"Of course, he's going to be there." Lesley's voice rang through the cell phone's speaker. "Why else would his mother invite you."

"I don't know." I shook my head, glancing from the phone that was sitting on my bed to my reflection in the mirror.

The dress was a nice fit and gave me a presentable shape even though my seven months old belly protruded forward.

"What are you going to do when you see him?"

Lesley's question made me pause. Since last night, my body vibrated with tension over the thought of seeing Killian again but now that I thought about it, what the hell was I supposed to do when I saw the father of my child who claimed he loved me but nearly exterminated me in bed?

I shook the unwanted memory away. If I wanted to be logical I would've returned to him a long time ago because having a baby alone was terrifying and being pregnant with a broken heart was worse.

But I didn't want to be logical. I wanted to be emotional and selfish. I was simply going to—

"You're going to run away aren't you?"

She took the words right out of my mouth.

"That's the only thing I can do," I muttered. "I don't think I'm ready to go back to him yet and I know he's going to try to convince me otherwise today which is why I don't want to go but I have to."

"Why don't you just listen to what he has to say?"

"Sometimes I don't get you, Lesley. Are you for me or against me?"

She sighed. "I just want what's good for you. I've been following him up for the past month, that man's a mess."

"And you think I'm not? Lesley, I live in a studio apartment with a butcher and a Vietnamese monk as neighbors, and don't even get me started with the roaches I share my food and space with."

"Hey hey, I'm just saying." She returned. "You're both messed up."

"I'll get over it," I assured her, slicking the deep pitch across my lips and blotting it out with a tissue. "So will he."

When I disconnected the phone, my mind railed around what she'd said and the thought of Killian moving on made an awful emotion come over me like poison. It was so painful that I dismissed it immediately and got up.

The dainty, pale, malnourished image in front of me looked presentable enough. I ran my fingers through my hair, thankful that for once in my life, it stayed in place.

I pushed the phone into my purse, fitted my legs into my two-inch heels, and tried to quell my feelings and pull a mask over myself before I stepped out.

Outside, there was a car waiting for me and a man standing beside it. I didn't need to enquire since it had the Fobster emblem on it. He opened the rear door of the car and I climbed into the back.

As we headed out onto the main road, I stared blankly out the window, desperately trying to keep my emotions banked and at bay. I couldn't afford to ruin this. I could do this. I was not going to have a breakdown. I was not going to cry.

The traffic was light. In no time, the car came to a final stop.

"We're here, miss."

When I thanked him and stepped down, I looked up at the towering building and brushed my hand nervously over my dress.

One of the security officers who had recognized me led me up the elevator and whisked me through a few halls to where her lodge was.

I sucked in a deep breath before entering, half expecting to see Killian waiting for me but he wasn't there.

"Oh, you've arrived," Mary gleamed, turning away from her mirror. "You have no idea how worried I've been."

I hadn't thought anyone would care about me after I left Killian. "I'm sorry."

She waved her hand at me. "Oh, it's fine. How have you been? You look too thin, are you eating properly? is your new apartment safe enough?"

I managed a rueful smile. "I'm fine, Mary. And thanks for the dress and shoe."

She smiled and rubbed my arm. "It's the little I could do." Her eyes lowered to my bump. "How's the baby?"

"It's fine. Better than I expected."

"It's remarkable. You're very fortunate. When I was carrying Eve, I was sick every single day."

"I'm sorry about that."

"Oh, it's fine. I'm just so pleased you're carrying my step-son's child and he's going to be a father soon." She impulsively squeezed my hand. "Poor thing, you look so pale. Are you sure you're okay in that place? I can talk to Killian and—"

"Oh no please don't." I stopped her.

She released a sigh. "You're still mad at him, aren't you?"

I lowered my head and nodded.

"How are you two going to work things out if you don't talk things over?"

I opened my mouth to argue but the words got stuck in my throat. I cleared it. "I don't think we're compatible with each other. We don't fit."

"You've only known each other for months my dear, there's still a lot to learn and determine if you both fit or not." She rubbed my arm encouragingly. "If you really love my stepson, you'll give him a chance to fight for the family he wants to build with you. Everyone deserves love. You both do."

