mutter annoyed.

"Basic werecat fact – we tend to sit around in groups or piles with either the most dominant male or the she-kitt at the centre," Mitchell supplies.

"Oh," I say slightly shocked then a warm feeling begins to fill me and I realise I am exactly where I want to be, well except maybe for the absence of the three toms that were out roaming in cat form. "Oh!"

"She just got it," Malcolm supplies.

"She just got what?" Micah asks from behind the lounge and I start slightly as I realise I didn’t hear him enter the building. With that thought the door bangs loudly and heavy breathing heralds the arrival of Edwin and Steven.

"You might want to put your jeans on Micah," Edwin tells him with a bit of a bite to his voice.

"You should have come for a run," Steven says to me as he comes around the front of the lounge to find a seat on the floor although the toms that had stayed with me have all the close seats. I glance his way but look away quickly, I’m not comfortable with the fact he’s interested in me and I’m not comfortable with noticing how good he looks wearing only his low riding jeans.

"Looks like we get the silent treatment," Edwin announces and I realise I have been sitting there without a word for several minutes as I try to deal with my unwanted reactions.

"I know how to treat someone who gives me the silent treatment," Micah says from directly behind me. The next instant he is leaning over me from behind, his arms crossed over my lower ribs as he nuzzles in against my neck with his nose and mouth. I immediately begin to struggle pushing at his arms and trying to bring my shoulder up to force his face away from my neck.

"Get off me," I cry hoarsely.

"I’m not on you …yet," Micah purrs against my neck and I suddenly begin struggling much harder.

"Enough," Sam roars beside me.

I’m on the floor, facing the lounge as I scramble backwards on my hands and buttocks. My heart is pounding and my breath rasps in my throat while fire races up my spine in savage waves, I stumble as I get to my feet and try to walk. More hands grab me as I struggle to remain on my feet and in human form.

"It’s alright Rosy," Mitchell tells me as he tries to hold me but I try to push away from him.

"No it’s not, I’m gonna change. Now get away from me," I growl from between gritted teeth as I struggle to remain in control. Suddenly I am free and I manage to make it to the doorway where I cling to the door jam and press my forehead against the cool wood as I struggle for control of my cat.

"Rosy," I hear both Sam and Mitchell but I can’t let go of my inner cat long enough to respond, not yet. It takes time but gradually I regain control and the fiery pain recedes, I open my eyes and realise everyone is silent, the TV emitting the only noise. I slowly turn my head to look at the toms, they are all standing watching me and I’m not sure if it is to be ready to help me or to be ready to protect themselves. I feel more exhausted and pain ridden then if I had changed and changed back immediately and without any food for a week.

"I was only playing around," Micah tells me when I glance his way.

"Yeah well you were a fucking idiot about it," Edwin growls aggressively and several others growl as well.

"Bravo, let’s all hike the aggression up a few more notches and see if I can deal with that as well." I manage to say bitterly.

"You need to sit down or lay down?" Mitchell asks as he moves towards me slowly.

"Lay down, away from all the noise and agro." I answer faintly as I close my eyes and rest my forehead against the wood once again.

It is the hour before dawn when I wake and I lift my head to look around as I register the strong smell of others. Mitchell is in front of me; my arm across his waist and my head has used his shoulder as a pillow while the warm body I can feel against my back is Sam. At my feet there is faint movement and I look that way to see Dwayne climbing off the bottom of the bed, he had been stretched out at our feet.

"You getting out?" I ask softly.

"Yeah, nature calls." He tells me as he leaves the room in his jeans. I sit up carefully as I look around in the dim light, this time of morning is my favourite time for a swim and I mental curse the fact I am not near my pond. I crawl off the bed careful not to disturb Sam and Mitchell before heading out towards the toilet. A few minutes later I find Dwayne in the kitchen putting the coffee machine on and cooking bacon.

"Mmm, smells good." I say as I move to stand beside him and watch as he turns the bacon. "Extra crispy please," I tell him as I rest a hand on top of his shoulder and lean against his side for a few minutes. I watch as Dwayne puts the crisp bacon on the plate snagging a piece for himself as I pick up a piece to chew, I feel him tense beside me and slowly put his hand near the bacon once again.

"Notice something?" Dwayne asks in a low tone.

"What?"

"You’re not guarding the food and we’re eating from the same plate," Dwayne says lightly.

"Oh," I say startled and break into relieved laughter. Dwayne laughs as well and puts his arm around my shoulders to give me a quick squeeze.

