• 𝐄pilogue
A month later.
Giving birth was the easy part— the heart-stopping contractions. Sweating like a donkey and trying to push while being spread out like some farm exhibit with strangers gawking between my knees. The yelling, the bleeding. Having my vagina stitched—it didn't seem terrifying at all.
Know what was?
Having to deal with all this baby weight that came after.
I cursed my misfortune, turning to look at myself sideways in the mirror. After my pregnancy with Ryan, my body has yet to regain its original shape and for me, that was pretty devastating.
"What's taking so long?" Killian asked, as usual, walking into my room unannounced but I was too annoyed to care if he saw me standing in my underwear or not.
"What's wrong?" He strolled with lith grace towards me, and I found it ironic how he got to look this perfect while I carried all the scars and weight that came with birth.
"The dress I picked out didn't fit. I feel humongous."
"Hope." He sighed and stared at me through the mirror as he hugged me from behind. "How many more times do I have to tell you I love you this way." He pressed his lips to my neck. "You're beautiful." He trailed tender kisses passed my exposed shoulder. "Very stunning."
Icy chills danced down my spine. I flushed deep crimson. "You think so?"
"Yes, I do." His lips spread into a slow, feral smile as he ran his hands down my arms soothingly. "It doesn't matter to me if your baby weight never leaves. You're beautiful and I love you." He spun me around and pressed my body against his with a startling grip that screamed need and hunger. "Everything about you right now is perfect."
The fact that he was trying very hard to make me feel good made my stomach flutter. With a widening smile on my face, I clasped my arms around his neck and went on tiptoe to press my mouth to his. "That's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me."
"I'll say more if you kiss me like that again." He mumbled, nibbling on my bottom lip. And then, with stunning speed, he scooped me up and placed me on top of my vanity table.
I yelped when my back touched the cold glass. "Killian, my mum is downstairs." I reminded him quickly whilst coming short of breath.
"It doesn't matter." He dipped his head toward mine, his breath hot as it danced over my parted lips. "I'll be quick."
"It always comes back to sex with you doesn't it?" I teased, trying not to think about the bubbling warmth in my stomach.
"What can I say." My head swam when he pushed my legs open and fit his throbbing erection into the notch between my thighs. "It's my love language."
I squirmed as pleasure heated in the pit of my stomach. "How the hell did I ever fall for a moron like you."
"I ask myself that question every day." His lips found mine in an instant and he kissed me with hunger, each swirl of his tongue unrelenting, each one needier than the last.
I wrapped my hand around the back of his neck and deepened the kiss. A month of abstinence and we were already acting like—
"Are you two being gross in there again?" Mum's voice slammed through my brain.
Killian immediately withdrew from me the moment the door creaked open.
Shit.
"Mum." I cleared my throat, fighting for the normalcy of my breath. A light pink blush dusted across my cheeks when I realized I was still clothed in my underwear. "I didn't hear you come in."
"How would you." She tsked and folded her arms. "I mean, I don't mind you two getting all lovey but can we go get my grandson first, I'm dying to hold him before I leave."
Killian snickered. "Sorry, you had to see this again. Mrs. Sterling."
She brushed him off with a wave of the hand and smiled. "If I don't see you two downstairs in the next five minutes I'm leaving." With that, she walked out.
Killian turned to me and caressed my cheek. "I'll give you a moment to get dressed even if it pains me to do so."
When I nodded, he walked towards the door and winked at me before shutting it behind him.
With a huge smile on my face, I got to work getting ready. Once I did my hair and fitted into my strapless brown gown, I headed downstairs.
The ride to the hospital was smooth.
When we arrived, I let Killian sort out the paperwork and took the elevator up to the kid's section.
Unsightly bumps raised on my arms and I couldn't help the thundering in my chest as I neared the private room. It felt like just yesterday when I had pushed a human into this world. I remembered the obstetrician trying to soothe my worst fears by telling me that babies born prematurely had a high rate of survival and less chance of suffering long-term complications. But I didn't want to believe it.
I was frightened for my child, scared that something might go wrong but Killian made an enormous effort to keep me calm. His strength and assurance helped me a great deal and I wasn't sure I would've been able to get past these dreadful weeks without him.
I stopped breathing when the sound of a crying baby rang through the doors.
Ryan.
I opened the door and saw the nurse gently cradling him in her arms. She smiled tiredly at me. "I'm glad you're here. He needs to feed."
"Can I hold him now?" I croaked with the little breath I had left.
Her face softened. "Of course." She gently passed him over to me and I hugged him gently close.
"Hey Ryan," I soothed, cradling him softly. "It's mummy."
It didn't take long for him to open his baby version of Killian's unusual indigo eyes.
Beautiful.
I'd never imagined that a newborn baby could be so… beautiful.
Breastfeeding him was a little difficult at first because this was the first time he was eating directly from the source.
"It happens." The nurse tried to assure me when he wouldn't stop crying. "He'll get used to it soon."
I smiled at her and decided to take her word for it.
A couple more tests were carried out.
It took a few minutes for Ryan to fall asleep in my arms when he finally feed. After signing the discharge papers, we were back out of the hospital and I was climbing into the back seat as mum and Killian shared a brief hug.
