I hum softly, rocking a sleeping Adora in my arms. The toddler has had a long morning of running around, playing with blocks and reading with Phineas, and an even longer afternoon  doing those same things with me. Although I couldn't read much. My voice is a bit too raw from crying for the past three days to really talk much. Sam suggested playing with the kids after finishing my morning shift to help ease my mind over what's just happened.

It hasn't helped. I think Sam only suggested that since he's upset, and he knows if I see him upset then I'll get even more upset.

All those people... to watch all of them die when we were so close to saving them, and for them to turn to V-Types. It worsens our situation all together. Innocent people are dead, the V-Type army has grown, the Exmoore Militia's morale has tanked, and it feels like everything is just... wrong.

"I'm so confused, God," I whisper, my voice wavering. "I thought we were making progress. I thought this was a way out, a step forward and now... What are we supposed to do?"

I try not to ask Him why He allowed this, because that's not really the case. This happened because we have free will and that Rider used his to hurt innocent people. I know that. But it's so hard. It's hard to remind myself this wasn't God's doing when I feel so small and helpless.

"I don't know what we're going to do next," I choke. "I'm upset. I'm scared. It hurts. I need you to show me what to do." A sob leaves my lips, and I do my best to muffle it as to not wake Adora. "Show me what to do, please."

A few tears slip from my lashes, running off my face to splash on my arm. I know deep down we'll move on, like we always do. We must survive, but this kind of loss still stays with us. It lingers. The knowledge of how we were so close, how if we would have been just a bit faster...

The guilt is overwhelming.

I've been told by multiple people that it wasn't my fault, or Milo's or anyone else who was on the mission. It's the Rider's fault. But it still hurts because I couldn't stop it. I couldn't save them and now many people are dead. Children are without parents. Men and women are now widows and widowers. People on the Undaunted who had been waiting years to come back to their family members now have no one.

It's painful, and horrible, and I just want to make things better, but I know I can't. So I'm left to suffer, and I hate it.

It's selfish to just think of my pain. I can only imagine how Jules must feel. Colonel Sage is doing everything he can to help. I think he feels guilty too, for not making it to the front in time to warn everyone. I think he's trying to make up for it, which is strengthening his relationship with the Exmoore Militia. I know he'll be helping them settle and will then be trying to work out how to get back on the talks of peace and efforts against the V-Types. Their army probably grew by hundreds because of what happened at the celebration.

They become smarter the more of them there are, and now we have to worry like we did before with the numbers continuing to rise.

If it keeps rising, we won't stand a chance. I look down at Adora, who's still out like a light. If we don't stop the V-Types, then she won't get a chance to grow up.

"Please be like your brother," I whisper. "Please be like Phineas and like origami and chinchillas and-and reading and gardening. I'll even be okay if you like to set things on fire. Just don't grow up and say you want to be a runner."

Milo's birthday was ruined. Valentine's Day was ruined. It was supposed to be a good day and it ended up with everyone traumatized and grieving. Milo's seen death before. He's been a runner for two years and has gone on missions with me, and some of them didn't end well.

But that doesn't mean I want him to see more of it. Every mission that has something like that I pray it will be the last time he will have to see someone die, or someone he cares about get hurt.

I never wanted him to be like me. I never wanted him to have to go through this, but he is. I see so much of myself in him and it's terrifying.

He was so innocent when I first got to Abel, and now he's seen death time time again. I'm there for him, and I'll do everything I can to make things better. I just don't want my other children to want to do this.

I tense when I hear footsteps from down the hall. Strange. No one else is in the nursery today. Most of the children are out playing since it's not bitter cold out. I'm only in here because, while it's not bitter cold, the February weather is too much for my Arkansan blood.

Still, no one should be in here.

"Hello?" I call out. I'm not going to jump to the conclusion that whoever is here is dangerous, because it's Abel and well, this is a nursery. It could be just that one of the nursery workers forgot something for the children. "Miss Andi? Is that you?"

I don't get an answer, so I stand, lying Adora down on one of the beds with the gates to keep her from rolling off. The no reply has left me guessing it's not a nursery worker, most of the teenagers are kept occupied by the new arcade games in the rec rooms, so I doubt it's them sneaking in just to feel cool.

The footsteps are getting louder, and before I can reach the open door, a head pops inside with a face that I wasn't expecting to see.

I yelp, my hand coming up to my chest before my brain recognizes who's in front of me.

"Peter?"

I'm answered with a grin. "Hello, darling."

