Yes, I know, another update. it's because I love you all and I just couldn't wait to post it until tomorrow. So here you go!!

--Alarik--

My eyes are closed and I'm waiting for Allison to tell me what's going on. I pull her closer and feel and hear her large intake of breath followed by a loud exhale. I can feel the tension building up in my muscles as I wait, waiting for something, anything. 

I could feel her locking down, closing off our bond. 

"When I was in there, they did tests on me. That's where the scar and the bullet came from, but those weren't the only ones."

Her words felt like a splash of ice cold water through my veins and my eyes snapped open. 

"No. Close them." Her words are a plea, one that I can't refuse. 

I close them again. "Why?" I ask. 

"Just keep them closed or I'll have to turn around. Please."

I nod stiffly and put my forehead to hers fighting my desire to open my eyes and look at her. 

She went on with her story, giving me every gruesome detail of what had happened to her. With every new revelation I could feel my muscles tensing even tighter, my jaw clenching until it ached, but it was no match for the ache I felt in my heart. 

How could anyone do something like that to another living person. It didn't matter if they were different, if they could do something others couldn't. Nothing justified the torture they had put her through. 

I could feel her body shaking in my arms, her silent sobs that she tried to push back while she flushed out her dark secrets. 

Not being able to look at her was becoming a physical pain, one that ran as deep as my ache for what she had endured. Having her blocking me out right now, even more so. 

"There were days when I thought you would never come. I thought I was going to die in there, die from one of their tests. There were times when I wished I had died. Waking up again after one test just to be dragged in to another. I wished that my body would just give out and let it all be over."

Her voice was shaky with the tears I knew were running down her face. My thumb rubbed gently over her cheek wiping the streaks away. I tried to hide what her words did to me. They felt like a knife deep in my heart. They did more damage to me than the blade and O'Brian's claws had done when I'd gone in there for her. 

I felt the tears coming to my eyes as well, unable to be contained behind my closed eyelids. I don't say anything back, I can't say anything, I don't know what to say. 

I squeezed her tightly in my arms a reassurance for both of us that she is here and safe now. 

Silence falls between us as she finishes her confessions. Her silent sobs still shake her body.

"Can I open my eyes now?" I ask in a whisper. I don't think I could manage anything louder. 

"I'd rather you didn't." I hear her sniffle and feel her move her hand up to her face wiping away the tears, trying to pull them in check. 

"Why not?" I'd wanted to ask the question earlier, why did she want me to close my eyes, but I'd just indulged her. Now I was trying to figure out if I'd done the right thing or not. 

She'd just endured her personal hell all over again. Laid it all out for me, but she wouldn't let me look at her. 

"Because I'm not sure I could handle what I'd see in your eyes," she confesses. 

"What do you mean?"

"I don't want you to see me differently. I don't want to see you looking at me with pity for what happened. If I saw that, if I saw it from you, I think it would kill me."

I roll so that I'm hovering over her and I hear her sharp intake of breath from surprise. We are forehead to forehead, nose to nose, and my eyes snap open, blazing into hers. 

"I would never look at you any differently. I would never pity you for this. My heart breaks that you had to go through that, that you had no way out and you had no one with you. My heart breaks that you felt so alone, that you wanted it to end in any way it could. I lost you, I could have lost you for good and that thought kills me every second of every day."

Her eyes are wide like she isn't sure what I'm saying. 

"I am angry at those people who did that to you, angry at the man who made it all happen. My anger should be sated because those people are dead, the ones who touched you, who hurt, you are gone. But the anger still remains because what they've done has left a permanent effect on you. I can see it in the way you hold yourself, in the look in your eyes. I feel it in the way you keep yourself carefully guarded, even against me. They didn't just leave permanent marks on the outside, they've marked you on the inside. 

"You are still my Allison, you've just been through so much more now. You've seen a darkness that most can't even imagine and I'm truly sorry for that. Yes, I blame myself every day for what happened, I'll constantly wonder if there was something else I could have done to prevent this, I'll tell myself I should have gone after you instead of letting you walk to my house. I'll go over all the places I went wrong, but none of it will change what happened."

I take a slow, deep breath. 

"But don't for one second think that I will see you any differently because of what you went through. You are so strong for living through that hell. You are the strongest woman I know and I'm proud to call you my mate, my Luna, and soon, my wife."