"Please take care of them for me."
"I will."
"Bye mum," I said.
"Bye, my darling. Have a safe drive and call me if you need anything."
I nodded and smiled, waving as the car pulled out of the lot and headed for the driveway.
The ride was relaxing. Soft music filled the rear of the car. It was hard to take my eyes off Ryan as he slept. I'd had to watch him grow from the confines of a tube for the last one month. But having to hold him in my arms like this was surreal.
"He sleeps so beautifully." I cooed, turning to Killian but I was caught off guard by the look he was giving me.
It was that rare look. The same he'd given when he first held Ryan, the look that said nothing else existed in that very moment— as if the universe had granted every one of his wishes and I was the result.
My cheeks reddened. The longer I continued to gaze into those indigo orbs, the more butterflies I felt. "W-what're you looking at me like that for?" I sputtered, shyly averting my eyes.
"I'm sorry. I'm just—" he let out a whoosh of air and chuckled. "Never mind."
"We're here sir." The driver announced as he pulled to a stop and for the first time since we started this ride, I looked out the window to see that we were in an unfamiliar environment.
"Where exactly are we?" I asked, stepping out of the car with Ryan still sleeping in my arm.
He smiled, looking up at the stylish building with excitement in his eyes. "It's our new home."
My brows lifted. "You got us a new house?"
He nodded. "I wanted Ryan to grow up in a new environment. I researched this neighborhood and it ticked all the boxes for a growing kid."
I stared at the building, unsure of what to say. It all felt so extraordinary.
"Come in."
He ushered me inside the house and I was immediately captivated by the tranquility and exoticness it gave off.
On the ground floor, there was a custom-made garage, huge enough to house a numerous fleet of cars. On the first floor, there was a spacious modern living room with luxurious furniture and a beautifully sculptured dining hall just by the side. The large anodized aluminum windows with double glazed glass and thermal break were open, reflecting the view of a beautiful patio that had a lot of flowers and a table ideal for having breakfast.
On the same floor, there was a well-equipped kitchen that I immediately fell in love with and a spacious glazed balcony with a clear view of the shallow swimming pool and playground.
He led up the ornate mahogany stairs with rails carved and polished so that they shined. The second floor had three spacious bedrooms, one of which was mine and I was immediately blown away by the incredible bookshelf full of novels no doubt put there for me.
"Killian," my chin trembled and I couldn't fight the enormous smile on my face. "This is beautiful." To think we were going to make our home here. I loved it. " I can't believe you did all this."
With a triumphant grin on his face, he took my hand in his. "I want to show you something."
He pulled me along and led me through the shinny hallway with wooden flood made of parquetry. After a few turns, he stopped in front of the solid oak beveled door just opposite the ensuite.
"What do you want to show me?"
"The nursery."
He opened the door and turned on the lights to reveal an electric mix of colors that had me covering my mouth in awe.
Oh my...
Killian took Ryan from me and carefully laid him on the crib.
"I'm sorry if it's a little colorful." He croaked. "It's my first time doing something like this.
My heart was overwhelmed. I sucked in a sob. Crying would've been an inappropriate thing to do right now but I couldn't help the teardrops that fell. "This is all too much i... I can't-" I choked, breaking into more sobs.
"Don't cry, baby." He pulled me into his arms and softly wiped off my tears with his thumb.
"I'm sorry. It's just so amazing." I sniffed, bowing my head.
"Hey, hey. look at me," he raised my chin, compelling me to look into those glassy eyes raw with emotions. "I love you, Hope, you know that right? Before I met you, my world was bleak, empty, mediocre. It was nothing and I spent so much time thinking to myself that I would never fall in love again. But then you came with your innocence, your light, and smart mouth and you crawled into my heart and I can't get you out, I don't want to get you out." He sucked in a deep breath and fell to one knee in front of me.
My heart missed a beat. "Killian, what are you—"
He reached for his pocket and pulled out a purple Jewelry box, and when he opened it, I felt my chest tighten.
"Marry me, Hope. Properly this time." He picked out the diamond band. "I know it's not like the grand gesture that you've always wanted and I probably suck at this but I just can't wait any longer. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Hope. I want to go to bed at night knowing when I wake you're going to be there with me. I want to have more kids with you, I want to grow old with you. So marry me because I honestly cannot imagine a life without you."
I inhaled sharply, my emotions spilling over as my eyes welled with tears. "Killian..." My eyes blurred over with tears as I nodded my head. "Yes, yes I'll marry you. For real this time."
His biggest grin stretched over his face as he got up on his feet and slid the diamond band into my fingers.
"I love you, Hope." He said, choking on the words. "I swear to God I love you so fucking much."
I tried to say I loved him too, but I couldn't, not when his mouth found mine, not when he kissed me so fiercely I ran out of breath.
How long we stood there, I didn't know but his lips never left mine. And if there was anything more important in the world, it just didn't matter. Not right here, not right now, not at this moment when I'd finally found my happy ending.
5:30. 22|4|2022
Love always, Sophie. ❤
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