I simply smiled. "Your words are always encouraging."

She waved me off with her hand and smiled. "You're my favorite girl and I'm fighting for this because I know you both care for each other. I wouldn't if I didn't think so." She patted my hand. "There's a lot of food if you're hungry. You can take as much as you want okay."

I smiled, parting my lips to speak but a sharp needle sensation pricked my body from head to toe when the door shut open and Killian's voice rang over.

"Mother, I don't think this tie will —" he paused and drew a step back, his eye going wide. "Hope."

My mouth dried. It was him. And Lesley was right, he looked utterly like a mess and I thought I would be unbreakable when I saw him again but the sight of his pale face and the wounded look in his eyes jabbed stab wounds all over my heart.

A thick silence pressed between us as we stared at each other, drinking each other, reliving that night. It had been a month but just staring at him made my backside ache.

Mary cleared her throat. "I guess I should give you two a moment of privacy." She rubbed my shoulder softly before walking out, and the minute the door closed behind her, I felt a squeezing in my gut.

Killian moved forward, a sad smile resting softly on his lips. "You came, I didn't think you'd—"

"Do not mistake me honoring your mother's invitation with forgiveness for what you did." I cut him, the aching in my chest growing to measurable lengths. "I did not come here for you so don't let it get to your head."

The smile disappeared, replaced by something else. Guilt. "Hope you don't—"

I couldn't do this.

"If you'll excuse me." I cut him once more and turned my face away as tears glossed my eyes. I couldn't do this. There was too much inside of me, too many emotions and my hormones did nothing to help me curb them.

"Hope wait!" He yelled after me as I walked out but I didn't stop.

I thought I had it under control but I didn't. I bolted for the bathroom and locked myself in one of the stalls as all the emotions I was desperately trying to keep inside spilled out.

He always appeared put together, but as he stood in front of me, he looked damaged, torn with anguish. It felt good.

God, I couldn't do this. I rolled a hand full of tissue and dabbed my face.

I was tougher than this. I wasn't going to fall apart over a man that hurt me.

Drawing in a deep breath, I got up, tossed the tissue into the toilet, and rinsed my hands before walking out.

The ceremony already hit off with full force and I did my best to avoid Killian even if he'd made several attempts to talk to me.

Albeit, when he wasn't trying to get my attention, I was watching him. Sometimes he stood alone drinking and looking around, other times he was thrown into conversations with the women who flocked around him. They blushed and giggled even if he said nothing.

I'd had enough so I looked away and busied myself with helping Mary with the distribution of gifts.

By the time I glanced back at the crowd, he was nowhere to be found. It was probably best.

Mary finished her speech and the crowd broke into applause. Everyone stood up, cameras flashed, and people cheered. I took that as a cue to excuse myself for much-needed fresh air.

I wove between the round tables and exited the room to a balcony. When I reached and pushed the doors, I paused in my tracks.

Killian was there.

He turned around immediately and caught my eyes.

"Hope..." He walked towards me with deliberate slowness as though trying not to scare me away.

"I didn't know you were here." My heart thundered in my chest. I turned around to leave.

"Please wait."

His words stopped me. I turned, my hand still on the handle. "Why?"

"I want to talk."

"We have nothing to talk about," I stated, lacing my voice with all the disdain I could mutter.

"Please hear me out."

I laughed humorlessly. "I remember telling you this same thing some time ago. What was your answer? Oh, I remember. There is nothing on this earth that will matter enough for me to waste even ten more seconds of my time with you so go back inside. Does it ring a bell?"

Guilt shimmered in his eyes. "I know what I said and I'm sorry but I can't leave you alone. I'm worried and it seems I have a good reason to be. Have you been eating?"

I let the handle go and propped both hands on my waist defensively. "That's none of your concern anymore."

"Whatever you do is my concern and you know it. You're tin and pale."

I tried not to let my composure waver even if his words caused a flutter in my stomach. "I don't know what's it to you. Besides, like you're one to talk. Look at you, you look like you just survived death."

He closed his eyes in frustration and ran his hand through his hair. "I don't want to fight with you."

