I was a fool.

I loved too easily and I knew this. Yet I let my guard down and fell in love with a man I should never be involved with and he had just rejected me. Or at least, it felt like he had.

What was I thinking?

Unbidden tears pooled in my eyes.

Why was I crying again?

Bitterness spread through me like venom. I sank into the bed, angry at myself for this senseless decision I made.

Did I think he was going to kiss me and tell me he loved me back?

Irritation swirled up and encompassed me in a black cloud. Foolish me; crying over the loss of something that wasn't mine, to begin with. How ridiculous. I felt pathetic and alone and crushed. How could he just leave?

With soured expectations, I sobbed, silently praying that he came back to me; that he walked right back into the room and told me he loved me too.

But he didn't.

Not tonight.

Not the night after.

And two days later, it just felt like we were back at square one.

If he'd spit on my face, it couldn't have hurt me more.

He put in extra measures to avoid me. He skipped breakfast, left for work early, and came home late in the night when he was probably sure I was asleep. He didn't check up on me, didn't ask me if I had eaten. He just stayed clear of my path and the worst part was that I couldn't say I blamed him.

I was the one who dropped the bomb. I was the one who thought just merely confessing my feelings would be enough. I felt like an idiot for doing so and all I wanted right now was to go back to the way things were before that night.

"I think you've had enough, young lady." Lesley intruded my tailspin as she whisked away my second cup of coffee.

Drinking this was particularly sending me knocking on hell's door but I didn't care. I skipped work today. I frankly couldn't focus on anything because the thought of Killian kept intruding.

"There's a lot of caffeine in that and it's not healthy for your pregnancy, it'll stunt the growth."

"So will stress and overthinking."

She pinned me with a flat look and I sighed. "I'm sorry, I know. It's just..." I sulked. "I'm not in a good space right now, I feel like Killian is slipping away from me."

"Have you tried confronting him about it?"

I shook my head. "I didn't. I can't. What if he says he doesn't love me? I think I prefer not knowing how he feels." The thought of him rejecting me stung like a sharp cut to my heart.

"I think you just need to give him some space," she advised, rubbing my shoulders. "I think he needs time to process everything. And there's also a chance that he might love you. You said it yourself, he's changed a little."

I smothered a groan of agony. "God, I'm so stupid. I shouldn't have gone to that stupid party in the first place. None of this would've happened if I didn't."

"Hey, hey. Don't say that." She reached for my hand. "This is not your fault and this baby was not a mistake. So don't ever say that." She gave me a tight squeeze. "And you're a total package. If Killian doesn't love you then he's a fool."

I released a weak laugh. "That's one way to cheer me up."

She smiled. "You're going to be fine, Hope, and you know what, I have an idea."

"I'm listening."

"I'm attending a get-together tonight, you should come with me, It'll be a good chance to get away from Killian and give him the space he needs."

I was a bit skeptical about this. I bit the inside of my cheeks."You think so?"

Lesley nodded. "Yes. I think it's a great idea."

Well, if Killian needed space to think, then I was just going to give it to him. It was worth a shot. "I'll go."

"You've been staring at your drink since we got in here." The sound of Brad's voice snapped me out of disoriented thoughts and back into the reality that I was at a bar.

I picked up my glass of whiskey and took a fortifying sip, trying to clear my head of all motions.

Hope loved me.

The words she'd spoken taunted me and my first instinct when I heard them was to shut off and pushed her away because I was fucking scared out of my mind. Things were going to change. The moment I said those words back to her, everything was going to change and I didn't know if I could stomach the idea that—

"If you miss your wife so much you can go home." Brad's voice interrupted me again and I groaned, resting my head on the counter.

What do I do?

I came to the bar tonight thinking unwinding a little would help me get my head straight and back in the game but I was still very much fucked up inside.

"Yo, what's got you somber?"

"You wouldn't understand," I mumbled, squeezing my eyes shut for a moment.

"Does it have to do with Hope?"