"Make yourself a bacon sandwich and eat it before the others smell it and come out for their share." He warns me.

I’m at the table eating when Micah and Steven are the first to wonder out, Micah grins as he helps himself to a hasty bacon sandwich and sits next to me. Several moments later Steven is on the other side and I am surrounded by the scent of them as I eat. The others make their way to the kitchen over the next few minutes and soon we are all busy eating.

"Hunting just before lunch today," Micah announces as he puts his arm over the back of my chair and leans towards me. I have to control the urge to lean away from him or I’d be leaning towards Steven, I fix the problem with a sharp elbow to Micah’s ribs.

"Back off," I warn him and he laughs softly as he rubs his ribs but he straightens up.

"Mitchell you’d better get Doc to look at your hand while he’s here today," Sam says with a glance at his brother.

"He’ll be here in about half an hour," Micah says before leaning towards me. "You need to go have a long talk with him."

"And you need to stop harassing me," I snap at him disliking the little curl of excitement low in my stomach.

"We told Rosy a lot of information last night so she’s well aware of what you lot are up to," Timny says. Micah explodes out of the chair beside me and has hold of Timny by the throat before anyone can move. Sam, Chris, Malcolm and Dwayne rush to try to pull Micah off Timny while I hurry to get well away from the resulting struggle.

"Micah! The boy didn’t mean any harm by his remark," Sam snaps as he manages to get in between them.

"If you’ve scared her I’ll skin you alive and use your hide as a doormat," Micah snarls as he backs up a step.

"No we told her information so she can cope when she has to," Sam snaps angrily.

"Keep out of it," Micah snarls and turns his attention to Sam. There are a few tense minutes as neither tom backs down before the sound of a vehicle distracts everyone.

"Come on, that sounds like Doc." Mitchell tells me as he urges me towards the door. I hurry to follow him and all but run to the car that is parking outside the main house.

"Hi Doc," Mitchell says as Doc climbs out of the car. "I’ve busted up my hand a bit, can you check it out for me?"

"Yeah sure. Hallo Rosy," Doc says with a smile in my direction.

"Hallo," I say suddenly embarrassed by why I was going to talk to Doc.

"Let’s go inside Marissa has kindly offered to let us use the games room today," Doc tells us as he heads for the house.

Marissa meets us at the door and leads the way to a large room that is off at the end of one of the wings of the building. Doc quickly examines Mitchell’s hand and announces that is only severely bruised and will be right after a shift.

"Mitchell you can go back to The Quarters now, I’m sure Rosy would appreciate some privacy." Marissa orders firmly but with a smile. Mitchell gets up and leaves without complaint and I look after him nervously.

"Would you like me to stay Rosy? So you have another woman present," Marissa asks.

"Please," I say uneasily.

"Ok, I’ve had phone calls from both Micah and Sam early hours of this morning. Micah asked me to come and talk to you about coming into heat, Sam has told me what’s been said and has happened since you got here…" Doc is saying.

"Something has happened?" Marissa asks worriedly.

"Micah, Edwin and Steven are going stir crazy and Micah got a little too friendly last night …" Doc explains.

"I’ll give that boy the hiding of his life! And his father will discipline him harshly," Marissa exclaims angrily.

"From what Sam said Micah had to have a good sniff of Rosy and tried to scent mark her but she didn’t know what was happening other than he was getting overly friendly," Doc explains.

"Rosy, you get warning signs when you’re about to cycle. You get a clear discharge from your front passage; it’s usually noticeable in the amount. You come up to top weight, become aroused all the time, become irritable easily and crave company, lots of company and then you start to get a strong distinctive odour." Marissa explains gently. "If you know what day you get the discharge you can predict when you will come into heat. If you ever need it I can perform the role your mother normally would, well a she-kitt’s mother would for her daughter."

"How much warning will I get before this happens?" I ask uneasily.

"Two weeks. The day you have the discharge is day one, the day you come into full heat is day fourteen. Heat should end day twenty. Most She-kitts and Dams begin to smell two days before at day twelve. It’s nature’s way to get plenty of toms present so she can choose from them." Marissa explains.

"Have you got one of them rooms with the cage in it here?" I ask as I twist my hands nervously.

"Yes, it hasn’t been used for a few years now but it wouldn’t take long to fix it up." Marissa tells me.

"How long to fix it up?" I ask as I take a deep breath.

"A couple of days, a week more likely." Marissa says with a shrug.

"Doc, Sam said something about birth control?" My voice is shaking and both of them look at me with sudden understanding.

