[ Please note that this chapter has mentions of suicidal thoughts ]
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"Scientists have no explanation for what astronomers can only describe as a surprise eclipse."

"A surprise eclipse? What does that even mean?" Otis asked no one in particular, as he didn't really expect any of them to have an answer to that and if he was being honest, he was just babbling out loud to himself.

Which, come to think of it, might have been somewhat of a risky move given who was sitting next to him. Henri, aka his crush, who, if he wasn't careful, might end up hearing something Otis didn't want her to hear as the filter between his brain and his mouth didn't often work when he was in these moods.

Or ever really.

But he was working on it. Especially around Henri, who right now had automatically assumed he'd been talking to her as let's face it, he usually was, and so had taken it upon herself to answer him. Sort of. Really she was just equally as babbley as Otis was given that she was more focused on the little handheld waterfall ring toss game that Herrmann's daughter Annabelle had given her yesterday at the barbecue.

You know the ones, the little fish tank looking thing where you press the button to try and get the hoops onto the spikes. It may have been a kids game but it was very addictive. And Henri was easily distracted.

"I don't know, Brian. I'm not a weather...ologist." Henri replied hesitantly, her brow a little furrowed as she was pretty sure that wasn't the right term. But whatever. Eclipses weren't exactly her thing and right now she was more fixated on getting the last hoop onto the very top spike to care about them.

"You mean an astronomer?" Otis tilted his head, turning his attention towards Henri, who had gone a little crossed eyed as she focused intensely on her game.

He couldn't help but think she looked ridiculously cute at the same time, especially with the way her tongue would poke out through her lips a little and she would mumble to herself as though strategically planning each move.

"Yeah, that's what I said." Henri said blankly, her eyes widening as the final ring was about to hook onto the spike before it decided to float the opposite direction, making her mumble under her breath and shake the game a little in frustration. "This game is rigged."

"Or you're just bad at it." Otis chuckled, earning himself a not so light nudge to the leg by Henri's foot, a dramatic pout dropping on her face as she sulked like a petulant child.

"Okay kids, fun times over." Mouch said the second he walked into the room, immediately beelining for his spot on the couch that Henri currently occupied.

Gently, but with enough force to actually move her, Mouch pushed Henri to the side, which was made relatively easy when she happily shuffled herself over into the middle. She was now sandwiched between the two men, one of which didn't care and the other was quickly beginning to sweat beneath his t-shirt at just how close Henri was to him. Close enough that Otis could feel the shape of the many phones she had in her pocket pressing up against his leg.

Even Henri's upper arm was touching his, so much so that he could feel a slight bump to her skin, the only way he could describe it being as though she had a scar or even an old burn hidden away beneath her long sleeve shirt.

This was the closest he'd ever been to her and whilst he wouldn't lie and say he hadn't thought about moments similar to this before, it was rather overwhelming given that it had happened so quickly and without so much as a warning. So it was no surprise when his heart started to hammer against his chest when she leaned her head on his shoulder.

Henri on the other hand didn't care about the sudden close proximity between the two of them. She'd already made herself comfortable, nuzzling herself next to him and even hooking her legs over his which had him swallow thickly and glance towards Cruz, as though silently begging for help. But of course Cruz acted oblivious, as did most of the room to be honest as they were already sick of Otis's pining and were praying things would move further along.

But so long as Otis kept his hands to himself and didn't allow them to wander, Henri found that she was perfectly comfortable where she was and nothing short of the bells going off would force her to move.

"Hey, Bri..." Henri began, nudging Otis a little with her elbow as she glanced between him and the game that had caught her attention once more. Only this time she wasn't nearly as caught up in it as she had been. "Are you still getting your panties in a twist over that goat crest?"

"No."

"Yes." Literally everyone corrected, making Otis frown and Henri chuckle.

"He hasn't shut up about it since last shift." Cruz added, Otis mentally cursing him for bringing that up around Henri, and if looks could kill, Cruz would be meeting with a reaper right about now.

"Well, in my opinion." Henri put her hand to her chest, leaning forward to place her game atop the coffee table before turning to him. And offering him a chance to breathe now that she wasn't close enough to him that he could feel her breath on his skin. "I think the goat is cool. I mean, it's a fighting goat. Those things are feisty little bastards and trust me, you wouldn't want to end up on the receiving end of those horns."

"You sound like you're speaking from experience." Cruz questioned, his eyebrow raised as Henri merely tensed her jaw.