I stare at him in shock before a smile spreads across my face. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I just thought you might be missing me, so I decided to come for a little visit." He leans closer and lowers his voice. "I know Tom is great, but when it comes down to it, I'll always be your favorite."

I laugh, and I silently curse myself when I hear just how watery it is. Peter's smile slips from his face, and he reaches out and grabs my chin so he can push my hair from my face.

"Have you been crying?" He asks, and I push his hand away.

"It's nothing. Just emotional, as I am sometimes."

The look he gives me tells me he doesn't believe that for a second, but I don't want to spend his visit being sad. It's been weeks since I've seen Peter, and I've missed him. He's been happy, and I don't want him to come to visit me and become sad. If that happens, then he'll want to come to Abel even less, and then I'll see him even less than I already do.

That thought alone makes my stomach churn.

"So, how're things going at Banktown?" I ask, and his eyes light up.

"Great! A lot of people are enjoying the fitness program I started. Since most of the tracks and training grounds are used only by runners, the people with other jobs are using this to get more exercise. Not that they really need it, since Sage has them working on a schedule that keeps them on their toes. He really values efficiency."

"Yeah. Yeah, he seems like that kind of guy. I'm glad he was so willing to hear us out all those months ago."

"Yeah. I heard that thanks to you, New Oban is giving Abel a chance too, and is opening up again."

I smile and nod. "I wish I would have gotten to see more of the place. It had some really advanced tech, but I didn't go to sightsee."

"You've been to quite a few amazing places that you never got to really look at," He hums, and I raise one shoulder in a half shrug.

"Comes with the job, but I get some of the best views right here in Abel, like seeing my kids playing on the playground or when Sam dresses up for Halloween, or when my best friend comes for a visit."

"Flatterer."

"I'm serious. I've missed you."

"I've missed you too. Honestly, it's a bit annoying when I hear about all your adventures from Sage or Jones." He rolls his eyes. "Funny how he's gone from trying to kill you to asking you to leave him behind."

I don't tell him that he's done the same thing before.

"Jones is an... interesting character, but Colonel Sage told me that he apologized. I didn't blame him either way. The Glass Protocol is gone now, and I have... other things to worry about." I can't tell him about what Catherine said to me, because doing so would mean I'd have to tell him that I may be fully mortal now, or at least, no longer have the ability to regenerate. I honestly haven't talked to Sage about how it might affect my super strength, or if it will.

To be perfectly honest, I'm still in awe that this is actually working on taking away the cell regeneration in the first place. A part of me is just waiting for the other shoe to drop, and for it to somehow turn out to be only temporary or something like that.

"Other things?" Peter asks, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Oh, just the V-Types and all the weird things going on in my head. Stuff like that. The norm." I force a chuckle and pray it sounds genuine.

"Ah. Right. Everything going okay in that head of yours?" He taps my head teasingly, and I lightly smack his hand away.

"Okay as it can be, considering..." I trail off, but then force a smile. "I'm sorry. Can we talk about something else? I want your visit in Abel to be a good one. I doubt talking about the negative stuff is really what you want to talk about."

He gives me a serious look, and I force another laugh.

"What?"

"Why are you trying to act happy?"

"I'm not."

"You are."

"I'm not. I know the last time we talked I was a little... unstable, but I've had some counseling sessions with Paula, although I've had to lie about a few things... But it's been helping."

"And have you talked to her at all about what happened a few days ago?"

My smile drops.

Oh.

"So you know what happened with the Exmoore?" I say softly, gritting my teeth to keep my lip from trembling.

"Well, word travels quickly, but Sage told me as soon as he got back to Banktown."

I facepalm. "Of course. Should've known. Did he send you? Is that why you're here?"

My voice raises in pitch the slightest bit, my chest tightening in offense at the thought of Peter getting sent here to see me as some type of chore rather than deciding to visit of his own free will, but he quickly shakes his head.

"No, no, he didn't. I thought it might be a good idea just to come by and see how you were. I know you. You're like me, and no amount of others telling you it wasn't your fault would convince you otherwise, but... I still thought I should check up on you."

I blink, going quiet for a few moments. "Oh. Well, that was... very kind of you."

"I've got to have some redeeming qualities. So are you-" He lets out an 'Oof' when I tackle him into a hug, burying my face into his chest so he doesn't have to see the tears in my eyes.

"We were so close," I tell him, trying to hide the hitch in my voice as a sob tries to rise.

"I know." He lets me hug him for a few more moments before I pull away, trying to wipe away some of my tears.

