“My name is Lee Joohee. I am six years old. I like Jisoo unni, and I like Wheein unni, and I like Jiah unni too!” Joohee said out loud with a teddy bear in her embrace. This was when all of them introduced themselves one by one.

Jiah memorized all of their names but the names that Taehyung had mentioned to her last time seemed to appear as highlights in her memory.

Kang Saekang – the youngest in the orphanage. She was a year old, would be two years old in two months – simply couldn't get away from Seokjin. She had fallen asleep on his shoulder and cried when Jimin’s mother tried to take her away from him. Since they planned to stay until their bedtime, he let her to nap on him.

Tak Goo-in, the oldest child in the orphanage. Fifteen years old. His voice was as deep as Taehyung's, his height was a few centimeters shorter than Jungkook and he appeared to be quite shy.

Lee Jaeil, a boy of twelve, about Goo-in’s height. Jiah was surprised to see how tall he could get at that age and later, found out he loved to play basketball. She also heard that he would play basketball with Yoongi at the back of the house when he came. 

Woo Rowoon, also twelve, a bit shorter than Jaeil. Jaeil’s basketball playmate. It seemed that he and Jungkook were close since they had been teasing each other and calling each other silly names.

The baby with Hoseok, Kim Taehyun – a year older than Saekang. Hoseok was so immersed with the baby that he had almost forgotten to introduce him to her. When he brought Taehyun to her, he was stuttering. He only said, “H-His name is Kim… Kim Taehyung. I-I mean, Kim Taehyun. T-Three years old.”                                                                        

Pure, innocent faces filled her with a piercing brightness that filled her heart. Smile never left her face. They shared the stories of their summer. They had been to the beach, played with the water, built a mountain and a sand castle, played balls. Some of them spent their time under the tree with Jimin’s mother, watching them and eating snacks. They had done so much activity to the point Jimin’s mother pointed out they got tanner because of the sunburn. After the children shared their stories, she and Seokjin gave them the chocolates.

“Fifteen children, done!” Seokjin said as he ruffled the hair of the last boy in the line. They watched the boy run to his friends and told them to eat the chocolates later after playing.

“The kids are so active,” Jiah said, still smiling.

“As they should. It’d be strange for kids if they weren't active at that age,” he said.

She looked down at Saekang in the man’s arms. She beamed, “cute!”

“Yeah, right,” Seokjin replied with a breathy laugh. “You’re so good with kids.”     

She waved her hand down and said, "nah. I don’t think so.”

“You bought them chocolates. That’s a good start to get close to them.”

“You know, there are kids out there who can’t eat sweets or hate them. My best friend’s youngest brother can’t handle sweets. He vomits if he eats one.” Jiah let out a deep sigh.

“I like that you put an effort into getting to know them, though. And these kids, even if they can’t eat a sweet, they’re most likely to keep them under their pillow. They might as well hug it to sleep.”

Jiah giggled. “They do that?”

Seokjin nodded his head, saying, “uh-huh.” Then, he looked around to find someone. “Do you see that teddy bear Joohee holds?” The woman beside him nodded her head. “I bought it for her. Jimin’s mom told us she couldn’t sleep when she was a stranger to this place. For one whole month. She told us Joohee was scared. She often experienced nightmares about a man hitting her and a woman. Cussing at them too.”

Seokjin looked down at the baby lying down in his arms, comfortably stirring and sleeping. He patted her softly and swayed his upper body for a while. “Joohee was only four when she fell sick. She didn’t eat well, she pushed whatever we tried to feed her. Slept too much during their nap time. She got weaker every day and almost isolated herself from people who approached her. She had a fever and fainted one day. At first, we thought it was a normal fever. But, doctors told us they wanted to investigate more. Finally, we got the report telling us she had depression.”

Jiah’s heart ached the moment she heard that. A child so innocent suffered from depression? She knew it was possible but she couldn’t imagine how big a burden a child at that age had to bear. Unable to understand what was trapped in their soul was such a painful experience.

During her intern, she learnt from a doctor that a child absorbs events well starting at the age of three. It was scary how a child was able to save the horrid memory, not knowing it did not deserve to be there.

“We were worried we couldn’t do enough to make her comfortable. Amber approached and asked what she needed. She also asked if she wanted to talk about her nightmare.”

“And then?”

