It's been a long day.

I'm not tired exactly-well, I am, just not in the way that I feel the need for sleep. No, I'm not that type of tired. I'm tired in the way that I need to sit down because my brain feels overwhelmed. Janine had us all come straight back to Abel after that bounty hunter left. She didn't let us object or ask any questions, just told us we had to get back to Abel and start formulating a plan to save Selma.

Of course, she didn't tell us much about the Paradise Project, but I could tell that was because she was trying to think up something as we traveled back. I could see it by how her lips moved as she silently talked to herself. I didn't bother her. I was too busy reeling over the fact that Valmont gave A.N.N.I.E. access to the Glass Protocol, and me putting those corrupted files into her mainframe is what started it all back up again.

When we got back to Abel, things were strange. Of course, seeing Janine back again caused everyone to swarm us, asking questions of what happened, where did we find Janine, was Pit Viper holding Janine hostage and the like. We couldn't give them any answers because doing so would blow the cover Janine worked so hard to keep. Janine said nothing, only giving a few nods to certain runners before heading to her farmhouse. She told us she'd call us back shortly to brief us on the plan, but until then we should not disturb her.

So here I am now, in the coms shack, sewing little pieces of cloth together to look like flowers, since finding any actual bouquets has been an absolute failure. It seems that I'm not the only one who's tried to have a wedding the apocalypse, and the bouquets were the lowest in stock.

Sam's playing with Sarah. It's mostly just him watching her play with brightly colored foam blocks and making sure she doesn't eat them. Paula handed her over to him so she could run off to Maxine and tell her everything that happened. Technically we're not supposed to say anything to anyone until we get Janine's okay, but I think it's okay to make an exception since Maxine is Paula's wife, and I know if Sam hadn't been on that mission I'd spill everything as soon as we were alone too.

I continue to sew pieces of fabric together to make the blue and white petals. It wasn't what I imaged my bouquet to be like as a little girl, but I also didn't imagine myself getting married in a zombie apocalypse, or me getting married to someone that's not Wesley. Besides, this seems more my style now anyway-making due with what I've got. It's what I've done with literally everything else.

Sam's laughter pulls me away from my taskwork, and I watch as he builds a small tower of blocks only for Sarah to knock them down, laughing as she does so. He laughs with her, love and adoration shining in his eyes. My heart swells at the sight. He's a good dad. He and Maxine and Paula are better parents than I will ever be.

I'm glad that Sarah is a handful though, even for the three of them. It means there's less of a chance of Sam wanting children with me after we get married. I think about that a lot. The two of us having kids-it scares me. I've already lost two children, and I could easily lose a third because of his occupation as a runner. Plus actually having a child is much different than adopting one.

I'd have to take time off from running since my missions are very danger and accident prone, and just because I have accelerated healing doesn't mean my baby would. Plus if we were to have children together, that'd be even more responsibility for me. Adora is usually taken care of by some of the nursery workers while I'm out on runs or when I'm busy, but I know Sarah is usually with one of her three parents the majority of the time. She rarely spends any time with other caretakers. I don't know if I could handle that responsibility.

Thankfully Sam hasn't brought up that conversation just yet, and I'm hoping he won't for a long time, possibly ever. But I know Sam, and he probably will at some point, especially if we manage to stop Sigrid and find a cure.

The coms shack door opens so suddenly I feel the woosh of air it creates. It slams into the wall, the sound scaring Sarah and causing frightened cries to leave her mouth. Sam, panicking, scoops her up and holds her close in an attempt to calm her, glaring at the two who rush inside the coms shack. They both look wide eyed and frantic.

Milo stares at me, looking both shocked and expectant. "Janine's back."

"Your son is observant as ever," Sam grumbles as he sways Sarah gently, her cries dying quickly but still present for the moment.

"You said you were going to go negotiate with Pit Viper about Selma's contract," Veronica says, and I shrug.

"Things happen, Ronnie. You should know by now that no mission ever goes as planned."

"But how did you go from going to talk to Pit Viper to finding Janine?" Milo asks, and I grimace.

"Well, we're not really supposed to say anything until we get Janine's okay-"

"Why would you need Janine's okay?"

"Because this mission was pretty important and needs to be kept on the down-low for now," I answer, as if it's obvious, mostly because it is.