"Not the point, Cruz." Henri fired towards him with squinted eyes, Cruz's hands shooting up in surrender as he spun back around on his chair. "The point is..." She turned back towards Otis, every word out of her mouth making his cares about the goat fade away. "...the goat rocks."

"Yeah, yeah." Otis chuckled nervously, his smile widening as he scratched the back of his head and went out of his way to ignore literally everyone who had now begun to stare at him. "Totally. The goat rocks."

The goat didn't rock. In fact it was lame and half assed looking next to Cerberus, but if Henri liked it, then just throw him into some dungarees, put a hat on his head and call him farmer Otis because he was about to farm some goats.

"See..." Henri said with a smile, patting the side of Otis's, slowly blushing, face lightly. "I knew you'd come around."

"Yeah, and I wonder why." Herrmann mumbled to himself, quickly ending up on the retrieving end of Otis's glare after his head snapped towards him, forcing Henri's hand to fall from his face.

That had disappointed him greatly but he'd rather warn Herrmann to shut his trap than end up giving into temptation and kissing Henri in front of the entire firehouse just because she'd put her hand on his face. Again. She tended to do that a lot and if she wasn't careful, she was going to give him the wrong impression.

Ding.

Fumbling for her phone, and completely unaware of the way Otis's body had tensed at the feeling of her hand brushing against his outer thigh, Henri soon forgot all about goats, ring toss games and whatever Otis's problem was with the others as her eyes landed on the two single words on her screen. The name attached to them more than she'd gotten from him since before her trip to Hell and more than she expected to get, which would explain her sudden parted lips and semi-shaking hand.

Dean: I'm outside

As though she'd been poked by a taser, Henri shot up from the couch, having to ramble out an apology for accidentally elbowing both Mouch and Otis in the side with her sudden movement. She hopped over the coffee table, almost tripping over it in her haste to run to the door, the outer side of which smacked hard against the wall after she'd barrelled through of it.

Naturally, those in the room decided to follow her out of the common room, curious to see just what had put Henri into this state in the first place. And because they were nosey. Mostly that, but part of them were a little concerned over her sudden abruptness as it was the fastest they'd seen her move since the day that rubber spider hit her in face.

As they reached the apparatus floor they came to spot Henri, who had slowed down on her way and was now at a complete stop underneath the open bay doors. They had no idea who the, surprisingly, young man was that had clearly been the reason for her rash decision to jump to her feet, but by the emotional look on his face, it was clear they were perhaps about to witness yet another heartwarming reunion and they could only hope this one would end better than the last.

"Please don't be her ex. Please don't be her ex." Otis whispered to himself, him being the only one not to pick up on the familial similarities between Henri and this mystery man as he was too busy praying as hard as he could that this guy was not her ex.

If he was Henri's ex, then Otis might as well forget all about wanting to ask her out as there was no way in Hell she'd even so much as look at him like that when he couldn't be more different to this guy if he tried.

"Are you here to yell at me again? Because if you are..."

"I'm not." Dean shook his head lightly, cutting Henri off as she slowly walked towards him, arms folded across her twisting stomach and a timid look on her face that had him hating himself for how things went last time.

"Oh." Henri mumbled, biting at her lip as she closed the distance between them, her eyes looking anywhere but at her brother as for once things between them felt awkward. Her gaze landed on the car, it sitting pretty behind Dean with its paint shining bright in the sun. "The car looks good... Did you fix her up?"

"Yeah." Dean nodded as he glanced back, unable to stop a proud beam from flashing over his face at the compliments of his handiwork. He really should fix cars professionally but unfortunately for him, the universe had other plans for those who bore the last name Winchester and therefore his skills would unfortunately be put to waste.

"Henri, listen..." Dean began, pushing himself off the front of his beloved Impala and gaining the attention of his sister, who grew concerned by the seriousness of his voice. "Something happened... Something..." His breath trembled, his eyes drifting to the sky as he was having trouble saying the words that needed to be said.

"Dean?" Henri questioned, stepping closer to place her hand on the side of his arm, his head dropping back down and his eyes shining with tears. "What happened?"

"It's Cas. He's... He..." Dean took a breath, running a hand down his face which stretched out the skin on his cheeks a little with how hard he'd pressed down. "He's gone, Henri. He's... Cas is dead."

