⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙    ‧͙*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆

Saturday, December 22, 2018.

Kellin woke up the next morning thinking it all had been a bad dream. He was back in L.A. on his king-size bed, fresh breakfast being made outside in the kitchen, his alarm would play his wake-up song any second, and he would take his phone to check his schedule for the day... When he opened his eyes he was hit with the harsh reality.

He hadn't slept in this bed since he was 17. It was extremely unsettling to wake up in it. Suddenly he found himself imagining he was in one of those time travel movies where the protagonist gets to go to the past and change the course of their destiny, changing up a decision. He laughed bitterly at his own delusion. Would he change anything? It was no use thinking about it now, wasn't it?

He didn't want to get out of bed. It was cold, it probably snowed all night long. He didn't remember what time he got home after his drive but he was glad he at least had two blankets over him and was wearing his oversized sweater too. He didn't want to know what time it was. He didn't want to know if anyone was home. He didn't want to do today. Maybe, if he stayed in bed all day no one would notice, he would let the hours pass one by one, and eventually he would have one less day at home to deal with.

It was the perfect plan, except he was starving.

He sat on the bed and sighed. He wanted to know the time without turning on his phone or going out of the room, but he couldn't see any analog clocks at all. Didn't he have some in high school? There was no use, they probably wouldn't work anyway.

He got up and started looking around his old desk and shelves. He couldn't believe all the things he left behind in this room, but at the same time, he couldn't see himself taking all that to L.A. either. Even now. His old books, journals, some card games, an old laptop, photo albums on the shelves, some toy figures, his boxes where he knew he kept random memorabilia from his school days.

He didn't want to go through any of it. It would be too much. There was no clock or watch around. And maybe it was unavoidable, maybe he sabotaged himself, but soon enough he was staring at the pictures on the walls. Of his family, of his friends at the theater club and school, of random landscapes, of Vic. And all at once, he was everywhere.

Most of the pictures had him in them, with that same easy grin and bright eyes. The ones that had only the two of them alone certainly made his chest feel heavy. There was a reason he didn't take any of these when he went away. Apart from the obvious. He didn't need to remember, though it was impossible now not to.

All those dates he planned, the car drives way past curfew, their silly moments at school, the sleepovers, hanging out with their friends. It was all coming back like a tsunami wave and suddenly he felt sick. So he turned away and rubbed at his eyes until he saw nothing but random shapes in the dark. He threw all this away. He wasn't going to cry, he wouldn't let himself. You got everything you wanted, quit this nonsense. He couldn't stay in the room for longer. He didn't mind what time it was anymore.

The house was empty. He found a note taped to the bedroom door telling him the family went for brunch, they tried waking him up but he never replied. He must have been pretty knocked out then. He didn't mind. They must be used to being without him anyway.

He went down to the kitchen and finally found out that it was almost 2 pm. Some brunch his family must be having. He grabbed stuff to make himself something to eat, he didn't enjoy any of it but at least his stomach stopped rumbling. Then, he went to shower. It wasn't long before he felt like he would lose his mind if he didn't leave the house.

He had nothing to do, and that was a first in his life. There was always an appointment or an event or a forced meeting or a shoot or a casting call. But now he had nothing. He supposed he could've unpacked some of the clothes that were bursting out of his suitcases, or he could've turned on his phone and checked in with the world, or he could've at least waited for his family to return.

Too bad he never listened to himself, so he took the keys to the Buick and left for another aimless drive.

❆

Maybe Kellin's brain played a trick on him and that's how he found himself riding through the streets he used to take every morning of his high school life. He used to have a run-down car back then, quite nothing like the one he was currently driving, and that did make him feel a tiny bit better about himself and his choices. Past Kellin should be proud of him and that's all that mattered.

