ORLANDO BLOOM : OUR FAVORITE ELF IS 'BLOOMING' IN LOVE

Earlier this month, our most-wanted Lord Of The Rings elf, Orlando Bloom, was spotted sharing loving kisses with a mystery girl in Auckland, NZ.  The British actor were snapped laughing together in each other's arms with a cute shortie (above)!

The two had just got out from a fancy European restaurant in the city for a stroll in cold August night — but based on this lovey-dovey hug shot, the lovebirds don't seem to mind the cold! In fact, they do look so warm and fuzzy!

An onlooker told E! News:
"They looked very loved up when they chat and share carefree laughter together! Orlando was a total gentleman! He gave her his scarf to warm her up before peperring her with sweet kisses!"

It seems like our elf who put the word 'sin' in 'sindarin' had lost his interest in tall supermodels since Miranda Kerr and instead turned his eyes on a cute, fun-sized chick! In fact, another insider revealed that the hot actor is even referring to her new babe as "girlfriend"! Ohhh la la!

[ORLANDO POV]

CJ and Ruth both had their own surprised reaction at reading the gossip magazine page. However the terror in CJ's face was the only one that bugged me the most.

"Eat that, Kerr," mumbled Ruth.

Yes, Ruth never liked Miranda. All the time I was in relationship with Miranda, she had treated Ruth coldly as if she was nothing whenever I wasn't around. And Ruth just told me this about a year ago after few months the relationship ended.

The revelation made me grateful that I and Miranda was over despite the fact that at the time I still felt something for her.

That before I met Lynn.

Ruth were smiling benevolently at me. "Is this from the brain soup incident night a month ago?" she asked with amusement twinkled in her eyes.

I nodded with a small chuckle before returning her smile and genuinely thanked her.

"You are a dead man walking," CJ announced with a finality, his eyes looked at me with horror.

I sighed. "I didn't even realize someone taking our picture. It was night time I didn't think--"

"--Cute, fun-sized chick?!" quoted CJ, peering at the magazine, totally ignoring me. "Look, Orlando, I've known Lynn since stone age and I never tell anyone about this but Lynn is extremely-- I mean extremely sensitive about people making fun of her height! And in an international magazine?" CJ screeched, shaking his head with a pose, "You are dead."

Ruth let out an amused laugh while I stared at CJ in wonder.

"It says... cute. She's cute, why would she be mad? It's a compliment," I retorted. "And we both know I couldn't help not knowing there are some people snapping our picture in the dark like in some bloody detective movies!" I added despite the dread that built up in my mind about Lynn finding out.

"Do you not understand a thing about girls? They hate it if someone compared them with their boyfriends' exes. And on top of that-- fun-sized?-- You are going to unleash the beast," affirmed CJ with a scrutinizing look.

"The comparing part is not wrong. No one likes to be compared to another. I don't know about the beast though. I say it might really be a problem if you think it that way," quipped Ruth nonchalantly, an amused smile still engraved on her face.

"Nah. It can't be that bad, CJ," I waved, trying to convince him and myself that the magazine was not a problem at all.

"You two don't know her like I do. She must never read this article," declared CJ, taking the magazine and rolled it in his hand.

Both me and Ruth jumped when we heard CJ yelped loudly and dropped the magazine to the floor. His face turned from shock to excited in a fraction of second.

"Hey, there bunny Lynn! Ahahah," exclaimed CJ, his tone pitched ever so slightly in nervousness, before he inhaled and swished his scarf to the side. "Anything you need, dear?"

Lynn tilted her head in suspicion, her intelligent blue eyes slitted ever so slightly. No doubt detecting something off from her best friend before glancing back at me, Ruth and back to CJ.

I shook myself from my stunned state and flashed her a smirk while placing my arm on her delicate shoulder.

"My girl," I cooed, kissing her cheek, "Miss me already?"

Lynn smiled prettily at me and shook her head. "Nope. You don't even cross my mind the whole day. I come to give you this," she handed me my schedule for tomorrow.

As soon as I took the paper from her hand, she bend down and picked the dropped magazine-- much to my and CJ's horror. I watched in terror as CJ let out a horrified shriek and snatched the magazine from Lynn's hand who now stared at CJ without bothering to hide her awe at her friend's behavior.

"What's gotten into you today?" she wondered, her baby blue eyes wide in awe. "What's in the dang magazine?"

CJ's eyes flickered nervously for a flitted second before he answered confidently. 

