I had a dream where we were completely free. No deadlines, no meetings, no international trips. We were just together, always together, without ever worrying about our jobs and our reputations.

When I woke up, it was like I'd lost a part of myself. I couldn't handle the fact that my dream wasn't real, and that we were still in the same hiding-in-the-closet-together phase. I actually cried about it. It's just felt so unfair, you know? To have such a happy dream and realize that you might never actually have it, that the conditions you have to put up with in your life may sever your one hope of ever being that happy.

I didn't talk to you about it. Your career means everything to you, why would I try to get in between you and the thing you love most? It's way too selfish to ask for somebody to slam their reputation into the ground and put a relationship before their career.

You could tell something was wrong, though. Of course this was the one day you decided to hang out with me and take a break from work, the one day you chose to be super observant and suspicious of things. I played it off like I was feeling sick, but you didn't buy it. You never buy my lies, it's annoying but really cute at the same time. Blech.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"What's. Wrong."

"Nothing."

It continued on like this for ducking hours. I tried my hardest to get you to just drop it, but you knew it was bothering me so much, you wouldn't back off. As part of your day off, we watched this really cruddy Netflix movie I clicked on distractedly as we argued. Turns out, the movie wasn't that cruddy after all. Mid-way through it, you and I had grown completely silent after becoming super invested in this damn movie. The protagonist, or whatever you call the main character, was "at a fork in the road leading to his future" (at least that's what you said when we gushed about it later). He had to choose between his amazingly loyal girlfriend who always put up with his sorry ass never spending time with her, or he could choose his top college pick he's dreamed of ever since he was a kid.

He chose college. I guess the movie wanted to emphasize how important education is and all that boring cliche. Slowly, they grew apart, to the point of breaking up and never speaking again. The guy looked pretty ducking smug with his shitty ass diploma at the end of the movie, and of course they didn't even get a point of view on the girl after the break up. I could've guessed what she was feeling. The same impending doom that I had felt at that point in time, combined with what I thought I would feel later: heartbreak, worthlessness, and disappointment.

I cried. No, I sobbed. Nah, I had a meltdown. I think by then you had an idea over what I was upset about. I remember the exact words you used when you pulled me into your chest and kissed my head.

"I'd choose you any day, over anything. Even my career and my rep. You do know that, right?"

That was the fork in our relationship, the one that would either lead us down a path of complete self-destruction or carry us forward to bigger and better things.

I remember saying something like sure or no, I didn't. You sighed, hugging me tighter.

"Name the time and place."

"For what?"

"For us coming out as a couple."

Bye-bye, fork.

.:..:.:.

ITS LATE BUT HAVE A SMOL VALENTINES DAY PRESENT FROM UR FELLOW EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE AUTHOR \_(0.0)_/

- Lee