Author's note:
I was supposed to upload this for the new year. But I had a terrible slump.
Tho, i missed this fanfic so much. So here I go 🥹

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Playlist:

Lyrics translation:
https://www.abcsonglyrics.com/faizal-tahir/sampai-syurga.html

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Jung Hoseok's (third limited) POV

The night's silence buzzed in the atmosphere. The warm, creamy, and sweet scent of hot milk on the low coffee table filled the air. The lights from the corner of the living room and beside the sofa were the only things that lit the room. The real sunshine was upstairs, snoring. Hoseok's buttocks sunk into the sofa with his legs crossed, and a blank mind mercilessly explored thousands of memories and worries.

The time finally ticked at 3 a.m., marking it an hour and a half since he woke up. Insomniac nights were nothing new, less frustrating, yet the distasteful feeling of a lack of sleep still lingered. He always tried not to show it during work. No doubt, his boutique had too many fools to see it.

"Hoseok?" That familiar soothing, beautiful voice snapped him out of his mind. He whipped his head toward the woman stepping down the narrow staircase. The lines on her reddened cheeks proved she had a good sleep after a long, tiring flight.

Worried, Hoseok asked, "Did I wake you?"

"No," Jiah said, shaking her head. "Why aren't you sleeping?"

Inhaling a deep sigh with a bitter smile, he breathed, "Can't sleep."

"Oh," Jiah whispered, looking still in a daze – Hoseok almost laughed at that. Shaking her head, she then turned her direction to a room, saying, "I need to use the toilet."

Hoseok only nodded his head.

As the sound of flushing broke the silence a few minutes later, the door shutting and clicking came next. Jiah's feet ruffling against the mat had him turning his head to see her approaching him. The sofa creaked as she landed her thighs on it; she plopped beside Hoseok, leaning on her side on the sofa. Noticing the white mug, she lifted her body a little as she lengthened her neck. Then, she returned leaning on the sofa with her elbow on the backrest and palm propping her head.

Lightly smiling, she uttered, "milk!"

"Yeah," Hoseok said, nodding at her. "Do you want me to make you one?"

"No, thank you," Jiah answered. She stared at him for a few seconds before breaking it with a drawl, "Why aren't you sleeping?"

In the same tone, Hoseok answered, "I can't sleep."

"Why is that?"

Hoseok shrugged with a flat-lipped smile. "No reason."

Jiah squinted her eyes, looking at him sideways and pursing her lips to a thin line. "You're lying," she said.

"I'm saying the truth," Hoseok said.

"I don't think we've ever talked about this," Jiah said, pausing after. "No secrets in our relationship."

Being stuck with him every day in the past surely had given her a lot of memories and information about himself. He better not lie, or she would give him a warning groan. Although he wished to hear that adorable groan, he didn't wish to see her sulk for keeping secrets. Jiah was a sensitive woman, to begin with.

He began, "I have so much on my mind."

Raising her eyebrows, Jiah asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Nah," the man drawled. "It's late. Go upstairs and continue some sleep. Don't worry about me."

"I'm not going to sleep unless you are," Jiah said, her intonation both strict and soft. "Let's empty that big head before we head to bed. Shall we?"

Hoseok slowly mirrored Jiah's sitting position to face her, tracing her facial features with his eyes. Her face was bare without makeup.

Her micro, soft facial hair shone in the dimmed yellow light standing behind her. Her pinkish lips chapped, begging for moisture, and it seemed Jiah felt that. Her tongue swiftly swiped against her lips. Her doe eyes stared at him, anticipatingly waiting for him to begin a story. Her – now – shoulder-length hair was slightly messy.

Hoseok reached one of his hands onto her head, stroking her hair with his fingers. "I've been missing you," he whispered, loud enough for Jiah to hear. A bitter smile popped from his lips.

"And?" Jiah droned, taking the hand that fixed her hair, and looked at him. When silence pursued the conversation, she quickly broke it and said, "Take them all out."

Their area once again took in silence as Hoseok stared at his girlfriend, contemplating how much he should tell her. He didn't want to burden her with his internal problems. Thinking that he had shown her an effort that he could move on, he also thought it would suck if his progress showed otherwise later. Especially when Jiah had a keen sense of him.