Veronica shakes her head. "It doesn't matter. Why and how she's here isn't why we came by. She's locked herself in her farmhouse and I need to get in to speak with her. Callista, you know how to pick locks. I need you to get the door open for me so I can get in."

After a brief moment of silence so my brain can process her words, a laugh bubbles from my lips. "You're joking, right?"

She tilts her head to the side. "Why would I joke about something like this?"

"Because it's Janine! You want me to break into Janine's farmhouse just so you can talk to her?"

"Yes, isn't that what I just said?"

"Veronica, Callista can't do that," Sam interjects. "Janine is really busy right now and doesn't want to be disturbed. I'm sure she'll be willing to talk to you later."

"But I don't want to talk to her later. I have some theories about possibilities for the cure, plus I doubt you told her about what's truly going on inside Callista's head so I'll need to inform her about that, and I wanted to talk to her about Van Ark's notes that Dr. Meyers... disposed of." She says that last part with gritted teeth, her blue eyes hardening behind her glasses. I flinch back a bit. I very seldom see that kind of fury in Veronica's eyes, and I feel a strong fear when the event of it does occur.

What worries me even more is how long she's held this grudge against Maxine for destroying those notes. She usually gets over things rather quickly, working on new calculations, new ideas, a new path to take now that an obstacle has come up. Her mind is constantly moving, so for her to be stuck in this one place concerning those notes...

I notice Milo go to place a hand on her shoulder, but then falter. His hand drops to the side when Sam speaks again.

"I understand that, but those things can wait."

"They can, but they shouldn't."

He purses his lips, ignoring Sarah as she grabs and pulls at his orange jumper. "Veronica, I say this in the nicest way possible, but what Janine is working on right now is time sensitive, and at the moment it is more important than even the theories you have on the cure."

"How do you expect us to believe that when you won't tell us what's going on?" Milo asks. His tone, surprisingly, isn't accusing, but confused. It doesn't make us any less annoyed by their questioning.

"Because Janine is Janine and she puts the stuff that is most time sensitive and important as top priority." He sighs and rubs the back of his neck with his free hand. "Look, knowing Janine, it'll probably be a few hours before she calls some of us in to discuss her plan. We can ask if you two can sit in and then Veronica can ask to talk to her afterwards. Until then, why don't we watch a movie or something? Ronnie, Milo, you two can pick."

Veronica grits her teeth, frustration beginning to bubble over. Milo takes a tentative step back. "A movie isn't going to distract me from this. I need to see Janine now."

"Well, you can't," He replies, his own frustration beginning to show. "Janine's locked herself in her farmhouse for a reason, and Callista's not going to pick the lock so you can get in sooner."

"Why not? It's not like she hasn't gone against orders before." Her tone makes me straighten, my shoulders tensing.

"Well, I'm not going against these ones," I reply before Sam can. "Veronica, you can be patient for two hours, I'm sure. We've waited this long for Janine to return-"

"Exactly. We've been waiting this long for her, and so much time has been wasted, so much information has been lost because you prioritize living day to day instead of looking ahead at the future. The only things you've done in the months Janine has been gone is put Selma out to help find where those babies might be, and now you're supposed to be focused on finding her. Your mission was supposed to be on buying out that contract, but apparently you can't even do that right since all you've let it be known is that Janine has returned-"

"That's enough!" Sam shouts, just loud enough to get Veronica to shut up but not scare the squirming baby in his arms. His voice is firm, his tone annoyed and upset with a hint of hurt. "We are doing everything we can with what we have. Janine is doing everything she can in her farmhouse. What do you think she's making plans for? We're trying to get to Selma. We know where she is, but we have to make up a plan before we an go get her. So unless you want to help Janine make up a plan to get us in the Paradise Project, then you can wait."

Veronica pales significantly. "Did you say Paradise Project?"

Milo raises a brow at her. "What's that?"

"I... I've read about that place, in a few files the Minister gave me while she still had Abel in her control." She goes silent for a long moment before nodding to herself. "I... understand why she needs her space now. I'll wait, but if she isn't ready to speak within the next hour I will request again that Callista gets me into the farmhouse."

I tilt my head in surprise, wondering what exactly could the Paradise Project be to cause such a sudden change. "What exactly is the Paradise Project, Veronica?"