"How long have you got before you start smelling," Marissa asks as she gets to her feet.

"Tomorrow, possibly only tonight." I swallow nervously as I start to have trouble breathing.

"I will go and make sure the room and cage are ready by lunch time," Marissa announces.

"Can you come back as soon as you can?" I ask scared.

"Sure sweetheart," Marissa tells me gently before leaving the room.

"Ok, birth control options." Doc says lifting his black bag onto the table. "There’s an injection you can have today. Tablets one each day from the day you start to smell, only as good as how well you remember to take them or condoms."

"Which is most protection?" I ask in fear.

"I would say abstinence but that is often not an option when the hormones peak so the injection is the best protection. Pills are easily forgotten and condoms can be a major inconvenience," Doc tells me in a business like tone as he opens the bag and removes a plastic wrapped syringe and a bottle with liquid in it. "How heavy are you do you know?"

"One-forty-eight to one-fifty," I answer nervously.

"Nice big healthy she-kitt," Doc says in admiration. I turn my head away as he injects the serum into my arm and then wipes the injection site over with an alcohol swab.

"All worked out, Wade is going to get Sam and Pete to give him a hand since they are the oldest of the most stable. The bed won’t be new but it’s only to sleep on and we do have a spare TV and DVD player you can use and the toms will be band from the house, even Donny and Justin. Now what is worrying you dear," Marissa asks as she sits down again.

"I’ll go leave you two talk in private. Might go tell the toms Rosy here is spending the morning with you and Jazzy; stop any of them venturing over here." Doc tells Marissa.

"Thank you Doc. Now what is it you wanted to talk to me about or do you just need company?" Marissa asks with an understanding smile. I wait until Doc has left the room before I glance at Marissa nervously.

"I need to know what a tom would do if he were invited … invited into the cage," I say nervously and look away uneasily.

"Ok I know you’re not a virgin but I’ll try to explain as much as I can as if … well it will be your first time," Marissa tells me and pauses for a moment, "He’ll be very aroused and want to touch you and hold you, stroke you. He’ll try to persuade you to let him touch you intimately, be very interested in foreplay and if you lay down and let him climb on top he’ll only enter you only if you want although he will try to persuade you to want him to. When he does …I mean if he does he’ll make sure you enjoy it, his main goal is to get you to want him to have a sexual relationship with you after your heat."

"He won’t try to lockup?" I ask fearfully.

"That usually doesn’t occur until two or three years into a marriage, it takes a lot of trust to let a tom do that. But I must confess if you trust him enough it is as good as if not better than ordinary sex." Marissa says with a dreamy expression, she gives a start and a self-conscious laugh. "Would you mind if Jazzy visited you while you’re in the room? Most young she-kitts get to see some of what being on heat is before they have their first heat."

"As long as I’m coping okay," I say uncertainly.

"Okay, I’ll take that as a maybe." Marissa tells me. "I’ll just go and get some sandwiches and coffee … or would you rather tea?"

"Coffee is fine thanks," I say with a forced smile. I sit in the large room alone while Marissa goes to get the food, I look at the window and realise with a start that it is nearly lunchtime. I go to the window and look out into the brightness of the day relieved no one should be able to see into the house’s dim interior. I can see the side of the quarters and the toms standing around over there, several of them keep glancing towards the house and I back up a step involuntarily.

Wade appears from near the house and heads over towards them, there seems to be a short conversation and he signals towards the tree line. I watch as all but one of the toms begin stripping and dropping to all fours prior to shifting, the only one not stripping is Micah and I know this by his size and some instinct as a hot little curl of excitement swirls low in my stomach.

Day Fifteen

I pace the confines of the room restlessly. Movies and television hold no interest for me and the uncomfortable feeling of arousal is now constant. I take a deep breath near the small window and sift the air for any scents and groan in frustration when I realise what I am doing. Thoughts of Micah, Edwin and Steven haunt me and I even consider Malcolm and Chris as options but I grit my teeth and refuse to ask for any one of them to come and visit me. My lunch sits untouched on its tray as did my breakfast before it but I pay hunger no heed as I continue to move around restlessly.

Day Eighteen

I pace the cage restlessly going from one corner to the other until I am in danger of driving myself crazy, I can’t eat and I only drink as raging thirst drives me. I know Marissa comes in for most of each day, sitting in a chair in the room but I have confined myself to the cage as my hormones rage driving me to distraction. My lust is so strong now I imagine I can smell the toms on the slight breeze that wafts through the small high windows. My inner cat screams and rages but I am unable to change in my present state and shudder and shake through those tantrums as well.