"What?" Henri's breath hitched, her head shaking involuntarily as she refused to believe the words she was hearing. "No. No that... That can't be possible, Dean. He was just... I just saw him last week."

"Last week?" Dean's tone deepened a little, his brow furrowing as last week he, the others and Cas hadn't exactly been on the best of terms, so it surprised him to hear that Henri had made contact with him, let alone seen him. And lived to talk about it.

"Yeah, he uh..." Henri hesitated, her stomach sinking as she thought back to the last time she'd seen Castiel. Back when Otis was dying and she had no other choice but to pray for him and beg the angel to heal him as she couldn't bear to watch another person die because of her.

She wanted to tell Dean. To say it aloud for the first time instead of having just written it in her journal, the page of which she quickly ripped out afterwards and burned. The only reason she'd written it in the first place was so that she didn't explode with guilt, or whatever, she was feeling over almost costing Otis his life. Only it hadn't made her feel better, if anything it had made her feel worse.

"I prayed to him." Henri's voice wobbled, her hand raising to her face where she pinched the bridge of her nose, squeezing her eyes shut to hold back the tears. She took a breath, swallowing down the lump in her throat and it was only when she felt strong enough to finish did she open her eyes again.

"During this fire... I uh, I thought..." Henri exhaled again, shaking her head as though she was trying to rid herself of her nervousness. And nausea. But if anything she only ended up doubling it. "I thought I saw... Luc... Him. And I froze. I just completely froze and Brian, he came back for me. Tried to get me to move so we could get out of there but before we could the floor gave out from beneath us. I was fine but uh, Brian... He... He was dying, Dean. This piece of wood had pierced through his chest and I could feel him slipping...

"I couldn't lose anyone else. I couldn't..." Henri's breath hitched once more, that lump in her throat fighting furiously to get out. "I couldn't let anyone else die because of me and so I prayed... I pleaded... And soon enough, Cas turned up. He looked different, seemed different, but he did what I asked him to. He healed Brian and now... now he's perfectly fine."

"Which one is Brian?" Dean asked, using his chin to point subtly over Henri's shoulder towards her new friends. The ones she knew were watching her as she was well aware of how nosey they all were.

"The one with the moustache." Henri replied, unable to stop the smile from twitching upwards on her lips and Dean being Dean, not to mention her twin brother, he was able to spot that smile. But he said nothing.

"Yeah, he looks fine alright." Dean said with a brief chuckle, one that he didn't have to force out as much as he'd have thought.

Perhaps it was just being around Henri again without that hostile tension between the two of them that made things feel a little easier than expected. Or perhaps it was because the guy his sister had saved was staring at her in a way he'd seen plenty of men stare at her before and it amused him greatly, but only because Otis looked harmless as if he hadn't, threats would be flying.

"Not exactly your type though." Dean added humorously, earning himself a rather hard punch to the arm from Henri, able to feel the band of her ring push into his skin she'd used that much strength. "Ow."

"It's not like that, you perv." Henri chuckled, shaking her head and pulling back her hand when Dean motioned for mercy. "We're just friends."

"Right. Friends." Dean nodded, clearly speaking sarcastically but Henri was going to choose to ignore it as she didn't have it in her to fight him right now. And not verbally but physically. Had she not been told Castiel was dead she'd be beating Dean's ass as we speak.

"Dean, what happened with Cas? What aren't you and Sam telling me?" Henri asked softly, her fingers fiddling with the charm on her necklace as she watched Dean hesitate. "Does it have to do with whatever Crowley was so worried about?"

Dean nodded, a faint hum of agreement leaving his lips as he leaned back against the hood of his car. He took a second to simply gather his thoughts, to sort them out and figure out exactly how many of them he wanted to tell Henri. It wouldn't be all of them, he knew that, but she at least deserved to know the truth about how her favourite angel had died.

As for whatever happened after that, it was best she be kept in the dark.

"A lot happened when you were in Hell, Henri." Dean began, his voice low as he made sure to ration his breath for what was to come. "And that first year? That was hard. Just knowing you were down there, in a place worse than even I ended up, it was tough, you know? And I tried... I tried to move on, to understand why you did it but I couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to imagine how much pain you must have been that had you saying yes and so I did what I do best. I threw myself head first into the job and I hunted as many evil sons of bitches as I could..."

