Thankfully Ash woke me up early, so I had enough time to get ready. But no amount of time is exactly enough when you have no clue what to wear.

After about 30 minutes of having a mini fashion war in my room, I stood in front of the mirror and assessed myself.

I wore a high waisted dark denim shorts with a black and white crop top which had a neckline that was not too revealing but was flattering enough to draw some attention. I pulled on a  floral kimono and a pair of black-colored flats to finish off the look.

I let my hair loose and used the curling iron I borrowed from Ash, to give my hair the perfect beach waves look. I put on some light makeup and was ready to go.

Ash burst into the room just as I was about to leave and gave me a once over.

"Wait a minute, there's just one thing missing, " she mumbled and sprinted back to her room, and came back within a minute. She held out a multilayered but very thin and delicate chain in her hand. "Put it on."

I took it from her and fastened it around my neck.

"Perfect." she smiled. She was wearing a dark red colored summer dress, and her makeup was light except her crimson red lips.

"You look great, " I said.

"I know." She smiled and I rolled my eyes at her.

"Let's go,  people are already filling in. And Neil will be here any minute, " she said dragging me out of the room.

Just as we were making our way downstairs, I noticed a new message on my phone. It was Julian, and I couldn't help the smile on my face.

*Hey! Can we meet today?*

*Sorry but I'm kinda away from home. I'll be back by tomorrow evening though. Is everything okay?*  I texted back slightly worried.

I didn't get an immediate reply so I pocketed my phone and reminded myself to check it later.

I noticed that Ash had already disappeared from my side so I walked into the living area which was now turned into a makeshift dance floor. The loud music was shaking the windows and I winced. Balloons and streamers were all over the place, making the place look more festive. Despite the keg, the guys were lugging coolers of beer inside the kitchen.

Someone tapped on my shoulder and I turned around to find Jace. "Hey, you look lost." He smiled.

"I am actually. Where are the others?"

"They are at the back, setting up the barbeque."

"Something I can help with?"

"Not really." He shrugged.

"Oh come on, I feel useless here. Everyone is doing something," I whined and he chuckled.

"Welcome to the club. Tyler and Avi have mostly taken care of everything by themselves. None of us had much to do."

Just then Ash came rushing towards us, "Sam and Neil are here!"

I spun around and walked to the door right when Neil walked in with a huge grin on his face, followed by Sam.

"You guys threw me a party!" he yelled over the music and engulfed me in a bear hug.

"Yes, we did." I grinned and dragged him inside. Ash hugged them both, then shoved them into their rooms to get changed into better clothes and freshen up.

Within half an hour, the party was in full swing. Dozens of people from our school were loitering around.

As the place got packed and the music got louder, I felt the uneasiness creep in. Everything was reminding me and taking me back to that night. This was the reason I avoided going to parties. Though I would never admit it out loud, I knew I wasn't completely over the incident. And I hated it, I hated the fact that it had such an effect on me, I hated that I was so weak.

"Hey, you okay?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I answered, but of course Ash didn't buy it. But I was thankful when she didn't question me about it.

"Sam asked if you want to join us for a dance," Ash said.

"Yeah, I'll be with you in a minute. I just need some air," I said before getting up from the couch we were sitting on.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Ash asked, her face etched with concern.

"No. I'm good," I reassured her with my best smile and walked towards the back door.

Once outside I took several deep breaths to calm my nerves.  If this continued I knew what was about to happen next. A full-blown panic attack. It happened rarely, but it did happen a few times I went to a party or any place with loud music or lots of people.

I usually blamed the puking on alcohol and the panic attack on my claustrophobia.

But even self-denial had its own limits.

I can't let this ruin my night. I can't let him ruin my night. Not this time. Not again.

I entered the house after I felt slightly better and went straight to the kitchen. I took a beer bottle out of the cooler and took a long swig. Not enough to get me drunk, but enough to help me let loose. I spotted Neil and Avi with some guys playing beer pong at a nearby table and smiled.

I went up to them and yelled, "Hey, Beavis and Butt-head!"

They immediately turned in my direction with raised eyebrows, "Want some real competition?" I asked with a smirk.

"Sure. But I'm not sure who you are referring to," Neil said with a grin.

I rolled my eyes at him and called Sam and Ash to pair up with me.

For the first game, I teamed up with Ash. Turned out I was pretty good at beer pong, as I hit four shots in a row. The first game was a clear wipe-out victory for us. By the time we started, our second game, we had quite an audience.

"Come on Sam, you make this, and we win," I encouraged Sam while she tried to focus.

"Remember, I love you, " Neil yelled out from the other end making Sam blush.

"Of course you do." I gave Neil a dirty look and turned to Sam.

She giggled and shook her head, eyeing the cup.

"Oh for god's sake, just do it," Ash said, letting out an exasperated sigh and I shushed her.