A couple of minutes later he parked beside the Methodist church across from his old school. The place that first saw him be a star. Or some resemblance of it. He let out a sigh gazing at the brick, two-story building with the big entrance doors and many, many windows. Since it was the weekend, the place must be locked. But that didn't stop him from wanting to snoop around. Maybe he was too bored and the lack of internet was already getting to him.

Either way, he got out of the car, hugged his coat a little tighter, and crossed the road to the school. What he didn't expect was one of the doors to open before he could even reach the steps that led to them. And it was too late to flee the scene once he realized who was coming down those steps. He was just seeing that easy grin on the photos on his walls.

Vic Fuentes tilted his head to a side curiously and stopped mid-step upon seeing him, and now Kellin did believe his lucky streak was over for sure, because why was the world working so against him the last few days? Now the last person he wanted to see was in front of him again and he had nowhere to hide.

"Kellin," Vic said with a chuckle. "Hi. Funny seeing you here."

"... Hello," Kellin put his sunglasses over his head, his heart stammering for a second which he was sure wasn't supposed to happen.

"What are you doing here?" He asked.

Kellin noticed he was carrying some folders and papers in his hands, a messenger bag hanging from his shoulder. What was Vic doing at the school?

"Just taking a walk," Kellin made up, it wasn't exactly a lie. "You?"

Vic grinned. "Had to finish grading some tests and papers, gotta make the most of winter break ya know."

It took a while for it to register in Kellin's brain. "You're a teacher?"

He didn't mean to make it sound judgmental, he truly didn't. But if Vic took it like that he didn't show it either. His smile never faltered.

"Part-time yes," he chuckled. "I teach Math."

Math?!

"You hated Math," Kellin frowned.

"But I was good at it, remember how I used to tutor sometimes?"

Kind of... Most of the time they tried to study they'd end up making out. Kellin wasn't sure how he even graduated. It didn't surprise Vic was suddenly a Math genius, though.

"It's only temporary unless the school wants me for longer," Vic continued. "And I have another job at the church too."

"Like...?" Kellin pointed with his thumb to the Methodist, shock clear as day on his face.

Vic shook his head with a laugh. "No, the one from across the library. Anglican."

"Oh," Kellin nodded. "What do you do there?"

"Music therapist," Vic replied and that did sound more like him.

Ever since he met Vic, he knew he was drawn to music and singing. But he claimed he wasn't any good or that it was just a hobby and it would always remain that way. Nothing serious. Kellin didn't want to remember the number of fights they had arguing about how he could've made it in L.A. too as a musician. Everything could've been different if he agreed with him.

"That's nice," Kellin said, making the thoughts go away. He had no idea what a music therapist was, but he wasn't going to ask. He wanted the conversation to be over.

"I'm actually headed for a session right now," Vic finally went down the remaining three steps and stood in front of Kellin. "If you're not doing anything, maybe you could join us."

"Oh," Kellin shook his head and looked the other way, to a distant tree on the sidewalk. "I'm running some errands and stuff."

He heard Vic laugh suddenly. "You still do that."

And Kellin looked at him again, "do what?"

"You look away when you lie."

Kellin frowned and his eyes trailed to the ground. "I do not." He did.

"You do," Vic laughed again. "Come on, it'll be fun. The kids will love to meet you."

"It's children?"

"Ages 6 to 17," Vic stated proudly.

"I don't know," Kellin sighed.

"That's fine, maybe some other time." Vic smiled, ready to say goodbye.

"Wait," Kellin lifted his hand and grabbed his shoulder and, upon realizing what he did, he took back his hand in a second. "...Maybe I could hang out for a bit."

And Vic grinned wider.

"I'll just... follow your car there."

And Vic laughed again. "I walk, Kellin."

"What?"

"It's only a couple of blocks," Vic shrugged.

"It's more than that," Kellin retorted. "You'll get there faster by car."

But Vic shook his head. "I enjoy the walk, it's calming."

Kellin looked at him like he was insane. It was infuriating how nice he was. "... Fine. Suit yourself."