"Then don't." I spat. "And please stop pretending that you care. It's making me sick to my stomach."

"I do care and I know I fucked. I hurt you and for the last month, I've been nothing but a mess. I'm sorry, Hope. I need you back. I miss you."

His words set a small detonation of pain inside me that I pushed away instantly. "Why? Because I'm pregnant for you?"

"Because I have feelings for you."

My heart stuttered.

"Deep hurting ones," he continued, clutching his chest hard to show me just how much it hurt. "It aches so much that I think it might bleed." He stared straight at me, feeding me with his sincerity, forcing me back into the space I ran away from a month ago. "And believe me you, I've tried. I've tried to push it away but it just won't go."

My skin flushed with heat. I didn't want to fall so easily for his words. I clenched my fist. "Try harder and it'll leave."

He took a breath in and his body shook as he released it. "It's not that easy. If I could I would pull my heart out and show you how bruised it is but I can't. I can't lose you, Hope. I won't be able to take it."

My hands curled by my side, my heart aching like an open wound. "Please let me be, Killian. I can't keep going through these crazy highs and lows. When we're together all we do is make each other miserable, all we do is hurt each other."

"We can fix that." His words rushed out desperately. "I'll try harder, I'll do whatever you want."

"What I want is for you to leave me alone. I don't love you anymore. I just don't."

He shook his head. "You do, I know you do. Give me a chance to prove it to you. Give me a chance to be what you need and want. There's still hope for us." His eyes were on mine, silently gauging me, and the tension tightened so hard I thought it might snap but then he opened his mouth to expel a sigh and what he did next took my breath right from my lungs.

He dropped to his knees in front of me.

Killian Fobster was kneeling for me.

My heart constricted. "What the hell are you doing?! Get up!"

He shook his head. "Go on a date with me."

Heat rose in my stomach and crawled to other parts of my body. "Stop this nonsense, Killian. No."

"I won't leave this position until you say yes."

My bottom lip trembled. Emotions were traveling through me too quickly and I couldn't handle them.
"Why are you doing this to me, Killian? I told you I don't love you anymore. Please let me be."

There was a long silence before he spoke. "I know you do but you're trying to get over me and I can't let that happen."

The determined look on his face made my chest ache.

"I want to go on a date with you, a proper date with you. I want to show you just how much I want what we have to work. Let me earn your love and trust back Hope." His lips pursed. He hesitated. "I promise if you don't feel anything when we're done. I'll leave for good."

My stomach knotted with confusion. "I..."

"Just say yes, that's all I want." Something in his voice lured me in, and it kept trying to break through my barrier and reach for my fragile heart.

"Stop." I choked out. "Stop trying to take away my choice In this. And quit whatever you think you're doing because it's not going to work."

He knew how to get to me. God, he still had so much control over me snd I hated it.

"I've had enough of this." I turned away from him and simply walked out. 

He didn't stop me. He didn't call out to me. I wouldn't have relented even if he did. I just walked.

And I walked.

I walked.

I walked.

Without thinking, I stopped, my hands curling into a tight fist.

I told him no because it was not worth it.

Because I didn't have faith in him anymore.

I'd laid my heart on the table for him, I'd practically handed him a knife and trusted he wouldn't slice me. He did, without hesitation, he sliced me. He had the power to hurt me like no one else did and a month ago I'd finally collected that power back, but now he was begging so desperately for it again.

Gosh, why was my body still burning for this man?

Mary's words reverberated in my head.

Everyone deserved love.

I closed my eyes tight and cursed out.

Stupid, stupid, stupid vulnerable heart.

I turned back and began to walk to him.

Maybe this was the way, maybe if I gave him this chance and he messed up, I would finally let go. Yes.

When I walked back in, he was still on his knees, his head bowed. It broke me that it took him this long to realize my worth.

"Killian." My voice broke but I tried to stay put together.

His head snapped up immediately, his dazzling eyes meeting mine.

I inhaled sharply. "I'll go on a date with you."

His eyes widened. "You will?"

I nodded at him.

Hopefully, no one was going to die this time.