IX. I BET ON LOSING DOGS.

2019.

The slamming of hotel doors could be heard as sneakers scuffed against the smooth flooring. Pressing her back against the door was Carmen, her eyes were immediately red and flushed with tears as they couldn't appear to stop. She wouldn't let them stop not this time.

Just seeing Art again and the attempt to start a conversation that she didn't want — she didn't beg for made the feelings that she tried to bury deep down inside rush up like bile.

Those feelings were anything but sweet — since it was a painful reminder of their breakup and what was the cause of it. Now sitting, all Carmen could do was try to calm herself down but that itself was a failure.

Why did he have to be there? With her? They're married. Carmen would've been completely fine in other circumstances but this right here was her breaking point and she wasn't so sure as to how she'd be able to deal any longer.

2006.

Carmen thought Art was just trolling when he said that Patrick was on campus — maybe he'd been joking because she hadn't seen the player since he went pro. She'd just assume that he'd felt like he was above college life and went on with his. But it was surprising to see that he'd come to Stanford for Tashi. And that was one of the first times he's shown some sort of commitment.

But it's like ever since they met up and the food court there's been some sudden change in atmosphere — a change with Art and that's all because Patrick went off somewhere in search of Tashi.

Tashi just so happened to be having her big match today which meant that if things went bad it would be the talk of the campus. Carmen had planned to just pop by and watch as an act of showmanship but all the events leading to it changed her perception quickly.

"Are you okay?" Asks Carmen, her eyes locking onto Art who was sitting on the edge of his bed. He appeared deep in thought which made her look at him warily.

"Oh, um — it's nothing." He lied, finally meeting her gaze as she sat next to him.

"And you expect me to believe that it's nothing." Carmen couldn't help but laugh finding it entirely too ridiculous. "C'mon talk to me."

Art looks at her with a small shrug. "What do you mean? There's completely nothing wrong."

Raising a brow at him, Carmen knew that he was lying. Art hadn't always been the best lair — he made it easy to figure out if he was lying or not and that only made her continue, "You've been acting like this all day, ever since...Patrick came to visit Tashi."

The sudden realization hits Carmen like a truck. Why didn't she realize this sooner — it all made sense. Looking at Art she notices how he refused to look her in the eyes. Jaw clenched, and gaze gaunt, he found the idea of looking at his hands better than looking at Carmen because he knew that deep down the truth would reveal itself.

Standing up abruptly, Carmen looks down at Art. The idea of realizing that the one person you cared about could be in love with someone else was humiliating and embarrassing and it was beginning to sink in. "Are you kidding me!"

"Wait — Carmen." Art began, attempting to get ahold of her but Carmen was quick to push his hands away.

It all made sense.

"As much as I tried to ignore whatever this thing you have with Tashi. Thinking you were just having some fanboy moment — it's been months. Months! Art! And I'm tired." Carmen wasn't his therapist, and she wouldn't become his mother, not now or in the future. He could deny all he wanted but she could see — anybody could see that he has an attraction towards Tashi. He likes her. She knew it from the moment at that party but was in denial because she loved him too much. Putting on a hoodie, Carmen reached over and grabbed her tennis bag before looking at him, "I refuse to be left in the middle. It's clear that you have no fucking idea as to what you want and I'm not going to force you to pick sides."

"Carmen." Art attempts to diffuse the situation but it only makes things worse, "Can you please just listen."

She ignores him, walking past him to grab her things left on his dresser.

"You didn't care about me having a crush. In fact seemed perfectly fine with it." Art immediately grew quiet just by that. He knew he was wrong, deeply wrong and there was no coming back from it.

Carmen could only look at him with a bewildered expression. She could not believe what she'd just heard, "So you admit it? Fucking finally!" Biting back her tears she nods, "I was never fine with it Art! God are you this obtuse? When you love someone you pretend that you're fine with the most idiotic things no matter how much it might hurt."

"But thank you for letting me know the truth."

Ignoring his calls, Carmen rushes out of his dorm and slams it behind her. A small part of her hoped that he would've came out and stopped her from leaving — assure her that it was nothing and he'd been a fool. Apologize.

But it never happened.