I raised my head and released a sigh. "It always has to do with her. Since she came into my life it's all been..." No adjective was good enough to describe the whiplash this woman had been giving me. My feelings were unstable. One moment I was hating on the world, the next I was looking at her and imagining a future. And now, she loved me.

"She's changed you for the better. I know that, I see it so you really should stop acting like you don't love her, and this living together and having sex thing could work."

I frowned over at him. "Can't we just have a normal drink without you trying to psychoanalyze me?"

He shrugged and watched me over the rim of his glass as he drowned it. "I don't know who you're trying to fool. It's clear you love that girl I just don't know why you don't want to take the first step."

Well, I certainly don't need to take the first step since she already has.

I sighed. "The moment I do and the moment I admit it, what happened with Megan will reoccur."

He pinned me a look. "But she's not Megan."

"Doesn't matter."

"Well, it should because you might not like this but Hope is a sweet girl, and she won't be playing house with you forever. If you don't sort yourself out and make your feelings known to her, someone else will."

My hands balled into a fist at just the thought of it. He was right, he had a point and the fact that he was so close to the truth made me apprehensive.

I needed to do something and I needed to do it now before I lost my only chance at a better life. 

Somewhere around the hour of eight, I was pouring orange juice into a punch cup that sat atop the buffet table and watching Lesley as she set out some appetizers.

Even if the party had already started more people kept trouping in and I was starting to think Lesley didn't understand the true meaning of a get-together.

When I was done with my cup, I relaxed into one of the chairs and spent the rest of the night quietly listening to the conversations around me.

When my phone buzzed in my purse, I dropped the plate of food I'd been munching on and pulled it out. The food in my mouth snuck into my airway and I coughed out loud, staring at the Caller ID that was on my screen.

It was Killian.

I glanced at the huge dodo clock on the wall. It was a few minutes past the hour of nine. I got up and walked through the crowd to the quiet corridor before picking up. "Hell—"

"Where are you?" He cut me, sounding exasperated.

I gulped. "Good evening to you too."

"Where the fuck are you, Hope?" He repeated, and something in his voice told me he didn't want to repeat those words again.

"I'm at a get-together with Lesley."

"Give me the house address."

My forehead crumpled. "Why do you need it?"

"Because I'm coming to get you."

Sudden chills shot through me. "You don't need to. I can find my way home."

"It's late and I'll be damned if I let you walk those lonely streets by yourself so just give me the address."

"No." I was defiant. "I'll come home when I want to."

"Hope—"

I hung up. I actually hung up on him and I felt bad for doing so but I also felt good and scared too in a way because I knew he was going to be waiting home for me to arrive and he was going to be pissed.

Suddenly feeling the urge to pee. I visited the bathroom. My phone buzzed in my hands as I sat and did my business.

I opened it.

A message from Killian popped up.

Killian: Hope, do you always have to be so damn stubborn?

It buzzed again.

Killian: So help me, if you don't give me the address I'm not going to be easy on you.

I scoffed at his threat and lowered my phone as I continued with my business. What did he mean by he wasn't going to be easy on me?

Was he planning to—

A message popped in again and I opened it.

Killian: I'm coming to get you.

For some reason, seeing the message was startling. I got up and cleaned myself, my heart thumping as I did so.

He was coming to get me?

No. He was bluffing. There was no way he could get the address. I washed my hands and walked back out into the party.

Even though I relaxed back into the atmosphere, I still couldn't stop thinking back to Killian's text so to distract myself I started up a conversation with a few women who were also expecting but it didn't work because I still thought of Killian. I picked up my phone, then tossed it back into my purse. I repeated the motion ten times before eventually giving up.

When they left, I sighed and rested my hips on the counter, looking around at the messy room that had empty bottles laid on the ground, waiting for someone to trip over them. I almost was a victim once. I straightened and walked to the table for another punch glass. That was when Lesley approached me. "Mayday, mayday, your husband has arrived and is approaching."

"Stop with the teasing Les." I laughed softly, dropping my glass and turning around, and the moment I did, my heart stopped.

At first, I thought my vision played tricks on me so I blinked once, or twice but he was still there.

Oh my God.