“An ‘ahjeossi (uncle)’ always hits her and her mother, she said. She was scared the man would find and hit her again. That man used to splash hot coffee on her just because she was hungry.”

Jiah gasped. Then, she asked, “Did you guys try to find her mother?”

“We did,” Seokjin said. He kept quiet for quite a long time before turning his head to look at her. “She passed away.”

Jiah drew her hand to her mouth. 

“We found her stepfather instead. I don’t think I want to tell you that part. The thought of that skunk makes me mad.”

Jiah got a little startled at the way Seokjin uttered his words. His anger at that wasn’t what she witnessed every day. No yelling like he usually did, but the fire in his tone scared her. Having been as one of Lee Joohee's current caretaker, she opinionated that he had every right to be mad. She asked, “what’s with the teddy bear?”

“She loves us. Amber, Yoongi and I.” He smiled at her and added, "and most certainly the others as well as you." That made her grin big. “We aren't able to visit this house every day. To give her company, I bought the teddy bear. That’s a small step to let her know that she’s never alone. She has us.”

Later, Jiah heard Mrs. Park, Jimin’s mother, calling the children to gather as it was time to go to bed. “Seokjin, you can pass me Saekang. I’ll put her to bed,” she said.

“It’s alright! I’ll put her to bed myself,” Seokjin said.

When he was about to get up, Joohee ran to Jiah with a grin and she caught her in her arm. The little girl asked, “can Jiah unni kiss Teddy?”

Seokjin’s lip curved downwards, eyebrows arched. “It’s her thing to gather her favorite people’s kisses on Teddy,” he said.

Jiah chuckled at that and asked, “where’s Teddy?” The little girl raised up her teddy bear and handed it to the woman. The woman pushed her hair behind her ears before planting a long kiss on top of the bear’s head. The next thing she knew, Joohee pulled her closer and kissed her cheek.

Joohee pulled back, looking at the woman. “Jiah unni looks sad.” Her small thumbs caressed both sides of the woman’s cheeks and said, “I love you, Jiah unni. You’re not alone." 

A tad taken aback by her comment, but she felt touched. She could tell from who Joohee learnt saying those words from. It hurt her to imagine a six-year-old girl had suffered through a lot. This harsh, cruel world did not deserve the sweet, innocent creature. She was almost on the verge of tears when she stared at the little girl, but she held back with a soft laugh. She pulled the small physique into a hug and said, “Thank you, Joohee. I love you too.”

When they pulled back, Seokjin said, "it's time to go to bed." 

“Can Jiah unni tuck me to bed?"

Jiah’s eyes grew wide as she pointed at herself and asked, “you want me to tuck you to bed?” Joohee nodded once. 

“You gotta go,” Seokjin told the woman.

Then, there was nothing Jiah could do but obey the girl's wishes. With Joohee’s hand holding hers, Seokjin guided her to the girls’ bedroom. When he pushed the door open, the other girls were already sleeping on their beds. Mrs. Park was still there, pulling the curtains together after turning on the night lights.

“Ah, it’s Seokjin,” Mrs. Park called as she approached them at the door. Her smile grew big when she said, “and Miss Jiah.”

Jiah released a short laugh. “You can call me Jiah,” she said and the middle-aged woman nodded her head with a smile.

Mrs. Park found Joohee. “Now, Joohee, let me put you to bed,” she said. Her hand reached out, wanting to hold the girl’s hand. But the little girl shook her head and hugged Jiah’s waist, her pigtails pressed against the woman’s sweater.

“I want Jiah unni to put me to bed,” Joohee said.

Mrs. Park curved a smile. She said, “make sure you sleep when Jiah pulled the blanket for you. No talking.”

Seokjin whispered, “she won’t listen.”

The caretaker was only able to release a short, soft laugh at the statement. She let them in before leaving them to check on the boys’ room.

Seokjin laid Saekang carefully on her crib and pushed a hugging pillow beside her, tucking the small, white blanket to her chest.

Joohee guided Jiah to her bed. She hopped on the single bed as Jiah pushed the sky blue, Pororo printed blanket up to her chest. After lying on her side, the girl placed her slender hand on her stomach. The room was quiet, warm with a heater on and dimmed night lights that provided comfort in the darkness.