Finally, when Sam threw the ball, it cut through the air and fell right into the cup. The boys collectively groaned and Avi picked up the cup to drink it up.

Both the girls squealed, jumping up and down in excitement, while I chuckled. 

Neil walked over to us and gave Sam a long kiss, then whispered something in her ear that made her blush.

"You both are so damn cute together, it's disgusting, " I said scrunching up my nose in mock disgust.

Neil laughed at that and pulled away from her. "I have to go use the bathroom. I'll see you in a minute, " he said to Sam. The dude was drunk and so was she. 

"Okay, " Sam said and gave him a small peck on the lips.

"I'll miss you, " Neil said, smiling down at her.

Okay... why am I standing here again?

"The bathroom is not in China Neil, just go." I groaned. 

He finally left and we made our way to the kitchen to get our drinks refilled. That's when I noticed Ryan and Jace in a corner of the kitchen talking about something, with a serious look on their faces.

"What's up with them?" I asked Avi.

"I don't know, I haven't seen them, all night. They just kind of disappeared for a while, " he said and we walked up to them.

"Hey! Where were you guys? Is everything okay?" I asked as we approached them.

"Yeah. Everything is fine, " Ryan answered.

"Where's Tyler?" I asked and they suddenly looked a little uncomfortable.

"Umm, he's out. Getting some air, " Jace said.

Something was definitely not right. I turned around to go find him when Jace grabbed my hand. "Don't, " he said shaking his head. "He is not in a good mood right now. Give him some space, he will come around."

"But, what if he..."

"Trust me, " he interrupted me and I nodded.

When an hour passed by and there was still no sign of Tyler, I couldn't take it any longer and I decided to go find him.

After searching the entire house and the back, I found him leaning against his jeep at a little distance away from the house. When I got closer I notice a broken bottle near his feet, and he was leaning against the bonnet on his forearms, with his head hung low and his back facing me.  I took a deep breath, contemplating what to say to him now that I was here and came up with nothing.

Maybe this was a mistake. I shouldn't have come here.

I slowly took a step back and started backing away, when I stumbled on a rock below. He suddenly looked up at me, and a frown covered his face.

"What are you doing here?" he asked in a rough voice.

"Umm, I came here to find you."

He didn't say anything for a while and I began to feel a little awkward.

"Well you found me, " he said, looking away from me.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" I asked, taking a careful step towards him.

"No, I'm not okay. Nothing is okay, " he said and buried his face in his hands.

He looked so different. Not like the Tyler I knew, he had his guard drawn up. His face was emotionless. Whatever was wrong, I knew he wouldn't tell me about it. At least not now, so instead I asked, "Is there something you can do about it?"

"What?" he turned to look at me confused.

"I mean, whatever it is that's bothering you, can you do something to make it better?"

"I don't know. Not really."

"Is it your fault? Was it up to you to avoid it?"

"No."

"Then stop beating yourself about it, I don't like seeing you like this," I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

He stared at me for a while, with a small smile playing on his lips.

A small smile. A small victory. I'll take it.

"I wish it were that easy, " he muttered, looking up at the sky and closing his eyes momentarily.

"Maybe it's not. I don't know what the problem is, I just know that you're here, moping about something that is out of your control, while your best friends are worried sick for you. Talk to them. Talk to me. Or just simply let go, because like I said, if you can't help it or make it better, it's not your fault."

He let out a heavy sigh and fixed his unwavering gaze at me. "Alright. What do you suggest I do?"

"Come in with me. Drink or dance your problems away, or do whatever the hell you want, but just have fun. Let's keep all the worries on hold for tonight, " I said and extended my hand for him to take. 

He looked unsure for a while and I felt stupid, standing there with my hand hanging in the air waiting for him to take it.

Just as I was about to give up, he finally took my hand and stepped closer to me. "Thank you, " he whispered.

I tilted my head up to look at him, unconsciously stepping closer. He gazed back at me, his warm brown eyes intoxicating, as we stood close, close enough that I could feel his breath fanning over my face. 

His hand brushed against my hipbone and I closed my eyes. I shivered when his hand slowly started caressing me there. My skin erupted in goosebumps and a need...need to get closer flooded my senses, it was unlike anything I had ever experienced. 

I held my breath when I felt his lips against my forehead, he skimmed them lightly. 

My heart was pounding in my ears as my hands curled around his arms. When I felt him pull me closer I sucked in a sharp breath and as he started to wrap his arms around me, my breathing got shallower. 

What was happening to me?

Suddenly we heard loud laughter coming our way and we whirled around in shock. 

A few people were stumbling down the way, probably on their way to the beach. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to compose myself. "We should probably get back."

I looked up at him and he nodded, looking as shaken up as I felt. I took a step back from him, but he reached out to hold my hand in his as we walked back to the house. 

We head up to the front porch and walk into the pit of drunken hormonal teenagers, with the imminent promise of making bad decisions and having a carefree night.