Day Twenty

I toss fretfully on the bed trying to sleep, I feel weak and tired and irritable still in the grip of my heat. I take the lid off the bottle of water and drink thirstily but I ignore the breakfast Marissa has cooked for me, not even the crisp bacon tempts my appetite. Close to the middle of the day I get off the bed and go to the bars of the cage where I pull against them testing their strength, I try the locked door and scream in rage when it refuses to give.

"Are you alright Rosy?" Marissa asks as she walks into the room. I turn away and pace the cage in agitation before stoping to look at her.

"How much longer?" I demand and turn away in rage at the desperation in my voice. I scream and throw the bottle at the bars in front of me managing not to throw it in Marissa’s direction.

"I think you’re in the last hours by the sound of those screams. Are you sure you don’t need one of the toms?" She asks gently. My body tenses and begs for the release it knows would come but I grit my teeth and shake my head even as I struggle not to beg for one of the toms, any one of them. My fear of what a male would do with me overrides my need for release.

Day Twenty-one early hours of the morning

I wake and open my eyes, hunger gnaws at my stomach and I sit up. I see the drinks cooler outside the cage and walk to the bars where I reach through to lift the lid off. Inside a variety of meats in plastic containers sit in a bed of ice. I lift one container out and tilt it to get it through the bars, the chicken inside is moist and tender and I chew it slowly to give my stomach a chance to readjust to food. I grab a bottle of orange juice and drink some before having another mouthful of chicken. I eat steadily until I am comfortably full then I return to the bed with a bottle of juice, I smile as I lay back down.

I tilt my head back and let the water run down over my face before washing the flower scented soap from my skin, I turn my attention to my shoulders and slowly lather down my body until I reach my navel. I take my time and a lot of care to clean every inch of my skin and remove all traces of the scent from when I went through heat. Finally satisfied I turn the shower off and step out to reach for a towel and dry myself thoroughly before reaching for the neatly folded new clothes Marissa bought for me. The matching bra and pants are decidedly sexy, the jeans firm through the hip and butt while the t-shirt is clingy and cut low in the neckline to show the upper swell of my breasts. I eye myself critically in the mirror for a few moments before opening the door and heading for the kitchen. Wade and Marissa are sitting at the table enjoying a leisurely cup of coffee after breakfast and Marissa’s eyes light up as she spots me.

"Feeling better now?" She asks.

"Yes but these clothes really aren’t me," I tell her uncomfortably.

Wade half turns in his chair to look at me and grins, "Now with all the trouble I had keeping those two big sons of mine away from the house I’d take it as a personal favour if you would walk over to the warrior quarters like that and make those boys turn somersaults." He says as his eyes tell me exactly what a male werecat thinks of my outfit.

"They’ll get the wrong idea," I protest.

"Well make them toe the line. Show them you’re not the push over they were hoping for," Wade tells me. "Come on, I’ll walk over there with you. I want to see them get put in their places."

I watch as both Wade and Marissa get to their feet leaving their half finished cups of coffee on the table, I follow them from the house reluctant to go over to The Quarters the way I look but I have no real choice. Marissa waves me up to walk beside her and I chew on my bottom lip nervously as Wade places both index fingers in his mouth and whistles shrilly. The first out of the door are Donovan and Justin followed by Mitchell.

"It’s Rosy," Donovan yells and runs towards me; he grabs me around the waist and hugs me fondly. "I thought you were dying yesterday!" he declares as he leans back to look at me. He’s nearly as tall as me I realise and not far from being mature enough to understand a heat cycle.

"Rosy," Mitchell says warmly and I grin at him. "You okay?"

"Better than okay," I say happily.

"Uh oh, here comes Micah," Donovan warns and moves away. I glance up in time to see Micah stalking towards me with an angry scowl on his face before I am engulfed in his arms and he is openly sniffing at me and pulling me up against his taunt body.

"Stop it, Micah, Stop it." I protest as I try to struggle but he is holding me too tightly and I can’t get my arms up between us.

"Micah. Back off now, you know better than to treat a she-kitt like that." Wade orders sternly and I can feel the reluctance in Micah as he lets me push myself out of his arms. Edwin is right there to grab me but one discreet sniff and he quickly releases me with a disappointed smile. Steven has seen enough to back off with a friendly grin and I frown angrily at Micah before turning to Sam and giving him a brief hug.