She looks at me, her eyes widening the slightest fraction. "She didn't tell you? Oh... Milo, you can choose the movie for us to watch while we wait."

Milo nods, a frown pulling at his lips as he heads into the next room where we keep the few movies we borrowed from the library.

"Well?" Sam asks expectantly, and Veronica sighs.

"I didn't read much about it. The knowledge of it was not beneficial to me at the time, but... from what I read it's a bio-dome of sorts, filled with animals and plants that have been experimented on. They're extremely deadly, although I didn't read any of the specifics of what made these animals dangerous. I can only guess they are something like the experiments you found in the tunnels under Abel, Callista."

"The experiments you suggested to Sigrid?" I ask, shuddering as I remember the thing that followed me down there.

"...Yes."

Valmont said A.N.N.I.E. hasn't had access to the Glass Protocol in years, which would make sense as to why the Glass Protocol didn't come after me after I stole that vaccine for Junin2, but if that's true, what was the thing that chased me through the tunnels? It sounded exactly like the Glass Protocol. That fear I felt...

Tom said that there were other experiments down there before all this. I'm wondering if that was the Glass Protocol's prototype, or something akin to it. Something as deadly as Project Glass couldn't have been created perfectly on the first try. There had to have been multiple trials, tests, performances... Maybe this one couldn't be controlled. Maybe that one wouldn't just kill its target. Maybe it chose its own targets instead of the ones assigned to it.

Maybe that's why it chose me. I was the first living thing to run down there in who knows how long, so it set it sights on me, following me through the tunnels until I locked it down there. A part of me fears that it's still waiting for me down there. I don't like to think about it.

Milo comes back with a DVD and the projector, and as Sam starts to set it up, I see Veronica looking at me. Her eyes hold something akin to pity.

"What?" I ask her.

"I am sorry, Callista. But Paradise Project... she's going to send you in there, by yourself. There's too much of a risk to send more people in there."

"Why would they send her?" Milo asks, and I can't tell if he's jealous or worried.

She pauses before speaking. "Because she has the highest chance of getting out of there alive."

"Well, that's good, I suppose," I say with a forced smile. "Having a high chance of surviving is always a good thing."

"I didn't say you had a high chance," Veronica corrects. "I said you had the highest chance out of everyone. A twenty percent chance of survival is still the highest chance if everyone else has a chance of less than ten percent."

"Is that what you think I have? A twenty percent chance of survival?"

She shrugs. "I'd have to know more about the animals and plants that are in the bio-dome. But with what I know and with the guessing that you won't be the only ones to go after Selma, and with Janine creating the plan... I'd guess you stand a forty-nine percent chance of surviving."

"Forty-nine percent chance, huh?" I let out a huff. "I can work with that."

•

Anna wipes off Singer's hands, her face, doing her best to help her clean off the dirt and grime she missed from her shower. Singer stands perfectly still, her blood roaring in her ears as the scene plays out in her head, over and over and over again.

She did this. This is her fault. She can smell the blood, hear the screams.

Singer knew, deep down, that even here she would get her hands dirty, even here people would die by her hands. She just didn't realize it would be because of her own careless mistakes.

She's been at Mullins for a little over a month now. Anna's been teaching her sign language. It started out small, first with the alphabet, then with simple words and phrases. Now Singer can talk in small sentences without having to write them out. She was doing well. Anna and Josh were even teaching her Morse Code. She did know some of it, but the two have been helping her enhance the skill. She was making progress.

So why did she mess up today?

It was a simple run, Singer's third run here. She, labeled Runner Forty-three, as she had been at the A.M.T.B., was placed with Mullins Runner Nineteen and Fifty-six. It was a simple exchange mission-head to one nearby settlement, give them some tech and they gave back medicine. It was supposed to be simple.

But it wasn't.

They ran into some zombies, which was no problem. Or it shouldn't have been. Singer grabbed a noisemaker from her backpack and ran like she always did, like she had been trained to do. She lured them away so they others could stay on track.

But then she saw it as she crested the hill, the zombies behind her. There was another pack of zoms headed straight towards her companions. They couldn't see them through the trees. Singer tried to raise her hand to tap it out in Morse Code, but it was like her hand just... froze. She couldn't remember how to tap out 'danger'. She couldn't remember how to tap out 'zombies'. It was like her brain short circuted, her new way of communication lost in her memory.