"I'll catch you there," Vic offered another smile while Kellin crossed the road to get to his car. "Don't pop another tire."

Kellin didn't know what he was doing, honestly. He pressed the key and drove off, waving to Vic as he passed him by. He knew where the church was. And just like expected he got there in less than five minutes. He parked outside, turned off the engine, and sighed, dropping his head against the steering wheel. Now what?

He got out of the car, noticed some people gathered at the church's front door, and immediately turned around in the opposite direction. Stupid Vic. He put his sunglasses back over his eyes and walked along the sidewalk at a fast pace, with his head down and his hands in his coat pockets. It wasn't long before he met Vic in the middle. And the other man greeted him with a surprised grin.

"Told you the walk was nicer."

"Whatever, Vic."

They walked back to the church together.

❆

They were all sitting in a circle on comfy beanbags. Instruments of all kinds surrounded the teal-colored room, posters of every kind pasted on the walls, Christmas lights above them, the window at the back provided enough natural lighting for the whole room and a decorated tree rested in the corner near that window, with neatly wrapped presents under it. Or maybe those were empty boxes placed there for mere decoration purposes.

Kellin was used to having all kinds of eyes always on him, but having this group of kids staring at him right now felt embarrassing. He felt like they hated him.

"Guys, it's not nice to stare," Vic came into the room holding a guitar in his hand.

He had gone to retrieve it from another place in the church and in the meantime he'd left Kellin with his group of kids and teens. At first, he'd introduced him as a very special guest, it didn't take too long for them to recognize him and start freaking out because someone famous was invading their group therapy session. Kellin had to act naturally when this happened, which was often in his daily life. But as he's said, it's just weird for it to happen here.

So after Vic calmed them down, they all sat on the beanbags, Kellin included. He sat between a boy that looked 8 and a girl that looked to be entering her teens. And while some stared at him curiously, others were snickering at each other, giggling and shushing themselves with childish laughs. He never felt so out of place and he wondered why he even agreed to this.

"Hey Vic," a curly-haired boy on the far side of the circle grabbed his attention as Vic took his place at the center of their gathering. "Is it true that you and Kellin Quinn used to be in love?"

It was like someone pulled the needle from the record player suddenly. Kellin choked on air and didn't really try to hide it. He couldn't. And Vic looked a little shocked but he laughed it off. He was so much better at this than he expected. He spared a glance at Kellin but then returned his attention to the kid.

"And who told you that?"

"My mom says she had a friend who knows a friend that used to go to school with you and confirmed it," he replied, pleased with himself for knowing everything.

Vic raised his eyebrows, amused by the whole situation. "Well, last I knew we were here to play music and not gossip, Eric." And he strummed his guitar as he said it.

"Is it true, though?" Another girl insisted. She had been all giggly with the others too.

"Yeah, did you date a famous actor?" Another joined in.

"Why aren't you famous then?" Another one.

Vic looked at Kellin from across the circle as everyone shot their questions, it was only for a second but somehow he understood what he meant with it, it held all the longing of the world. It's true. He was sure he looked at him the same. But it was over before either of them could process it and Vic strummed his guitar again to quiet the group down.

"Okay, okay, enough of that," he said.

"You should ask him out again, he's really pretty," some other girl said as everyone settled down and Kellin couldn't help the color that rushed to his face.

"Anita... he can hear you, you know that right?" Vic chuckled and the girl blushed a little.

And just then the kid that was sitting beside tapped Kellin's arm, and he turned to look at him, distracting him from Vic teaching Anita and the rest of the giggle club some manners.

"Maybe it's not too late," the boy whispered and Kellin frowned.

"For what?" He asked curiously, but the boy didn't reply.

"Anyway!" Vic caught everyone's attention again. "Enough distractions guys, let's show our guest what we got, okay? No more questions."

And the kids reluctantly gathered their instruments.