"Micah, you had better behave yourself! If I even suspect you have stepped out of line I will come down on you very hard." Wade warns with a serious frown.

"I had better not smell any toms from any of the other clans having been here," Micah growls.

"You arsehole," I yell at him angrily. "You had better not of meant what I think you meant! I have had it up to here …" I motion over my head, "…with …" I scream with anger as I am lost for words and I ball my fist up and punch him in the stomach as hard as I can. His breath comes out with a satisfying whoosh and I storm into the building. I can hear the others laughing outside and I head for Mitchell and Sam’s room, I hurriedly strip off the offending clothes take a deep breath and unleash my cat. She comes racing out and I welcome the pain as my body changes with an explosion of energy. I yawn and flex my whiskers, arch my neck and stretch delicately before heading for the back door at a sedate pace. Everyone falls silent as I nudge the screen door open and walk outside. I walk up to Mitchell, Sam and Dwayne in turn and nudge their leg before walking several steps towards the tree line and looking back over my shoulder at them.

"I’m going too," Edwin declares as he begins to strip his clothes off.

"Can we go too Dad?" Donovan asks excitedly.

"No. You, Justin and Jazzy have to stay here. Rosy hasn’t hunted with the others before and they have to get used to each other," Marissa cuts in.

I start towards the tree line at a trot, my ears twitching backwards and forwards listening for the dreaded sound of pursuit. When it comes I bolt forward for a short distance before managing to collect myself and stop to turn and face those behind me. Micah is the first to reach me and I snarl my displeasure at him and slap at his head with sheathed claws before extending my nose for a friendly sniff, Sam rubs down one of my sides and I turn my head towards him with interest but Micah reclaims my attention with a nip to my shoulder. Mitchell arrives and I greet him with a purr before turning my attention to the others who arrive on mass. Someone licks my side and someone else nips me low on the foreleg while others jostle each other to rub themselves against me. Finally having enough I lay my ears back and snarl a warning, all but Micah back off and I whirl away to go racing along the tree line for a short distance before turning into the trees.

I am fast as I twist and turn through the undergrowth; I hear the others falling behind and twitch my ears as I try to work out who is managing to stay fairly close. I pause on top of a log and look back for an instant before running once again. Further on I stop on top of a stump and look back, in the lead is clearly Micah by his size with Edwin a close second and three not far behind. I turn and run once again only this time I notch my speed up and take to the trees for nearly a quarter of a mile before hitting the ground at full speed. I slow up and rotate my ears listening for pursuit, hearing only faint sounds I slow to a stop and leap up onto a fallen log in clear view.

I have recovered my breath and am ready to continue on running when two werecats come into sight, I call and they change course slightly to head my way and I jump down to meet them. Edwin is first to reach me and rubs his head on my shoulder before sitting down to catch his breath. Mitchell is a short step behind him and greets me enthusiastically before laying down to rest. Edwin rises to his feet to give several long coughing calls before coming over to rub his head on me roughly, I gather he isn’t very happy with me for some reason and I set about grooming his shoulder trying to calm him down.

Micah is only a short time reaching us followed closely by Sam who bites me gently and cuffs me several times until I lay my ears back and hiss at him. Chris, Malcolm, Timny and Dwayne arrive with Dwayne limping in one foreleg. Steven is the last to arrive and clearly in a bad mood as he snarls at me and receives a hard cuff from Micah. There is a melee as we greet each other and the toms try to outdo each other rubbing against me, finally I hiss and spit snapping my teeth near their flanks until they quickly retreat. Micah grabs me by the back of the neck biting down until I cower on the ground submissively. He keeps a firm hold on me as he moves to stand over me.

My cat happily lifts our tail as he moves over me and the shock as he enters my passage pumping eagerly holds me still until he surges deep inside me releasing his seed. I screech in surprise and jump from under him pulling out of his hold on my neck as I turn and swipe at his shoulder taking care not to use my claws harshly. He backs away looking as surprised as I feel and I turn away to sit down and clean myself intimately after his service. Chris nudges my shoulder and I turn towards him with an angry growl, Mitchell comes forward with a whine but I get up and begin walking away.