She tried to scream, to yell, but no sound came. Of course it wouldn't. It never would, never again. Singer could only run from the zombies behind her, listening and watching in horror as the pack of zombies descended on her fellow runners.

She tried to run to them, but they were too far away and there were too many zombies for the runners to fend off, even with their weapons. She had to listen as her operator scrambled to get the situation under control, try to find a way out, a way to stop the mounting choas.

She could smell the blood in the air even from where she was as the zombies sunk their teeth into her fellow runners. Their screams burned into her mind, and they brought back memories of her past failures.

She ran back to Mullins, too frazzled to think of anything else, her operator sounding frantic and confused and then finally somber as he let his higher-ups know of the deaths in the field.

And now, as Singer sits in one of the dorm rooms, alone with only Anna, the guilt threatens to ear her alive.

As if reading her thoughts, as if sensing her emotions, Anna grabs Singer's hands, only for her to jerk away, every muscle in her body curling up in defense. Anna raises her hands up, surrendering.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. You're safe now."

Singer was never concerned for her safety. This isn't about her safety. It's about her failure, her mistake which has added two more lives to her body count.

"I know you blame yourself for what happened, but it wasn't your fault."

Singer sneers at her, eyes flashing with anger as she raises her hands. 'It was.'

"It wasn't. It was an accident. You forgot."

'And two people dead.' She curses herself for forgetting how to sign 'are'.

Anna sighs, signing as she speaks after noticing the mistake. "We shouldn't have sent you out on that mission. It's obvious losing your voice is a recent ordeal. You haven't had time to adjust to new means of communication. We can't expect you to preform well because of that."

Singer sneers at her again, but says nothing because she's right. She wonders why her voice was taken away, why that was what they chose to rip from her. They could've hurt her in so many other ways that wouldn't have effected her performance like this, but they didn't. Why did they have to be so cruel?

Singer tenses when she hears the doorknob turn, or at least, it tries to. There's banging on the door, then shouting, an angry demand from a hoarse voice Singer has come to know all too well.

Anna's brown eyes meets Singers's, her voice frantic and tinging on fearful as she whispers one word to her.

"Hide."

Singer wants to shake her head, knowing her punishment will only be worse if she tries to get out of it, but Anna won't let her. She grabs her by the arm and hauls to one of the small closets and shoves her inside, closing the door. Singer is sure she hears a small click of her locking her in.

The banging on the door continues, only stopping when Anna opens the door. Singer pulls her knees to her chest when she hears the angry shouting.

"Where is she?"

His name is Jim, or at least, that's what Singer saw on his desk when she first met him. She didn't bother learning his rank. That didn't matter. All that mattered is that he was a part of the group that decided the A.M.T.B. has enough valuable people for them to try to buy one. He knows what she is.

That's why he's so furious at her mistake.

"Where is she?" Jim shouts again, and Singer presses her ear against the closet door in order to hear Anna's calm response.

"I'm not telling you anything until you stop shouting," She replies icily. Singer admires that.

"You tell me where she is, operator."

"Why? What will you do to her?"

"Runner Forty-three's lack of action caused two other runners to lose their lives. She needs to be punished."

"Punished? She's thirteen!"

"She's a runner. We don't treat them any different in terms of age."

"She can't speak. What did you expect her to do?"

"She's been trained for this. She should know how to act in a stressful sitaution."

"Maybe she should," Anna replies. "I believe she does, but only with her voice. It's obvious this girl wasn't born mute. She's American but doesn't know ASL. If she had been voiceless for a long period of time she would have been taught it, and she would know more Morse Code. I'm teaching her that and BSL. What exactly was she trained to be?"

"A runner. She wouldn't be one if she wasn't." He's no longer shouting, but Singer can still hear the seething anger in his tone. She clenches and unclenches her fists, her own anger boiling up. Anger at herself, anger at this fifty-year-old man who has the audacity to be angry at her even though he bought her as if she was some kind of pet, anger at Anna for trying to come to her rescue.