Kellin had no idea what music therapy even was before today, but seeing Vic engage in his session was endearing. He was so passionate about it, it showed the second he strummed the first chord of his guitar. He started a random song and each one of them had to follow up, playing their instrument or even singing if they felt like it. To Kellin, it was random music playing, which seemed fun overall, but he knew it all must be strategic.

He had no idea why each of them was in therapy and he wasn't going to assume, but he liked to see them enjoying themselves. Some were a bit more extroverted than others, but Vic encouraged everyone all the same. Even him. He didn't know what to do with the tambourine one of the kids handed him but he got cheered on and he did what felt natural, and he smiled the whole time it was his turn to play. He didn't even have to fake it.

❆

"Did you have fun?" Vic asked once all the kids left the room and the session was over. Now they were the only ones there. Kellin didn't like being so aware of being alone with Vic. Despite that, he went and sat beside him anyway.

"It was nice," Kellin replied truthfully. "You got a wild bunch out here."

Vic laughed and it was better than any music. "They're good kids. I didn't know they were so gossipy, though."

And Kellin had to laugh too.

"Sorry about that, by the way."

But Kellin shook his head. "It's not your fault... Do you mind that I never told anyone about you?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know..."

And Vic knew, but he asked anyway.

"I never minded," he said at last.

"I wanted to protect you, you know? From being stalked and stuff, it is not fun at all."

"Yeah... I always figured as much. Are you worried they'll post about today online or something? I can talk to them."

"No! Don't tell them anything. I just wanted to, I don't know... I'm not good at this."

It sounded dumb, Kellin knew that.

"Hey, I don't want to be famous, or known as your ex-boyfriend."

"Right."

"I'm just Vic. I teach and I play music."

Kellin nodded. Suddenly feeling that nasty nostalgic pang in his chest. They've talked about this before.

"Hey, Kellin..." Vic said after he didn't say anything else.

"Yeah?"

"I'm really proud of you. I don't think I ever got to tell you. You did it," he grinned at him. "You are a star."

A lot of people have told him that. But hearing those words from Vic made him want to lurch forward and wrap his arms around him and never let him go again. He didn't, obviously. It wasn't his place.

"I've seen your movies," Vic chuckled. "All of them."

"God," Kellin groaned.

"They're good! I love that one with the plane thing."

It was embarrassing but it made him so happy that Vic had seen his movies. Kellin always thought he would hate him for the rest of his life. After all, he's the one at fault for everything that happened. Turns out that's the furthest thing from the truth.

"Please don't tell me about this."

"Are you kidding? A famous actor is talking to me, I might have to ask for an autograph soon," Vic joked.

"Give me a sharpie and I'll sign your arm," Kellin teased.

"Sign my face, I'll never wash it off."

"Shut up," Kellin let out a laugh and Vic smiled at him with that twinkle in his eyes. "What about you? Did you ever tell anyone? About me?" Us.

Vic shrugged. "I've been here, everyone that knows me knows. New people? Not so much. It was a bigger deal years ago. But I don't go around saying that to the multitudes."

Vic was too humble for his own good. He hadn't changed a thing. He still didn't know how he was talking to him so calmly. With everything, neither of them should be even giving the other the time of day. But Vic changed his tire and sought him out of a crowd and made him play music with children and now he sat beside him and he was enjoying every moment. He didn't know what it meant.

"Hey, the kids were too shy to ask you but, tomorrow we're having our Christmas party at the church and they would love to have you there."

"The kids or you?"

Vic grinned, a little taken aback by the sudden flirtation. Kellin was surprised too. "Maybe both."

Kellin looked down at his boots. Did something just shift between them? If he felt this weird thing on his stomach when Vic stood beside him yesterday, now he felt like his full-on teenager self again. He didn't know what to do with himself.

But he accepted the invite, knowing deep in his heart that he'd do anything to be in Vic's company for longer.

⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙    ‧͙*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆

*inserts hehe gif*
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