September twenty-fourth:-

'When was the last time you asked yourself ...what am I even doing with my life? Or where am I supposed to go from here? What next? Well, I do this more often than I like, and I always end up drawing a blank.

But then again, I think that's the fun of growing up or just life in general. The mystery. The mystery of not knowing where you will end up or who you will end up with. You just have to be patient with yourself and take one day at a time.
But the thing is... I have never really been the patient one.'

The doorbell rang downstairs, interrupting my dear diary moment. When I say diary I don't mean the everyday journal of my sob story. I mean a book where I write and vent not particularly every day but only when I feel overwhelmed by life in general. Which again, turns out to be almost every day.

I got downstairs to open the door and found Ashley –Ash for short– at my doorstep, dressed up neat and sweet like always, with a cream top to go with a cute little black skirt and her brown hair tied up in a ponytail.

She was one of my best friends; sweet, caring, outgoing, and loyal to a fault.

"Greetings and salutations. How may I help you miss?" I grinned.

She gave me an annoyed look and marched past me into the house.

"Uh, okay? Guess we are being rude today." I closed the door and followed her into the living room.

I found her standing there, with her hands crossed over her chest, as she glared at me.

"Whoa! The look on your face is making me want to apologize for the things I haven't even done yet,'' I mumbled. 

"Where's your cellphone? On mute again?" She asked.

Ah! That explains it.

"No! Sorry, I was busy with. . . something." I scratched my head, trying to remember where my phone was.

"When have you ever picked up any call promptly, V? It's so hard to reach you when it's urgent. Do you even remember what your ringtone is?"

"Ahm...no I don't, and don't call me in case of an emergency, I always tell you that. Call someone else." I shrugged.

"You're impossible!" She groaned. "Get ready, we'll leave in five."

"Leave to go...where?" I asked.

"Out. If you'd answered our calls you would know. Neil, Avi, and I have been trying to reach you—"

"Okay, okay, sorry, " I interrupted her. "I'll get ready and be right back." I ran up to my room and away from my pissed-off best friend before she could breathe fire.

After rummaging through my closet I settled for a black tee and blue jeans with a pair of white sneakers and pulled up my long dark locks into a lazy bun.

I put on some plain lip gloss and mascara, just so I looked a little more. . .I don't know, not dead.

I picked up my wallet and checked my cellphone while heading downstairs. Nine missed calls, twelve text messages. Jeez! I don't blame Ash for being mad.

"Ma, I'm heading out!" I yelled as I walked past my parent's bedroom.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"I don't know. Just hanging out with Ash and the guys. I'll let you know if I'm late. Bye!"

"Be safe!" she called out after me.

"Always!"

I buckled into Ash's car, while she gave me a once-over and chuckled. "What?"

"I bet you didn't even bother to brush your hair before pulling it into a bun," she mumbled, backing out of my driveway.

"Beautiful and observant. Remind me why you're single again?" I asked as if thinking out loud.

"Meanie," she mumbled, shoving my shoulder and I chuckled. 

When she pulled up near The Cane cafe my stomach rumbled and I smiled. "Good. I was hungry."

When we reached the cafe, Neil and Avi were already waiting for us, and I felt my smile grow bigger at the sight of them.

"Hey, little demon," Neil hollored, waving wildly at me and I rolled my eyes. "Let's just throw your phone out in the ocean, adopt a pigeon and then I'll write you letters in case of emergency because that seems much more reliable now."

"I know you're being sarcastic, but I love the idea." I grinned and had to stand on my tippy toes to smack him over the head, which he promptly avoided and smacked me instead. 

Neil was my oldest friend, well-built, tall, with chestnut hair and baby-blue eyes. He'd always been a tough guy on the outside, but once you got past that you'd know that he had the heart of a toddler.

That childlike demeanour that I adored so much was also why we were in the middle of a prissy slap-fight right now, just a blur of our hands swatting one another in rapid succession.

"Children! Let's not fight in public," Avi said, pulling us both apart with a stern look, which melted away when I pulled his ear affectionately.

Avi was the complete opposite of Neil, but he had his own brand of charm, with his dark brown hair and green eyes. He was the voice of reason in our little group. He'd always been the most mature, logical, and responsible one among us, so naturally, all our parents adored him.

Cane Cafe was dimly lit, cozy, and not very crowded. It had served as our hang-out spot for as long as I could remember. We sat on our usual seats at a corner table, by a window. The aroma of ground coffee and freshly baked goods lingered in the air. I sighed with pleasure, as I sank into my seat and got comfortable.

"What time is our first class tomorrow?" I asked.

"Seven-thirty," Ash stated.

"Are you serious?" I whined, burying my face in my hands. "But school starts at nine!"

