I was driving to school very early the next morning, for the extra class, with loud music blaring through my car speakers to help me stay awake.

With all that had happened, I found it so hard to fall asleep last night, and to top it all off, every time I was close to drifting off, my brain decided to remind me of every single thing that had gone wrong in my life in the past year.

Thoughts about how I could do this life shit better kept swarming around my mind. Until I completely gave up on the idea of sleeping.

I cleaned my room and got some of my assignments done, even though the due date was still a week away.

Is it just me or does anyone else also get this random urge to get your life together in the middle of the night?

Because it happens to me quite often and then the sun comes up.....and all my nightly resolutions are left with no morning follow-ups.

I parked my car and started walking towards the little brick building with my eyes drooping closed.

The entire parking lot was empty except for a few cars, which were I guess of the people attending my class. The class had probably started because I couldn't see a single person outside and everything was completely silent. Yet I made no attempt to walk any faster.

Suddenly I felt someone's breath close to my ear before they said: "Good morning, sleepyhead."

Startled, I opened my mouth to let out a scream, but before I could make any sound, I felt a strong hand cover my mouth.

It all happened so quickly and I automatically reacted, my body instantly going into defense mode. I reached up and quickly grabbed the wrist, belonging to the hand covering my mouth, I yanked and twisted it, knowing that I could snap it if I twisted it a little more. 

"OWWW," I looked up to find those familiar brown eyes and loosen my grip quickly.

"Calm down tiger it's just me, " Tyler said rubbing his wrist.

"Oh God, I am so sorry, " I said, "Why the hell would you sneak up on me like that?"

"I saw you get out of your car and called you a few times but you were lost in your own world. Then when I came closer it looked like you were sleepwalking, so I couldn't resist the opportunity to give you a good scare." He grinned.

"You are an idiot." I rolled my eyes.

"But you went all Karate kid on me, so I guess the joke's on me," he said with a slight pout and I let out a small chuckle.

We started walking towards the class together and he asked, "Where did you learn that thing you did back there? You have a surprisingly strong grip. "

"I took some self-defense classes last summer. From an old family friend. He thought me how to fight, enough to hold my own in an unexpected situation."

Everything that happened last year with Max, made me realize one thing, which was that I never wanted to feel so helpless again. I never wanted to feel so weak again.

Every time I remember that night there is that one feeling that stands out, and completely consumes me. That feeling of being completely helpless. To just watch someone trying to have their way with you, while you just thrashed around being a sobbing mess, was like a big wake up call for me.

I trained that entire summer, every single day, to be someone stronger, to be someone better than the helpless girl I saw myself like, that night.

A sudden clap in front of my face brought me back to reality and I looked at Tyler.

"You zoned out there for a while, " he said.

"Sorry, did you say something?"

"Never mind, let's talk later," he said and we entered the class.

The class had just begun, so we quietly snuck in and didn't get into much trouble. The entire class I kept pinching my leg to stay awake. Business studies had never seemed so boring.

After a long two hour class, we were finally allowed to go. As we stepped out of the class, the campus was now very crowded. I scanned the parking lot for my friends but couldn't find them anywhere in sight.

"Hey! Will you join us for a cup of coffee?" Jace called out from behind me.

"Yeah. I could definitely use some, " I said and walked over to them. Neil and I had the first class off today, I might as well get some caffeine in my system, to get me up and running for the second period.

Tyler had seemed to suddenly disappear somewhere, without a word. So it was only Jace, Ryan, and me as we started walking toward the cafeteria.

Ryan went to the counter to order for all of us, while we found a place to sit. When we finally sat down at a corner table, I noticed the colorful posters hanging everywhere.

I squinted my eyes to try and read what they were about, when Jace said, " It's about the homecoming dance. It's in a week from now."

"Ugh. Damn it, " I groaned. I always hated these dances, and how everyone seemed to make such a big deal about them. It was a surprise that Ashley wasn't chewing my ear off about it yet.

I cringed at the thought of all the shopping trips and uncomfortable outfits, that Ash will definitely make me go through.

"Wow, you don't look very happy about it." Jace chuckled.

"Trust me, I am not." I sighed.

Before Jace could say anything Ryan came back with our coffees and handed me mine. The guys started talking about the upcoming game before the homecoming dance, and I just zoned out for a while.

Suddenly I saw Courtney walk in, followed by Tyler. Oh, so that was where he went off to.

I couldn't help the little tug in my chest when I saw them talking to each other, but I quickly brushed it off. We were just friends and he is free to hang out with anyone he wants, but still...why do I feel so weird watching them so close and cozy together?

My phone started buzzing in my pocket, breaking me out of my thoughts and I took it out and checked the caller ID. It was Neil.

"Where are you?"

"Cafeteria."

"Okay, we will be there in 5," he said and hung up.

We? Huh? Didn't Avi and Ash have their first class? I frowned at my screen.

"Who was it?" Ryan asked.

"Neil. They are coming over too, we both have the first class off today."

"Is Ashley with them?" he asked sheepishly.

"Ah...I guess?" I answered a little confused and he just nodded.

I massaged my temples, feeling an oncoming headache, and downed the rest of my coffee. God this day was going to suck. I could already feel it.

"Hey, guys!" I heard Courtney's voice as she came up to our table. I looked up and smiled at her. I made it a point to not look at Tyler who was standing right beside her.

"Veronica, it's so good to see you, " she said cheerfully, "It's been so long since we last hung out."

"Yeah, it's been long, " I smiled, trying hard not to wince at her high pitched voice.

"Maybe we all should go shopping together for the upcoming dance, " she said.

Oh God, NO!

"I could definitely use some help. You look gorgeous by the way." She smiled as the guys joined another table to ours.

Gorgeous? Seriously? I fought an urge to roll my eyes at her. I was in a t-shirt twice my size, looking like death, because of some serious lack of sleep.

But before I could open my mouth, I heard Neil's voice approach our table and I turned around to look at him, Avi, and Ashley walking toward us.

One look at me and Neil shook his head and said, "You look like shit."

I call him my best friend for a reason. I grinned and nodded in agreement.

"Well, today I am wearing a lovely shade of 'I slept like shit, so don't piss me off'. " I said and he chuckled.

"That explains it." Avi grinned.

All of them settled down, including Courtney and Tyler, and got busy with some random chatter.

"Did you hear about the dance?" Ashley asked me from across the table.

"Yeah, I did." I sighed.

"So who are you going with?" Jace asked me.

"Nobody. I ride solo." I winked at him.

"Maybe not this time," Ashley said and looked towards the other side of the table.

When I turned to follow her gaze, my eyes immediately found Tyler's, who was staring at me like I was the only person in this room. Completely disregarding whatever Courtney was telling him, he held my gaze for a long moment and gave me a warm smile. 

One smile and my heart was doing summersaults in my chest.

I gave him a small smile of my own and quickly looked away trying to hide my blush from him. Jace and Ash were also now looking at me, with a smug look on their faces.

What had changed? Why did I feel all funny when he touched me, smiled at me or even looked at my general direction?

I always had things under control.
My feelings under control.

I sighed and looked back up at him,  Maybe not this time.