Remember that time my internet went out for an entire month?

I thought it was the end of the world as I knew it. No YouTube, no skype, no Jardon. Where I lived there was hardly any cellphone reception anywhere, so unless I drove six miles and called you on a static ridden pay phone, I was completely cut off from you.

I wanted to die.

So I did a sh!t ton of chores to keep my mind off of you. I cleaned my entire house, made my bed, dusted, I read A BOOK, JORDAN. I mean, it was three-pages long and I had no idea what was going on through the whole thing, but I read it!

When I checked my mail a few days after my power went, I found a letter with your cute little cursive name on it, stamped with a kiss layered in pink glitter gloss. You're a dweeb, I hope you know. I opened it up and sure enough, you wrote me a full fledged letter with address and dates and everything. It was full of worried questions about where I was, what happened, why won't I pick up the phone. It was adorable. Did I mention you used a purple glitter ink pen? Dweeb.

I really did try to write back as soon as possible, but I ended up taking three days to respond. Do you know how hard it is to write letters when you're dyslexic? It's like trying to force alphabet soup to make simple sentences with just your mind. It's hard.

After I sent it, I got a letter the next day. Apparently your rich ass paid one-day shipping for the both of us. Ducking. Dweeb.

Anyway, eventually I found a café near my house where they had free wifi. They sold these kick ass little desserts too, mini cheesecakes and cookies. I always think about you when I buy desserts, because no matter the time of day or what kind of crazy diet you're currently on, you always eat dessert. It's like a religion of some sort to you, to never go a day without some kind of sweet in your tummy.

Wow, I keep getting extremely sidetracked. Its not my fault you're so freaking adorable.

Okay, so I was able to FaceTime with you. We talked for an hour or two, and during that time you mentioned that you enjoyed our writing letters back and forth. You suggested that maybe we can continue until my wifi comes back in. Secretly, I wanted to tell you about the dyslexia. I actually planned on telling you that day, but...sh!t, Jordan, you were so excited that I didn't wanna ruin your fun with my weird learning disability.

I did have fun writing love letters over seas to you, I really did. By making this page, I wanted you to know that the hesitation I get every time you ask me to write out a thing for you or something similar, that it's not because I'm lazy. I'm just super embarrassed about the dyslexia. Imagine dating a total nerd who thrives on knowledge and sh!t, but you can't impress him with the smarts you don't have? That is me, 100%.

I love my little smarty pants <3 thanks for putting up with my dumbass all these years.

(Also, I attached one of your letters to the bottom of the page if you wanna read. It's my favorite one btw.)

Dearest Tom:

My love for you is enough to stretch beyond the seas that separate us. Hearing your voice gives me the strength to face the day without your presence. Though I must say that every moment without you is a moment wasted. If only I was a bird with wings to fly, so that I could find you and keep your lonesome self company. If I was a bird, my precious Tommy, would you still love me? I hope that you would. The greatest honor it would be, to act as your captive little bird, trapped in a cage where all I can do is watch you and sing to you from morning to night.

I wouldn't mind to waste away singing for you, Tommy.

But I am no bird, and I could never grow wings. So here I sit, singing to you through words that will hopefully make your heart swell with love. I await your next song with much impatience.

Your love, Jordan

(P.s. Write me back later? <3 )

~~~

I couldn't write an actual letter and I realllllly wanted to :( I just don't have the handwriting that I imagine Jordan to have, so I wrote it in text instead. Sorry!!

- Lee