"Mr. Anderson is going to be out of town for a couple of days this week, so he is hoping to make up for it with some extra classes," Ash answered.

It was our last year in high school before we flew off to different colleges, so all our teachers were extra cautious with our studies this year, hoping that in the end we would come out with flying colors and keep up the reputation of the school.

"Is he allowed to do that?" I frowned and she shrugged in response. "It should be illegal to wake up before seven-thirty. Seriously!" I complained.

If you hadn't yet figured it out;  I was not a morning person. I could stay up until seven in the morning, but not wake up at seven in the morning.

"But you'll have to." Ash smiled, who had always been an early riser.

"Easy for you to say. Anyway, you guys are in charge of waking me up," I said. "I need a wake-up call at six-thirty."

We resorted to this system a few months ago, after my friends discovered my impressive ability to fall asleep even after I had turned off multiple alarms.

It was like having my own wake-up call service. If I didn't answer their call, it's to repeat. If I answered and hung up, it's to repeat. They needed to make sure I was awake.

One of the servers greeted us with a warm smile and got us our regular order "If you kids need something else, let me know, " she said, and we gave her a thumbs up, our mouths already half full. She let out a low chuckle before walking away.

"You guys are waiting after school for my football match tomorrow, right?" Neil asked.

"Of course." I nodded.

Ash hummed in agreement, clearly not very keen. She was not a sports person, but she indulged in team spirit. Sports did not interest her, and neither did our school. Her heart was set on New York and fashion designing. 

Avi, on the other hand, was an artist and a very good one at that. He dreamed of making a career out of it but had never really come up with the courage to tell his parents about it. They wanted him to be a Doctor and carry on the family legacy.

And me? I was as clueless as ever, but I didn't allow myself to dwell on that for longer than 2 seconds unless I wanted to start wailing against my will.

"So I heard Tyler is our team captain again this year? " Ash asked, pulling me out of my thoughts and I sighed.

Tyler Crosby.

Driven, hardworking, and charismatic. A winner. 

Every typical high school had that one unapproachable 'bad boy', but Tyler wasn't one of them; he never cared about that stuff. Although he definitely had the looks and brood for it. Though guarded, he was approachable and seemed like a genuinely good person.

Tyler was well known at school. Well built, well groomed, well dressed, well– everything. Straight-A student. Best athlete. Life of every party.

It was seriously unfair!

Since he was very close to Neil as a friend and a teammate, we'd all become friends too.

"Yep, he deserves it." Neil shrugged.

"Yeah." Ash smiled. "He is talented and humble, a rare combination." 

"And he is hot," I blurted out, absentmindedly. 

Shit!

"Oooh so you think he is hot," Ash hooted, while Neil and Avi were looking at me wide-eyed at this confession.

I rolled my eyes, choosing not to answer her, knowing exactly where she'll lead the conversation. Give her an inch and she'll take a mile.

But Ashley wasn't the type of person who'd give up easily.

She snapped her fingers in front of my face and cleared her throat. "You think Tyler is hot. So...what does that mean?"

Oh, and also she was a hopeless romantic. Emphasis on the hopeless.  

"It means that I have a functioning pair of eyes and a vagina." I gave her a sweet smile while she scowled, making Avi and Neil snicker.

"What? I am not blind. He is hot. And that's it. But he tries too hard to be perfect at everything. It gets a little annoying sometimes," I said.

"What's wrong with perfection? " Ash asked.

"I like people who have their own flaws. It makes them unique and relatable I guess." I shrugged.

"I'm just waiting for the day you fall in love with someone, V. It'll be something to witness," Avi mumbled, taking a bite out of his burger.

"Oh, no I am good. Besides, maybe it's somehow better this way." Maybe.

"For now." Neil winked.

Among all four of us, Neil was the only one who was in a long-term relationship with a girl from our school, Sam.

As for Avi, Ash, and I, we had a pretty clear record except for some short-lived crushes here and there.

"Does your sudden allergy to love and relationships have something to do with what happened last year?" Ash asked.

Yes. "No. Of course not," I lied.

As usual, Ash saw right through me. She shook her head and said, "You were never good at lying, V. So why try?"

"Can we talk about something else, please?" I requested and she stared at me for a second, before nodding.

I turned to look at others. "Guys, it's a fresh start, and our last year in high school, let's make it a memorable one!" I smiled.

"We will!" Neil returned my smile, while Avi and Ash raised their glasses of milkshake and nodded their heads in agreement.

When I got home, I took a quick shower and finished my pending coursework.

I got into my bed and tried to get some sleep, when what Avi had said earlier popped up in my head, 'I am just waiting for the day you fall in love with someone.'

'Me too!' I had wanted to say, but I couldn't. I didn't know why.