The silence broke with Seokjin’s soft voice telling Jiah that they would be waiting for her at the hall. He reminded her to leave after Joohee had fallen into deep slumber. Since she was still in the room, he left the door open.

A few minutes after Seokjin left, Joohee whispered, "can I tell you a secret?”

Jiah whispered back, “you’re supposed to be sleeping or else Jimin’s mom will scold you.”

“Don’t worry. Mama won’t hear us.”

Anything to make the girl happy. The woman curved her lips in a soft smile. “Sure then.”

Joohee pulled her closer and whispered to her ear, “Jiah unni and Seokjin oppa look like Saekang’s mom and dad.”

Perplexed, she pulled back as her eyes widened. “What did you say?”

The girl giggled and said, “I’d been watching you and Seokjin oppa. Both of you look like a married couple. Cute, cute!" 

Jiah could feel the heat creeping through her face. She was glad Joohee’s area was quite dark. Otherwise, the little girl saw how red her face had possibly become. Throwing her head back and laughing ridiculously, she said, “where’d you learn saying these things?” 

“Nowhere.” The girl was grinning widely and the woman squinted her eyes with a light smile. She wanted to make the girl to go to sleep fast now.

“Are there more secrets to share, Lee Joohee?” she said, cooing.

Joohee giggled again. “Nope!”

“It’s time to sleep. Close your eyes,” whispered Jiah. She pulled the blanket a few inches higher to her chest and patted. Joohee kept her hand close and shut her eyes. 

It took her quite a while before the girl’s soft snores reached her ears. The slow breath from her nose caressed the skin of her arm; her small hand loosened its grip and her small head tilted to the side. 

The woman stared with weak eyes for a moment, confirming the girl had fallen into a deep sleep. Slow and careful, she sat up on the bed and removed the small hand from hers. Trying to not shake the bed as she got up, she slid her body of the bed.

After leaving the room with quiet and careful steps, she glanced at the girls one by one before shutting the door with a soft click. She proceeded to go to the hall but someone in the next room halted her walk. There was her boss with his hoodie on his head as usual, standing in the middle of the room with Taehyun holding a bottle in his arms. Another arm wrapped across the baby’s thighs, patting the buttocks with his hand. 

The view had Jiah in awe. Never had she thought she would see that side of her boss one day. She began to wonder how many sides of him that she had not seen and that, she needed to see. That could apply to the rest of her colleagues.

Who thought Seokjin – the noisiest, the one who nagged the most, wanted food for himself – could be the softest with children? Came to think of it, the side he had shown at the store might have something to do with care and concern as an adult. She could see that Hoseok was stubborner than the children. If Hoseok was a soft-spoken guy, she didn't think Seokjin would be so harsh on him. It was admiring how he paid attention to the smallest details. She found it was charming that she could have fallen for Seokjin. 

And Hoseok. Who knew he talked and smiled more with the children? The view of him putting a baby to sleep fascinated her. But the moment broke as he and she made eye contact. She showed an awkward smile, but he didn’t smile back. Instead, he made a slow turn to avoid facing the door and continued to pat the baby to sleep.

Jiah made a bitter smile for herself before leaving.

When she almost reached the hall, she heard her name was called. She looked to find Seokjin was making his way to her. Heat of bashfulness slowly crept to her face and she couldn’t control that.

“Are you okay?” the man asked.

“Yeah. I’m… okay!” she said.

“Your face is red.”

Jiah carried her hand to her face and felt the warmth on her cheeks. “Oh –” Awkwardly, she chuckled. “I sat near the heater just now. I guess, I sat there too long. So my face –” She gestured a circulation motion near her face.

She had to admit that was the most ridiculous statement she had ever made in her life.

“Oh,” Seokjin muttered, raising an eyebrow. “Anyway, it’s getting late. Let me send you home.”

“And Hoseok?”

“He and the boys are staying. You and I should go home first.”

After contemplating, Jiah decided to agree. As Seokjin walked away, she casted a last glance at the man who was lightly swinging his body side to side. The thought of her boss being reserved and the quietest staff threatened to escape from her head. That wasn’t the first time.

What changed him? What tamed him? Was this permanent? Was this temporary?

-----

     dear diary,

 I met a new friend today. her name is jiah unni. i love jiah unni! she is not scary like wheein unni. very pretty.

  she looks sad. she looks like me. no mom.

          Lee Joohee