The loud noise that resonated from somewhere in the house violently yanked me out of my impromptu nap on the couch and the words. "100!" Flew right out of my mouth as I rolled off and fell face-down to the ground.

Fuck. I groaned, using the coffee table as leverage to get my sore self back up. My eyes blinked a few times and without a doubt, I knew I'd slept too long.

Crap.

Still trying to process exactly how I had fallen asleep, I dug my phone out from underneath me to check the time but a message sent by Hope twenty minutes ago popped up on my screen.

Hope: I'll be home soon. Please bath the kids.

A bath?

Shit. The kids. I sprung up from the couch, neglecting my still hurting ankle as I hustled towards the base of the stairs. "Oliver! Lilith!"

No one answered. The house was quiet. Too quiet.

"Oliver! Lilith!" I bellowed again and waited, but silence filled the house.

"Oliver! Lilith!" I figured they'd turn up in a few minutes, but it was way past that, and no voices sounded.

Where the hell were they?

I rushed up the stairs and started searching through all the rooms, a million thoughts running through my head as I did it.

How the hell was I supposed to explain to Hope that I lost two kids while taking a nap?

"Hey, kids!" I continued to yell as I searched the room, looking like a limping maniac.

"Lilith!" I opened the drawers in the playroom. Still nothing.

I searched the kitchen cabinets or anywhere else I was sure they could fit into. Shit.

I barged into my own room. Why the hell would they be here?

I forked my hair in frustration, just about walking out when I heard the sound of a girly giggle.

"Lilith?"

My open closet rattled. I took a self-conscious step back and watched as she crawled out with a triumphant grin on her face.

I leaned forward, placed my hands on my knees, and sighed with relief. She looked unhurt and in perfect shape. Although the red lipstick slicked all over her mouth was a bit questioning.

"What's that on your lips?" For some reason, I needed to be clear it wasn't Oliver's blood.

"It's aunty Hope's lipstick."

I crossed my arm over my chest and glared at her. "You were in her room?"

She blinked innocently in a way that would've been cute if I wasn't so annoyed and exhausted and in pain. Speaking of pains. There was one pain in the ass still missing.

"Where's Oliver?"

The puckish grin that etched over her face told me exactly what I wanted to know.; that fucker wasn't up to anything good. "He's playing with the buzz buzz thing in aunty Hope's room."

My brow arched. "The buzz buzz thing?"

"Yes, the buzz buzz."

What the hell did she mean by the buzz— My eyes widened at the realization of what she'd meant.

Jesus Christ. These kids were going to be the death of me.

"Oliver?!" I bellowed, racing out of my room and into the hallway with Lilith giggling behind me. "Oliver!" I barked and barged into Hope's room but my legs came to a sudden halt at the sight in front of me.

He was standing on top of her contour table, looking like a demented child Joker with Hope's red lipstick slicked across his mouth and her blush powdered all over his face. And why was he naked?

"Look, uncle Uncle Killian!" He pointed the pink buzzing vibrator at me and I swear to God, I almost passed out. "I found a wand!"

One day, when he grew, he was going to look back at this day and cry.

"Give me that!" I stormed towards him and yanked the vibrator before turning it off. "The bathroom now!"

"Bath time!" Lilith squealed behind me. "Oh oh oh! Do I get a bath too, uncle Killian?!" She was pulling on my shorts and if I didn't answer sooner I was going to be as naked as Oliver.

"Yes yes! You get a bath."

"Bath time!" They both squealed and tore into Hope's bathroom with the speed of a fox.

It's alright Killian. This is going to be over soon. Even if you have no idea how to bathe kids, you can still do this.

There was sourness in the pit of my stomach as I marched into the bathroom and closed the door behind me.

Lilith stared at me, both hands raised over her head like she was waiting for me to undress her. With efficient motions, I stripped her off her undies before plucking her off her feet and placing her in the tub next to Oliver.

"I can do this." I prepped as I knelt beside the tub and grabbed a washcloth.

Ten minutes later and I realized I couldn't do this.

I was on the verge of running mad, teetering at the edge of hell, so close to drowning these two in the pool of water. Speaking of the pool of water, my floor was soaked with a shit load of it.

"Splash! Splash!" Lilith screeched, slapping her hands in the water and squirting it all over me.

"Stop it with the water!" I snapped, trying with every fiber to keep my cool as I grabbed more hand towels and soaked them on the floor.

I still couldn't believe people willingly had kids. No wonder mothers never wanted sex. Who would crave an orgasm after having to take care of such monsters all day?

A splash of soapy water hit my face again and I momentarily went blind. "Splash!" Lilith screeched again. "Uncle Killian bathe with us!"