Micah moves up beside me and I lay my ears back in warning but allow him to nuzzle me around my ears before he takes the lead as we move through the trees. I hesitate mid step to nose a deer print but the print is old with grains of sand blown into it and the scent has gone. Micah leads us up a slight hill and slows so he can sneak forward and look ahead, his tail is twitching and I watch it for a few moments before boldly walking up beside him. Ahead of us is a small clearing along the banks of a shallow stream and nibbling the grass are four deer. I freeze and drop into a crouch before inching forward, a sharp nip on my flank makes me jerk and glance back, the others are creeping forward and I slow my approach so they have a chance to get into position as well. Micah moves to the lead and I focus on a small doe behind the others, she is fat and shiny with a tendency to look around with every second or third bite. I carefully settle each of my paws in the leaves and twigs as I keep half an eye on Micah, his haunches bunch and then he is leaping towards the deer. The slight noises around me as the others leap forward break my concentration for a split second and I am a leap behind the others as they rush forward.

My deer gives a startled jump as she jerks her head up but I am landing from my first leap and bringing my hind feet up outside my front feet and power housing ahead in another long leap. The deer manages two startled jumps and then I hit her hard in a messy take down that has us both tumbling over and over, my jaws are clamped around her throat as I come to a rest on my stomach and I can taste the sweet blood that pours into my mouth. When the deer has twitched for the last time I stand up and grasp her carcase by the neck as I straddle it and begin to drag it towards the cover of the trees. I tear into the deer eating hungrily, blood runs from the meat and I purr as I rip chunks free. I look up as I hear a whine and see Sam standing watching me eat, I look around to see the others sharing the meat from the kills.

Micah and Steven are eating together while Edwin, Malcolm and Chris eat from another carcase. The last carcase is host to Mitchell, Dwayne and Timny while Sam watches me. My first instinct is to growl and protect my kill but seeing the others eating together I lie down and lower my head submissively. Sam moves towards my deer slowly and looks from the carcase, to me then back again asking permission to eat silently. I begin eating once again and soon his muzzle is buried in the carcase beside mine as we both eat hungrily. When I have eaten my fill I sit up and begin to clean my face, eating a kill is always a messy thing for me and I lick my lips before using my paw to clean my muzzle. The venison has been a treat I don’t often have.

I walk to the stream and drink my fill before lifting my head to look around, the others are cleaning themselves after eating and I notice not much remains of any of the deer. Edwin comes over for a drink before standing beside me and rubbing his head on my shoulder, when this gets no rebuff he begins cleaning my face near my ears and I lower my head and turn it so he stops. Micah comes over and rubs against my side and I lean into his body as he turns around and comes up between Edwin and me rubbing against that side as well, he rests his chin on the back of my neck for a moment before moving away to drink. Gradually everyone make their way over for a drink before Micah turns and with a soft grunt heads off towards the trees. The others turn to follow him and I hesitate a moment as I glance back at what’s left of my kill before I trot after them.

I trot along beside Mitchell for a while before growing bored and taking to the trees, I hear Micah calling me and I stop to look down at him from my perch on a branch. I yawn and show my teeth off before jumping down from the tree to trot along with the others once more. I begin to grow tired from the exercise with a full stomach and settle into a steady walk along side Mitchell, I stop and watch the others continue on until Micah stops and looks back at me. He motions with his head the way he is headed but I sit down and don’t follow his urging to get me to walk with them, he returns to me and rubs his head on my shoulder but I shy away from him and race past him to run on ahead. I slip into my fast paced travelling trot and am surprised when the toms catch up to me and keep pace, we travel quickly now and finally leave the trees to come out in the clearing of the compound. I break into a sprint and head for the quarters, Edwin keeps pace with me for a short distance and I stretch out a little more as I dig in for more speed. I am alone for the time it takes me to shift and I reach for my clothes hurriedly as I hear the others enter the building, the memory of Micah mounting me and serving me sets my temper burning and I storm through the house looking for him. I find him outside in the middle of his shift and I grab up a t-shirt I recognise as his intending to hit him with it, I swing my arm back but I am grabbed from behind and swung away from him.

"No you don’t! Never ever touch anyone while they are shifting!" Mitchell orders as he firmly plants his body between Micah and me.

"Touch him! I’m going to fucking well smash him!" I yell angrily as I try to step around him.

"Don’t touch anyone while they shift!" Steven yells at me as he comes over to stand beside Mitchell.

"What’s going on?" Sam demands as he comes over to us pulling his jeans on.

"She was going to touch Micah in the middle his shift!" Steven exclaims outraged and Sam grabs me by one arm and drags me back inside.

"You can’t go touching someone in the middle of their shift; they are totally vulnerable and defenceless!" Sam tells me angrily.

"You saw what he did to me out there didn’t you?" I yell at him.