"Sorry, I-I should've warned you before tackling you into a hug, huh?"

"Seeing that we've literally tackled each other to the ground without warning before, I think this is fine."

I laugh at his joke, which makes him smile softly.

"Plus, it's been a while since I've gotten a hug. In Banktown people are a lot less touchy-feely."

"Well, I'll always be touchy-feely with you," I say, but then blink when he bursts out laughing. "Wait. That's not-"

"Glad to know," He snorts. "But maybe we can spend the day doing something other than being touchy-feely? When I came in Sam told me you guys got a few more movies in and I haven't gotten much of a chance to do anything recreational in Banktown and-oh."

I look to where he's eyeing and see Adora sitting up in her bed, rubbing her eyes and looking around wearily until she spots me. The toddler reaches her hands up and calls out a short, "Mummy," and I walk over to her to pick her up from the bed.

"I'll see if I can find the nursery workers to watch over her, and then we can see about a movie, okay?"

Peter shrugs. "Fine by me, cupcake. While you do that, I'm going to have a smoke. That way Adora won't get sick."

I frown. "You know that's not good for you, right?"

"Neither is night drinking, but I do that too, with you."

"We drink in moderation, and... I'm working on stopping."

"Why? You're immortal. S'not like your liver's feeling the brunt of it."

"It wouldn't feel the brunt of it if I got stabbed in the liver either," I spit back, although that'd be a lie now. Peter simply scoffs.

"Being stabbed isn't enjoyable. I don't want you to feel pain."

"And I don't want you to be unhealthy. That's going to be a tough habit to break."

He cocks a brow. "Why would I need to break it?"

"I-" I stop, paling. Peter keeps his questioning gaze on me, expecting for me to give an answer. If he becomes mortal again, then smoking would damage his lungs, but I can't tell him that, not yet. "I just... well, I mean, you're eventually going to run out of cigarettes, and you can quit cold turkey, but I've head that's not the easiest way to do it, so..."

"I'll cross that bridge when I get to it, but for now..." He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his pack of cigarettes. "I'll enjoy them while they're still around."

"You don't even enjoy smoking."

"But you know what I do enjoy? Taking the time to watch a movie with my very best friend." He says those words in a mocking voice while pinching my cheek, chuckling when I roll my eyes. "Now hurry up and go find someone to watch that angel of yours so we can get started."

"Alright, alright," I say as I leave the room and walk down the hallway towards the exit with him following. "You're so demanding."

"Just how you like it."

I scoff, but I don't deny it.

•

I have to blink myself back to the present when the movie is over. The end credits are rolling, but I dazed out about halfway through, thinking about the V-Types and my mortality and all the things this movie was supposed to be distracting me from.

Thankfully I have Sam to lean on, since Peter and I both thought it might be a good idea to invite some other people to watch a movie with us since I'm not the only one who felt overwhelmed by what happened a few days ago. I'm sure if I wasn't leaning against him I would have fallen over from being dazed out.

I'm surprised Janine said yes when we asked her, but since it was Peter asking-well, pestering-she reluctantly agreed. He sat with her during the movie. Neither of them have really spoken, but I think Peter is just glad to be near her. He's missed her, and while she doesn't admit it to anyone, I know she's missed him too.

I'm sure of it, seeing that she was actually smiling during the movie.

But now the movie's over, so it's time to pack up and get back to whatever else is on the agenda for today.

"I don't want to move," I grumble, getting a chuckle from Sam.

"Well, you can't sit here all day."

"Why not?"

"Because," Janina says clearly, making me flick my gaze to her as she looks down at me, "we all have work to get back to. I believe Mr. Yao has a run scheduled in twenty minutes."

I pout. "Boo."

"And I have work to get back to as well. I must speak with Colonel Sage and how we are to move on with one of the scheduled peace conference a few days from now. What happened with the Exmoores has put everyone on edge, and we must work out a plan to ensure everyone will be safe." She rubs her temples. "This movie break has already put me behind, but since Peter was visiting, I... made an exception."

I don't miss how Peter beams at her.

"Oh, right. More conferences." I honestly forgot we had those, but I can understand the fear that everyone else has since it now seems too easy to infiltrate a celebration and spike the champagne.

"Well, since you both have to get back to work, I guess Callista and I will have to keep each other entertained, aye?" Peter quips, grabbing my hand and pulling me to my feet. "You don't have anything to do today, do you?"