He decided to tell her but slowly. There were things hard to explain, and he was sure Jiah could help him with that. He said, "I've been thinking about appa and umma. And us."

"Hm?" Jiah's eyebrows jumped. "What's up with your parents? What about us?"

"Well –" Hoseok shrugged. "Which one do you want to know first?"

Letting out a short deep hum, Jiah then answered, "Your parents."

Hoseok nodded his head and said, "Both of them underwent therapy, and I've told you that."

The long pause that came next forced Jiah to voice out, "Is something wrong?"

"Hm, yeah," he muttered, twitching a bitter smile again. He inhaled a quick sigh and continued, "I think after all that happened –" he shook his head "– I don't know what to feel. Both resentment and love for my parents are in me now. For my sister too. I know we all suffered. But... yeah."

Another silence danced in the air as Jiah waited for more words. When no more words came from his mouth, her thumb caressed the back of his hand as she subtly bobbed her head up and down. "I'll meet your parents if that can help you. Your father wants to see me, isn't he?"

"Yeah, he is," he confirmed.

Something bloomed inside him upon hearing her words. But it came to a halt when Jiah uttered, "I'll meet your mother too." Her statement came out as if they had been finalized without a second of hesitation.

"My mother is in the hospital. I don't think she's stable yet."

"You can take me there anytime you want. But don't make us wait too long. Okay?" she said, softness laced her tone. Hoseok had to admit his cold, stubborn heart was charmed by it. The cold heart melting, he began wondering why they did not meet sooner.

Funny that he remembered his first meeting with drunk Jiah at the park. He had no plan on asking her if she remembered anything on their actual first meeting. If he would, he planned to use that moment to tease her.

A smile stretched up his lips. He replied, "Okay."

A soft slap behind his hand resonated in the silence as Jiah asked, "And, what about us?"

Hoseok's deep drone filled the space. A slow blink in his eyes before he asked, "Why do you choose to love me?"

With no hesitation, Jiah's eyebrows frowned, and she answered, "Well, it's not hard to love you."

"Uh, considering I was a difficult man. Thank you?" His words earned an eyebrow raised from Jiah. Knowing she wasn't satisfied with the answer, Hoseok couldn't help but buzz. "Uhh –"

"What is that you really worry about?" Jiah asked, squinting her eyes.

"Us!" Hoseok said, opening a palm with eyebrows lifted.

"Yes, us! But it doesn't sound like that's the only thing you worry about," Jiah said.

Once again, Hoseok buzzed. And then, he said, "I don't understand why you choose to love me. You know, I was a difficult man. You're..." he stopped, hesitating.

"I am?" Jiah's eyebrows lifted. "I am what?" she questioned.

The man's eyebrows scrunched together as he muttered, "You're too perfect for me. These days, I thought someone like Seokjin hyung or Yoongi hyung would be a good match for you –"

With a face enduring a grin, the woman interrupted, asking, "And would you like that? Would you like it if I date them?"

Hoseok's eyes and lips drooped. "Of course, I wouldn't like it. Even these days, I feel like I'm too dumb for you. After all the things I've done to you in the past, why do you choose to date me?"

Jiah snorted, suppressing a grin, and muttered, "idiot." Hoseok looked at her when she shook her head, saying, "This is amusing."

"What is?" the man asked.

"You forgot what I told you at the airport!"

"What did you tell me?" Hoseok asked, eyes widening; only to earn a thigh slap after and he yelped, "Ow!"

Nodding subtly a few times with eyes squinted, Jiah said, "Now I can see why you let that sort of worry conquer your mind."

"I'm sorry," Hoseok said, showing an awkward smile. When Jiah grunted and scrunched her nose, his lips curved up before a laugh erupted. He added, "I'm sor-ry. Remind me, please."

The glare that was thrown at him a while ago was then replaced by a soft smile. Jiah uttered, "You're always in my mind. I want to love you as long as I can. I want to keep doing that. And even now, I think it'd be best to do that forever."

Softly sighing, allowing a round of stillness for a moment before he asked, "Why though?"

