- Chapter 2 .

'' People who die from suicide don't want to end their lives, they want to end their pain. '' 

- Charlottes P.O.V -

I looked up and all i saw was white. Was i in heaven? I quickly sat up and looked around. Nope i was in hospital. When i woke up i surely wasn't expecting to be here... hell i surely wasn't expecting to wake up. My head was pounding , and there was a bunch of wires connected to my arms. 

A nurse with curly blonde hair walked in , and her eyes widened at the sight of me.

''Hello Miss. I'm sorry you startled me. We didn't think you'd be up so soon.'' she smiled. I didn't exactly have any words to reply back so i sat there nodding. She cleared her throat and smoothed out her nurse uniform and continued to speak to me.

''I'll just go get your parents in.'' she said , i sighed and nodded. Soon enough my Mom and dad walked in. My mother rushing to my side and hugging me tight kissing me on the head.

''Oh i'm so glad to see you.'' she cried

''I'm fine mum.'' i spoke my voice a bit raspy from dehydration. I looked to my right and grabbed the glass of water on the side taking a gulp and clearing my throat.

''I'm fine.'' i repeated

''I was so worried.'' she cried harder.

''Mum i'm-''

''No your not Charlotte. Your not fine. Why did you stop taking your medicine. You said you was fine. Have the voices been coming back? Is this why you did it? I wish you just talk to me Charlotte. I could of helped.'' she said in a more louder tone. She was angry , stressed and it looked like she hadn't got any sleep. My dad walked around the bed and pulled mum into his arms as she sobbed into his chest.

'' I want to go home.'' i said , My mum pulled away from my dad and they looked at each other. Something was going on and i couldn't put my finger on it.

''You will honey. Soon. I promise'' she smiled weakly. 

''Pro-'' before i could say another word a man walked in holding a clipboard. I scanned his name tag and it read Dr.Hunter.

''Hello , Miss Thomas. How are you feeling?'' he asked.

I answered him and the next twenty other questions he asked me. He told me to get some rest because i was going to have some sort of consultation with my therapist and him later on in the day. I didn't really go back to sleep. I couldn't. Mum went back to the house to get some rest and freshen up and dad went back to work for a few hours. I haven't seen Jackson , he hasn't bothered to come visit me he's apparently checking out colleges around Sydney because hes graduating a year early.

My sister Hannah hasn't bothered to come either. I found out shes the one who found me on the floor of the bathroom. Apparently shes emotionally scarred and is getting a new car no doubt. In a way i feel bad for her witnessing me like that but in a way i feel angry that she didn't just come home a bit later so i couldn't of been saved.

The worst part of this experience is the fact that i failed the one thing that was supposed to end all my failures in life. I can't do anything right ... i can't even kill myself.

****

I got changed into some skinny jeans and a loose black t-shirt. Getting out of the hospital gown was a relief. The material of the gowns always gave me a rash , i was going home after this meeting. Which i was happy about , i'm not really looking forward to this meeting since its just gonna be about me taking more therapy sessions and taking my medication again.

I walked into the room and sat down at one of the chairs , my father sitting next to me. I looked around but it turned out my mum was not present i looked over to my dad and whispered

''Where's mum?'' he looked over to me and leaned towards my ear

''She's just got to sleep i thought i wouldn't wake her.'' he whispered , i nodded.

After about 5 minutes three people walked in. Two being familiar , the doctor from earlier Dr.Hunter and my therapist Mrs.Quenty or how she liked me to call her... Wendy. There was another women dressed casually in jeans and a tank top. A id tag was around her neck but i couldn't read what it said in the small print. They all sat down , the unknown women sitting on my left , my dad on my right. The doctor and therapist in front of me behind a desk.

''Hello Charlotte. How are you feeling?'' Wendy asked

''Cut the crap , lets get to the point. You're putting me on medication again and i'll probably have what? three sessions of therapy a week.'' i said.

''Language Charlotte.'' My dad scolded , i rolled my eyes and folded my arms

''Actually Charlotte No. We're not going to be just putting you on medication and giving you therapy.''

''Wait... what? What else could you possibly do? Send me to a mental home?'' i laughed , the room went silent and i looked at everyone in the room. My dad's eyes glued to the floor , my therapist biting her lip my doctor avoiding contact from me and the unknown women staring at me.

''It's a clinic actually.'' she spoke , my eyes widened and i shook my head.

