" Nitin she misses you. At least uske liye toh call kar hi sakte ho. " Shehnaaz almost cried out. She felt so frustrated. Living like this. The charade of the happy marriage she had to portray to all, this was like a stab of a knife to her weakened heart each single time. A lone tear leaked her eyes in the seclusion of their room.

Their room!

Irony, hiw their room had turned to become her room now for the last four years.

Her and Myra's. Four years and she had been living here with her daughter, putting up a facade for the family of being happily married to a man who is apparently distance away for the sake of his job purpose, leaving his wife and four year daughter behind.

Happily married! Only if that facade could have been a reality. Oh how she would have turned the world upside down for this facade to become her reality.

" Kiske liye. Kyu karu. She is not mine. NOT MINE. Do you get it! " Nitin like a heartless fellow bellowed on the other side. Hidden within the arms of another woman. Invisible, but Shehnaaz knew. She could hear the heaves and sighs from the background. The purrs and the occasional smooches she was giving him from time to time, so unabashed of him being in a call with his wife.

Nitin had indulged into infidelity . And the most destructive strike of the destiny and the evil fate of her love and marriage, Shehnaaz was very well aware of his perfidious ways. He boasted of his affairs so insolently.

Years! For years he had been doing exactly that. Stabbing their marriage at every possible opportunity. Since the time Nyra was born.

" Shut up. How dare you even say that Nitin! " Shehnaaz hissed at him. The words, they came like a thousand arrows thrown at the same time, denigrating her loyalty. His words like a mortal affront to their love.

Her love! Her dedication! He disappeared from the marriage a long time back.

" You don't have an ounce of shame left in you don't you? " Shehnaaz hissed. Nitin had turned so heartless over the years.

" Lying in the arms of another woman and you have the audacity to raise your finger at me? At ME? The one who doesn't even get the chance to get out of this hell hole alone? You know how absurd that sounds don't you? " It hurt her every time he rejected the claim on his daughter. His own daughter! How could a father be like this. Where did she go wrong for the man to abandon her!

Yet, it was ok till it was her, but Myra she deserved better. A good attentive father. A caring, nurturing functional family. Myra deserved all of that and more. The only reason she still stuck to this loveless marriage. To give her the fallacy of a functional family.

A marriage which started on the notes of love.

Only God knew what went wrong! Or did he!  He might be laughing above, pleased with some sadistic pleasure to see his creation go through so much pain. Why did he make her fall in love at the first place if it was meant to be shattered this filthy way!

" Oh really! " Nitin came with a  sarcastic scoff. Shehnaaz felt like dashing the phone over his smug face. She would have if she could. But that asshole sat miles away in a city unknown. And here she was, so scornfully busy, painting this perfectly happy marriage to his family. How brutally wrong could her life be designed than this?

" Nitin. I'm done begging for myself. This is not for me. " Shehnaaz chided back.

" So why don't you find someone for yourself as well?" He was relentless in hurting her.

Shehnaaz sighed. " If only I was that ethically dead Nitin. I would have trust me. Lekin mere sanskaar mujhe permission nahi deti hai. Till  the time I am bound with you, I would do nothing like that. Shaadi mere liye gudde gudio ka khel nahi hai. I still value each and every vows I took with you around that pyre of fire. Woh dikhawa nahi tha. I loved you. If only you would have understood the gravity of my love. But I think you don't deserve me. " Shehnaaz wasn't begging. This discussion was long due. She needed to show him that love wasn't an obligation for her. That he couldn't manipulate her in the name of love. But this was for Myra. She missed her dad. And too close to her father's family. She couldn't take that away from her daughter. The only love she happens to get, from her grandfather. The only ray of light amidst this darkness.

There was a miniscule remorse that passed through Nitin's staunch demeanour before he hardened up again. He had loved her too. He was robbed. Conned. Or he believed so.

" Then why don't you fuck off from there with that piece of unlucky breed that you have nurtured. Usko uthao aur nikal jao mere ghar se. Divorce le lo aur azaad karo mujhe. " He seethed over the phone. The love, it was there between them. A long time ago, it was there. Pure and true. Even from his side it was there. But guess sometimes, love is just not enough. The other wordly things tarnish the essence in the process. True love is the one that sustains the hurdles of the toughest of obligation and survives.