I shake my head. My chores are done for today. I spent about four hours this morning making and serving breakfast and spent another two hours prepping everything for lunch before going to play with Adora. Thankfully that was all I was scheduled for. A six hour shift goes by so much slower that a six hour run, probably because it's safer. If I'd been scheduled for longer, it would have been misery.

Peter grins at my response. "Great. Now come on. Let's leave our significant others to their business. The faster they get back to work, the faster they'll get done and we can come back and bother them."

Sam laughs lightly at that while Janine just rolls her eyes. I'm able to give them both a small wave before Peter grabs my wrist and drags me out of the building.

It's a comforting feeling. It's been so long since we've ran together, and usually that's the only time he's grabbed my wrist. My eyes become downcast as guilt washes over me.

I know he's happy at Banktown, but I've missed him a lot more than I realized. I want him to come back to Abel.

Of course, I'd never tell him that. I can't be selfish. He's finally happy. He's finally at a point where he isn't constantly trying to get himself killed. He's not constantly thinking he has to sacrifice himself. I can't-I won't-do that and out him in that position.

I can't be a bad friend to him.

There's a snapping finger in front of my face, and Peter snorts when I flinch. "Don't go zoning out on me now."

"Huh? Oh, sorry. You know me. Thinking too much."

"Oh, I know. And it's usually about something stupid."

"Hey!" I gasp in offense. "It's not stupid... this time."

He raises a brow. "What are you thinking about then?"

"Just... what I could show you, since we've added a few new updates to Abel."

Peter scoffs. "Liar."

I wish I had it in me to tell him I'm not. But instead I lead him over to the greenhouse, showing him the new updates there, like new glass doors and a couple of better built shelves. He takes more interest in the pathetic excuse of a cafe we built that looks more like a shack.

"I haven't really gone into it," I tell him, "but in the greenhouse, we've been able to grow coffee beans so we don't have to worry about stale coffee anymore. I mean, you can get black coffee in the kitchens during breakfast, but this is if you want any fancy stuff like cream or milk or caramel flavoring or anything like that. Sam tells me it's good."

A lightbulb goes off in my head, and I reach into my pocket and pull out of a couple of batteries Milo gave me from his run yesterday. I think he gave it to me because I told him my flashlight died, but these weren't the right ones.

"Hey, batteries are one of the accepted payments. Do you want something?"

Peter smiles playfully. "Are you trying to spoil me?"

"Maybe."

"Am I to guess you're going to want something from me later?"

"Please." I snort. "If I wanted something, I wouldn't try buttering you up. Actually, I'm hoping to..." I trail off, wondering if I should say anything, although from Peter's face, I've already said too much.

"Hoping to what?" He asks, before a knowing look passes over his face. "You are going to ask for something, aren't you?"

"Don't be silly." I bite the inside of my cheek and then sigh in defeat. "Well, I... I'm hoping to give you a gift soon. I just... have to wait for a couple things and-well, it's a bit of a complicated and-"

"An elaborate gift for me, hm? What's the occasion? My birthday was months ago, and there's no other national holiday coming up-"

"Can't I just give you a gift to be nice?"

"You could, but that's a luxury few can afford to do in an apocalypse. I could only wonder who you'd have to make a deal with to get me a gift that actually takes time to get."

I smirk. "It wasn't Amelia, if that's what you're worried about. It was with someone I trust."

"You trusted me the second you saw me at the circus."

"And it payed off, didn't it? Now we're BFFs."

"And the forever is literally," He says under his breath, and I force a laugh.

"Uh, yeah. But um, hopefully I should hear about the gift soon, and..." I raise my hands to count on my fingers. When we go to that peace conference, it'll have been about three weeks from the last time I got tested in Sage's lab. We should be able to do a blood test to see if the nanites worked, and they should be fully out of my body by then too. "I'll maybe be able to give it to you after the peace conference if everything goes well. But it may... fall through, so please keep that in mind."

He seems to notice the slight disappointment in my voice, and he squeezes my wrist in comfort. "Oh, don't worry yourself about me. Just the coffee is a good gift. If you can't pull through with whatever you have planned, it's fine. But if you do get it, I'm sure I'll like whatever it is."

"Oh, I know you will."

"You know, if you want to know for sure, then you could tell me now and I'd give you a yes or no."

I snort. "Nice try. Sam used the same stupid tactics when he was trying to figure out my name. I'm not saying anything more."

Remembrance flashes across his blue eyes. "Oh, your name. I felt so special for the longest time since I knew it and very few others did. Sam was so mad about it too." He looks at the cafe door. "Well, might as well go inside instead of standing out here like a bunch of idiots. Come on."