''Charlotte we are admitting you to South gate Psychiatric Hospital for further examining.'' Dr.Hunter explained. I shook my head again and again.

''No i am not! Dad tell them i'm not going. They canno't make me!''

''Charlotte you are going. I'm sorry. Its whats best for you.'' he said quietly , i stood up from my chair and backed away.

''No! I'm not going to a mental home with mental people. I canno't i'm fine i promise!''

''Last time you said you was fine and look where you ended up. Charlotte this is a reality check for us all your not mentally stable. This time you were so close to dying we almost couldn't save you'' Dr Hunter explained.

''When...When do i go?'' i asked

''Tomorrow morning.'' the women said , i sat back down into my seat and stared at the floor.

''Oh by the way, I'm Dr.Hyland , well you can call me Melissa. But i will be your doctor , councillor and friend at south-gate.'' she smiled 

''Ho.. How long do i-i-i have to stay there.'' i stuttered , i've seen all these mental institution movies i know things do not go well.

''Well it depends how you are. The trial is two weeks if you participate in group discussions , take your medication , go to therapy. But we are entitled to keep you there as long as we need.'' 

''Great. Just Great.'' i sighed

''Okay Mr.Thomas we just need you to sign a few forms. If you would hand them in at reception that would be great , Miss Hyland we'll give you the copies shortly after''

Dr.Hunter smiled handing over the contracts , Dr Hunter , Wendy and Melissa all exited the room leaving me and my dad alone.My dad stared at the papers and took out a pen placing it on the dotted line.

''Dad please. Please don't do this i'm fine i promise. This time i really am. I'll ... I'll take my medication i'll do better in school anything dad. Just please don't do this. I'm your little girl please i dont want to go! Please i'm begging you. Please!!'' i cried out , tears falling down my face.

''I'm sorry Charlotte. I'm doing this for you and the sake of this family.'' he sighed and connected his hand to the paper signing his name on the places necessary. I squeezed my eyes shut and hoped this was all a dream my dad placed his hand on my wrist and dragged me out of the chair. I pulled my arm away and followed him down the halls. He handed over the files and shortly after the files got handed over to Melissa.

''I'll see you tomorrow Charlotte..'' She smiled and walked off. I mimicked her and rolled my eyes earning a death glare from my father. I just gave him a cheesy smile and walked off in front of him and got into the car. Letting out a puff of air in frustration , doing up my seat belt and staring out the window. 

****

''How could you do this Andrew?!'' My mother screamed at my dad. They were currently discussing...arguing about dad signing the papers to send me to the mental home. Mum clearly didn't agree but there wasn't really anything she could do my father had made up his mind.

''Julia , this is our daughter for Christ sake. She needs help!'' he yelled back. I sat on the bar stool up the kitchen counter and listened to the endless yelling. My brother Jackson walked in took out a water from the fridge gave me one look of disgust then walked out.

''Whats his problem?'' i mumbled

''Andrew our daughter isn't mental! She's just going through a tough time. How could you send our daughter to a mental home she could get hurt!'' Mum cried

''I know she isn't mental , but she needs help you cannot just let her go around trying to kill herself.''

''Oooh whats going on?''  Hannah asked sitting next to me

''Oh your father decided to send your sister to a loony bin.'' My mother yelled storming out of the kitchen my dad running after her cursing. I let out a deep sigh and rested my head on the counter.

''At least you get to be with people like you.'' she smiled , i lifted my head up and gave her a i'm going to punch you in the fucking face if you dont shut up look. She rolled her eyes jumped off the stool.

''I'm not mental.'' i mumbled

''Whatever you say freak.'' she said back walking out of the kitchen.

''I'm not mental.'' i whispered to myself.

Later on that night i found myself alone in my room. The arguing has die down and somehow my dad managed to talk my mum into the idea of me going into the mental institute... or as they call it 'Clinic' is a good thing and it will help me. Mum offered to drive me to the place in the morning , maybe she wont make me , maybe she'll take me home or to a family members house just to avoid confrontation with my dad. Oh how i hope that will happen.

If i knew my attempt in killing myself would end up resulting in me having to live with a bunch of nut-jobs i wouldn't of done it in the first place. I crawled under the covers and let out a heavy sigh. This was gonna be the last time in this bed , in this room , in this house for awhile. I just hope tomorrow isn't as bad as i think its going to be.

****

A/N

-Chapter 2

Sorry for late updates i've been sick :(

Michael + 5SOS will be in the next chapter.

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