If only their love could have been that strong and powerful!

But it was not. Shehnaaz and Nitin had love between them. But what it lacked was the zest to keep them strong against all odds!

Their love failed the test of time. Specially after Myra was born!

" And set you free to have your way?  Absolutely not Nitin Kapoor. Jab tak zinda rahoge, is rishte se azaadi toh nahi dene wali main tumko. Tumhe jo karna hai karo. Magar, not with a freedom from this marriage. You would never get that from me. Until you die, you would be tied to me, legally. "

Those were the last words before Shehnaaz had hung up the phone that night. Taking a look at her sleeping daughter, she bend down to kiss her cheeks and walked to the balcony. It was soon to be dawn here in this part of the world.

Dawn!

Shehnaaz had always been in love with the dawn. Specially the one's in Agra. Not that she had seen many, but dawn at agra had a beautiful serenity to it. As the sky would wake up washed in the colours of blood and fire reflecting on the walls of the Taj Mahal, that smaller shadow of it visible from the vicinity of their balcony, Shehnaaz had always been in love with this awakening of the world after a dark night.

It gave her hope!

A hope of a better  tomorrow. Only, that better would never come. Yet, the hope never died within her. It was the hope that kept her going. It's the hope that made her fall in love with the dawn a little more each day.

The dawn that was the last in her life. Or probably that hope igniting, as the news the next day shattered her hope into pieces. The hope of living one more day.

Sidharth strained a fresh cup of coffee right from the pot to fill a large mug up. The percolator gave him nightmare. He had a way with his coffees. Beaten, and freshly brewed, with a dollop of cream atop. Whipped heavy cream.

Sidharth hated black coffee with a passion. He hated everything that was cliche. Hot black bitter coffee to start with. He already had so much bitterness in his life to sustain a lifetime!

Taking his morning addiction he walked to the balcony for another ritual he would hardly ever miss.

Welcoming the day with his clandestine rendezvous with the dawn.

Sidharth had always been in love with the dawn. Since he was a child. Specially the one in Agra.

Agra! His hometown. A shiver of nostalgia ran down his spine giving him the goosebumps.

Twenty five years! It's been twenty five years he had been away from his land, his people, his family, thriving alone in Scotland.  And he missed them all.

But yhere was a solid reason he was here away from his people. He was forced to. He was disowned!

Igniting a cigarette up, Sidharth wrapped his hands around his biceps, the chilly winds of Scotland getting on his skin, the air would always be chilly in Scotland. Specially at the crack of the dawn till the sun would rise fully and warm the valley up. His eyes waded towards the sky, still dark, awaiting for that perfect moment of the rise of the Sun.

The slow breaking of the colours up at the sky, the golden tint of the sun, like a ball of fire peeking through the horizon ready to take the charge for the day, a new day, new hope, new aspirations, new dreams, yet the same old life . The slow chirping of the birds, intensifying, waking the world around, Sidharth had always found dawn enervating. Beautiful. The most magnificent creation of the God as the moon would sleep for the day, making way for its better half to take the charge, dawn was like an awakening, full of promises.

The dawns of Scotland was equally mesmerising as he took a hold of his DSLR, capturing relentless shots of the world waking up.

Photographs! They were his life. The kink that kept him going. A professional photographer by profession, he was the best in his field, specialising in nature. Specifically the dusks and the dawns. His one photograph would sell at pounds. Making him unaffected now with being disowned by his family from the hefty properties. He was thankful and grateful for carving a niche for himself in his field.

The field, the choice of careers one of the reasons he was away from his home thousand of miles away.

One of the reasons! The other....

Sidharth sighed, finishing up his coffee, his mind and heart soaking itself under the drizzle of absolute peace. He didn't want to think of that darkness again. He wanted to have a little peace back in his otherwise lonely life when his cell phone rang, breaking the trance.

Frowning he looked at the call. His frowns deepening to see the location.

A call from India!

And that is when the hell broke loose. The destiny stroke again!

***

So Back with Tint of Dawn but revised and renewed. Hopefully we  will connect again.

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