Have you ever had the feeling to run away? I have. It doesn't go away when you get pulled from the bad situation and into a decent one. It stays, tempting you all the time to leave everything behind. It gets stronger when you learn to drive because at least then you have a radio. It's like a hot-air-balloon, ready to take off. The only thing holding it down, like the bags of rocks you throw over the side are the little things like family that we can't really survive without. Because, I know that I don't want to live alone, not really. My bag of rocks are my books, the dogs I get to interact with daily, my sister, everything close by, my bed. Otherwise...I would've ran away way before I even moved? 

Of course it's different with every person. Some just want to take off and others just want to land. Maybe you've been moving from place-to-place too much and just want to settle down someplace! I grew up in California. My parents moved my brothers and I to Oklahoma to live with my mother's parents because they were unable to pay rent. Then when we got back on our feet we moved to Washington. So. I know what it's like to be content with not moving ever again even if I still have the irking urge to want/need to run away. 

It's almost like a need for a reset button though to be honest instead of an actual need to be the new person again. Like in school, if you've had the pleasure of switching schools then you know what it's like to be the new kid. It's awkward, so that's not quite the craving I'm hungry for when I have this need. I guess I just want more of like a second chance. To fix all the things that should've worked out with people. Like I wish;

~My parents wanted me.
~My parents accepted me.
~My room had stayed safe.
~My parents and brothers understood why I had to do certain things.

Little things. I doubt this feel for escape will just go away with time, but I can dim the lights on the idea at least? Like instead of thinking 'I need to get out of here!' I can just be grateful that I'm with people who care. And just think about how I wouldn't ever go back to where I was time/place/mental state.