"I didn’t realise what the heck was happening until you screamed and jumped away from him!" Sam says looking upset. The screen door bangs loudly and Micah storms into the room, I turn to face him angrily but he towers over me and I take a step backwards.

"Don’t you ever try to do anything when I am shifting!" Micah roars angrily.

"You make one of them your bitch because if you ever do that to me again I will neuter you with one swipe of my claws!" I yell back at him.

"I don’t seem to recall you protesting while I was doing it!" Micah snarls at me as he rubs at the long shallow scratch marks that start near the point of his shoulder and travel nearly all the way down to his elbow.

"I thought you were just being all dominant tom until I realised where you were!" I snap as my anger starts to leave me and I start feeling embarrassed.

"I’m having first shower!" Micah snaps and walks away leaving me standing there. I become aware of the other toms coming into the lounge room, several of them are sniffing loudly and when I glance their way I am mortified as I realise they can smell sex on me.

"Why did you try to run away?" Mitchell asks me.

"I wasn’t running away," I say surprised and glance at Sam.

"Weren’t you?" He asks doubtfully.

"No, I was just running for the sake of running after being …" I let my voice trail off without mentioning the cage I had been in and I look away uncomfortably. I try not to remember that each time before when I had run I had indeed been running away and I almost grimace to myself as I realise my past was colouring their view of me.

"You wouldn’t understand," I mutter and head outside. I sit in the shade along the side of the building feeling miserable, the hunt had been supposed to make me feel better – feel more like me but all it had managed was making the others doubt me.

"You okay?" It’s Edwin who has found me and he eases down not far from me.

"Just go away and leave me alone," I say miserably, my misery does not like company.

"Just for the record … I know you weren’t running away. There was no fear or stress in your scent," Edwin says lightly before getting back to his feet and walking off. I turn my head and watch him go, stunned he actually believes me. There is a yearning deep inside me to leave this place and yet I am reluctant to go and leave the toms behind, I groan as I close my eyes and lower my head.

"Sulking are you?" Steven startles me out of my thoughts and I lift my head to glance his way. He is standing with his arms crossed and feet akimbo, he looks angry and very very intimidating from my position sitting on the ground.

"What do you want?" I ask dryly.

"Micah says you’re to come inside where we can keep an eye on you," Steven tells me tightly.

Ah so he doesn’t like being used as a messenger boy and he hasn’t forgiven me for being ready to smash Micah while he was changing.

I get to my feet and head inside ignoring Steven who walks behind me, I don’t let him know he is getting to me as the sound of his steps behind me make me feel like I am being stalked. I head for the shower and am relieved to find it free, I shut the door behind me and quickly strip then turn on the water. I wash myself and take care to wash away as much evidence of Micah’s service as I can; finally I am satisfied with the results and step from the shower. I only have the clothes I had on with me so I dress but leave off my underpants that smell of sex with Micah and crumple them up in my hand before I turn to the sink and rinse them thoroughly. In the lounge room I find Doc seated in one of the chairs while the others are spread out all over the room.

"Hallo Rosy. Would you mind if I took a blood sample so we can try to work out which clan you’re closest related to?" Doc asks.

"Actually yes I would mind," I say annoyed.

"It would help with some research I’ve been working on, trying to trace back which werecats are actually interbreeding with humans." Doc tells me patiently.

"Frankly I’m not interested," I tell him levelly.

"Ok, can you answer a few simple questions?" Doc asks resigned.

"Such as?" I counter.

"You’re a Caruthers right? Harry Caruthers was your father?" Doc gets a note pad and pen out.

"In everyway that matters yes, but if you mean biologically then no. He was my step-father; he fell in love with my Mum not long before I was born." I say tightly.

"You know your mothers family name? Who your biological father is?" Doc asks evenly.

"Well I been told two different versions on that count, either my father is a mongrel bastard who uses women as a punching bag or he is some slime ball who gets a married woman pregnant then leaves her to face her husband alone. Either way a low down cunt in my estimation," I say bitterly

"Who told you two different stories?" Doc queries softly.

"Donald Caruthers is my step father’s uncle and the guy I used to work for, he told me the abused story. He told me my mother was too frightened to go back to her husband. He believed the guy abused her. She said too much had happened to be able to go back. When I asked Harry about it he told me a different story, claims Mum said she couldn’t go back and break her husbands heart with the child she carried – me. He figured she must have had an affair and got pregnant with this other guy and her old man couldn’t have kids or didn’t want them, me. Harry said Jeddah always claimed her unborn baby was her last chance, but either way she was damned." I can’t keep the bitterness out of my voice as I remember my turmoil as a child.

