It was starting to get cloudy and dark by the time I had reached home, and it looked like it might rain later tonight.

I got out of the car, and looked up at the sky and smiled. I have always loved it when it rains. Especially the very first rain of the year and its smell. It's always so fresh, new and exciting. I walked up the driveway, hoping it would rain today and maybe that would make up for the shitty day I've had.

I let myself inside the house and look around for mom, but I can't find her.  "Mom?"

I hear a faint sniffling sound coming from her bedroom and I follow it. My eyes widen with shock when I take in my surroundings. The entire room was a mess, there was a shattered vase on the floor, the bed was unmade, and some of dad's clothes were strewn about the room.

In the corner of the room, mom was frantically wiping at her cheeks and checking herself in the mirror before she turned around to find me standing in the room.

"Oh, honey your home early!" she said and plasters on a fake smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes.

Why? Why does she have to act like everything is okay when it's not?

"I tried calling you mom. But you didn't answer."

"Sorry, I must had my cellphone on mute, " she said and started looking around for her phone.

I stared at her for a long moment and quietly said, "Dad's gone again, isn't he?"

She stilled for a second, but quickly resumed to fuss around, making the bed. "Yeah. He'll be back soon, don't worry."

"Sure. I won't worry, " I snorted.

"I am sorry, " she suddenly whispered and turned to look at me. I noticed her eyes were swollen from crying and her entire disheveled appearance was startling. "I am sorry, you have to go through this. I am sorry I couldn't give you the happy home you deserve. But you have to believe me that I try. I try my level best."

With her eyes now full of fresh tears she looked away and sat down on the bed. I quickly went up to her and wrapped my arms around her tightly. As soon as she leaned into my embrace, she started sobbing again, her entire body was shaking, as I gently rocked her.

"I know mom. I don't blame you. I am sorry that this is happening too."

We sat there for along time, till she had calmed down a bit. I made her some dinner and fed her, despite her complaints.

"Do you really have to take those?" I said eyeing her bottle of sleeping pills.

"It helps me, " she said as she popped them in her mouth and washed it down with some water. "Will you stay with me, until I fall asleep?"

"Of course, " I smiled and switched off the lamp before crawling into the bed with her.

After a long moment of silence, she whispered, "Do you think it's my fault? Maybe I am pushing him too far?"

I sighed, I honestly didn't know how to answer this. Dad quit his job a year ago to follow his dream of opening his own restaurant. In the beginning, it was all great, my mom was very supportive. But it was taking my dad longer than expected to gather the right crew and to set up a nice place.

Now, almost a year later, with no progress but only expenses, my mom was getting too edgy about things. She was worried about giving up a secured future, on some unattainable dream. But my dad obviously thought the opposite.

Whatever the reason it was for them to start fighting this time, I knew that it must have ended up on this topic. It always did.

"Sorry. You don't have to pick sides, " she sighed before I could even answer. "No matter who is right and who is wrong, what bothers me the most is that it seems like we have forgotten how to understand each other. We have forgotten the love we once had for each other. I just hope it's not too late to make it right when we realize our own mistakes and know how to deal with them."

Her voice was now drowsy and I knew she was close to drifting off. I didn't say a word but simply hugged her and snuggled into her side.

"I love him you know, I still do."

"I know, " I whispered. But it was so reassuring to hear it from her.

Within minutes I could feel her breathing even out and she had fallen asleep. I stayed with her for a long time then eventually crawled out of the bed, unable to fall asleep. I pulled the blanket up to her neck and tucked her in, before I walked out of the room.

Stuffing yourself with loads of junk food, until you can't think or feel anymore, is always a great solution but after rummaging all through the kitchen for over fifteen minutes I came up with nothing.

Strawberries, milk, some veggies, and a pack of beer. God, it's like I don't live here anymore!

Note to self- Re-stock the fridge!!

I picked up the pack of beer with me and wandered off to the back porch, with my phone and settled down on the steps. There were heaps of missed calls from my friends and Tyler, but none from Dad.