"Wha--? What's in the dang maga--? Are you kidding me, Lynn?! Antonio Banderas is posing for the new Gucci Guilty perfume and I gotta sniff him!!!" he ranted madly before bursting out the door.

The three of us left behind were dumbfounded at the guy's sudden burst of energy. Lynn snorted and gave me a questioning look in which I just shrugged.

"Well, if I am gay, I admit I would act the same way CJ does. And yes, I would gladly sniff Antonio Banderas," I muttered nonchalantly.

Ruth choked on her drink, laughing and I chuckled upon seeing Lynn giving me a disgusted look.

"God, monkey. You're giving me a very very bad imagination of you and Mr. Banderas sniffing each other."

I shuddered at the imagery and cringed inwardly. I shook my head.

"Ooh, that's quite a picture," commented Ruth, smirking at Lynn.

I gave my agent a pointed look before turning to Lynn in inquiry, suddenly got an idea.

"Do you imagine me, often, luv? How do you find me... in your imagination?" I asked huskily, giving her my best smile as she scowled at me. 

My interest suddenly spiked at the sight of her sudden change of expression. Her face turned red then suddenly she smirked at me in mischief.

"Do you really want to know? Are you sure you're old enough to get into my thoughts?" she taunted me as she straightened the hem of my shirt and dusted it, giving me the most dazzling smile that formed some kind of lump in my throat. 

She winked, causing me to swallow hard before answering while trying to hold down my excitement.

"Oh hell yes, luv. Tell me."

"I often find myself... Imagining you as Legolas..."

"Go on, luv," I encouraged her, my voice turned down a notch in anticipation. A smirk played in my face.

"You were making out with both Aragorn and Frodo," she said earning a groan from me and she added, "Oh! And then you make out also with Gimli and Sauron!"

The spell she put me under was broken in an instant as the image of me kissing my guy friends came into mind, making me wanna gag and throw up.

"Ugh!!! Lynn! Why did you have to do that?! You're preposterous!" I protested, holding my throat with both hands trying to gag out the disgusting picture she created in my mind.

Lynn and Ruth were giggling with each other before Lynn fanned herself and gave me the fake distressed look.

"Ugh," Lynn grunted, fanning herself with her hands as she looked at me in mock seriousness. Obviously enjoying my distress. "Isn't it hot here?"

"You're so mean, luv," I whined at her cruel smile. "How could you even think of me like that? And Sauron? He's the dark lord and his form is only an eye! An eye! How am I supposed to make out with an eye?!"

"Okay, so you don't like Sauron but you don't mind making out with Aragorn, Frodo and Gimli?"

I groaned again, about to retort but Lynn already answered her walkie talkie and made her way to the door. Before she closed it, she peeked and spoke with me and Ruth.

"Sorry guys, duty calls," she said to Ruth and me with a smile before winking at me, "We'll continue this later, luv," she added with a fake British accent before closing the door.

I grinned and shook my head. She was going to be the death of me.

"She's cute. I really like her," Ruth nudged me and my grin got wider.

"I know. I like her too, Ruth," I mumbled.

"No you don't like her. You're in love with her. But you need to fight for love."

I raised my eyebrow at her. "How poetic, love," I teased.

Ruth gave me a small smile before it faltered. 

If my smiley faced agent turned less smiley in a few seconds after we both were left alone, it only meant that she was about to drop a news that either me or she didn't like.

Or both of us didn't like.

I tilted my head slightly and looked at her intently.

"Kerr called. She wants to meet you."

I scoffed in disbelief and rolled my eyes. "And what did you say to her?"

"I told her I'll get back at her. Politely, despite the fact that I wanted to tell her téigh trasna ort féin, bitseach," muttered Ruth with a motherly smile.

I chuckled. Whatever that thing she said must not meant so good. 

"Translation?" I asked, folding my hands in front of myself.

"It's my native tongue, Gaelic, it means 'go fuck yourself, bitch'," Ruth answered, the motherly smile still plastered on her face, which was out of place given the rare swear words that I thought was the longest I ever heard out of my agent's mouth.

I laughed at her and hugged her, clapping her back.

"Oh Ruth, love. It's funny the way you showed your support for me all this time, but I appreciate it nonetheless. Thankyou," I said genuinely, chuckling. "Please tell her I said hi. And that I'm busy with filming."

Ruth smiled good naturely and nodded as we started to make our way out the door to continue our work for the day.

"Will do, Bloom. Will do. Now get back to the camera and make Legolas kick some ass!"