I am scared to breath. 

I am terrified of the idea of my feet touching the wooden ground, leaving the hollow comfort of white linen. 

I am dreading the creak of her door, the look on her face, the inevitable loss of her warmth. 

I am an idiot. 

A groan escapes my mouth as I flip over on my bed, my face connecting with the fluffy white pillow beneath me. The memories of the night flood through my veins, replaying the closeness of her lips to mine over and over and...

I hate myself for not closing the distance. 

I pride myself in my control. 

"Titan?" With a jump, I lift myself from the bed at the sound of Alvarez's voice at the door. I exhale, running a shaking hand through my mess of hair. 

"Huh- Yeah?" I choke out, clearing my throat once it breaks. 

"You missed breakfast, I snuck out some toast for you. Can I come in?" 

"Uh, yeah sure, it should be open." I mutter, throwing myself back on the bed. I wince suddenly...fuck.

The wounds on my back are still fresh, the thoughts of last night having numbed them, but now there are as sensitive as ever, the pain swimming through layers of muscle and bone. Hastily, I pull on a t-shirt as I hear the door opening slowly.

"No need to get all fancy for me, Titan, I'm just lil-old-me." Alvarez jokes lightheartedly, the cheer in his tone like knives. I shouldn't hate the golden edges of his life, but I can't help it. Misery loves company, but it loathes the company of the non-miserable. It's as if I'm the orphan child, staring at a boy and his mother, a shiny new toy dangling from his pudgy fingers. 

I manage a half-hearted chuckle, and my eyes follow Alvarez as he saunters in the room, his hair falling over his eyes, which shine with humor and mischief. He extends his hand, in it, a moderately sized bread bun. 

My thin fingers wrap around the still-warm bread, taking a bite and savoring the steamy goodness. 

"Thanks." I mumble through crumb-filled lips, my empty stomach greedily dismissing any notion of decorum. 

"No problem, man." Alvarez chirps, throwing himself down into an arm chair near my bed, his head back, examining the room. He wouldn't find much to look at, the room much like the inside of a doll's head, empty and dusted. 

"They were talking about the incident yesterday." He starts, catching my attention fully once the bread was as good as gone. 

"Yeah?" I ask, disguising my eagerness. 

"Yeah, your dad and my dad were whispering about it real secret-like," He waggles his eyebrows for effect. 

"And?" I probe, excitement appearing in my voice. 

"Okay, so I didn't catch much, but I know it has something to do with that...thing that took the rabbit in the woods." 

"How so?" 

"Well, let's just say that it wasn't some ordinary predator like a bear." 

"What was it?" 

"That's the thing, they're not sure, but whatever it is, it's got them proper scared." 

I pause, waiting for him to continue, but he just shrugs nonchalantly. 

"That's it?" I snap squeakily, wringing my hands in frustration. 

How can someone be so dim. 

"I didn't get much else, they left the room quickly. It must be really terrifying though, to get our dads freaked out. Everyone knows that nothing scares Alphas." 

You wouldn't know true fear if it stared you in the face. 

How can you be so naïve? 

"Titan, do you know what this means?" Glee shines from his words, and I want to vomit at the cheeriness of this conversation. 

"What?" I sigh. 

"We're going to figure this out. We have to!" 

"How the hell are we going to do that? We have little to no information." I groan, throwing my head into my palms. 

"I have an idea." Alvarez and I both jump at the new voice, our necks snapping to see Alejandra's gleaming eyes at the door. 

"Jesus, Alejandra, you scared the shit outta me." Alvarez places a hand on his heart, a laugh escaping his lips. 

"Oh, go cry me a river." She rolls her eyes, crossing her arms across her chest defiantly. She turns to meet my gaze, and I swallow sharply.

And then she smiles slightly, a blush crawling to her cheeks. 

Power surges through my chest, and I sit up a bit straighter. 

"Well, Alejandra?" Alvarez quips, breaking me from my trance. "What's your brilliant idea?"

A sly grin slips onto her lips, the mischief in her expression absolutely addictive. 