Dean carried on, telling Henri all about how Crowley had offered him a proposition. A chance to take out more monsters than newspaper articles and obituaries could ever lead him to. And of course Dean said yes, why wouldn't he? He was broken. Grieving. He felt like a failure for having not protected his sister like he always swore he would, therefore he wasn't exactly in a position, mentally, to say no.

Only, things started to go off the rails when Crowley requested that the monsters be brought to him for interrogation rather than meet a bloody death at the hands of an angry Dean Winchester.

Dean didn't go into many details about how he went about that, whether he told Crowley to get lost or whether he did what he was told. But from what Dean had to say next, Henri was fairly certain she knew the answer and honestly, it had come as a surprise to her to hear that her demon hating brother had willingly worked side by side with the King of Hell in his secret attempts to open Purgatory.

And it had come as even more of a shock when she heard that not only had her brothers teamed up with Crowley, but that Castiel had too.

"By the time we found out what they were doing, it was too late." Dean carried on, the pain he felt over Castiel's betrayal present in every single aspect of his being. "Cas took in those souls and he slaughtered hundreds of innocent people and there wasn't a damn thing I could do to stop him."

"Dean..." Henri said softly, stepping forward and looking up at her brother, who was trying so hard not to break down in front of her. She could tell he was. He had the exact same pain behind his eyes as she did when she was in his shoes and she wasn't long out of those shoes, so she knew exactly how he felt right now. "You tried... That's what's important."

"Yeah, right." Dean scoffed, running his hand down his face in his attempts at wiping away his defeat. "I didn't try hard enough."

"You did try hard enough, but you know as well as I do that if there's one thing out there more stubborn than a Winchester, it's that damn angel." Henri said with a soft chuckle, trying to add a little light into this otherwise dark conversation. She lifted her hand, gently cupping the side of his face and feeling how his breath shuddered beneath it. "You can't save everyone, Dean. You told me that."

"I know... I was just hoping since I couldn't save you... That I could have saved Cas." Dean said quietly, his words all but breaking Henri's already fragile heart.

"It wasn't up to you to save me, Dean." Henri whispered, wiping away a lone tear that had fallen from Dean's eye. "I made my choice and if I had to go back and make it all over again, I would... I know you think what I did was... selfish, or whatever, but Dean, I couldn't live like that anymore. I didn't want to live anymore. And so I thought if I could both escape the pain I felt and save Sam from an eternity of torture then saying yes would be the best decision. Not only for me. And not only for Sam. But for you as well."

"Me? How was it the best decision for me?" Dean asked a little coldly, sparking fear in Henri's chest that they were about to have a redo of last time, which only grew when he pushed her hand away and walked around her, making her have to turn to look at him. "How was watching you jump head first into Hell the best decision for me? Huh? Tell me. Because I have no idea."

"Because it saved you from having to be the one to find my body after I killed myself some other way." Henri confessed in a whisper, her eyes riddled with tears and her soul crushing words stopping Dean in his tracks, his face softening as he began to shake his head in disbelief.

"Henri..."

"That's why it was the best decision. Because I was going to kill myself, Dean. I was..." Henri choked out a sob, wiping furiously at her eyes and swallowing down that which she'd fought so hard to lock away. "I couldn't live anymore and had I not done what I did, you would have had to go through life without me or Sam by your side and I couldn't allow that... I couldn't allow Sam to do what he was going to do if it meant you would have had to carry on without us and so I said yes.

"And that's why I left. That's why I'm here... Because I knew if I went back into that life that it wouldn't be long before those feelings started to creep up again and... I don't ever want to have to feel like that again, Dean. I don't... I..." Henri's words became nothing but choked sobs, one's she was trying desperately hard not to allow out into the world.

Dean was quick to pull her into his arms, allowing her to feel safe enough to cry against him. He knew it must have been bad when Henri cried as throughout their entire life he'd only had to see her cry a handful of times. Each time it happened, it never got any easier and today was no exception.

"I'm sorry, Henri." Dean whispered, holding her tight and feeling the tears that fell from her eyes soak his t-shirt. "I didn't... I didn't know how bad it was. I thought you'd bounce back, like we all do... I had no idea."

"It's okay, Dean. I wouldn't have expected you to." Henri sniffled, pulling back a little and wiping down her face with the sleeve of her t-shirt. "I've learned how to hide how I'm truly feeling, even from you. And I know I shouldn't because you're my brother but I had to... You warned me... You warned me what would happen if I got involved with... With... Him and I should have listened to you, cause you were right. And now look at me."