"And was she trained to be a mute runner? Why did that American base send us someone who couldn't talk? The files say everything was fine on the way here. Nothing could have happened to make this girl unable to speak, so why did they send us-"

"I don't know!"  Jim shouts, and Singer then wonders if the A.M.T.B. tells their costumers why they always receive partially damaged goods. "I don't know why they'd send us a runner that's defective. If I could send her back, I would, but that base isn't a damn store!"

"And yet you talk as if she's an object you bought."

Singer laughs soundlessly when Jim hesitates in responding.

"She got two runners killed. If you think it was because she wasn't prepared, then that's your fault as a teacher."

"Okay. So punish me. She's a child who just needs a bit more time."

"Time isn't a luxury we have. Either you train her correctly, or I'll send her to someone who will."

Singer shudders, knowing how badly that could go.

She stays perfectly still as loud footsteps fade, followed by the loud thud as the door slams shut. Silence follows, hanging in the air for several moments until the lock to the closet door clicks, and Anna opens the door.

Singer shows no emotion as she stands up, dusts herself off and walks out. He'll find her, eventually. There will be a day when Anna won't be there, when he'll have someone find her when she's alone, and she'll have to pay for her mistake. People like him don't just leave things at that. He bought a product, and if she fails again, he'll throw her away and buy himself something different.

Because she's replaceable. That's what Rux always told her, and she's sure those here believe the same thing.

She was meant to be the perfect runner, the runner who did what was necessary. If she's not what she's supposed to be...

That file in America may become accurate.

"Hey," Anna says, and Singer meets her eyes, hating the sympathy she sees in them. "You don't have to worry. He's not going to hurt you. I won't let him."

'I would not go out of  your way to protect me,' Singer replies, her hands moving slowly as she tries to make sure she signs everything correctly. 'I am not worth it.'

Anna frowns. "Don't say that."

Singer just shakes her head, knowing that it would be pointless to argue. Instead she stands and walks to the exit, the guilt of her actions eating away at her, and she files the names of the fallen into her memory of people she failed to keep safe.

•

I open my eyes, grimacing at the bright lights and sound as the credits of whatever movie Milo chose rolls. I sit up, no longer leaning on Sam who I'd been using as a pillow. He gives me a soft smile as I rub my eyes.

"Glad to see you're awake, just in time for the credits."

"Sorry," I reply, not sounding apologetic at all. My words slur together as I try to regain my vision and understanding of what time it is and where exactly I am.

Veronica notices that I'm conscious and stands. "Good, you're awake. Now you can get your lock-picking kit and help me get into Janine's farmhouse."

I have to take a moment to process her words, but once I do, I frown.

"She hasn't come out yet to talk about the plan?" I ask, turning to Sam. Veronica replies before he can.

"If she had, I wouldn't be here, would I?"

I narrow my eyes at her, although the look doesn't hold much heat, just the slight buzz of annoyance as I stand on wobbly legs. I feel hollow, and I think I look it too, seeing how Sam's gaze has turned from adoring to slightly concerned. He places a sleeping Sarah down on the cot as he stands and takes my hand.

"Are you okay?" He asks softly. Veronica's already heading for the door and Milo's a step behind her, so I doubt they'd have heard either way.

"Yeah, just a bad dream."

"Was it..." He trails off, and I shake my head.

"No, just old memories coming back from the surface." I give Sam a quick kiss on the check before I turn to follow Veronica and Milo out the door, grabbing my lockpicking set from the coms desk as I do so. I, of course, have no intentions of using it because I don't want to make Janine mad at me right before she sends me on a dangerous mission in a bio-dome with tons of dangerous creatures. I actually only brought it so Veronica won't say anything. I really just plan on knocking, and then doing nothing if I get no answer. Veronica needs to learn patience anyway.

But as I go, I think of what Veronica said earlier, before I fell asleep. She said I had the highest chance of getting out alive. Even though those chances aren't extremely high, I know one of the reasons I've stayed alive this far is because others have put themselves at risk to keep me safe.

Without them, I'm sure I'd have died long ago.

As I look at the ring on my finger, I smile softly, before my face hardens in determination. I know Janine will be ready for us soon, ready to tell us her plan for Selma. I'll be ready, no matter how dangerous it might be.

I won't make the same mistakes I made in the past.

Never again.

A/N: Here you go, guys! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please be sure to vote and comment! Thank you and have a blessed day!