"We can't rely on the adults to help us, they don't want us to know anything. So we have to figure it out for ourselves."

"Yeah, yeah, we know that, skip to the part where you tell us something we don't know?" Alvarez interjects, and I send him a glare for interrupting her. 

"I'm getting to that!" She snaps, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "Since you're pretty much allergic to literacy, Alvarez, you most likely didn't know that this place has a library."

"How the hell is a room full of dusty pages going to help us? Why can't we just go and find the bitch ourselves?" Alvarez jumps to his feet, pumping his fist into the air like a soldier ready to save a damsel. 

"Because, knowing you, we would be monster-food within an hour." Alejandra jeers. "If this thing is as dangerous as it seems, there must be something in the library. And the adults won't suspect a thing." 

The three of us exchange looks, weighing the possibilities in her plan. 

The two looks to me at once, waiting for me to decide the final verdict. 

I sigh, shrugging my heavy shoulders. 

"What do we have to lose?" I ask, and Alejandra squeals slightly in delight. 

"Vamos, boys. We have some research to do." 

We all head towards the door, Alvarez and I following Alejandra down the long halls. 

"Where exactly is the library?" I ask, and she stops abruptly sending me a puzzled look. 

"Aren't you the one who lives here?" She questions slowly. 

"Doesn't mean I spend a lot of time exploring." I shrug.

She sighs, huffing a cloud of air from her lips, which causes a strand of hair to fly out in front of her. 

"Boys...just follow me." And we're off again, trailing behind our small yet genius 'tour-guide' through the maze of the mansion. 

"Woah..." Alvarez and I gasp at the towering shelves climbing towards the impossibly high ceiling of the library. The room smells of old paper and dust, but the aura is shockingly calming, the dust more a layer of particles showing the wisdom and possible secrets hidden in the binding of these books. 

After a few moments of silent awe, one question settles in our collective minds, an inquiry which is finally voiced by Alvarez.

"How in the hell are we going to find our answer in all these books?"

We all share a look, and we turn to Alejandra. 

"Divide and conquer, boys. We each take a section, and we look until we find what we came for, even if it takes days." 

With a few groans and complaints, Alejandra pulls us to the first set of shelves, and we begin our search. 

"Found anything?" I jump at Alejandra's voice behind me, the leather bound book in my hand flying into the air, landing on the floor with a cloud of dust. 

"You scared me!" I whisper. 

"Poor Titan." She pouts with mock sympathy, and my gaze latches onto her lower lip, looking excruciatingly inviting. 

"Well?" She questions again, and I cough. 

"Nope, only a few really boring books on all the prayers and history of the moon goddess. How about you?"

"Same here, I've been stuck in the history of canine teeth, seriously, I feel sorry for the losers who have to write this drawl." 

I chuckle, settling down at a lower book shelf. Alejandra lowers herself with me, and I turn away from the row of black bound books at her. 

"What?" I ask softly. 

She scans my face for a moment, conflict stirring behind her crystal eyes. She grits her jaw, before speaking. 

"I won't tell him." She whispers finally, and I frown slightly.

"What do you mean?"

"Alvarez. I won't tell him about your..about what I saw last night." 

I clear my throat. I had been praying that she thought last night was a dream, that she was sleep walking. Praying she was thinking about it as much as I was. 

"Um..." I mumble, my thoughts stumbling down a flight of stairs as long as time. 

"I promise. It will be our secret." She smiles gently, eyes glimmering like ice on water. 

"Our secret..." I repeat, testing the words on my tongue. 

I am entranced by the idea. A night all our own. A secret only we know. Connecting us for as long as the memory lives in our minds. 

"Promise?" She sticks out her pinky finger, and I frown. 

"Really?"

"Come on, do it." She winks. And I do. I wrap my pinky finger around her's, locking them together, sealing the promise, the secret, in a fire proof black box. 

"Now," She whispers, "Back to work." And then with another wink, she's gone, disappearing into a valley of books and stories, but leaving my heart to glow brighter than the smile painted on my face. 

So sorry I haven't updated "Titan" in forever, but here you go :)