•

It's a nice little cafe, I'll give it that. Abel's come along nicely since I first came here. There are little chairs and tables and wooden floors, and the costumers are served coffee in glass cups. None of them match, but none of us mind.

I give the barista, Elspeth, one of Milo's friends, the payment after Peter picks out something. He doesn't really remember what was in the sugary coffee drinks so he just picked something so we wouldn't be just standing there stupidly. 

It's nice, having some form of business. I mean, we've done it with other settlements in terms of swapping things and favors and all that, but it's really nice to actually have business like this in Abel, to give bits of payment for special coffee. I mean, this isn't as nice as a cafe was before the apocalypse, obviously. There aren't sweets or anything for sale besides coffee and espresso with some flavorings that I never thought I'd see again. But to us, this is amazing, heaven sent.

"Why didn't you get anything?" Peter asks as we take a seat since the Elspeth told us she'd bring Peter his drink.

"Oh, I've never been much of a coffee drinker. Only started drinking it after the apocalypse and got used to it tasting like crap."

A half smile appears on his face at that. "Right. You were pretty young before the apocalypse started."

"Twelve and a half."

"Gross. I hated being that age."

"Honestly, same. But being young made me useful. Very few expected me to be able to fight back. That is one thing that sucks about being an adult. I've lost the element of surprise."

"Hasn't hurt you too much. You're still alive."

"Well, I remember once before you said you didn't expect a measly bullet to kill me, so..."

He seems surprised that I remember that, or maybe he's trying to remember that himself. "That was when we were at Noah Base, wasn't it?"

"Uh-huh. We were moving it. I was checking on my laundry and you were smoking a cigarette by the washing machine."

He raises a brow, impressed. "You have a very detailed memory of that moment."

"I'd kept an extremely close eye on you when you first came here. I saw the visions, but even without them, I just knew there was something about you-that there was a reason I could trust you, and I wanted to know why."

"Took you long enough to figure it out."

My lips press together as I rest my chin in my hands. "I never claimed to be smart, Peter."

"Oh, believe me, I know." He fails to keep himself from laughing when I glare at him, but his attention is quickly taken away from me when he sees Elspeth walking towards us.

"Here's your drink," She says, and I notice her shoe is coming untied. I try to warn her, but a second later she's tripping on the laces, falling flat on her face and sending the coffee drink flying forward.

It hits me square in the chest, the cup falling and shattering as I bite my tongue to keep from cursing as burning liquid drenches my shirt.

"Callista!" Peter shouts, and Elspeth gasps as she pushes herself to her feet.

"I-I'm so sorry! I'll go get a towel!" She makes a mad dash to the back while I dab at my shirt with a napkin.

"We're going to need to get out of here, quickly," Peter mutters, and I nod, tears stinging my eyes. Elspeth returns with a damp towel, which Peter takes before he drags me out of the cafe.

It's cooler outside, but that doesn't take the pain away. We head behind the cafe so I can remove my shirt without everyone seeing.

"Here. I know you'll be fine in a few minutes, but this should help the pain until then," Peter says, pressing the damp cloth against my red skin. I bite back a hiss at the contact, my heart pounding as I try to think of a way out of this.

Peter will surely ask questions when he realizes I'm not healing. And I'm not healing, which, at this moment, is both good and bad.

"Thank you," I tell him, still pressing the cloth to my chest. "Um, could I use your jacket? I don't want to put this shirt on since it's soaked with coffee and I don't really want to walk around in just a sports bra, so-"

"Oh! Oh, yeah. Of course." He quickly takes his jacket off and hands it me. I put it on immediately, removing the damp towel from my skin despite the relief it gave. I'm in a bit too much pain to be embarrassed about looking indecent, but it's not like Peter knows that.

"We should probably head back to the coms shack so you can get some actual clothes. Plus we can put on some bandages since I know there were people that saw what happened, and they'd be suspicious if you were walking around fine a few minutes later."

"Y-yeah. Good idea. Let's go," I reply, my face scrunched up. Peter frowns in confusion.

"Um, are you okay? You still look to be in a lot of pain."

"My wounds cauterize themselves, remember? So burns just feel like-"

"More burning. Right." I can tell he's mentally slapping himself for asking. "The good thing is it will be over soon."

The guilt that stabs me in the chest hurts almost as bad as the burn. "Yeah."

"Now come on. Let's get to the coms shack."

A/N: Here you go, guys! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please be sure to vote and comment! Thank you and have a blessed day!