"I didn't want to be right." Dean shook his head, his arms falling back down to his sides as Henri stepped back, pulling herself together after her mini breakdown. "Not when I saw how different he was with you."

"I know... But he wasn't different enough and that's the problem." Henri hiccuped, swallowing hard and taking a deep breath to better compose herself. "But I have a chance to start over here. A chance to have a better life. The one mom always wanted for us and Dean, I can't go back now. I can't turn back because if I do..."

"No, no, I know." Dean interrupted, easily finding himself on board with Henri's decision to walk away. After all, how could he not be when he just heard what he did? "I just want you to be happy, Henri, that's all I've ever wanted and if being here makes you happy then, who am I to stand in the way?"

"I am happy here. And I was happy with you guys too, really I was, but sometimes enough is enough, you know?"

"Yeah, I know. Believe me, I know." Dean said quietly, scratching absently at his chin.

"It wasn't an easy decision to make, not by a long shot, but I know now that it was the right one." Henri said, her voice soft. "Cas told me stories can be rewritten, that my story had been rewritten but really I think that story just came to an end. And now it's time for me to start a new adventure. Time for me to start a new story. Here. In Chicago."

"When did you become a philosopher?" Dean said humorously, clearly hiding his partial disappointment over Henri's choice to stay with humour. The Winchester way.

"You spend enough time around Bobby when he's drunk and you pick up a few things." Henri replied through a chuckle, making Dean nod his head a little in agreement.

It felt nice, being able to be properly open around someone. To say all the things she'd wanted to say from the moment she stepped foot into the firehouse. No one could ever understand what she'd been through. Not Otis. Not Cruz. Not even Mouch, who even if he did have knowledge of what was out there, he couldn't possibly understand the things Henri had been through.

But Dean did.

Dean knew best of all what she'd gone through and it was for that reason that he understood her need to leave. Henri had lost more than any of them and if she said she was done, then she was done. And he knew well not to even try and convince her otherwise as once she made up her mind, it was damn near impossible for anyone, even Dean himself, to change it.

"Don't get into too much trouble while you're here." Dean said as he headed for the driver's side door of his beloved Impala.

The two of them had talked a good bit more after Henri's brief lesson on philosophy, but now it was time for him to head back to Sioux Falls where he had to try and figure out where to even start with cleaning up the mess left behind by Cas during his stint as God.

"I don't wanna have to hear from moustache over there..." Dean added, gesturing towards Otis who was still not so subtly watching them as he pretended to clean some axes. "That you've been going around breaking the hearts of all the firefighters stupid enough to try anything with you.

"Believe me, Dean, it won't be their hearts I break if they do try."

"That I do believe." Dean chuckled around that familiar squeak of the Impala doors hinges as he pulled it open. "Take care of yourself, Henri."

"You too." Henri smiled, crossing her arms over chest. "And take care of Sam too."

"You know I always do." Dean returned her smile, briefly as he couldn't bring himself to smile for long knowing that Henri wasn't leaving with him. "Oh and speaking of Sam... Your new haircut, makes you look like his twin and not mine."

"You take that back." Henri gasped, acting offended which amused Dean greatly, as evident by the laugh she heard leaving his lips before she just shook her head. "I'll see you, Dean."

Dean smiled thinly, nodding once towards her before he climbed into the car, that signature grumble of the engine warming Henri's chest as she had missed it terribly. She knew watching Dean drive away again would be tough, and it was, it was very tough and she had to fight with almost every fibre of her being to stay put and not chase after him. But like she said. She had a chance at a better life and she wouldn't get that by throwing herself back in with her brothers.

It would be hard, she knew that, but fifty-one was her life now. The guys had welcomed her in, made her feel like part of the family and so she knew that no matter what she had lost or what she was giving up, that she'd be okay and that she'd make it through what was to come.

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i know i said this would be the end of s1e2 and technically it was but i didn't put any of the canon stuff in simply bc i didn't want to and it wouldn't fit lol but yeah... ep2 is complete

i will be skipping episodes 3&4 and moving straight on to episode 5 and as for supernatural characters this will probably be the last we see of any of them for at least a handful of chapters as the book is obviously more focused on henri's life at fifty-one but there will be supernatural mentions and stuff so don't worry

and if there's anything you'd like to see in the book let me know, i have a lot of space to work with so yeah, lemme know