December 18th, 2016
Liam

I left Aspen's room after I finished with the basket of laundry and walked into the the kitchen. The papers were still spread over the counter with the black ink still staining the pages. It was only a week ago when we signed these documents, but now he's gone.

After Aspen was born Niall had been advised not to physically try for anymore children because it could end up killing him and the baby. A few months ago we began looking into adoption, and had found a young girl that we were inserted in adopting. We had already been denied so many times just because we were a gay couple and many believed that we did not have a stable home.

Then came Emma Julianna Malik. She was a nine year old from Paris and was the only child that we had not been denied from adopting. She had pale skin and raven hair that complemented her green eyes. She even was bilingual in French and English. She was a dream and I was still shocked that we had been approved to adopt her. We had signed all the paperwork, but with Niall's death it was all gone.

Now instead of planning what color to paint her room I was planning Niall's funeral. I felt warm tears roll down my face and kiss the papers below me. The ink smeared slightly as I continued to stare at his small signature: Niall Payne. I felt so lost without him. I have no clue how I'm going to raise Aspen on my own, and my dreams of having another child was gone without him.

I miss him so much.