I inhaled a sharp breath, feeling sick to my stomach as I prepared for the biggest show of my life, and tried to pretend I didn't feel empty.

"You need some color in your cheeks you're almost as white as your dress." my mother, who'd flown over along with my brother Scott and Lesley said as she rearranged my wedding veil. 

"I'm sorry, I'm just a bit nervous," I muttered, holding my bouquet closer to me as I waited for the chapel doors to open.

God, I'd give anything to be out of this torture device otherwise known as a wedding dress that I had been primped into.

I had to suck in my belly and I feared for the safety of my baby. I know I shouldn't have worn it but I couldn't bring myself to tell Gwen I hated the dress because she spent so much time trying to get it for me.

"Oh it's okay to be nervous, we all are. I'm just happy to see you a bride." My mother soothed, rubbing my arm.

"I'm not," Scott whispered by my side. "At least not for that asshole."

I narrowed my eyes and smiled gently at my mother. "I bet you never thought you'd see me in a white dress."

"I had my doubts," she teased, "but I always knew you might surprise us in the end. And you did."

"Do you think I'm making the right decision?"

"No," Scott answered for her but I ignored him again and focused on my mother.

She chuckled. "It's a little late to reconsider, don't you think?"

I sighed. "It might be too late to do anything about it, but it's never too late to wonder."

"I think you're making the right decision. Killian seems a nice man. Honorable too. I can tell he loves and respects you and wouldn't do a thing to hurt you."

"The irony." Scott gruffed and mother laughed.

"Ignore him, he's just cranky." She held my hand and squeezed softly. "I think you'll be happy. It might take time until you realize it, and you might doubt yourself at first, but you'll be happy. Just remember that it takes time."

"And if he ever hurts you, I'll rain hell down on him," Scott added.

I laughed. "Thanks, mum." I turned to him with a smile. "And thank you, Scott."

Although their words didn't make me feel better, they did give me something to think about when the chapel doors opened to reveal an impeccably decorated church hall packed with people I barely recognized.

The soothing classical music that once played stopped, and all heads turned our way as the opening to the bridal chorus started to play.

I gripped my bouquet, walking down the aisle with my family by my side.

To say I wasn't nervous was an understatement. My palms were sweaty, my heart was beating fast, and to make it all worse, when I risked a glance at Killian, he was staring solely at me, it was intense, almost as if he'd admired me.

Goosebumps shot up on my skin. Even when I looked at him, he didn't pull his gaze away. He just stood there, watching me with his dark eyes, and then when I neared, he ran a hand down his three-piece tux as though he was nervous.

When we reached the peak, Scott gave me a light squeeze and a small hug. "Last chance to bail." He whispered and kissed my cheek before turning to place my hand in Killian's with a scowl on his face.

Thankfully no one noticed.

Once they both walked away and settled in the front pew next to Lesley and Maria and a few other acquaintances, I finally turned to face Killian.

"You look beautiful." He murmured with a smile that didn't reach his eyes. But I didn't care. I just wanted this phase to be over.

He didn't love me. I didn't love him. And the sooner we got what we wanted out of this deal, the happier we'd both be.

"I can say the same for you." I smiled back, pushing away my panic as the priest stepped forward and began his sermon.

The rest of his words blurred in a rush as he began to speak. I didn't care to listen, I just focused on my thumping heart and the realization that my life was never going to remain the same. And I remained in my labyrinth of despair until it was time to concede the lies and recite our vows.

"Killian and Hope, if you are ready to step into the circle of matrimony, assuming all its rights, obligations, and abundant joys, please so indicate by joining hands." 

Killian turned, his indigo eyes piercing into mine as he took my hand into his and squeezed gently. 

The priest smiled. "Do you, Killian, Vaughn Fobster, take this woman, Hope Rosabella Sterling, as your wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. Do you promise with all your heart to honor this vow till death do you part?"

"I do," he said, his eyes glued to mine as he pushed the delicate platinum ring into my finger.

"And do you, Hope Rosabella Sterling, take this man, Killian Vaughn Fobster, as your husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. Do you promise with all your heart and soul to honor this vow till death do you part?"

I took the ring from the bearer and stared at Killian. He waited for my answer, his face calm like he knew I couldn't bail even if I wanted to. 

Pushing past all the screaming thoughts blurring in my mind, I reached deep for an answer and let the words leave my lips. "I do..."

"Now that the two of you have joined hands and placed the rings on each other's fingers in the presence of your family and the church, you have declared your eternal love for each other, therefore, by the power vested in me by the most heavenly Father and the court of law, I hereby on this day pronounce you husband and wife." He paused and looked at us both. "Killian, you may now kiss your bride." 

His eyes never left mine as he swooped an arm around my waist and merged my lips with his in a calculated kiss that sent the congregation fussing with applauds.

We were done. Finally.