This time when I climb out of my window there is no Adrian standing on the lawn tossing pebbles. A pang of sadness overcomes me and I quickly push it away. Tonight I won't allow myself to drown in all of my sadness. So putting a big smile on my face, I jump down from where the roof slants low, my feet coming into contact with the solid ground. And with my chin buried in the warmth of my jacket, I head toward the woods.

As I near the clearing, I can hear the boombox already blasting all of the latest hits. My classmates are either dancing, smoking, drinking, or busy looking down at their cell phones.

Ellie spots me, waving me over. "About time you showed up," she smirks.

"Sorry, I fell asleep."

A lie. The real reason that I am late is that I was looking through all the pictures on my phone of Adrian, causing myself to cry. I miss him. Just thinking about him again causes my eyes to tear, but I blink them away.

Tonight I am not letting Adrian enter my mind again.

"Want to dance?" I ask Ellie. I could use a distraction.

She smiles. "Thought you'd never ask."

Laughing, we go to join all of the other dancers, swaying our hips from side to side.

"Where's Sierra?" I wonder when I notice that she is nowhere to be seen.

"Dylan invited her to spend the weekend with him."

"Oh." I'm kind of hurt that she didn't tell me.

My thoughts are disrupted when I feel a light tap on my shoulder. "Mind if I interrupt?"

Ellie shrugs and I turn around meeting those metallic gray eyes. "Sure, what's up?"

He smiles shyly. "Would you like to dance?"

I've seen Levi dance on more than 1 occasion, he is incredible. Would I be able to keep up?

Chewing on my lower lip, I reply, "Ok. Just warning you that I'm not really a good dancer."

"What about decent?" His eyes twinkle in a teasing way and I find myself blushing.

"I guess I'm somewhat decent."

"Good," he says as his hands circle around my waist.

My breath gets caught in my throat when he pulls me close, moving me along to the music. I try to keep up, leaving a distance between us, but end up stumbling and crashing into him.

He holds me up, his eyes gazing into mine, concerned. "You ok?"

I am not interested in Levi Cruze.

Right?

"Hello, Shelby. Are you ok?" he repeats.

Catching my breath, I nod. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Thanks. Got to go though. See you around."

I flee as fast as I can, ignoring Katie's glare of jealousy.

"Shelby?" Ellie runs after me. "Is everything ok?"

Glancing back at her, I give her a forced smile. This seems to be a question I've been asked the most lately. Am I ok? "Yeah. Need to go though. Have a goodnight," I respond, unsure. And then I'm running off, allowing the woods to swallow me whole.

***

An hour later, I'm lying in bed wide awake, my mind reeling.

Why does Levi have to be so friendly to me? Sweet as sugar. Where does his bad-boy demeanor go?

Why does he have to be so damn attractive?

I look at the picture of me and Adrian, the one my mother took on the night of prom which now resides in the pretty silver frame on my nightstand.

Adrian and Shelby forever.

I can't allow anything or anyone to come between us.

With that thought in mind, I force my not-sleepy eyes closed and beg for the world of dreams to drag me under.

***

"Please take a seat." Dr. Lewis doesn't look up from her paperwork as she addresses me.

Slowly I sink into the recliner and wait patiently for her to look up. Finally, she pushes the stack of papers aside and looks at me, ball point pen clicking.

I glance behind her to see how much time has been wasted from this session, noticing that the annoying tick-tocking clock is nowhere to be seen. Dr. Lewis kept her word, removing it from the room when I am around. Thank goodness. Though now I can't tell time, which is annoying.

"What's wrong?"

My eyes meet her dark ones. "The clock isn't here," I blurt out.

"Yes, as you requested."

I intertwine my fingers together. 5+5=10. "Thank you."

"No problem." Click-click her pen goes. "So Shelby, tell me how you've been."

5+5=10. "I haven't heard from Adrian in a while once again, so I guess you can say that I'm nervous and as always worried for him."

"This seems to be a pattern."

I fix my eyes on my tan suede booties. "I know."

"And after worrying for a few weeks he ends up reaching out to you when he finds the time to."

"Yeah."

"Then he must be pretty busy at the time being. He'll reach out to you as he usually does when he gets the chance."

2-1=1. "But what if this time something terrible happened to him and that is why I haven't heard from him."

"You have to stop thinking such terrible thoughts."

"But I can't," I cry. "He's all that's on my mind. Constant."

"I can see that and that is why I want you to clear your mind from all thoughts. Instead, put one word there..."

"And what is that word?" I interrupt, curious.

"Nothing."

"What?"

"The word is nothing," she says. "Just keep on repeating over and over and over again in your mind nothing, nothing, nothing and that should hopefully clear your mind of anything."

Not so sure, but I end up saying, "Ok."

She smiles as she pushes her glasses higher up on her slanted nose. "Good. And how has the calming exercise been coming along?"

"I've been giving it a try," I lie.

"Good, keep it going. I'm hoping though that with this new exercise of thinking about nothing, it won't come to you having to calm yourself down over your fear of Adrian's well-being."

"I guess we'll see."

"Yes. I'm hoping to hear only good things from you next time. Enjoy your week."

And with that, this session is closed.

Getting to my feet, I say, "Thank you, you too." And with that, I make my exit.

"Shelby," Dr. Lewis calls after me.

"Yeah," I ask, looking over my shoulder at her.

"Adrian plans on coming home for New Year, right?"

"Yeah."

"Remember that. Be excited."

"Ok," I say, before escaping the room.

Nothing, nothing, nothing.

Yeah, so not gonna work.