I set aside my phone and took a deep breath to calm the storm that was brewing in my head. I opened a bottle of beer and took a long swig, welcoming the bitter burning sensation it created.

It was windy and cold outside, but there was no sign of any rain that I was expecting earlier. I stared into the darkness, now feeling oddly at peace, with no one to witness the tears on my face on this windy night.

By the time I was working on my second bottle my phone starts buzzing. When I looked over, I was surprised to find Julian's name flashing on the screen. He rarely called so late, unless it was something urgent. We always preferred texts over calls. 

I don't know if it was the alcohol or the need to talk to someone that made me answer his call, but I did.

"Hey Ju! What's up?" I said in a tone that was a little higher than usual.

Okay, so maybe it was the alcohol.

There was a long pause at the other end of the line before he slowly said: "Are you drunk?"

"No. Just a little tipsy."

"Rough day, huh? Are you okay?" he asked, his voice laced with concern.

"I guess."

"I am sorry, I had to come down to Boston with my mom, to take care of some things relating to my transfer. So we cannot meet up at our usual place, but you can still talk to me."

"Wait...how did you know I was having a rough day? " I asked.

"Uh Tyler might have told me about it," he said and I groaned. "Look he just said that you kind of looked a little off at school, and you had a fight with your friends. Now you weren't even answering his calls, so we were worried, that's all."

"I am FINE!" I said while trying to get up from the steps, but I stumbled and almost dropped the bottle in my hand in the process. "Whoa!"

"What happened?"

"Nothing I am just cold, so I was trying to get back inside the house," I mumbled.

"Where are you? Are you out alone in the dark? And you are drunk to top it off!"

"Relax, I am just outside my house. And I am not drunk, just tipsy."

"Sure, " he said and I could almost see him rolling his eyes.

"Besides where would I go this late at night?" I said, and I was instantly hit by a brilliant idea. "Hey! You know what? I gotta go!"

"Wait, what? Where?"

"To my happy place, " I said and rushed inside the house.

"You mean that lake in the middle of the woods? Are you insane? It's late, and you are drunk for god's sake!"

"You know about that place?" I asked, surprised.

I went up to my room and grabbed a hoodie. Eager to get out of the house and out in the open.

"You told me about it, remember? It was the place you found Tyler at, after he found about dad and his new arm candy. "

"Oh, I forgot about that, " I mumbled.

"Clearly. Look how about we go there tomorrow? I'll be back in town by evening. It's not safe for you to go there, it's late and you are not yourself right now."

"It's just around the corner, and I can take care of myself. And for the last time, I am NOT drunk!!"

"You called me Ju! What the hell was that?"

"It's a nickname. I like it."

"No, you don't."

"Alright, I am getting off the phone now, " I said tired of the conversation.

"NO! Wait, okay...how about you wait for another 10 minutes and if you still feel good about this idea then you go ahead with it?"

"Huh? But—"

"Please. For me, just listen to me this one time. Okay?" he said, his voice almost pleading.

I let out a long sigh and nodded.

"You there?" he said and I belatedly realized that he couldn't see me.

"Fine, " I huffed.

"Promise?"

"Yeah, I promise, " I said and started walking towards the bathroom "Okay, Bye."

"Bye? Where are you going?"

"I gotta pee! Do you need to hear me pee?" I hissed.

"Definitely not. Bye, " he said and quickly hung up.

After I was done with my business, I splashed some cold water on my face and walked out of the bathroom, feeling all better and sober.

Ten minutes later, I had my headphones on and I was walking down the street humming to myself.

Within a few seconds, I saw a car take a sharp turn and come down the street. I shielded my eyes from the direct light falling on my face from its headlights, until the car came to a halt right beside me.

I opened my eyes to find myself staring at a familiar face. I gasp and take a step back, startled.

When the initial shock wears off, I let out a long frustrated groan, "What the hell are you doing here?"