"No! Stop!" I pushed my hand up and wiped my wet hair away from my face. My eyes burned. "Please stop." I had resulted to begging but they ignored me and continued to dabble, chattering endlessly and splashing water like I wasn't even there. And then, Oliver reached down between his legs and grabbed his penis, swinging it back and forth. "Pee-pee! I have a pee-pee and Lilith has a vee-vee!"

Where the fuck do these kids learn these things?!

I laughed, I actually laughed. Like a person turning insane. Just like the joker, I was going fucking mad.
My day couldn't get any worse. I was sure of it. My day— the bedroom door opened.

Hope was back.

Shit.

"Oliver?" She called and his eyes lit up.

"Aunty Hope's back!" And now they were singing in excitement while I groaned and gave up on the bathroom floor, feeling like the failure I was.

The door clicked open and they both began to splash more water like they had seen Santa Claus.

I could feel her presence behind me but I just couldn't look at her. I didn't want to because I was mortified that she'd witnessed my moment of humiliation.

"Hey kids, I see you're having fun." She said and I could very well note the sarcasm in her voice.

"Yes yes, we are!"

"And uncle Killian seems like he's having fun too."

Was she trying to make fun of me?

When turned around and our eyes met, I didn't fail to notice the unmistakable pain present underneath them.

"I tried my best," I said, my voice kept low and somewhat gruff.

"I'll take it from here."

I got up. I needed to get outside. Away from these children, away from the woman who'd seen what a
terrible father I was likely going to be. Without a word, I walked past her, leaving all of them inside there and heading to my room.

I didn't have dinner that night. I'd lost my appetite. I stayed huddled in my room, going through the prospectus Cleo forwarded to me.

The kids kept on dabbling around the house and a part of me wondered if Hope needed my help. I shook my head. She probably didn't. She seemed cut out for this whole parenting thing and I was the one still reluctant in accepting the reality.

"Uncle Killian?"

I nearly jerked out of bed when I heard a whisper of my name.

I looked away from my laptop and saw Lilith poking her little head into my room.

I cleared my throat. "Are you lost? The playroom is the other way."

She shook her head and pushed out her hands. "I brought you cookies."

My heart clenched and I was tongue-tied for a moment, simply blinking at her, and she must have taken it as an invitation because she stepped into my room and bounce over to my bed.

"You didn't join us for dinner so I saved this piece of cookie for you." She was about to hand it out to me when Oliver stepped in with his share of cookies and a big grin on his face. "I brought cookies."

I stared at both of them, my gaze snapping from one face to the other. I closed my laptop. I didn't know how I was supposed to feel about this but I knew something was spurring all over my body.

"I brought mine first," Lilith stated. "He'll eat mine."

"No, he won't." Oliver shot back at her.

"Yes, he will!"

"No, he won't!"

"Yes, he will!"

"No, he won't!"

"Kids." I cut them, trying to hold back my smile. "I'll eat both cookies okay, no fighting."

Long story short, they ended up falling asleep in my room and I carried them both over my shoulder to the playroom for bedtime.

"Uncle Killian..." Lilith moaned, stirring with her eyes closed.

"Alright, get some sleep."

"Uncle...mhm...Kill..." She trailed off and drifted back into sleep. I tucked the blanket over their shoulders and turned off the lights before walking out and back to my room.

Those two kids had managed to stir a reaction in me that I couldn't explain.

Expelling a sigh, I padded back into my room and was surprised to see Hope sitting on my bed. 

We both held each other's gazes as I stood by my door, half in, half out.

"Are the kids in bed?" She asked me softly while readjusting the spaghetti strap of her nightdress that slipped off her shoulders in a very sexy, very tempting manner.

I shook my head at the thought. I didn't know if that motion was meant to tease me but I simply nodded and walked to sit down on the bed.

"You were good with the kids today." She praised, placing her hand on my shoulder and squeezing softly. "Does your ankle still hurt?" 

I bit my cheek and shook my head.

She smiled at me, squeezing my shoulders again.

"Does this mean you're not mad anymore?" I looked down at her. She was wearing her red satin nightdress tonight. It was my favorite. She knew this. She also knew it was a turn-on for me and she knew I wouldn't be able to resist her in it.

She stared at me for a second and then reached for the strap of her nightdress. "It means..." She pulled them down and they fell, revealing those pert nipples to me.

Blood rushed to my cock.  Fuck. I smiled, like an idiot, a full smile stretched on my face because I knew exactly what she wanted and I wasted no time in descending on her mouth with a hunger that I felt firing through my vessels.

This woman was going to be the death of me.