My heart started beating out of control at the sight of Killian walking toward me, looking stunning as he did so.

"Shit, what do I do?" I panicked.

"Well, he's no longer avoiding you so go talk to him," Lesley said and walked away before I could reply.

Shit, he was coming. My stomach twisted into knots with every step he took closer to me and the moment he stopped in front of me, I couldn't tell if he was angry or pissed. His eyes gave out no emotion. "Has anyone ever told you you're a goddamned stubborn woman?"

"I told you not to come." I narrowed my eyes, pretending that the smell of his signature cologne did not nearly do ruin to my insides.

"Let's go home." He urged, grabbing my hand but I snatched it back and stood rooted in place.

"How did you find me?”

"I tracked your cell phone."

Oh, of course, he did. Stalker pro max.

"We should leave." He insisted, grabbing my hand again but I yanked it away.

"I thought you were doing all you could to avoid me? Why do you suddenly care?"

His mouth pressed into a hard line, and he sighed heavily. "If we're going do this, let's not do it in public. For the last time, we're leaving." He grabbed my hand and this time, I couldn't pull away.

He led me right out of the party and into the red sports car he drove.

"You're so overbearing." I huffed when he finally let me go but he ignored me and got into the car.

He didn't say a word to me as we drove back home. I stayed silent, staring out the window the whole time and trying to gather my thoughts. When we arrived home and we both stepped into the house, I decided this was enough.

He was about to walk up the stairs when I called out his name. "Killian, you're confusing me."

He stopped and turned to me and I continued. "You've been ignoring me for the past two days and then suddenly you're interested in my whereabouts and coming to pick me up even when I told you not to."

He sighed. "I told you. I've been busy. I wasn't ignoring you."

I chuckled bitterly. "That's real smart of you."

He ran his hand through his unruly hair. "Hope, things haven't been easy for me."

"And you think it has for me?" His lips pursed and he just stared at me. I moved forward. "I love you, Killian."

He groaned. "Stop saying that."

"No, I won't. I love you Killian and not just because we're having a child together but because I actually do love you, and Ignoring me isn't going to change it. Pushing me away isn't either. I'm not your past. I'm not going to break your heart or hurt you." For some reason, my eyes were glassy with tears. I hated that I couldn't have a single conversation with this man without breaking down and getting emotional.

"But I'm not going to force anything anymore. If you don't love me, that's fine. If you want to keep ignoring me, that's also fine." I sniffed. "I'm not going to force anything. I'll let you share when you want to, and let us turn into whatever we're going to turn into." I sniffed again. He wasn't saying anything, just staring at me, making me feel like a fool all over again. I picked up my purse. "I'll just go to my room now."

I headed towards the stairs and was just about to walk past him when he caught my hand and pulled me back. Startled, I released a little gasp, hands on his chest as I gazed into his eyes. They were unreadable and I was scared; scared that when he opened his mouth to speak, it was going to break me. But then he spoke. "Tomorrow..." He was hesitant.   "Tomorrow let's have dinner out." He paused. "I'll treat you to a fancy meal and then tell you everything you want to know."

I fed him in silence for a minute, a drop of tears sliding down my cheek as I just stared at him and then nodded, seemingly losing the ability to speak.

"For now, please stop crying."

Ever been in a situation when you felt like crying but didn't and then someone automatically says something that triggers all your tears? I was having that moment right now.

"I'm sorry." I sobbed, not sure why I was crying. "I can't help it."

"Come here." The distance between us was gone and his arms came around me. I buried my face against his chest, my tears soaking his shirt. My hormones sucked.

"This is what it feels like having a cry baby as a wife." He murmured, softly stroking my hair and I laughed at that, even as the tears kept flowing.

"You don't have to point it out." I rose from his chest and looked up at him.

"I do." A smile etched on his face as he touched my cheek and brushed the remains of my tears away, and then his lips touched mine in a kiss that was different, slow, gentle.

My arms came around his neck and pulled him to me. Even though his words didn't contain the three words I hoped to hear, in many ways, it felt like it did.

Now, all I had to do was wait for tomorrow.