"Who’s Jeddah?" Doc asks.

"Jeddah MacIntosh, my mother. Harry called her Miss Molly," I say bluntly.

"I don’t…!" Sam exclaims but is shushed by Micah I guess they all want to hear the grimy details.

"Do you know the name of her husband?" Doc asks in a strained voice.

"Ray MacIntosh," Mitchell supplies the name and I turn towards him with a snarl.

"How do you know the low down cunts name?" I challenge him.

"He’s our father," Sam says getting to his feet, "Jeddah was our mothers name,"

"That’s fucking crap! I was an only child! My mother never had any other children and she would never have left them if she did have other children! Hell, both Doc Caruthers and Harry said she was so paranoid about something happening to me she never let me out of her sight! Harry said the only reason I wasn’t with her when she died was because she went out to get something to eat." I say in disbelief.

"Don’t you see Rosy? You were the she-kitt Ray and Jeddah would have tried so hard for! The one that lived!" Mitchell tries to tell me with excitement.

"What! You’re saying I was born to a werecat! That’s fucking bullshit! I didn’t change until after a cat had attacked me! I was human!" I yell furiously in disbelief.

"Don’t you see Rosy?" Doc asked calmly, "Another son would be heartbreaking, welcome but heartbreaking after loosing a daughter at birth the last time. But to loose another daughter, Jeddah must have feared for her husband’s sanity if she was pregnant and suspected she was carrying another girl. He took the death of Mitchell’s twin so hard,"

"I wasn’t born like something out of a fucking freak show! I was born normal! I just got turned into a fucking freak!" I yell in disbelief. Too much has happened today and I can’t take it in, I can feel the panic rising - the need to run building.

"Rosy a simple blood test can clear this up. Potentially two brothers and a father to cross match against…" Doc tries talking to me.

"No! No! I am so out of here! I am not listening to any more of this shit!" I yell outraged.

"I’m sorry Rosy but we can’t let you leave," Edwin says softly, apologetically right behind me. I jerk my head around to look at him but it is too late as he engulfs me in his arms and lifts me from the floor, panic engulfs me and I lash out wildly with my feet. I hear him grunt with pain but he keeps his grip and I feel my legs being caught at the knees to try to minimise the damage I can do. I jerk my head back hard and see stars as it connects with his but his hold doesn’t ease and I find myself jostled as he falls into a seat on the lounge.

"Out of the way," I hear Doc say and try to look his way but all get is a quick glimpse of something held in his hand and I scream in fear realising I am about to be injected with some drug. It stings as it goes into my thigh and I try to jerk my leg away but someone heavy is either sitting on it or holding it down.

"No! No! Let me go! Let me go!" I yell as I struggle. Edwin grunts as I struggle, my elbows and heels must be finding targets as I try to get loose. My pulse roars in my ears and I snarl angrily and turn my head looking for some body part left within reach of my teeth. I feel my inner cat struggling against me wanting release, she leaps forward but is strangely restrained and she whines as she stands trembling unable to break free. A strange lethargy is starting to grow and I renew the intensity of my struggles but my strength is failing and I pause for a moment trying to gather my reserves.

"Doc?" Mitchell sounds concerned and I begin struggling again.

"We just got to wait another moment or two, this takes longer to work." Doc makes no sense as I pause once again to try to gather my energy. I fling my head back and blink dazedly as I try to focus on the ceiling, something is seriously wrong with me.

"Lay her down, she’s just about out," Doc says quietly and I blink slowly, my eyes not wanting to stay open.

"She okay? Remember what happened last time," Mitchell sounds frantic now and I wonder why as my eyes sink closed against my wishes. I can hear everything but I can’t move or speak, I hear someone sniff close to me and I try to recoil but my body refuses to co-operate.

"I can’t believe she stood for you," Doc says in disbelief.

"It just happened," Micah sounds upset and I wonder what’s bothering him.

"You fucking idiot Edwin! Why the hell did you have to grab her like that! You should have let me talk to her!" Mitchell yells angrily.

"See how hard she fought, it would have taken more than one stray to catch her unless she was in heat and her cat wanted a tom." Someone, I think Malcolm says.

I feel a slight pinch in the crook of my elbow and I can hear a strange rhythmic noise for a few seconds before it stops and something pushes hard into my arm. My body has this fabulous floating sensation and I can hear my heartbeat beneath my ear, is that where it’s supposed to be? What’s happening? Wasn’t I running through the trees?