"Many times I feel that I have something in you and you have something in me. When you get intensely scared, when you get sad and upset, when you get angry –" she squinted in her eyes and then, rolling her eyes to look at him. "Those feelings that you feel. I can feel them all. It's scary how painful I can feel them. It's suffocating," Jiah paused, allowing him to feel her words delivered to his mind. "That's why I want to do that, Hoseok. To save you, to save me from any pain coming. I believe that you will do the same."

Her voice and her words refused to leave his mind this time. All the worries about them mysteriously vanished into thin air. His lips curved a slow, soft smile.

"Are you crying?" Jiah asked.

Only then, he realized his throat was stinging, with his eyes on the brim of spilling something. He ran his glance elsewhere, chuckling.

"Oh goodness, you're crying!" Jiah exclaimed, trying to lift his face with her slender hands. He knew he was doomed when a tear lined down one of her hands.

Hoseok exclaimed in return, "I'm not! You're talking too long that my eyes are drying!"

"Why is your voice cracking?"

"It's not!"

"It is! You're crying! Stop hiding that," Jiah said, and Hoseok was forced to look at her, revealing his dampened eyelashes.

A silence swept through the atmosphere only to be broken by both Hoseok's snort and Jiah's brief, breathy laugh.

"Since when you speak in such a beautiful language?" Hoseok drawled as he grinned.

Jiah's eyesmile curved with her grin. "Speak a beautiful language? Is it?"

"It is," he replied, taking both of her hands off from cupping his cheeks. Both of his thumbs caressed the back of her palms. He whispered, "I love you."

Jiah lowered her grin to a smile and replied, "I love you too."

"I'm not going to let anyone take you. Not even Seokjin!"

"Even if he comes begging you? Chasing you with his spatula?" Jiah burst out laughing.

Hoseok didn't know why she laughed, but he felt like laughing too. He said, "Even if he chases me with his spatula! I don't care what kitchen utensils he's planning to use too."

As Jiah stopped laughing, a soft smile plastered her face as she breathed, "That's great."

"Do you have else anything to say?" Hoseok asked, yawning as he did.

"Uh-hm." Jiah nodded her head, chuckling. "After I reached the US, I talked with Taehyung. He told me what happened after you fired me."

Hoseok's eyebrows jumped. "What did he tell you?"

"Well." The woman paused, raising both of her shoulders. "He told me what Seokjin did to you, he told me the things you said in the office. He said you were shouting, and that was how he heard you clearly."

Buzzing, Hoseok asked, "What else did he tell you?"

"He even told me you were like a scared lost puppy when you looked for Jungkook. You got everyone worried! Just to get you to the airport!"

"Ah, that time. Blame Seokjin hyung! He sent me messages saying that you were leaving for the US and not coming back," Hoseok groused, and his girlfriend snorted. He added, "And he said he would marry you if I didn't go to bid you goodbye."

Jiah questioned, "And that was why you were shouting my name?"

Hoseok's lips drooped and muttered, "I got desperate. I was already losing my mind. It could have been worse if I lost you."

In a joking manner, Jiah furrowed her eyebrows with lips pressed together into a thin line. She said, "Kim Seokjin is evil, you agree?"

Puckering his lips and pointing at an area for an absent Seokjin, Hoseok complained, "he is evil! I'm the boss, how dare he do me dirty? He dared to threaten me with his spatula! What is it? Is it because he's older? Did he forget that I've been the one controlling his salary?"

Bursting out laughing, Jiah threw her head to the back. As her laugh faded, she asked, "Then why didn't you do it?"

"I knew it'd make me one step to Hell," Hoseok answered, having Jiah laughing more while he grinned along.

As her laughter died down, she sat up straight while facing him. She took one of his hands and swung it from side to side. Sing-song, she uttered, "Let's go back to bed!"

Hoseok glanced at the digital clock under the television that was hung on the wall, realizing the time was almost five in the morning. Talking to Jiah had definitely changed the motion of the time. "Oh, it's almost five," he said and returned to look at Jiah, smiling. "Let's go."

His girlfriend refused to let his hand go, guiding him to the narrow staircase that led to the bedroom upstairs.

"Look out at your steps, angel!" Hoseok uttered as he followed her.

Giggling, Jiah replied, "alright."