Allison's tears have started again and I lean down kissing them away. I sit up and pull her into my lap. Her head rests against my chest, her ear over my heart and I pull first one wrist then the other up to my mouth, circling them in kisses over the scars from her bindings. I then do the same to her arm, lightly kissing up the scar that's there. 

She doesn't pull away from me, she doesn't stop me, but I can feel the tension in her body that releases only when I set her arm back down. 

She avoids looking at me, taking her eyes anywhere but up to mine. I tilt her chin up with my fingers so she has to look at me. 

"I don't see you any differently," I say again firmly. There is nothing she could do to make me see her as anything less than what she is, a strong, amazing woman who I would do absolutely anything to protect and keep close. 

She smiles at me, but it's one that makes me think she isn't sure that I'm telling her the truth. I'm not sure what else I can do to convince her that there's nothing she could possibly do to make me look at her differently. I just kiss her nose and shift to get up. 

"You must be hungry," I say to her. I pull my pajama pants back on and she gets up after me throwing her clothes on too and we go down to the kitchen. 

I go into the fridge which has already been stocked and the pantry. I pull out the pancake mix, eggs, and bacon. I mix up the batter and start on breakfast, hearing Allison's soft footsteps coming into the room. 

She hops up, sitting on the counter and I turn to look at her while I cook. The memory of the morning after we completed the bond comes to mind and a slow smile spreads across my face. 

Allison has pulled her hair up into a high ponytail and I can see the faint spot on her neck where I'd marked her. 

My eyes keep shifting over to her while I cook and I can't resist the temptation any longer. I turn around and put my hands on the counter on either side of her and I lean in kissing her lips. Her hands find their way into my hair and she pulls back just a bit.

"If you're not careful you're going to burn that food."

"You look much more appetizing," I say with a sly grin. Allison rolls her eyes and smacks my chest but I can see her amusement. 

I give her another quick peck on the lips and go back to the stove, serving up the pancakes, bacon and eggs to her at the table and setting down another plate for myself. 

We sit across from each other at the table, Allison looking out the window, me watching her. I feel her legs shift under the table until she's rested them on my knees and she looks over at me with a smile. I can't help but smile back, every time I see her smile it warms me up. It's a sign that she's working through the darkness. 

"I'm meeting with my father today. He's called in a witch, a powerful one. We're going to discuss pulling the packs together. He seems to think that we'll be able to do it rather easily. We'll just pull them both in instead of creating a new space. The witch seems to believe he can pull them together in a way that will go unnoticed by humans. It will be like there never were two 'towns' near each other. They'll just fold into one and shift on the maps to this location."

"What's it going to be called?" Allison asks looking out the window again. 

"I think I want to keep our town's name, it's going to stay Nether Heights."

We eat in relative silence, talking every once in a while about the packs and bringing them together. How I feel about taking over the new pack. 

It's an odd feeling, but I'm up to the challenge. The people of the late O'Brian deserve to have a solid foundation. I can't judge his pack based on the man that ran it. 

When we're finished eating I pat her legs and get up. 

"I need to get dressed so I can get to that meeting. I can take you to Cassandra's if you'd like."

Allison nods her head. "I should probably go talk to her, apologize for everything. I've been kind of a shit friend since I got back."

"You've been under stress. No one blames you for anything. Cassandra knows you were having a hard time, she understands."

"Still." The word comes out as a whisper and I leave it at that. I just nod. 

"Alright, Cassandra's it is then"

We both go upstairs and get dressed. I show her the closet and the clothes that were already here. Not too many, but I'd gotten her some. 

"How did you know that we were going to be here?"

"I didn't," I shrug. "But I'd hoped you'd want to stay here. Beats being in a house where there are parents around constantly."

Allison laughs and the sound is like heaven's bells. We get dressed and head back out to the car and drive back into the pack. I drop her off out front of Cassandra's house, giving her a quick kiss and telling her that I'll be back to pick her up. I'm not letting her make that walk again, I'd been serious when I said I would be looking over anything I could have done differently. 

I watch her until she walks into the house and then I take off, heading back to meet with my father and the witch he has in mind.

***************

So she told him. And it seems like it helped a little more. She still has some issues inside, but at least she's dealing with them instead of pushing them away. 

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